Chapter Text
2 YEARS AGO
“We should break up.”
You’ve been rehearsing those four words for hours, but it doesn’t take away the fact that it sounded as if you had taken a taser and had turned it on to shove it in your throat. It was bitter to spit out to him, of all people.
The room is quiet, save for the soft hum of the clock on the wall. You didn’t want to look at him at first because you didn’t want to see the hurt on his face, but you forced yourself to see what you had done.
There he was. Nanami Kento, standing at the other side of the kitchen with a mug of black coffee in his hand.
There was no anger on his face. No hurt. He just…was. And you didn’t know how to take that reaction. You weren’t surprised by it, but you weren’t expecting it either.
“Alright,” he finally says as his golden eyes scanned your face.
Alright?
You blink, shocked by how easy he’s making it. You had expected him to be calm about it because you knew him, but not this calm. Not this accepting.
While still standing there, you hear him say it.
“I expected this.”
Your stomach drops. You immediately understand. Nanami was one to measure the variables. He had everything calculated, from the start of the relationship to when it would end. It would not be shocking that he had caught up on your change of attitude.
But it still hurt.
Maybe because you wanted more? You wanted him to fight. To tell you not to go. Just not this. But you’re the one who’s leaving, right? It shouldn’t hurt this much.
“I’m sorry,” you mutter as you take one step forward but stop yourself. If you make another move, he’ll catch on. He’ll know that this isn’t what you want. You don’t want to leave, but you have to. “Did you hear me?”
“I heard you perfectly.” His voice is steady. “You want to leave. So leave.”
You shift your weight from one foot to the other. “I just think it’s for the best—”
“Don’t lie to me.”
You freeze.
His tone is firm, but not cruel. Never cruel.
“You’re doing that thing you always do,” he continues, tilting his head as he assesses you. “Convincing yourself that you’re better off alone. Pretending you don’t care. Hoping I’ll make this decision for you, so you don’t have to.”
He’s right. He knows he’s right, and you do too.
“Nanami, I just think that—”
“Do you love me?”
The question hits you like a brick to the chest. It’s not fair. You don’t know where he wants to take the conversation. You could lie, but you don’t want to. Not to him. All he’s ever done is treat you right.
Your mouth opens, then closes. You want to say no. You need to say no. No word comes out of your mouth.
He finally eases himself off the counter he’s resting on, making his way toward you. Your heart is thudding too fast. You fear you might not make it. He’s standing in front of you, eyes never leaving your face.
“What about this makes you so terrified, y/n?”
This time, you don’t resist the urge to raise a hand to your chest as if that will stop your heart from going haywire.
He can read you like a book. He knows why you’re leaving. He’s always known.
But he knew before he asked you to be his girlfriend, right? He knew this day would come.
“It’s… You’re too good for me,” you finally admit. Your eyes sting from unshed tears. You feel stupid for saying it out loud.
“Y/n.” He leans only slightly, the heat of his body coming off in waves that makes you want to hug him, but you don’t. “Is that enough reason for you to leave? You think I’m too good for you?”
You don’t know how to answer it. You simply stand there, fingers wringing your shirt.
The cold mocks you when he takes steps back, a definite sigh leaving his lips.
“I won’t chase you.”
You don’t dare to look up at him. You know his words are final because Nanami never says what he doesn’t mean.
“If you run, I’ll let you go. If that makes you happy, then I have no interest in keeping you locked up here.”
You never said it would make you happy. You know what he means. He’s putting the decision back in your hands. Your suitcase is by the door of the living room and he’s in the kitchen. If you go back to the living room, he won’t be coming with you.
“I’m really sorry for this,” you say as you look up at him. His eyes are set on you and his face betrays no emotion. You want to crawl into his mind and know what he’s thinking, but you know you can’t.
“You deserve better than me.” You don’t know why you say that. Maybe to kiss the wound that you made on him.
You turn around before your tears fall so he doesn’t see them, but you’re sure he knows you’re crying.
And when you head for the living room and take your suitcase to leave, he doesn’t chase you. Because Nanami is a precise man.
And he never says what he doesn’t mean.