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English
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Part 25 of The Blaze and Silver Show
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Published:
2025-03-30
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1,887
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1/1
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Pizza Time

Summary:

A short silly story inspired by a tumblr shit post by the one and only TheFlashDriver about Blaze eating pizza with a knife and fork, and Silver eating steak with his bare hands :) Soooo... Guess what this story's about.

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Work Text:

Monsters. That's what they were, monsters. All of them. In their own ways. The judgemental glares were being shot in every direction and it was clear that lines on the battlefield had been drawn. Oh the irony, how this all started as Blaze's idea of bonding, and here they ended up, divided, and quite firmly I might add. Blaze and Gardon on one side, and Silver and Marine on the other. Opposing each other at the circular dinning table. Blaze had originally conceived of this plan last night when she had stumbled apon a rather horrifying sight in one of the main kitchens. And that horror, would be none other than Silver the Hedgehog, hunched over the food counter, preparing himself a sandwich. Which is no crime of course... That is unless it was a cockroach sandwich, which it was. Seasoned dead cockroaches positioned in between the two slices of brown bread. Blaze almost turned white at the sight it. Apparently it was a force of habit, in the apocalyptic wasteland that was his home, food was rare to come by, which forced the boy to sustain himself on the nigh-unkillable little critters. For Blaze it was unthinkable.

"Wanna bite?" was all he said. Blaze had to surpress the urge to throw him out of the castle then and there. And it dumbfounded her that he had not moved to change his taste plaette now that he was in the greatest Queendom this side of the multiverse. Blaze and her culinary 5-star misheline chefs had access to the richest, most exotic, most deliciously adventurous foods from across not only The Sol Isles, but neighbouring dimensions! Surely, we could do better than that. A force of habit he supposed. Blaze wasted no time in attempting to remedy this oversight.

That night Blaze and Silver sat down with a queue of cooks and chefs from across the lands in front of them, each offering a new and, for Silver, previously unheard of delicacy. They presented their expert meal one by one. Blaze giving them a clap and a bow each to show her appreciation. But once she turned to inspect her partner she realised that Silver did quite know how to deal with the attention. He was squirming in his chair, clearly uncomfortable.

Blaze had heard Silver speak of this before. He simply wasn't used to having so many people around, he came from a desolate world after all. He... struggled with social interactions, niceties, or how to take a complement. She wasn't much different.

She was about to call the whole ordeal off just when Silver was presented with a brand new piece of cuisine that he'd never heard of before and caught his eye (because he's techniqually a cyclops). The delicious aroma led the hedgehog into asking one defining question which would lead them to the present circumstance; "What is this... Pezzah?" And so his fate was sealed from there. The chef had gifted the time-traveler with a sample, and the hedgehog had a straight up Ratatouille moment, his eyes lit up and began to water as he kicked his feet. He had found the perfect meal, a heavenly delight. Dinner had been chosen.

Though happy that the first step of her quest was complete, a part of Blaze could not believe the outcome. "I gather the finest cooks, bakers, chefs, sommoliers, the most fanciful, unique, outerworldly, high-end foods are presented before him. And he picks - pizza?! It's so simple, and crude. There's at least seven pizzarias down the royal lane out the castle. (The finest salmon, caviar, and glazed lobsters, and he goes for the fast-food option, ugh there goes my diet resolutions from New Year's, three months isn't bad, I guess) Ugh, I just wish he could've picked something more... Romantic." The royal feline caught herself, eyes wide, tail taut - Did she really just say that? Uh oh. Oh no. She had swiftly done a double take at the dinner preparations she herself had set up. A two-seat table. Lit candles. Flowers. Dim lights. No. No. No. This was far too romantic, not nearly platonic enough. This-- All this had to go. The microsecond her heel left the ground there was but an after image left of her as she moved faster than sight, rearranging everything. Extinguishing the candles. Opening up the curtains. And most importantly adding two more chairs to the table - big mistake.

The cat then proceeded to invite her young ward to join them in their fest, Marine didn't need any convincing. A single mention of free food and she'd be there no matter if invited or not. And the girl would never pass up the opportunity to people watch and tease her favourite 'celebrity couple'. Blaze thought of that, of course, she needed back up, so she invited her greatest servant, Gardon. The elderly koala was the Princess's oldest, true friend. He had practically raised the girl. Taught her how to tie her shoe laces, how to sip soup without slurping, how to incapacitated and destroy her enemies, the standard to-know basics very little girl should know. He was more of a parent to her than her real parents. The less said about them the better. And it had been a while since they had sat down and had a dinner together, as family rather than as host and servant. And she knew he'd shut down any sly remarks or innuendos brought up by the little raccoon rascal. Gardon of course humbly and thankfully accepted the offer, taking each statement the Princess said as more of an order, but he was genuinely touched by the generosity.

And so everything was in place. Everything was set up to go perfectly according to plan. Until, of course, the Incident. Dun. Dun. They truly had no idea how it came to this, it all just happened so fast. And it all evolved into pure mayhem.
The eager duo of Silver and Marine had done their proper royal greetings, bows an' all, which Gardon was always a stickler for. They sat down and launched into their food. Before Silver stood a pineapple and Jalapeno pepper cheddar pizza. In many realms around the Sol Dimension seen as a war crime, and punishable by death, resurrection and then another slower death, repeated five times over. Blaze had to smuggle it over several boarders, but she was a reasonable host, she did not judge her beloved partner, nothing could tear the starcross 'best-friends' apart... Surely. Before Marine laid a tuna and anchovies, ham pizza, from which Blaze took much inspiration for her own dish; an anchovies, tuna, sardine, goat cheese, triple-cheese pizza. The master and apprentice had often bonded over their shared love of fish and various other sea foods. No judgement there. Finally, there was Gardon, who had a more refined palette, for him he requested a specialised eucalyptus leave pizza, no cheese, no sause. Adhering to dietary needs was important, having an open mind was always a good quality to have, no judgement there.

And so, they dug in. And that was when the divide came into being. Blaze and Gardon watched, wide-eyed, flumuxed, in disbelief as both Silver and Marine reached over the utinsiles for the pizza slices, completely ignoring the eight forks and sixteen knives specially curated by the staff. And just stuffed the pizza slices into their mouths. Like. Like- ANIMALS. THOSE- THOSE BARBARIANS! Silver folded his slices, oowie gooie cheese rolling down and all over the table. Using his GLOVED hands, letting the cheesy, greasy, pizza juices to stain his gloved fingers. And Marine-- oh god, Marine, chomped into the cheesy triangle like a pirana attempting to gnaw a man's leg off, practically flailing around like a dog with a toy bone. The pizza matter went flying everywhere. That was when the dewildered, judgemental stares began to be lobbed at one another.

Gardon's sly remark didn't help, about how they weren't dinning in a stable. Which flew over Silver's head at first, eliciting a mere raised brow from him as he chewed. But Marine understood it fine. She narrowed her eyes at the old koala, he returned the gaze. Marine had been plenty scolded before about her manners and etiquette, judged by Blaze's inner-circle of stuck up pricks for being 'unrefined' and 'of lower cast'. She had no patience for it. So in turn she proceeded to do it even more, practically molding the pizza like Play-Doh. All while keeping unbreaking eye contact with him. Which prompted Blaze to get involved and use her disapproving glare at Marine. She wordlessly communicated with the small raccoon with her dilated pupils, grimacied face, and slight nudge under the table, which more or less meant: Behave.

Which Silver took notice of and swiftly rallied to the girl's side, she hadn't done anything wrong in his eye, so Blaze's responses seemed uncalled for. He silently mouthed 'Leave her be.' while using his telekenetic aura to float a napkin over to the young sailor and cleaned her messy cheeks. Marine still held unbreaking eye contact. That earned Silver a scowl from Blaze. Which normally would've made him crumble like a cookie, so he just turned away from her, while rolling up another slice like a tortilla and eating it from the side. You could practically see sparks flying from Blaze's grinding teeth.

The situation didn't improve when Blaze and Gardon began to eat. They took hold of their silver utinsiles, shined to perfection (clean enough to eat from... wait) and proceeded to dissect their pizza slices like an autopsy. Blaze had practically gone through all the forty-seven forks and ninety-three knives, each for a different section of the of the meal, the greasy cheese triangle came apart as if in a time laps in her superspeed. Now it was Silver and Marine's turn to look bewildered at their dinner mates' antics.

Marine spoke up first, "OH COME ON!"

Blaze gritted her teeth at the little runt, "Marine."

"You make up this big stink, and you do THAT with your food!? What are you torturing it?!"

"I'm using proper royal Solian etiquette!"

"It looks like you've dissected a frog in class!" Marine mocked.

Blaze retaliated, "WE HAVE TO MAINTAIN SOME SORT OF MANNER AND SENAIBILTIY! What are we animals!?... Wait."

Silver pouted, looking side to side, he leaned down to Marine, "But... But... We-- We are animals." He remarked confused.

Blaze buried her hands in her face, and exhaled heavily, "This was a mistake."

Everyone fell silent, each feeling guilty and awkward. Though too prideful to apologise. They remained as such for a moment, exchanging judgemental looks amongst each other. And now we had finally caught up to the present moment, as an uneasy ceasefire settled over the dinning room table.

And then, it was Silver who broke the silence first. Blaze and he hated not being on speaking terms, leaving arguments unresolved, they were simply to close to each other, two halves of one whole. So Silver offered and alternative, "Steak?..." He looked side to side, gauging the room. A beat passed before.

"Yeah, sure."

"Alright."

"Suits me."

Blaze played ball and continued onward with the newly found forward momentum, "Well done?"

Silver answered, "Medium rare."

"...Why is everything you say wrong?"

"Oh here we go again!-"

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