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One day Donald Trump signed an executive order officially declaring every day of the year to be April Fools Day. When everyday is April Fools Day, no day is, so he effectively abolished it. “I feel so bad for Rootspring,” he whispered.
After Trump abolished April Fools Day, everyone cheered and even his most fervent haters agreed that the very act of abolishing April Fools Day instantly made up for everything he's ever done that sparked outrage, so they all became Trump supporters. Kamala Harris, Andy Beshear, and Bernie Sanders were all spotted wearing MAGA hats. Now everyone could freely announce shocking events whenever without everyone initially assuming it's a joke just because it's some arbitrary day on the calendar, and since every day was April Fools Day that meant they were now all fact-checking things when they should have been doing that anyway. No more fake pregnancy announcements, fake break-ups, fake job resignations, fake hirings, fake firings, or waiting until April 2nd to post serious matters. A small vocal minority threw hissy fits about there no longer being an April Fools Day but they were thrown in an El Salvador prison because their opinions are objectively incorrect, and they were not missed by anyone.
When he ran again in 2028 and every 4 years after that until 2100 when he finally died of natural causes, 100% of all eligible voters voted for him every election cycle simply because he was the hero who saved the world by abolishing April Fools Day way back in 2026.
