Chapter Text
Familiar footsteps sounded, bringing the equally familiar smell of Soldier 11, comforting even over the food waiting for her. Trigger’s heart raced in her chest, loudly enough she was surprised to find Soldier 11 so near. “Oh, you got noodles.” She didn’t sound particularly surprised, but she made no effort to hide her excitement, immediately turning to the food.
Trigger just had to hope that excitement would carry over. If she was right. She couldn’t know until her partner checked, and it was almost time. She needed to figure out a way to bring this up, quickly. Normally she never struggled in these situations, particularly with Soldier 11. Dealing with the populace, so often receiving their gratitude, answering their probing questions, it was all simple, but nothing had ever been as natural as time with her.
She just had to remember that. It didn’t matter how overwhelming this might be. It was still Soldier 11. “Yeah, since you had to do that job on your own, I figured it’d be a nice welcome when you got back. Assuming you didn’t stop for some on your way back to the base.”
“No!” Soldier 11 chuckled, and she didn’t smell like she’d just eaten, though she had certainly had noodles for lunch. “I was going to ask if you wanted to go get some once I was home.”
Trigger reached out, taking Soldier 11’s hand, squeezing it lightly, trying to still her heart and to steel herself. It had been five minutes. Closer to seven, she was pretty sure. That was long enough. If they didn’t look now, they’d never know. Though ignorance certainly had an appeal. “Well, I knew you’d want that, so I made sure to have it ready. I just need you to take a look at something for me first.”
She could feel Soldier 11’s gaze on her. Clearly, she could tell something was wrong. She knew her too well. “Normally you’re the one who brags about seeing everything. What do you need my help with?”
In another moment, there’d be nothing to hide. She just had to get it over with. “It’s in the bathroom.” She led an even more confused Soldier 11 into the bathroom, pointing out the strip that still sat on the counter, taunting her with its inscrutability. “The test should be…how many lines are there?” She gulped, that thundering returning, blocking out everything.
She couldn’t tell what Soldier 11 was doing, but she suddenly felt a hand in hers again. “You’re…”
The one word drowned out everything. She sounded…excited? Terrified? Both, certainly. “Two lines?”
Soldier 11 seemed unable to even breathe. At least she wasn’t alone. And she didn’t seem upset. “It’s not two lines.”
Oh. Then Trigger was worried for nothing. Maybe it was early onset menopause. Or maybe it would be next week. Or maybe it would be in an hour and she really panicked early. She’d wasted both of their time and panicked them both. For nothing.
“It says pregnant. There aren’t any lines.”
She wanted to punch her. Or maybe shoot her. Or kiss her. “What? We’re—I’m…”
“Pregnant.”
The fear vanished. It was the result she was dreading, and it was everything she wanted, and it would never work. She was a soldier, her partner was a soldier. She didn’t have the kind of time off to go through with this, let alone to handle it for the rest of her life, however short that may end up being. But she was almost bouncing for joy, pink lights popping to life. She was going to be a mother. “I’m pregnant.”
Another nod. “But…how?”
“How?” As on edge as she’d been, Trigger couldn’t help but laugh. Soldier 11 was lucky she wasn’t straight up guffawing. She’d oscillated all day as to whether she was more terrified of it being true or not being true, but she knew she couldn’t know until Soldier 11 got home. She’d never be able to live with herself if someone else had known first, and she had no way to find out on her own.
“Well when two people really love each other—”
“I didn’t—but”
“Oh, so you don’t love me?” She smirked, watching Soldier 11 flounder. It was almost worth all the day’s stress all on its own.
“Of course I do. But we don’t have time for a child! And we didn’t…how would this happen?”
“Well, when you put it in me—”
“I don’t mean the…” She whined, crossing her arms. Trigger was pretty sure she was meeting her gaze, but she may have been looking off to the side. Soldier 11 was facing her, but slumped, and obviously terrified. “I didn’t think I’d be able to. I knew they gave us injections in utero to…it was supposed to give enhanced strength and aggression. I didn’t think that…why would I be fertile?”
It was always so surprising when she talked about her childhood. Trigger had had to piece most of it together from snippets until Anby had told her everything. “Maybe they didn’t intend it. Maybe they wanted a whole litter of baby super soldiers eventually. Or maybe this should’ve been impossible and we’re just…very very lucky.” Her breath caught. It still felt so strange to admit how badly she wanted this. “But they’re not around anymore, and we are. And…we’re going to be mothers.”
Soldier 11 was quiet. If only she could see what she was thinking. “What are we going to do?” It was barely a whisper and it filled the room.
“You wouldn’t rather discuss that over your noodles?”
She started, jerking her head toward what passed for the living room-kitchen-dining room-laundry room-gym of their room at the compound. “Oh. Right.”
“You forgot about noodles?”
“It’ll never happen again.”
Trigger giggled and leaned in. Soldier 11 was still shaking as their lips touched. “The food will calm you down and we can figure this out but…”
“We’re keeping it. I know.”
She hated when she got tears in her eye cover. The etheric blast had done a number on her tear ducts but sometimes they still slipped through. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” She grabbed one of the styrofoam containers of noodles and sat on the couch, the aroma overwhelming as she opened it.
“No.” Soldier 11 sat beside her and promptly slid closer. She so often avoided any real intimacy, but since her injuries, she’d been more affectionate. Was this just more of that, or was this about their child? Trigger adjusted, holding the bowl between her legs and wrapping an arm around Soldier 11. “I don’t even think we could manage a cat. And I wanted one too. But I gave up Inky, to a better home, because I knew we’d never be able to be around. That we’re soldiers. That it wouldn’t be fair to her to be stuck at home, maybe not being fed, with no idea of where we were or anyone around to look after her.”
The chopsticks shook in her hand and more tears caught. The response froze in her throat. Was this not fair to their child? Of course it wasn’t. “That doesn’t sound like you think we should keep it.”
“I’m laying out the reasons not to so we can work around them. We plan. We know what we’re stepping into before we do it. Think of it like planning around an ambush. It’s true no plan survives first contact, but it’s still better to be prepared.”
“Then what’s your plan of attack?” Trigger asked.
“We have friends now. I’m not saying that we’d give our child to them, but…we’d make sure they’d know when we’re gone…and completely violate operational security.”
“We could always tell them to check up at a certain time every day or so. I’m sure we have enough friends to manage that now. Then if anything happens to us…or if a mission goes long.” Soldier 11 wasn’t panicking about how they couldn’t do this, she wasn’t looking for excuses, she was trying to find a way they could make it work. This was better than she could’ve imagined. And it meant that Trigger was going to have to convince someone to stop being a coward. “Though, it wouldn’t have to be for long.”
Soldier 11 slurped in confusion.
“I’ve got nine years active service--ten by the time she's born--along with my injury payments. I could retire again. I'd be able to take care of her.” And she’d already stopped saying ‘it.’ This was real.
“Would you really do that?”
“Maybe not for good. I love my work and we have to keep New Eridu safe, for our daughter if not for anything else. But…for her…”
“And we’re sure it’s a girl?”
“I could make a Punnett square if you need.”
“I don’t know what a Punnett square is.”
Of course. Soldier 11 never had any normal schooling. “There’s no place for a y chromosome to come from. So I’d think it’s safe to say girl. And…it just feels like one.”
Soldier 11 finished her first bowl of noodles and started on the second. “So we talk to Belle, uh…” She trailed off. She did say friends. She probably felt like there was another person there, but she couldn’t remember. But that would be tomorrow’s problem.
“We’ll make sure we have people who know and who could check up on her. And…I’ll think about retiring. But we have time to decide on everything. But…we’re doing this?”
“We are. I want this. Though if you’re retiring anyway, I definitely could’ve adopted Inky.”
Trigger chuckled and kissed Soldier 11’s cheek, her eye cover clinking against her goggles. “Maybe you can share and they’ll let Inky come over here sometimes. And our daughter could play with the cat.”
Trigger almost spilled her noodles. She had been able to count on one hand the number of times Soldier 11 had hugged her. Apparently all the trauma had been good for her, as she finally needed a second hand. “I love you.”
She kissed her, the spice on her lips tingling. “I love you too.”
“Now let’s start thinking about names.”
That was a recipe for disaster. But it wasn’t as if she could exclude her partner from naming. “You don’t think it’s a little early?”
“I think you have me wanting to plan a life with you. I never thought I’d have one. I’ve only ever been a weapon.”
Fine, she could suggest names. “Then let’s start thinking about names. But we have time. We don’t need to settle on anything yet.”
“I know.” She picked the bowl back up. “I’m excited.”
Trigger had spent the last few days panicking about it, and now that she knew for sure, she couldn’t be happier. “I am too.”