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It was January when things started to go wrong.
Jimin dropped his head in his hands and slid to the floor of the bathroom. Shit. Shit shit shit.
“Jimin! Are you done yet? I have to go pee!” came Taehyung’s voice, a bit muffled through the door.
“Yeah, just give me a second!” Jimin jumped up and flushed the toilet, watching the flower petals swirl away. When he opened the door, Taehyung pushed past him.
“Thank god, you were taking forever!” Taehyung exclaimed, slamming the door shut.
Jimin walked away, heading to the dorm room that he shared with Taehyung and Hobi. He flopped down on his bunk, arms outstretched, and let out a melancholy sigh. He had started throwing up flowers about a week ago. He knew immediately that they were chocolate cosmos; after all, how could he forget?
The interviewer held up a placard. “Here’s another question from a fan: if you were a flower, what type of flower would you be?”
The boys laughed because of the oddly specific nature of the question.
“Chocolate cosmos,” Jungkook answered immediately.
“Why is that?” the interviewer prompted.
“I read somewhere that chocolate cosmos mean ‘I love you more than anybody can,’ and I’m the best at loving, if you know what I mean.” Jungkook raised his eyebrows suggestively before winking at the camera.
“Oh,” the interviewer laughed. “Someone’s confident!”
The minute he started coughing up those flowers, Jimin knew it was the Hanahaki disease. It was a disease that had only began circulating recently, but scientists had been able to deduct a few things. Intense heartbreak caused the disease. Flowers would grow within the body, and the victim would begin to throw them up. If the victim got over the object of their affection, the disease would eventually cease. If the victim could not get over their beloved, they had two options: a procedure to remove the flowers, which would also remove all feelings they harbored towards their loved one, or death. Once diagnosed, the victim had approximately a year to live.
Jimin tried his best to keep this knowledge under wraps. He knew if his friends found out, they would try to make him get the surgery to remove the flowers from his body. He knew they would do it with the best intentions. He knew they would do it because they cared about him, but he couldn’t stand the thought of removing the flowers, because removing the flowers that meant that his feelings would disappear too. He wasn’t ready to live in a world where he didn’t love Jungkook. A world where he didn’t love Jungkook wasn’t a world he wanted to live in.
“It’s time for practice!” Namjoon’s voice carried throughout the dorm.
Jimin hopped off his bed, trying to occupy his mind with thoughts of their upcoming dance session rather than the flowers. He could deal with this.
They had a series of concerts in February.
Jimin had been in high spirits all day long. Nothing made him happier than performing. He loved being on stage with his best friends, and he loved the energy and support that the fans gave them. In fact, the whole concert had gone on without a hitch.
Backstage, after the show ended, Jimin covered his mouth as he coughed. He quickly grabbed a tissue and wrapped up a few dark petals.
“Are you okay?” Hobi walked towards him, holding up a bottle. “Do you need some water?”
“I’m good hyung.” Jimin waved away Hobi’s concerns. “I think I’m just coming down with a cold or something.”
“You better get some rest,” the elder replied while patting Jimin on the back. “We have another concert coming up soon.”
Jimin nodded. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.” He threw the tissue into the garbage can.
It was March when Jimin’s best friend figured out that something was wrong with him.
They had been in the dance studio rehearsing again, and Namjoon called for a twenty minute break. Everyone seized the opportunity to grab a drink and rest. As they all cooled down, Jimin broke into in a coughing fit. He covered his mouth with his hand and dashed to the restroom as fast as he could. He hunched over the toilet bowl, retching up flowers that looked like red velvet. After the flowers left his body, Jimin unsteadily brought up a hand to wipe his mouth. He was panting, his body exhausted from both the strenuous dancing and the exertion of releasing the flowers.
He heard footsteps getting nearer. “Jimin? Are you okay?”
“Jimin?” Taehyung’s voice grew louder.
Jimin panicked as he realized that he had left the restroom stall unlocked. He sprang up to grab the stall door and shut it, but it was too late. Taehyung stood there in front of him, his eyes filled with shock as he stared at the petals floating in the toilet.
“Is that…,” Taehyung trailed off in shock.
“Please don’t tell anyone,” Jimin pleaded.
“What? Jimin! You have to get treatment! If you wait, you could die!” Taehyung exclaimed.
“No!” Jimin walked towards the other boy. “No, please. I don’t want the surgery! I can handle this by myself, just don’t tell the others!”
Taehyung looked at Jimin, pain evident in his eyes. “You know I have to.”
Jimin hung his head in resignation.
❀ ✿ ❀
The two boys walked back to the dance room together in silence. After all, what was there to say? Jimin was dying.
As they neared the studio, laughter could be heard. The mood of the room turned somber once Jimin and Taehyung entered the room. Taehyung’s expression was serious.
Namjoon stood up. “What’s wrong?”
“Jimin has Hanahaki disease,” Taehyung blurted out.
There was pause so quiet that they could’ve heard a pin drop.
“What?” everyone exclaimed at once. Different things were being shouted from every direction.
“Everyone, be quiet!” Namjoon shouted. He turned to Jimin. “you have to get the surgery. now. I’m calling the managers.”
Jimin stepped forward. “Hyung, I’m not going to get the surgery.”
“Are you fucking insane?” Yoongi interjected angrily. “You need to get it Jimin. You need to get it done now.”
“I don’t want to,” Jimin said defiantly.
“You are going to die Jimin,” Yoongi snarled.
Jimin’s shoulders stiffened. “Hyung, do you think I don’t know that?”
Yoongi’s face suddenly crumpled, as if all of his anger had drained out of his body. When he spoke, it was barely above a whisper, and his voice held no heat. “I don’t want you to die.”
“How long...how long have you known?” Taehyung tried to control the tremor in his voice.
“Two months,” jimin said quietly.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” despite his efforts, Taehyung’s voice wavered. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I knew that you guys would try to make me get the surgery. I won’t do it.” Jimin looked at the ground.
“Why won’t you get the surgery?” a disbelieving voice made Jimin’s head snap up. “You have to get the surgery!” Jungkook said incredulously, confusion in his eyes. “Why won’t you?”
“You don’t understand Jungkook,” Jimin tried to reason with him. “I don’t want to stop loving y- the person I love.”
“Who is this person you love so much?” Jungkook’s confusion melted into anger. “Why is this person so important? Who is it? Who do you love so much that you would die for them?”
Jimin said nothing, mulling over the irony of the situation in his head. If only Jungkook knew. You, Jungkook. I would die for you.
The seven boys stood there, lapsing into silence once more, knowing that things were about to change.
By April, Jimin was being hospitalized.
The numerous amount of times he coughed up flowers a day was starting to damage his throat. He could barely breathe anymore because the petals were always floating in his lungs. His organs were slowly failing because the flowers were starting to sink their roots into his body.
He still refused to get the surgery.
His friends could only stand by and watch helplessly as he began to deteriorate. Jimin thanked whatever gods existed that Bangtan had finished touring last month. At least this way, the fans wouldn’t know about this situation, and the group’s reputation could remain intact.
Their managers, on the other hand, were unhappy, to say the least. The company tried to convince Jimin to go through with the surgery. Do it for the sake of Bangtan, they had said. Jimin knew he was being selfish. If he died, that would impact the group. He wasn’t one to brag, but he knew that he was one of the main dancers and one of the main vocalists. There were times when Jimin had been close to accepting the surgery in order to save the group, but then he would remember Jungkook’s laugh, his smile, his singing, and his resolve would wither.
I don’t want to forget.
He coughed. More chocolate cosmos tumbled past his lips.
The past thirty days had been those of awkward silence, but the group decided to give Jimin the best sense of normalcy that they could provide him with in May.
It was during this month that everyone asked once more: who was the mysterious person that caused Jimin so much heartbreak that he had come down with Hanahaki disease? As much as they pestered Jimin, he remained tight lipped. “I’m not saying.”
“Come on hyung,” Jungkook whined. “Give us a hint, at least.”
“I’m not going to tell you,” Jimin stated with conviction, then winced. His throat was always sore.
Taehyung rushed over with a cup. “Do you need water?”
Jimin nodded and moved to grab the cup, but Taehyung was already trying to pour the water down his throat. “Open your mouth.”
“Okay, Mom,” Jimin retorted weakly.
“Shut up,” Taehyung chided him. “Do you need anything else?”
“I’m fine, you worry too much. You’re gonna get wrinkles and grey hair soon.” Jimin gave him a teasing smile and expected his best friend to roll his eyes or do something silly in return.
“You’re going to be the death of me, Park Jimin,” Taehyung muttered softly, taking Jimin by surprise. He placed a hand on Jimin’s forehead. “You need to get some rest now.”
Jimin was quiet as Taehyung ushered everyone out of the room. As he watched the scene, tears sprang to his eyes. When he auditioned for Big Hit, he had been praying to be accepted to become a trainee. When he was going through training, he had hoped to be able to debut and become an idol. He hadn’t expected to gain six brothers out of the whole deal; six guys who knew him better than he knew himself sometimes, who loved him unconditionally, who supported him no matter what. Once everyone else had left the room, Taehyung began walking out the door.
“Taetae,” Jimin called out softly.
Taehyung turned around. “Do you need something?”
“No, I just-” Jimin swallowed thickly. “Thank you for caring about me all the time.”
Taehyung walked over to Jimin’s bedside and simply said, “You’re my best friend.”
Jimin yawned, suddenly overcome with a wave of exhaustion. “Stay with me?”
Taehyung didn’t say anything, merely slipping under the covers in response. Jimin moved over to make more room, reveling in the warmth that the other boy brought with him.
June brought Jimin and Taehyung even closer.
Since the group was officially on a break, the boys were free to relax for a few months. They all visited him often, but no one was by Jimin’s side more than Taehyung. In the beginning, the others tried to convince Taehyung to spend more time away from the hospital. It wasn’t healthy to be cooped up inside all the time, they argued, but Taehyung was hard headed, and so they gave up.
“You should go have fun,” Jimin protested more than once. “It’s summer time. You should be swimming or going on roller coasters. You should be hanging out with the guys, not sitting in a hospital.”
“But it’s no fun without you Jiminie!” Taehyung would pout. “I like hanging out with you the most anyway.”
“That’s not a very nice thing to say. How would the others feel?” Jimin joked, but his insides flipped at Taehyung’s words. He knew how rare it was that they got time to rest, and he didn’t miss the significance of Taehyung sacrificing a precious break to stay by his side.
They spent almost every day together. Some days they would just watch TV. Other days they would play games. Sometimes they would just talk.
Near the end of June, Taehyung asked, “Will you tell me who you love, Jimin? Please? I want to know.”
Jimin sighed. “I don’t know, Taetae.”
“I’m your best friend. Don’t you trust me?” Taehyung looked up at him with shining puppy dog eyes, and Jimin felt his willpower crumble.
“Okay, okay, fine.” He brought his hands up to cover his face, feeling himself turn red. “It’s- it’s Jungkook. I’m stupid, I know.”
He felt Taehyung pull his hands away from his face. “You’re not stupid for having feelings.”
“But Jungkook would never love me back! I’m just a friend to him. I’m dumb for liking him, anyways. He’s perfect in every way. He’s the golden maknae. I’m just Jimin,” he said, fiddling with the bedsheets. A cough suddenly erupted from his chest, and dark, velvety, chocolate cosmos spilled from his mouth.
Taehyung brushed away the petals, titled Jimin’s chin up, and looked him straight in the eyes. “I like just Jimin.”
Looking into Taehyung’s eyes, Jimin felt his heart beat a little faster. He didn’t know why.
It was in July that they all discovered the truth.
“I think Jungkook hates me,” Jimin confessed one day. “I haven’t seen him since the first week of June.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t hate you,” Taehyung said soothingly. “Let me talk to him, okay?”
Back at the dorms that day, Taehyung confronted Jungkook. “Why haven’t you been visiting Jimin?”
Jungkook looked like a deer caught in headlights. “W-what are you talking about, hyung? I- I’m just really busy.”
Taehyung crossed his arms across his chest. “Busy? We’ve been on a break for months, and you’ve been going to amusement parks with the hyungs. You know Jimin thinks that you hate him?”
Jungkook had a guilty expression on his face as he said, “I don’t hate him.”
Taehyung softened up and put a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Then why are you avoiding him?”
“I was going to drop by for a surprise visit last month, but I heard you guys talking. I’m the reason that he’s in the hospital! I’m the reason that he’s dying!” Jungkook choked out.
“Who keeps making all that noise?” The youngest members of the group turned to see Yoongi staring accusingly at them through half drooped eyelids. “I’m trying to sleep.”
“It’s nothing,” Jungkook stammered nervously. “Sorry Yoongi hyung, you can go back to sleep.”
Yoongi narrowed his eyes at the pair. “Okay, now I’m suspicious. What are you two shouting about?”
“Nothing,” Taehyung deflected.
“Tell me,” Yoongi demanded. “Come on, ‘fess up.”
“Jimin hyung is dying because of me,” the maknae said in a rushed manner, causing the sentence to blend into one.
Yoongi said, “What?” while Taehyung groaned, “Seriously Jungkook?” at the same time.
“Jimin hyung is dying because of me.” Jungkook’s statement hung the air.
“And...how exactly is he dying because of you?” Yoongi looked at him skeptically.
“He has Hanahaki disease because he’s in love with me.”
“Oh.” Yoongi’s eyes widened as everything clicked in his mind. “Oh, fuck. Does anyone else know?”
“Only we know,” Taehyung said quickly. “Don’t tell anyone! I don’t want Jimin to be embarrassed.”
“How are we going to hide this from everyone else?” Yoongi pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Hide what?” Jin popped out from around the corner. “What are you kids hiding from me?”
The three boys looked at each other, avoiding eye contact with Jin. Jungkook caved in first. “I’m the reason why Jimin has Hanahaki disease.”
❀ ✿ ❀
They ended up gathered in the living room while Taehyung recounted the whole story.
“I always suspected that Jimin might have felt...more than brotherly feelings towards Jungkook, but I never thought…” Hobi trailed off.
“I don’t know what to do.” Jungkook sounded miserable. “It’s my fault that’s he’s sick.”
Jin scooted over to Jungkook and put an arm around the baby of the group. “It’s not your fault that you don’t feel the same way that he does.”
“It’s not your fault,” Taehyung agreed. “But go visit him again. He misses you.”
Jungkook let out a breath. “I’ll go see him soon.”
It was August when Jungkook went to see Jimin.
“I’m sorry!” the boy bowed deeply in front of the hospital bed. Ii’m so sorry! It’s all my fault!”
Jimin was puzzled. “What are you doing Gukkie?”
“I’m sorry for not visiting you hyung! And I’m sorry for being the reason why you’re in here!” Jungkook was still bowing.
“How did you find out?” was all Jimin could get out of his mouth.
“I heard you and Taehyung hyung talking. I’m sorry.” Jungkook didn’t look up. He couldn’t look Jimin in the eyes, not when he was the one causing his pain.
“It’s not your fault you’re so irresistable,” Jimin said after a moment, trying to lighten the mood. “Come on, Jungkook. Sit down and talk to me.”
The two of them spent the rest of the afternoon catching up with one another. Jungkook realized that though he tried to to stay away in order to not cause Jimin more pain, he had missed the older boy’s constant hovering and clinginess. The dorm felt empty without Jimin’s presence.
As Jungkook stood up to leave, Jimin coughed, hacking up a few flowers. Jungkook gasped. “Are you okay? Should I call a nurse?”
“It’s fine, Jungkook. I’m fine.” Jimin spat a few times, trying to get the last of the petals out of his mouth.
Jungkook frowned and grabbed Jimin’s hand, trying to appeal to him one last time. “Hyung, please get the surgery. I don’t want you to die.”
Jimin gave him a halfhearted smile. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay. Good night, Jungkook.”
As Jungkook walked away from the hospital room, he swiped at the tears that began to run down his face.
Meanwhile, in his hospital bed, Jimin was experiencing a strange mix of emotions. He was glad that the younger boy had come in to see him, but hearing from Jungkook himself that he didn’t love Jimin romantically hadn’t hurt as much as Jimin had anticipated.
September brought changes. The leaves changed colors, and the relationship between the 95 liners changed too.
“Your condition seems to be improving,” the doctor remarked. “Recovery is extremely rare, but the flowers within your body have shrunk a little bit. The roots are also showing signs of retracting. You may just have a chance yet.”
“Really? How am I recovering? I never had the surgery.” Jimin was baffled. Next to him, Taehyung’s eyes widened hopefully.
“There are only two known explanations so far: either your love has been reciprocated, or your love for the person is dissipating,” the doctor explained. “We’ve done all the tests we need for today, so I’ll leave you two now.”
“Huh,” Jimin mused. “I wonder what’s happening to me.”
“Maybe you’re finally moving on,” Taehyung suggested.
“Then why does it still hurt when I think about him? I wish I could get over him already,” Jimin admitted to his best friend. “I’m tired of feeling this way.”
“I wish I could make you happy Jimin,” Taehyung said suddenly, in an uncharacteristic moment of seriousness.
Jimin smiled at Taehyung, his eyes crinkling up with a light that Taehyung rarely saw anymore. “You always me happy Tae.”
Taehyung moved closer. “No, Jimin. What I mean is that I want to be the one that makes you really happy.”
“What do you mean?” Jimin tilted his head, slightly confused.
“What I mean is…” Taehyung closed the distance between them.
Jimin was taken by surprise, but he didn’t push Taehyung away. Instead, found himself melting into Taehyung’s touch. The younger boy’s lips were firm, yet plush, and his mouth was warm. Taehyung pulled away first and gave Jimin a soft smile.
Jimin tried to catch his breath. “What was that for?”
“I meant what I said. I want to be the one that makes you happy. The doctor said that you have a chance at recovering. Let me help you recover.” Taehyung reached for Jimin’s hand.
Jimin tried to wrap his mind around the idea of him and Taehyung together. “Have you...have you always felt this way?”
“I’ve always loved you as a friend, but in the past few months...I think I’ve fallen in love with you, Park Jimin,” Taehyung confessed.
“I don’t know if I can ever move on though, Taehyung. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel the same way about you.” Jimin stared at their hands, fingers twined together.
“I know, but give me a chance to change your mind,” Taehyung said earnestly.
Jimin looked into Taehyung’s eyes, which were sparkling with determination and affection. Taehyung really cares about me. Maybe it’s time to move on.
“Okay,” Jimin murmured.
October was a little bit scary - not just because of Halloween, but because it was filled with big steps.
Being in a relationship with Taehyung was different than anything that Jimin had ever experienced before. Taehyung was, of course, very understanding, and the new chapter in their relationship progressed slowly. Switching from being friends to lovers wasn’t as tough as Jimin thought it would be, and he surprised himself by slipping into the relationship with relative ease. In fact, their relationship barely changed. They would still goof off together, talk together, and hang around each other. The only difference being that there was also a lot more cuddling, hugging, hand holding, and kissing.
As the relationship between the two grew, Jimin’s health began to improve. The doctors started to notice the signs of a recovering Hanahaki patient. “You’re very lucky,” one doctor commented during his latest check up. “Finding a new love to replace the old one doesn’t happen very often.”
Taehyung waited for the doctor to leave the room. Then he turned to Jimin. “Since you’re getting better, I want to tell everyone about our relationship. Are you okay with doing that yet?”
After a moment of hesitation, Jimin agreed, a spark of courage flaring in his chest. “Yeah. I think it’s time.”
❀ ✿ ❀
During the third week of the month, Taehyung invited everyone to the hospital under the guise of celebrating Jimin’s birthday. Well, Taehyung was throwing a party for Jimin’s birthday, it just so happened that they were killing two birds with one stone.
All six boys crowded around Jimin’s hospital bed, holding presents, food, and balloons.
“Jimin and I have something important to tell you guys,” Taehyung announced. He glanced over at Jimin, waiting for the boy to speak when he was ready.
Jimin reached for Taehyung’s hand, squeezing it for comfort. “Taehyung and I are together.”
“Wait, what? Like together together?”
“Are you serious?!”
“Since when?”
“It just happened,” Jimin shrugged nonchalantly.
“What about the disease?” Jungkook looked at the couple with an inscrutable expression. “I thought you were...in love with me.”
“The doctors said that Jiminie’s showing signs of recovery!” Taehyung interrupted excitedly. “I want to help him get better!”
“That doesn’t really sound like a good plan,” Jungkook said sullenly, crossing his arms.
“Don’t be rude,” Jin scolded the youngest boy. he turned to Taehyung. “Doesn’t that mean Jimin needs to fall in love with you instead? Wait, do you guys love each other?!”
“I love Jimin,” Taehyung said seriously, taking everyone by surprise. They were used to his playful, childish demeanor. “He might not be ready to say it back yet, but that’s okay.”
Jimin, touched by his boyfriend’s words, leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you, Taehyung.”
❀ ✿ ❀
Jimin eventually made so much progress that the doctors agreed that it would be okay for him to go home. He was prescribed medication and ordered to take it easy upon release - after all, his body was still recovering from the ordeal - but it seemed like he would make a full recovery. The hospital staff threw Jimin a going away party. It was rare that they saw Hanahaki patients having happy endings, and they had all grown fond of Jimin over the last nine months.
When Jimin walked out of the building, he saw Taehyung in the parking lot, leaning against a car.
“Hey baby,” Taehyung drawled. Jimin couldn’t help but laugh at how silly his boyfriend was when he tried to be seductive.
Taehyung threw his hands up in the air. “Why are you laughing at me? I’m trying to be sexy!”
Jimin ran over and threw his arms around Taehyung. “You’re a dork.”
Taehyung returned the embrace with just as much enthusiasm. “Ready to go home?”
Jimin simply tightened his grip, burying his face into the taller boy’s neck.
Home was wherever Taehyung was.
In November, Jimin adjusted to life back home.
Everyone was relieved to see Jimin growing stronger with each passing day. It was like he never contracted the disease, and the dorm felt complete again, like it hadn’t been short one member for the past few months. Along with that, Jimin’s throat was healing nicely, and he was thrilled at the thought of being able to sing again.
One of the best parts of being back home was being able to dance. One of the first things that Jimin had done was race to the dance studio. When he set foot in the place, he nearly wept. He hadn’t had the energy to dance in so long. He quickly changed into casual clothing and hooked up his phone to the speakers, the music blaring loudly in his ears. As he began to dance, he felt complete again. Jimin moved fluidly, his limbs swaying in time with the beat. Everything was okay again. Everything was alright.
Being home also meant being able to sleep in his soft, comfortable bed again. Except now, there was a new Taehyung-sized addition to his bed. Taehyung began to slip into Jimin’s bed every night, not that he minded very much. Taehyung’s arm around him helped lull him to sleep, and waking up to his boyfriend’s cute face first thing in the morning always made him smile.
And if anyone thought the two boys were already close before they began dating, they were wrong. The two were now practically joined at the hip. When they both disappeared somewhere, it was known that they could be found doing something together.
During one of the group’s movie nights, Jimin and Taehyung claimed a couch together. Halfway through whatever superhero movie was playing, Taehyung got bored and started poking Jimin’s cheek. Jimin retaliated by aiming for Taehyung’s stomach, and the simple poking fest turned into a full blown tickle war.
“Can you two shut up for one second?” Namjoon glared at them exasperatedly. “Some of us are trying to watch the movie.”
“It was his fault!” both of them chimed simultaneously, pointing an accusing finger at each other. They looked at each other before dissolving into a fit of giggles.
“Shhhhhh Taehyung, Namjoon hyung’s going to kill us!” Jimin whisper shouted.
“Why don’t you be quiet?” Taehyung whisper shouted back.
Their attention was recaptured when Namjoon cleared his throat and gave them another hard look.
“He-” Taehyung opened his mouth, ready to protest, but was cut off when Jimin grabbed his face and pressed a kiss on his lips.
Jimin pulled back. “You need to learn when to shut up, Taehyungie.”
From the other side of the room, Yoongi groaned. “We get that you’re dating. Now can you stop rubbing it in our faces?”
“Don’t you want me to be healthy?” Jimin joked.
“You seem perfectly fine, if you ask me,” Yoongi grumbled in response. “I’m tired of seeing you two sucking off each other’s faces.”
Jimin pulled his boyfriend even closer and gave him another kiss, then turned to Yoongi and stuck out his tongue playfully. “Does this bother you, hyung?”
Their banter was interrupted when Jungkook abruptly rose from the couch. “Can you two stop? I’m really not in the mood.” he stalked away, irritation evident in every step.
“What’s gotten into him?” Jin’s brow wrinkled with worry.
“You know, know that you mention it, Jungkook has been moody lately,” Hobi remarked.
Yoongi rolled his eyes. “He’s a teenager. They’re all brats.”
“Maybe someone should check if he’s okay.” Jimin caught his lower lip between his teeth, then stood up. “You know what, I’ll go do it.”
He walked down the hallway, stopping in front of Namjoon and Jungkook’s shared bedroom. Jimin brought his hand up and rapped the door gently. A minute passed with no response. He gently twisted the doorknob, and the door opened without resistance. He found the maknae lying in bed, his head buried underneath a pillow.
“Gukkie.” Jimin approached the boy slowly. “Are you okay?”
“M’ fine,” came a muffled response. “Please just leave me alone.”
“You don’t sound fine,” Jimin countered. He tugged the pillow away from Jungkook’s grasp. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, hyung. I’m sorry for being so rude earlier. I’ve just been stressed lately.” Jungkook flashed a small smile.
“Okay,” Jimin nodded. “You know you can still tell me anything, right? Nothing’s changed between us. I’m getting better, so it doesn’t have to be awkward anymore.”
“Thanks, hyung,” Jungkook said in a soft voice.
Jimin stood up and extended a hand towards the other boy. “Come on. Let’s go back and watch the movie.”
“I think I’m just going to rest,” Jungkook rebuffed. “You should go back and enjoy the rest of the movie.”
“Okay, Gukkie. Remember what I said though. I mean it.” Jimin leaned over and ruffled Jungkook’s hair, laughing as the other boy swatted his hands away. “See you later.”
Jungkook heard the door close with a soft click. He stared up at the ceiling, thinking about the irony of his situation, wishing he didn’t feel this way.
December lifted everyone’s spirits, and there was lots of joy amongst the boys. The spirit of Christmas was in the air, and Jimin felt higher than he ever had before.
On Christmas Eve, the boys all decided to go to the big weeklong Christmas festival that was being held downtown in the city. It would be their first complete group outing since Jimin’s hospitalization, and everyone was looking forward to a fun night out.
They walked down the street and took in the sights. The city was beautifully illuminated at night. Fairy lights were strewn all over lampposts, wreaths and banners hung from buildings, and Christmas decorations were everywhere. The smell of food permeated the air, and the sidewalks were filled with people enjoying time with friends and family.
As they continued walking, Jimin looped one of his arms around Taehyung’s and leaned into his side. The boys talked loudly as they continued down the street and began squabbling over which rides they should go on first. Jimin tuned out the conversation, distracted by bright lights flashing in the corner of his eye. He glanced over and saw that the lights were from a ferris wheel, spinning slowly in the air. He tugged on Taehyung’s arm. “Tae, let’s go on that ride.”
“The ferris wheel?” Taehyung craned his neck, observing the ride. “Anyone else wanna come with us?”
The group began dividing themselves up into smaller units based on the ride they wanted to go on. Jin moved towards Taehyung and Jimin. “I’ll come with you guys.”
“”Kay then,” Yoongi said. “Have fun. Namjoon and Hobi are coming with me. We’re gonna go on a rollercoaster.”
“What about you Jungkook?” Namjoon asked.
“Come with us Jungkook!” Jimin grinned brightly. “We haven’t hung out in ages!”
“I guess I’ll go with Jimin hyung,” Jungkook shrugged.
“Good choice.” Jimin walked over to Jungkook and dragged him in the direction of the ferris wheel.
❀ ✿ ❀
Jimin sat patiently, waiting for the ride to begin its ascent. He shivered, burrowing further into his thick sweater. He scooted closer to Taehyung and snuggled up next to him. The couple were huddled together in a cozy capsule, contained in the ride by a cold metal bar. Jin and Jungkook were seated in a neighboring car.
The ride lurched to life, and Jimin felt himself rising into the air. As the ride went higher, he took in the sights around him. The people on the ground looked like ants, and the noisiness of the festival started to fade away. In the distance, Jimin could see the lights of buildings reflecting on the river nearby, causing the water to glitter brightly.
“Doesn’t it look amazing?” Jimin exclaimed, bubbling with excitement. He pointed at everything around them and began rambling about how amazing it was to see things from up top.
Taehyung smiled fondly at his boyfriend’s enthusiasm. “You’re cute when you’re excited Jiminie.”
Jimin blushed, still not accustomed to the compliments that taehyung gave him. He sometimes wondered why Taehyung had chosen him. Taehyung could’ve chosen to be with anyone else. After all, he was very popular due to his talent, good looks, and charming personality. Yet, he had fallen in love with Jimin, even the parts that Jimin despised about himself. Especially the parts that Jimin despised about himself. Gaining Taehyung’s friendship changed Jimin’s life in a positive way, but receiving Taehyung’s love had completely turned his life around in a matter of months. Jimin thinks he might even love Taehyung.
Oh. This was the moment that Jimin realized he was in love with Taehyung. His heart picked up the pace, beating faster, and he tried to work up the nerve to tell Taehyung how he felt. Taehyung often whispered “I love you” to him, but he never pressured Jimin into saying it back. Jimin was grateful during those times; he hadn’t been ready, not in the slightest, but he now found himself wanting to say it back.
He began to tremble more from nervousness than the cold winter air. When he looked at Taehyung, he forgot his mission for a minute, admiring how handsome the boy’s profile was. Jimin forced his trembling lips to part. “Taehyung…”
“Yeah?” Taehyung looked over at him expectantly.
“Taehyung...I- I love you,” Jimin blurted out, anxious about saying those three words for the
“You forgot the part where I said that yellow tulips also symbolize unrequited love,” Namjoon stated matter-of-factly.
“I’d rather focus on the positives, hyung.” Jimin grinned cheekily.
Jungkook cradled the delicate petals carefully in his hands.
Yellow tulips.
first time.
“...really?” Taehyung breathed out, his eyes wide.
“I love you,” Jimin repeated, feeling bolder. “I love you.”
Taehyung surged forward, kissing Jimin deeply. The smaller boy reciprocated, pulling Taehyung closer. When they parted, Jimin threw his arms widely into the air, shouting, “I love you Kim Taehyung!”
Taehyung followed suit, shouting out, “I love you Park Jimin!”
They looked at each other and burst into laughter.
“I think this is the best Christmas i’ve ever had,” Jimin breathed out.
“Shut up and kiss me,” was all Taehyung said in response.
Jimin happily obliged.
❀ ✿ ❀
“Things really worked out, didn’t they?” Jin smiled fondly and looked up. The two boys seated above them weren’t exactly quiet.
“I guess…” Jungkook mumbled, his gaze fixated on something in the distance.
“You know, Jungkook...” Jin paused, choosing his words carefully. “I know that something’s been bothering you lately. You don’t have to tell me what it is, but just know that I’m always willing to listen.”
“You don’t understand, hyung,” Jungkook sighed.
“I won’t pry, or pretend to understand what it is, but it’s going to be okay.” Jin placed a comforting arm around the young boy.
❀ ✿ ❀
The next morning, everyone unwrapped their gifts and admired the items that they received before scrambling to the kitchen in search of breakfast. As they ate together, Jungkook suddenly felt ill. He hastily stood up, bumping the dining table and scraping his chair along the floor in the process.
“Are you okay?” Six pairs of concerned eyes followed him.
“I’m fine,” Jungkook reassured them. “I just need to go to the bathroom.”
The chatter at the table picked up where it left off as he walked away. Once Jungkook was in the hallway, a safe distance away from the kitchen, he rested his forehead against a wall. He coughed roughly, his shoulders shaking. He tried to stay as quiet as possible, bringing a fist up to his mouth. He coughed again, and this time he could feel it creeping up his throat. He coughed one more time. At last, flower petals sprang from his mouth before gently floating down to the floor. When he knelt down to pick them up, a dark, mirthless chuckle slipped out when he recognized what flower they came from.
The interviewer motioned to Jimin. “What about you, Jimin? What flower would you be?”
Jimin paused for a moment. “Um, I think Rap Monster hyung told me before that yellow tulips stand for ‘sunshine in your smile.’ My eyes have a charm because they always seem like they’re smiling. I’ve always remembered what he said, so I would say yellow tulips.”