Work Text:
It was rare that Lisa was outside the hospital. She kept close to Betsy, always at her daughter's side.
Carla had not seen her since Lisa kicked her out, she knew however that sometimes Lisa picked up new clothes. It's not like Carla was at the flat either, she was hiding in the factory. Away from the memories, away from the pain she was telling herself.
She was in need of fresh clothes, which brought her to the flat and as she took the first steps towards their door she heard someone. As she looked up she saw Lisa just about to come down the stairs. Neither spoke, neither moved. It was as if the pause button was pressed. They just stared at one another.
“How you doing?” Lisa asked eventually as they stood opposite one another for more than just mere awkward seconds.
Carla couldn't help herself, a laugh escaped her lips.
“How I'm doing? You fucking kidding me right?,” she said with more venom than intended. Lisa shrugged awkwardly but Carla was seething.
“I have not slept in a proper bed for all but a week, have been worried sick about Betsy with not even a minor update on her from you. And have not been able to go ho… to the flat since you kicked me out the hospital,” Carla all but yelled taking a step with every statement.
“Why didn't you go home? I thought you were out the few times I've been there to grab stuff for Betsy,” Lisa said with an edge of concern.
“God Lisa, why are you being so difficult today. You kicked me out the hospital I went home and everything in the fucking flat reminded me of you and your daughter. I was suffocated just by being there. You managed to weasel your way in my life, in my heart, in my flat in a way no one has before. I have been through so much since living there and it always was my safe haven and there you come and manage something not even Peter has managed and I was fucking married to him,” Carla stepped closer as the words spilled out. She sounded more and more broken with every word she said. Lisa wanted to hug the brunette so bad, wanted to take back every word she said, every moment of pain she caused.
“I'm sorry,” she all but whispered.
“Screw you,” Carla said, tears freely rolling down her face. She held eye contact for a few moments more before she turned around ready to storm off, to lick her wounds in hiding, without Lisa to see, without anyone to see.
“Wait Carla,” Lisa all but whispered as she reached for the brunette's hand. She winced slightly at the contact, not just because Carla felt cold, colder than she'd ever felt but also because her wrist was slimmer than usual, almost fragile.
Carla stopped but did not turn.
“I know I fucked up, said things I shouldn't have, things I don't even believe myself. I was a coward,” she said and stepped closer to the brunette. Her front almost touching Carla's back. The brunette's smell engulfed her immediately. She could smell more perfume than usual, probably masking something no one was supposed to smell, she could smell the factory, a hint of wine but also something so distinctively Carla. Lisa dared to place her other hand on Carla's upper arm.
“I need you to believe me, that I didn't mean it. It's not your fault it never was. Rob got into my head and I spiralled. I blamed you for something that was out of your control, it's Rob's fault always has been,” she paused. They stood closer now but Lisa couldn't say if it was her leaning closer to the brunette or the other way round. She however took it as a sign to continue.
“I'm so sorry Carla, you of all people did not deserve it, you have been nothing but good, to not only me but also Betsy,” she whispered as she rested her forehead between Carla's shoulder blades.
“Can you… You think it's possible…,” she didn't know how to voice her next thoughts.
“Do you think we can fix this? Us?” Lisa eventually said, her voice breaking.
“I don't know,” the brunette replied. Finally turning around. Lisa sighed defeated but instead of running she lifted her head and looked at the brunette.
“I understand, but Carla I promise you. I will fight for you, for us, as long as you let me. I want this, you, us and I'll do everything to prove to you how sorry I am and how much I love and trust you,” she said. Carla saw determination in the blonde's eyes she hasn't seen for a very long time. She leaned her forehead against the blonde's.
“I want this too, but I need you to understand that you really hurt me. It scared me how easy it was for you to blame me, to push me away. It'll take time, I'll take time to heal, but I want us to fix it too,” Carla all but whispered.
“I love you,” Lisa whispered and dared to place her lips on Carla's who did not pull back nor reciprocate. Carla however lifted her arms and hugged the blonde tightly.
And for the first time since their fallout both felt like they could breath again.