Work Text:
Learning what Hua Cheng’s confession meant in full was a meandering thing. Hua Cheng had been active in the kink scene for ages but had no expectations for the way Xie Lian would act as his Dom besides what he’d come to expect in their time as friends. Meanwhile Xie Lian had only a theoretical understanding on sex and no real knowledge of kinks and BDSM beyond exaggerated stereotypes.
It meant things tended to come to them in what may have been odd order, but Xie Lian didn’t let himself get too caught up in worrying about that.
But there were things that you picked up when you visited a kink club as regularly as Xie Lian now did and questions that were probably rude to ask anyone besides his very knowledgeable partner.
“San Lang?” He asked as the two of them headed home for the night, the club finally quiet behind them.
“Hm?”
“What’s the point of a collar?”
Hua Cheng’s soft smile tinted with something more playful. “What does gege think the purpose is?”
“Well you collar dogs so that they won’t run off or will be returned if they do, but I don’t think a human needs something like that. Is it a pet play thing?” He was still learning all the terms, but pet play had come early when he’d asked one night about the person being led around the club on all fours.
“Not always. It can mean different things to different people.” Hua Cheng fingered his red thread idly as they walked.
It was a very little movement, but Xie Lian had been paying him close attention so he couldn’t help but focus in on it. Hua Cheng tended to touch the string a lot when he talked about their dynamic, sliding his thumb under his pointer finger to brush the sides as if to remind himself it was there.
“What are the more common reasons?”
“A way to show you belong to someone, I suppose. That you’re wanted enough to have been given that reminder that you’re owned.”
Xie Lian thought on that. Thought on Hua Cheng’s red thread. “So it’s like a friendship bracelet for kink.”
Hua Cheng’s expression became curiously amused in an instant. “How so?”
“I’ve told you about Banyue before right? Her and Pei Su had made these woven bracelets for each other and never took them off. The threads had gotten muted and pilled from how old they were, but she told me she felt less alone knowing he made it for her and wore it’s match.” Xie Lian’s smile went a bit sad. “She tried to make me one too, but you know I ended up having to leave quite suddenly so…”
Hua Cheng’s hand intertwined with his, his expression fond and sincere. “Gege’s so smart, that does sound like a good comparison.”
Xie Lian looked up at him. “If you had one, do you think you’d feel more wanted?”
“Gege doesn’t have to do things he doesn’t want.”
“And San Lang doesn’t have to say that every time I offer something. We’ve never done something I didn’t want too.” Feeling a bit guilty at a recent incident that would beg to differ, he added: “Except maybe go to the hospital.”
Hua Cheng’s gaze was on their path as they spoke about such emotional things, but his thumb stroked Xie Lian’s hand with unbroken affection. There was no hurry for his answer. His thoughtful pauses in matters of his own desires were important to give space. Slowly, it was becoming more apparent to him that Xie Lian liked spoiling him even beyond what their friendship had revealed, but Hua Cheng still became wary of finding the edge sometimes.
“I know gege didn’t tie it with any sort of intent, but I consider the red string one, so I don’t really mind not having a permanent collar. I know gege likes seeing me play with different accessories and I enjoy it too. Gege could claim any of my necklaces as a collar for the day and I’d enjoy it.”
“I tied the red string?” He furrowed his brow. “You already wore it when I met you again, though?”
Hua Cheng squeezed his hand, chuckling lightly. “When you made me promise to live. That’s where you tied my reminder to keep living for you.”
Xie Lian felt his face burn as it came back to him. It had actually been a hair ribbon, not a string, but looking back it was red and though he couldn’t remember which finger he’d tied up, if Hua Cheng said that was his right hand middle finger he was bound to be correct.
“I’m surprised you don’t still use the ribbon.”
“It started fraying so I swapped it out.”
Xie Lian nodded, face warm with the knowledge of how dedicated his San Lang was. “Could I have one too? To match?”
“Kinky friendship bracelets?” Hua Cheng grinned.
Xie Lian nodded, not meeting his eye.
“Of course,” Hua Cheng’s hip bumped his playfully, his voice mischievous, “Gege should hold the leash to my collar after all.”
The words sent an embarrassing spike of desire through him and, on the street with nothing to distract him from such devotion, Xie Lian started walking faster, dragging Hua Cheng along with him. The sound of his partner’s laughter rang in his ears until he got home to bury his heated face in a pillow.
***
Though Xie Lian knew Hua Cheng was honest about not needing a collar beyond the red string they now both wore on opposite hands, he couldn’t help but want to do more. Perhaps it was because Hua Cheng had talked about collars as though they were a reassurance of Xie Lian’s affection. Perhaps it was because thinking about a physical claim of ownership over Hua Cheng made his breath catch and his head spin until he was sitting dazed in a cold shower. Perhaps it was many things.
It was hard not to think about it though. Many people at the club wore collars after all. Xie Lian would be talking to a visitor casually and then find his eyes drawn to their collar and suddenly think about how Hua Cheng would look in that style. Inevitably all those conversations would be cut short with Xie Lian claiming to have lost something and wandering off in no particular direction to find it until Hua Cheng caught up to him and had Xie Lian staring at how nice the red thread looked around his finger. And inevitably then Xie Lian would calm down for some paradoxical reason, the fluttering in his stomach transforming from butterflies to a fighter’s adrenaline rush. A dragon coiling around his heart and quivering with pleased regality.
Anyways he wanted to make another.
And, thinking back to the friendship bracelets conversation and the material of Hua Cheng’s current “collar”, he’d thought it would be cute to make a friendship bracelet with their colors. White and red woven into a pretty match. It was simple, and it should’ve been easy. He could braid hair and tie knots after all, so it probably was the same principle right?
So why did he have a pile of knots even after his third night skipping going to the club to work on it?
Sighing, he set about untangling Hua Cheng’s pilfered embroidery thread again, frowning as hours of work went back to their natural state (minus a few unfortunate casualties that had had to be cut and trashed). At this rate, he’d end up taking months just to end up with a terrible mess of an attempt. No doubt Hua Cheng would love it, but there was a limit to what Xie Lian could bear to see the man do for him.
It seemed friendship bracelets just weren’t meant to be.
***
Giving up on friendship bracelets hadn’t meant Xie Lian stopped thinking about collars though. He still found himself staring at Hua Cheng’s hands entirely too much during sex and idly thinking about how different styles would look on Hua Cheng. Yet none of the ones he saw in the vendor’s area ever looked right.
It wasn’t until Hua Cheng was sat in their living room, stitching white leather by hand that Xie Lian realized he had the perfect solution: he could just make a leather collar.
Though his friendship bracelet had gone poorly, Xie Lian knew from experience that he could work with leather so long as he had all the materials. It was just it had been a long time since he’d had access to those materials. Evidently though, Hua Cheng had decided Xie Lian needed a full white leather outfit with golden hardware and no one else would make it well enough. And so their home now contained all the bevelers, skivers, hole punchers, setters, and stamping tools Xie Lian could want.
He just had to make the perfect design.
“What’s gege thinking about?” Hua Cheng asked as he tugged neat stitches into place with a focused expression.
“San Lang’s style.”
“Oh?” Hua Cheng looked up.
“En. You’re very fashionable.”
“Is your highness fishing for a fashion show again?” Hua Cheng purred, his focus melting from his craft to Xie Lian in an instant.
Trying to hide his smile, Xie Lian shook his head. “Later. Keep working for now.”
Gaze full of joy, Hua Cheng obeyed. “Did gege have questions about my style?”
“Not really. It just suits you and I was realizing it’s because you make a lot of your outfits from scratch.”
“Not completely from scratch. It used to be that I just modified things a bit. I grew up with a lot of secondhand clothes so decorating or mending was more common. It saves time to modify a tshirt rather than make it from scratch so I still do that sometimes.”
“You could’ve been a professional tailor.”
Hua Cheng shrugged. “I don’t like making things for other people. I’m not interested in using fashion to tell someone else’s story.”
Xie Lian didn’t need to ask to understand why he didn’t count as “other people”. As he planned out the collar in his head, he thought for once he understood it more than ever.
***
He hadn’t wanted Hua Cheng to see what he was making, but it was inevitable that Hua Cheng knew he was up to something when he once again insisted Hua Cheng go to the club without him for no particular reason.
A full outfit in leather was a project that took multiple sittings and multiple fittings— fittings that Hua Cheng had very much used to shamelessly flirt during every measurement.
What Xie Lian was making was simpler though. He could finally finish it tonight. It didn’t need to fit the various curves of a body, it was just straight lines and decoration.
That didn’t stop it from being a bit nerve wracking.
Still, looking at the leather he’d etched with designs over the course of stolen pockets the last two weeks and had dyed red in a secretive flurry the day before, there was excitement there too.
One strip for the collar, its measurements guessed based on Xie Lian’s not so sly measuring with his hands. (Hua Cheng had absolutely noticed him circling his throat and had had absolutely no shame in asking if Xie Lian was going to try choking him. It was unclear if that misunderstanding or his declaration that Xie Lian’s hands could be his permanent collar if Xie Lian just held him like that forever was worse, but the second one had definitely been the one that made his eyes nearly water in surprise as his throat dried up so he tried not to think about it too much.)
One strip for the leash, its measurements decided after some online research about what was average and some visual research on how far away they usually stood. (Hua Cheng hadn’t noticed that one, or at least hadn’t teased him if he had. Xie Lian suspected Hua Cheng would say his leash should be only a centimeter long if asked, to keep them as close as possible. This of course was impractical, so Xie Lian wasn’t going to even consider his beloved’s preference there.)
It was soothing work to hammer the D-ring into place. To slip on the buckle. To fit the padding of the collar just right so that Hua Cheng would feel comfortable. To pull tight stitches through the holes (though that part had admittedly been the most difficult).
It was not all soothing though.
His heart raced as he fitted the spirit lock Hua Cheng kept unattached to anything in his jewelry box into the middle of the collar. It was perhaps overstepping to take it, when he knew it was a token Hua Cheng cared about even if he never did anything with it. But he could remember Hua Cheng’s expression years ago when he’d explained its significance. A protective gift from his mother when he was a baby.
Xie Lian wanted this collar to be something that protected him. Something that expressed him too. The etchings that had been endlessly considered were also part of Xie Lian’s attempt at telling the stories Hua Cheng’s outfits so often contained. He did not know all the symbols of Hua Cheng’s heritage. He did not know all the code Hua Cheng had made for himself. But he knew his San Lang.
His San Lang was the butterflies of creation. Xie Lian was the flower he always came back to. His San Lang was all heart. Xie Lian found they had that in common, though perhaps others may not realize it. His San Lang was flexible and soft shapes interspersed with harsh edges. Xie Lian found his own sharp flexibility a good match.
The etchings looked prominent against the red leather with the silver foil filling in every etched section. It made Xie Lian’s attempt at the story of them feel clumsy with too much love.
But when it was done, it was everything he had imagined it to be for better or worse.
The clock promised Hua Cheng would be home soon, so after tidying up, Xie Lian simply waited on their couch, staring at his work feeling as though he was holding his heart itself.
The click of the door caught his throat.
“Gege, I’m home,” Hua Cheng came straight for him, stopping when he noticed what Xie Lian was holding.
“It’s not for every day. I thought. Some people have play collars, right? And so our string can be the permanent one but I just really thought you deserved… I really wanted you to have…” the words felt heavy on his tongue as Hua Cheng crouched in front of him.
Crouched, Xie Lian realized, because it made him the perfect height for Xie Lian to put the collar on him.
He couldn’t meet Hua Cheng’s eye, but he did find at least his tongue loosened as he fastened the collar.
“I know I have many marks on you with your red thread and your tattoo, and I’ve done a lot of thinking about what else I could do without disturbing your sense of style. I know you would dress only how I asked if I wanted that, but seeing you express your stories and your beauty through your outfits is one of my joys, so I couldn’t give that up either. You don’t wear much when we’re in bed though so I’ve been thinking perhaps that’s the right time for this.
“I don’t have the same skill for storytelling as you do, but it’s something I made because I want you, and I want you to know that I want you. More than that, I think I rather like seeing that you want me back enough to wear such things. So when you’re done with your jewelry, I wanted you to have this. Not as a replacement, but as another expression of yourself and of our relationship.”
Xie Lian met Hua Cheng’s dazzled gaze, shy as he clipped on the leash. “This part I made for me. So our story would connect.”
“Your highness…”
Xie Lian felt the dragon squeezing his heart fill him with strength at the blatant pride in Hua Cheng’s gaze.
Fear always seemed to melt away when this man’s gaze was on him. Xie Lian really didn’t know how he got so lucky.
Giving a gentle tug of the leash that was still too slack for Hua Cheng to even feel, Xie Lian found himself with a full lap and an overflowing heart. As he melted into kisses, he wondered how he’d forgotten the most crucial part of their story: together, they were always home.