Work Text:
I hate you. But in reality.. I don’t. I never did.
Shadow milks POV:
As per usual I went to my locker dropping my things off, ignoring the photo I had of… him, in there. Walking into class I gave a usual bored sigh. Where was the target of my torturous bullying today? ’Seriously, where is he? There’s no one else to poke fun at if that idiot isn’t here.’ I thought resting my chin on my hand boredom clear in my features. Then suddenly I saw movement. Target spotted. Pure vanilla was attempting to sneak through the classroom with a tense expression. Oh how I loved the look of fear, it brought me joy, monumental joy. I giggled picking up a handful of pencils. ”Oh nillyyy! Can you see this!?” I yelled in delight as I chucked them right at his head.
Pure vanillas POV:
I flinched at the sudden sound of his voice and suddenly, WHACK! The pencils hit my head… little did I know this was only the beginning, and wasn’t his worst. His reason? I requested to be his friend. Seriously… ”Nilly! Guess what I threw! Cmon! Guess!” Was all I heard from shadow milk no apology, no trace of guilt, just someone who strove to torment me. I rubbed the back of my head, this was just the start. Over the duration of the weeks he shoved me into puddles or the fountains in school. I still needed new books… and new glasses. He stole my lunch, and even my new friends. Rumors were spread as well. ’I want to understand why.. I want to know what I’ve done simply to trigger him.’ I thought to myself in sorrow. When suddenly my glasses were snatched. ”Oh nilly! I’ve got your glasses! Don’t I look so good with them onn?” Shadow milk again. He was gleefully laughing as he showed them around to everyone, they were all laughing.. of course they were. ’I’m tired, I can’t see. Just leave me alone.’ I looked up at the blurry figure that was shadow milk. ”Oh no yknow what? You could really use a new pair nilly! I can help with that. Watch me.” He said grinning from ear to ear.
”I won’t stand for this! We keep having to replace his glasses! Five months this has happened! They haven’t done anything, this school is an embarrassment!” The voice of my mother rang in my ears as I suddenly snapped.
Shadow milks POV:
I had his glasses on grinning when suddenly pure vanilla got up. I stopped raising an eyebrow. Just as quick as I had he practically launched at me a hot pain shot through my face and I collided with the ground. ”Ow- you little-” another slap. I kicked him slapping him back as I wriggled under him. Eventually teachers tore us apart. Somewhere there his glasses had been broken. Again.
And just like that he was getting transferred and I knew I’d be in trouble next week. I walked into my house immediately seeing my mother with a scowl on her face. ”Your school called me…” she said in a low and angry voice. I was already starting to brace myself. SLAP! Hot pain shot through my face, for probably the third time today. ”You foolish child! The fact that someone had to transfer because of you disgusts me!” I slowly brought my hands to my ears blanking out at the yelling. ’stop… my head hurts. Please.’ I didn’t get fed that night. Want the first occasion anyway.
School wasn’t much better. The attention turned to me. Water was dumped on me, my desk was ruined by slurs. One afternoon in particular. ”You brought this upon yourself you freak.” Black sapphire snapped coldly with a glare. I stared up at him from the fountain with a blank horrified look. My things… they were ruined. I sat there for a moment as he walked away before getting up grabbing only what I cared for before walking away. ’I resent you. I resent what I’ve brought upon myself.’ I thought in fury.
One year later
I stood in class, I used to be the classes most favored poet and now… all I rambled about for my poem was my resentment. ”I resent you for the smile you set… I still hate-” the teacher dared to interrupt me. ”Alright shadow milk that’s enough we’ll try again next class.”
Later that day I held a not staring down at it. One sentence stood out the most. Well two actually. ’Talk to vanilla’ and ’end it.’ I refuse to say sorry to him. I thought stubbornly.
I stood in the elevator rambling to myself when suddenly… pure vanilla stepped in.
Pure vanillas POV:
At first I didn’t recognize the thin figure beside me. All I know is he had helped me in. ”Thank you for helping me in, floor 1 right? I take it as you are leaving too?” I asked tilting my head to face him with a warm smile. My eyebrows raised in surprise when he didn’t respond. Even more so when he suddenly said: ”wow! Look it’s open do that means it’s time for me to go!” Suddenly.. I recognized him. Poor thing was thin and pale as could be, but he knew that haunting voice anywhere. ’is…he…’ I thought to myself. ”I gotta get home! I have a lot to do today so goodbye!” Shadow milk said attempting to scramble off. ”hey! I know you need to get home, but… could you walk me halfway down the hall? Sorry for any trouble..” I suddenly called out to him. Maybe he’d changed.
”Fine.. come on..” shadow milk responded with a dull look back. I frowned, it’s easy to tell that he wants me out of the way.. he sounds so tired.. what had happened to him?
Shadow milks POV:
My legs hurt, hell, everything hurt. But I guess I could at least walk with him.. ”you took me out quite far, didn’t I say halfway down the hall? But anyway thank you,” shit. ”Shadow milk.” I froze. How did he..? I’m the idiot I guess.. pure vanillas face hardened. ”Do you really think of me as a foo!? Still!? It has been a year and you still think the same!” He snapped, how dare he. My face contorted in fury. ”What!? Oh! So you pulled me over to make me a fool!” I snapped scowling. ”I can’t believe I almost said sorry! I’ve been doing everything to get you, NOW! I remember why I hate you!” He yelled at waving his hands angrily. I hate you. I hate you.
Pure vanilla seemed more interested in.. wait- his paper- ”hey I think you lost this, I can’t tell if it-” before he could finish I yanked it away with a look of pure hatred. ”Give me that.” I said practically scrunching up the paper to a pulp. ”Did you read that!? Did you see that too!? I bet you can see everything, CANT YOU!?” I screamed pointing at him. My heart was thumping loudly in my ribcage. HATE, HATE.
”Aren’t you gonna talk? Be mad.” I snapped. Part of me could still feel the sting of his slap last year, I wanted, no, deserved it again. Pure vanilla was looking at me in shock and almost horror his eyes open for once until… ”I think I understand… you’re just lonely right? Shadow milk,” ugh I hated it, I hated how sweet he sounded I hated that smile. ”I’d be glad to welcome you with open arms.” Fury. It consumed my thoughts, it consumed every part of me. ”Curse you..” I said under my breath. ”You know nothing. You are NOTHING.” I said practically spitting the last part. ”I RESENT YOU!” I yelled everything blurring around me as suddenly in a fit of rage I shoved him.. a sickening thud followed after my eyes widening in horror, what have I done..?
I pushed him down a few stairs… I ended up getting him help cuz of guilt. I worked hard during classes, I made him a note. It’s all professional… I guess… maybe he’ll like it… I put it in braille, considering that he can’t see. Improvement, right? I even got you flowers. White lilies is your favorite right? I mean… you like her. Yo be honest with you… I guess I’m sorry. Maybe I’m only saying it now because if I’m gone there won’t be anything to be stubborn over.
Pure vanillas POV:
Tears welled in my eyes as I stared at the note in horror. ”No…I…” my hands shook, I could’ve been his friend… he shouldn’t have done this. I felt genuine pain in my chest as I grasped the bandages around my chest.
Shadow milk my dearest.. your voice is so close.. yet so far.
Shadow milks POV:
The breeze blew through my hair with dull look.
Pure vanillas how could I accept you? Your soul is so bright..
Would you wait for me in another life?..