Chapter Text
“Skibidi rizz, Sensei!”
I paused for a moment, as I took in the words that I just heard come out of Sakurako’s mouth.
“...what?”
“Skibidi rizz, Sensei! You…” Taking a book out of her pocket, she rapidly flipped through a few pages, before going “Ah!” on a page. “Ohio rizzler! You really mewed that sussy baka!”
I stared at Sakurako, my mouth gaping open as I took in the words that she just said. For a moment, I felt my brain functions cease as it froze from the word-slurry that just came out of the absolute last person I thought who would say those words.
Before my mind could catch up, my body had moved, putting its arms on her shoulders and looking into her eyes, as it felt her forehead to forehead.
A bright blush overcame her as our heads made contact. “S-Sensei?! Uh… w-what are you-“
“No fever,” I muttered. “Eyes perfectly normal, so… Sakurako, did you hit your head?”
“…what?”
“That must be it, right? You hit your head on something, and now you can’t help but say these words.” My grip on her shoulders tightened as she looked at me in disbelief. “Don’t worry, we’ll get through this together!”
Her arms started flailing about as she pushed me away from her, her face showing confusion as she looked in my eyes. “Wait, Sensei, what do you mean by that? Did I say something wrong? I was just saying what Kirara taught me-”
“Hold. Who taught you that?” My befuddlement was covered by the name mentioned. “Kirara? I didn’t know the two of you knew each other.”
Her mouth opened into an ‘O’. “That’s right, I did not tell you about that, did I?” She clapped her hands. “Yes, we have been having quite good conversations. She is quite well versed on the slang that people use nowadays, and she has been teaching it to me so I can communicate better with my fellow Sisterhood members.”
My thoughts ran around unorganised as I took in the information Sakurako was giving me. She knew Kirara? Well, Kirara was a sweetheart, so of course she would get along with Sakurako - and the sisterhood was one of the more accepting organisations in Trinity even considering the animosity between them and Gehenna - why the hell was Kirara teaching Sakurako these things?
I settled on that thought for now, and as my face blanched, I looked past Sakurako. “Kirara taught you?”
“Yo~ Teach! What’s up!”
I saw a pink harbinger of doom enter the room as I stood there, fearing what was to come.
She did not disappoint.
“So like, no cap, I was walking down the street when this wannabe main character - like, for real! He was acting like one, yeah, and then he walked up to me like a wannabe sigma, trying to looksmaxx on me, so I just put on my best face and walked away! It was hilarious how that guy kept trying to mog me, you know, so in the end I ended up talking with him for a bit and we traded tips on how to up our rizz!” She talked all at one go, to the point where I was amazed at how she was doing that - when did she breathe?
Sadly, I was too busy taking mental damage to appreciate it. As dramatically as I could, I stumbled back, and back, and back, until I fell into my chair. “Oh, woe be unto me, is this how I shalt pass?!”
“Sensei?!” “Hahaha, that's real funny!”
The two contrasting reactions to my acting once again showed me why Trinity was a much more pleasant place than Gehenna, and faux-dusting off the dust from where I fell, I pouted at Kirara. “You know, you could’ve reacted more nicely.”
“It’s pretty hard when you’re always acting like that, teach!” She giggled, before sitting down on the couch. “Anyways, whassup Sakkie! Didn’t know you were coming round to help out Teach!” Her eyes sparkled as she took in Sakurako’s appearance. “Wait, are you using that lip gloss I recced you? Eeeeeee! I knew it would make up your fit ! Oh wait, I just bought this nail polish that would totally fit with that! You’ll totes be looksmaxxing after this! Your drip will be amazing!”
I bit back the blood that threatened to leave my body. It’s just how the young folks speak, no need to be an old man about it… Just have a glass of water and calm the nerves…
“Oh hey, teach, did you hear about that new thing the Pandemonium Society is doing? I heard they’re getting some more of those statues up! I think Makoto is jelqing a bit too hard, but that's what edgers do huh?”
I spit my water all over the keyboard.
This would not stand.
The room was dark, with the only source of light being the table lamp that was now angled onto the suspects face. I tipped down my fedora, trying to look as menacing as I could, while I stared down with Kirara, who was sitting in a folding chair trying her best not to laugh.
“Now, Miss Yozakura, we just need you to tell us your source, and we can let you go.” I gestured to Sakurako, who like me was now dressed in a trench coat with a fedora, and looking completely lost. “I like to think that I’m a very reasonable person, especially compared to my friend over here. So, just work with us and reveal who taught you this slang, and we can let you go… don’t work with us, and we’ll have to do this the hard way.”
With what were either fake tears or tears of laughter, Kirara was playing along gamely, putting on a determined face as she defiantly responded. “No way, I won't ever give in to the powers that be! You can take the skibidi from me, but never the sigma!”
I slump as the verbal assault took its toll on my will to continue, and with a sigh I took out a clipboard. “That’s another charge of assault on a public servant, miss.” I ignored Kirara’s protests as I wrote a bit of nonsense on the blank piece of paper, continuing afterwards: “So who’s the dealer? You’re already looking at a good long period of public service, but if you rat your dealer out we can cut a deal.”
I accentuated what I was saying with a tip-tap of my pen on the clipboard, which was the last straw for Kirara as she broke.
“Hahahahaha!”
I watched as Kirara broke down into a laughing fit before following her stead, as I could no longer hold my composure in awe of the pure silliness at what we were doing.
Sakurako watched us with mild amusement, while also being completely lost.
“Alright, teach! You wanted to meet the ‘mastermind’,” she air-quoted the word, “then let's go to Gehenna! Ya coming, Sakkie?”
Sakurako opened her mouth, before cringing. “I don’t think it would be very appropriate as the leader of the Sisterhood to enter Gehenna without a formal notice, so I will have to pass.”
“Alright then! Bye Sakkie!”
I followed Kirara out of the office as we left Sakurako alone in the office.
Then we walked as fast as we could before she realised we left her alone with all the work, trading mischievous smiles the whole way.
Sakurako would catch on to what we pulled, and scolded us later, but it wouldn’t take away our smiles. We made sure the next time we ran away from work, we took her with us.