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Xeno had never been afraid of the dark. He found fears and anxiety to things of that nature to be foolish and illogical. There was a basis to nyctophobia, a trait passed down from modern man’s caveman ancestors, but in the twenty-first century, Xeno found no need to be afraid of anything. What reason does man have to be afraid when they have science as a tool to combat it?
But even though there was logical reasoning behind it and he had no reason to fear, Xeno had begun to be afraid of the dark after awakening from the petrification. He didn’t notice it at first as he was too busy trying to survive and too exhausted to let it disturb his sleep. His anxiety didn’t start until their colony had begun to establish itself. The lack of worry about survival allowed other fears to creep into Xeno’s mind.
It wasn’t a consistent fear, however. When Xeno didn’t pull all-nighters and actually got a full-night’s rest, he didn’t have any issues. Unfortunately, there were only so many hours in a day and if Xeno wanted things to run smoother, he had to put in some extra hours. But running on only a couple hours of sleep short-circuited his brain, causing him to be more on edge than usual. Xeno’s anxiety only prevented him from sleeping even more. This propelled him into an endless cycle of fear, restlessness, and sleep deprivation.
The darkness reminded him of his petrification. Thousands of years trapped in darkness, unseeing, with only his thoughts to keep him company. Time seemed to pass differently when Xeno was petrified, but that didn’t erase the many millennia of nothingness he had endured. Not being able to see his surroundings unnerved him. Every time Xeno shut his eyes for too long, whether that be closing them to concentrate or laying down to sleep, a sense of dread loomed over him before he had no choice but to open his eyes.
At first, it was just a general fear of the dark, but it had seemed to progress to more imaginative territory. His fear had transformed, making him think that there was danger lurking in the deep shadows of the castle. Xeno was always on edge, afraid to look over his shoulder in fear of what he might see. Every unusual sound made in the night caused him to freeze up and become hypervigilant. There was nothing there. He knew there was nothing there, but that didn’t stop his hair from standing up on end.
It was another late night for Xeno, one in a series of many. He was caught in another loop, only able to sleep when he got too exhausted to stay awake or when he was in the safety of the daylight. Xeno was up in his observatory, trying to distract himself from it all by working on a couple of blueprints he was drawing up for reinventions. He had hoped that being under the moon and stars would lighten the atmosphere both literally and figuratively, but they could only provide him so much comfort.
The familiar feeling crept up on him again. That overwhelming sense of dread and the feeling that he was being watched. The illumination of the moon and the lamp he brought with him did little to help. If anything, the dim lighting they provided only worsened the ambience. They only served as a reminder that there was space behind him in the room that the light could not reach and whatever it was that his mind imagined was there was lurking in that darkness, waiting for him.
Xeno’s anxiety was eating at him, but he tried to keep his focus on his work. That’s when he began to hear the taps. At the first tap, his stomach dropped as he tightened the grip he had on his pencil, tensing with fear. He thought maybe it was just a one-off, perhaps just the building settling into place, but the taps continued and Xeno was too nervous to turn around and see what was causing the noise.
The taps got closer and closer and louder and louder until Xeno recognized them as approaching footsteps that padded on the sleek floor of the observatory. Xeno shut his eyes, breathing heavily as if to prepare himself for whatever it was that was coming for him.
A hand tapped his shoulder. “Yo, Xe.”
It took everything in Xeno’s power to not yelp. He nearly jumped out of his skin, his entire body jolting from his pent up nerves. He finally looked over his shoulder and locked eyes with Stanley. He breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh, hello, Stan,” Xeno breathed shakily. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.”
Stanley looked down at him curiously. “Have you slept?” he asked. “You look like death warmed over.”
“Thank you, Stan,” Xeno said sarcastically. “That means a lot coming from you.”
“Not sleeping, huh?” Stanley said. “Letting your nerves get the better of you again.”
As if Xeno could hide anything from Stanley. “Observant as ever,” he smirked wryly.
“Come on,” Stanley beckoned, holding his hand out to him.
Xeno looked at his hand, then back up at him. “What?”
“No more work for tonight,” he said. “You’re getting some sleep whether you like it or not.”
“It’s fine, Stan. Really. As soon as I’m done with this sketch—“
“You can draw your heart out tomorrow. We’ll sit up all night if we have to, but you gotta quit it for now.”
Xeno quirked an eyebrow. “We?”
“What’re you, French?” Stanley joked. “Yes, we. Now c’mon.”
Xeno didn’t protest. As much as the thought of trying to lay down and go to sleep perturbed him, he had to admit that Stanley was right. He needed to end this cycle and it seemed like Stanley had a solution to his predicament, anyhow. Xeno trusted him.
He put his pencil down and left his mess of paper, tools, and utensils on the floor, knowing that no one would come up to the observatory and disturb them. He took Stanley’s hand and allowed him to pull him up. Stanley didn’t let go of his hand as he began to lead Xeno through the castle toward Xeno’s bedroom.
The castle was bone-chilling after dark. The amber light of the lamps casted shadows around the industrial looking rooms, giving an eerie feel to them. In the state Xeno was in, he wouldn’t dare walk around the castle by himself, but being with Stanley and holding his hand helped him feel more grounded. He always felt safer when Stanley was around, so it was only natural that he would find it easier to navigate the dark with Stanley at his side.
Once they reached Xeno’s bedroom and the door was shut behind them, Stanley kicked off his boots, placed his gloves and cigarettes on Xeno’s nightstand, and laid down on his bed. Stanley lifted the covers, hopped into bed, and wiggled underneath in an attempt to get comfortable.
Xeno snorted. “What are you doing?” he asked amusingly.
“Getting ready for bed?” Stanley said like it was obvious. “Are you coming or what?”
Xeno had no reason to say no. If anything, being that close to Stanley seemed was appealing to him. And if Stanley was offering it up to him on a silver platter, then why not?
He followed Stanley’s lead, taking his shoes off and shrugging off his coat before joining Stanley. As soon as he laid down, Stanley snuffed out the lamp that illuminated the room and pulled Xeno into his arms. “This okay?” Stanley asked.
“Fine,” Xeno answered plainly, his words slightly muffled by Stanley’s chest.
It was more than fine. He could already feel himself relaxing and being lulled to sleep from the warmth blossoming off of Stanley. Even in pitch darkness, Xeno felt more calm than he had experienced since awakening and beginning his cycle of restlessness. He imagined that if he went to bed like this every night, he would never have trouble sleeping ever again.
Stanley intertwined their legs, hooking his own over Xeno’s until their bodies were more flushed together. “Good. Go to sleep,” Stanley ordered him, a tinge of playfulness to his tone. He held Xeno tight against him almost as if he needed this just as much as Xeno did.
“Goodnight, Stan,” Xeno said in a hushed tone as he buried himself deeper into Stanley’s hold. He held onto him and gently shut his eyes, his eyelids heavy as his exhaustion seemed to hit him all at once. The dark nothingness consumed his vision, disturbing him slightly, but at least he wasn’t doing it alone.