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It was not fair for Changmin to pull the promise card on him, five months after the breakup.
"Come on, Juyeon-ah! We made a promise!" He had been screaming like this as soon as Juyeon had picked up the call, but only (mostly) due to panic.
It’s quite baffling how Changmin thinks he can just dial him whenever he seems fit, without considering the fact that they haven't seen and talked to each other since they broke up.
And to casually scream at him, no less: " There's a bug in the apartment!"
Juyeon didn't even have the chance to process that he's talking to the very person he has been trying to get over - still trying to get over - as he groans in disbelief, "Changmin, you gotta be kidding me."
But he did promise him, and it was the kind that went both ways. Which means, if Juyeon ever finds himself in a life threatening situation such as an unforeseen bug attack in the middle of the night, he can freely call Changmin up because quote and quote, 'they owe each other'.
What Changmin failed to understand is that the promise was only made to seal the deal of their breakup, like some kind of closure. Like if it was a question, it would be rhetorical. Like if they tested this out in a lie detector machine, it would come out as a lie.
Maybe it's on Juyeon for trusting that Changmin wouldn't take the promise literally, it was a mutual breakup after all, but Changmin has always been one to take words to heart.
Promises, even more so.
Juyeon doesn't know how long it took for him to eventually heave in resignation – to him, it felt like ages, but that might only be the alcohol messing with his consciousness of time. (In reality, it only took him a few seconds.)
" Fine . Just- stay there, okay? I'll be there in ten."
"Thank you! But hurry, please.”
Changmin’s urgency is so uncalled for that he almost finds it cute. There’s no other way to describe it. Juyeon chuckles, and just- as the warmth creeps over and about his entire being, he-well, shit .
He realizes just how much he missed him.
A brisk clearing of throat snaps him back to the present moment and he sits upright, regaining his composure. Across him, Chanhee and Sunwoo send him knowing glances.
Two pairs of eyes are too powerful for a half-sober Juyeon to overcome, and the weight of their looks makes him drop the call in haste without a proper goodbye.
"I have to go."
"What-?" Chanhee gets on his feet, making to stop him just as Juyeon pushes off his chair. "But weren't you the one who dragged us in here?"
By in here , he means the Pojangmacha , a tented wagon which sells street food and drinks.
"Yeah, well." Juyeon glances at the bottles of soju that the trio had initially planned to finish together as he shrugs his coat on. "There's an emergency."
"Emergency…" Chanhee trails off, tone indicating that he's nowhere near buying the excuse. Sunwoo, on the other hand, quirks an eyebrow in his direction. "You were just giggling into the phone. Was that the emergency or is that another-"
"Can't talk, gotta go!" Juyeon doesn't stick around to hear any more of their protests and inquiries. He waves when he's almost at the exit, "You two enjoy the rest of the night!"
In the first few seconds of trudging on to the parking space, Juyeon believes he's sober enough to drive. Then he stumbles on his feet not only once, not twice, but thrice and realizes he may not be cut out for it tonight.
"Fuck."
And so he settles for a cab, surprised at himself when his mouth moves out of his volition, asking the driver if he can get him to the destination quickly.
That's just the alcohol talking.
It makes sense, really, that a huge chunk of this courage can only be brought by the liquor because Juyeon's almost sure that he wouldn't be found hurrying to his ex's apartment if it were any other day.
And perhaps the other tiny bit that trails off pathetically after this liquor courage is just Juyeon's own longing. The little part of what's left of his feelings for Changmin.
His thoughts fray at that instant – you're only gonna make that little feeling grow back, idiot!
But no, he's not adhering to Changmin's request to water the withering plant that is his feelings. He's doing this for the promise.
Yeah, the promise, and nothing else.
Nothing else.
Juyeon formulates in his mind all the possible scenarios that might play out as soon as he'd step into Changmin's apartment. For exes who haven't seen each other since the breakup and are now about to for the most ridiculous reason, the possibilities are endless.
"Juyeon, thank god. What kept you?"
There isn't enough time to pull himself together, or to assess the whole situation overall. The only thing that his mind can seem to grasp is that Changmin had his hair cut, probably the shortest he's ever had, and Juyeon doesn't get the chance to put this into introspection when Changmin grabs him by the arm and pulls him inside.
This is definitely not one of the possibilities Juyeon had formulated. He had been expecting at least a tinge of awkwardness. Maybe a "How are you?", or a "Thanks for coming." or a short silence where he and Changmin would stare at each other while time slows down and birds sing, and one of them would clear their throat and they'd get snapped back to reality.
Yet, here they are.
He lets Changmin drag him towards the scene of the crime, arm burning right through his clothes where the other is touching him.
"It's under the sink!"
Changmin steps back and sticks himself close to the wall, urging Juyeon forward. There are all sorts of stuff scattered about the floor and the counter – a slipper, a sneaker, an insect repellant spray ("I ran out!" Changmin exclaims when Juyeon made to grab it.), and Changmin's most prized lightsaber, etc. etc.
Amused, Juyeon turns his head to the frightened man behind him, "You really think a lightsaber collectible can kill a bug?"
It's obvious how Changmin composes his expression in defense, then seems to make up his mind that it doesn't really matter after everything as he admits, "I panicked."
Juyeon hides the smile that threatened to creep on his face by turning away from him, bending down the sink to find the bug.
If he's honest, Juyeon's frightened of bugs too, but between him and Changmin, he had always been the bug catcher in their relationship. When it comes to Changmin, a sense of courage spurs out of him, one that he doesn't even realize he had in him all along.
A whole moment where there's only the sound of clattering and shuffling and Changmin flinching every now and then and Juyeon being overly conscious of his back, praying, wishing that he looks decent enough before his ex. (How one can look decent by pathetically bending down a sink with a slipper in their hand is beyond anyone.)
And because Juyeon is too focused on appearing decent, plus the fact that he's trying to overcome the lingering side effect that the alcohol is dealing with his train of thoughts and unfocused eyesight, he misses the bug when it whizzes past him.
Changmin lets out an ear splitting scream, and suddenly there are a lot of movements around as Juyeon scrambles to chase the bug while Changmin runs for his life.
It is more challenging considering the situation, considering his condition, but he gets there all the same – Juyeon catches the bug, slaps it down with Changmin's slipper.
He stares at the insect's lifeless motionless form, half-apologetic half-grateful, and the world, which had crumbled amidst the chaos just seconds ago, slowly pieces back together.
The adrenaline subsides, the light headache comes back, and he's overly aware of the time (almost midnight) and of his location right now.
He hears Changmin burst into a muffled sob, and while this may seem like an overreaction, Juyeon knows he tends to get emotional whenever he comes into close contact with any kind of bug.
He takes a few seconds to look at him, finally getting the chance for the first time that night, heart lurching at the realization that the scene doesn't stray that far off from the one he had gotten used to in the past. It's as if it's still them. Him and Changmin, like nothing ever happened at all. Except things did happen, and so much has changed since then. Delving into this familiar and nostalgic scene, Juyeon knows that he can't just walk up to him and pull him into his arms like he used to anymore.
"Relax, the bug's dead."
Changmin only drops his head in response, letting out an audible sniff.
It's time for him to leave. He had carried out the request just as he's asked and there really isn't any other reason for him to stick around.
Then he remembers the bug on the floor, realizes that it can still pass as a major threat, can make Changmin cry all night long if it doesn't disappear out of his sight, so Juyeon takes it upon himself to dispose of the carcass, cleaning the floor while he's at it, then proceeds to sanitize himself after.
When he walks out of the bathroom, he notices the mess around the living room. Changmin isn't necessarily a messy person, but in comparison to clean-freak Juyeon, he becomes one in comparison.
He clicks his tongue in disapproval. "Jesus, do you even tidy up around here?" He calls loud enough for his voice to reach the kitchen where Changmin still is. To his disappointment, he doesn't receive any kind of response.
Juyeon picks a hoodie off the floor, turns it over to the front, holds it up, wonders briefly why it feels familiar to the touch, then his mind does this series of whirring and ticking before he eventually realizes that that the hoodie is his . Just one of the stuff that had started off as his alone, then ended up becoming theirs at some point.
Ignoring the lurch in his chest, Juyeon folds it up neatly and places it on the armrest of the couch. He picks up a couple of snack bags littering about, and dusts off the throw pillows. In reality, Changmin never comes off as a messy person, Juyeon's just finding excuses to stay a while longer.
There's more mess to tidy up in the kitchen, he remembers, and he heads back with a slight spring in his step, more eager than he likes to show.
Changmin hasn't moved from his spot, and he sends a glance in Juyeon's direction when he reappears, their eyes meeting just a fraction before Changmin looks away again.
Juyeon can't ignore the dampness around his eyes. "Hey," He starts gently, "Hey, it's okay. It's gone now."
Maybe it's best to leave Changmin to himself for a moment, so he gives him his time to collect himself as Juyeon hastily sets everything aside, placing them all back to where he last remembers it being placed to the best of his memory.
The last piece he picks up is the dish towel, and he hesitates for a second when he realizes that Changmin is blocking its usual spot on the counter. The aforementioned man has dropped his head back down, shoulders slightly shaking.
With a sigh, Juyeon gathers up the courage to take a step towards him. Then another. Closer. Closer until he can reach over and place the towel on the counter behind him. He catches a whiff of Changmin's familiar scent as their chests brush in the slightest, and Juyeon has to fight the urge to wrap his arms around him.
As soon as his fingers let go of the towel, Juyeon straightens up, but he doesn't step back to put some space between them.
To his confusion and utmost concern, Changmin's cries have worsened, and Juyeon racks his brain for the possible reason and a way to placate him.
"Changmin-ah, hey. Stop crying. The bug's gone now." With a much softer voice, he adds, "I'm here."
It never crossed his mind that the reason for Changmin's continued emotional outburst is Juyeon himself.
"I missed you."
Juyeon thinks he must have misheard it with Changmin mumbling in between sobs and labored breaths. As if reading his mind, he repeats the same words, louder, clearer, "I miss you.”
A sniff. “So much."
Juyeon leans into him again, wrapping his arms around him this time.
Changmin melts into him instantly, and Juyeon can only hope that he doesn't pick up on his heartbeat racing, or the way his breath catches in his throat when Changmin squeezes back.
A part of his shoulder is getting damp with the other's tears, but Juyeon can't find himself to care, running a hand over Changmin's back to calm him down.
"Me too." He whispers, doesn't care if the other hears the words or not, then proceeds to nuzzle his face in the crook of Changmin's neck as his cheeks burn up.
It is Changmin who breaks the silence after a moment, thanking the other for coming over despite the time and everything.
"Hey, don't mention it. It was the perfect timing anyway. I can only hope those two get drunk enough to blurt out their feelings to one another."
It's getting kind of tiring, playing cupid for Chanhee and Sunwoo.
They relapse into silence once again before Changmin gently pulls away from the embrace, brows knitting into a slight frown, "You were out drinking?"
And Juyeon remembers stupidly that the other has no idea what or who he is referring to. He doesn't even know that Juyeon had found himself a new job shortly after their separation. If he can, he would have brought the topic up already but he doesn't know how to insert that into the conversation without making it more awkward than it already is.
"Uh, yeah."
He has the inclination to add, ' With some coworkers.', getting the urge to be defensive.
But before he can utter the words out, Changmin beats him into speaking, asking, "And you drove all the way here?"
"Oh no, I took a cab."
His face relaxes, then Changmin releases a sigh while subtly melting back into Juyeon's arms – which he hasn't brought down yet, still wrapped loosely around the other's sides.
"Sorry for interrupting-"
"Changmin, it's okay. You can just make it up to me next time. I think there's a huge spider in my closet somewhere."
Changmin groans, shoves him away playfully, and Juyeon decides it's probably best to step away now.
Changmin heads towards the fridge, "Do you want something to drink?"
"What do you have?"
Juyeon shouldn't be staying. He knows he shouldn't be staying. But he figures it wouldn't hurt to stick around and find out what Changmin has to offer, and later decide if it's worth it.
He watches as Changmin's face falls after scanning the contents of the fridge, then takes out a pitcher of ice cold water.
"This is all I have."
Juyeon grins widely, realizing Changmin hasn't changed one bit since the last time he has seen him. He still can't be trusted with grocery shopping.
Even if he has changed though, Juyeon doesn't think that'll affect the way he sees him.
And even if he has wine or cola or tea or just ice cold water, Juyeon's decision would still be the same whatever way.
He smiles, he thinks it is the first time that night, "Just what I wanted."
— Juyeon still would have stayed.
(Juyeon didn't cry in front of him, but his heart broke just as much watching as the tears fell on Changmin's face.
For what he thought was the last time, Juyeon took his hand in his, clasping it around in a gentle manner.
"If you need anything, please don't hesitate to call me."
"You mean that?"
"Yes."
Changmin swallows the lump in his throat, nodding, "Okay. Me too." He places his free hand over Juyeon's and for a moment, he wonders if they're making the right decision – breaking up.
"I'll be here when you need me." Changmin breaks out into a small smile, sad but beautiful.
"I promise.")