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There’s a splash of red sticking out of her bag. Callie quickly stuffs the dress back in deeper so that it’s out of sight. It turns out that she needn’t have worried – the house is empty when they return. Her mom is probably running an errand or whatever it is she does all day. Still, it gives her a little thrill to walk into the house knowing it’s there. That, and she’s getting to spend time with Lottie which she knows is the total opposite of what her mom wants. Weirdly, this reminds her of when she used to sneak around with Kyle.
“You should try it on,” Lottie says. “The dress.”
Callie goes to her bedroom to change. The dress fits her perfectly. It’s also clearly more expensive than her entire wardrobe put together. There’s no way in hell she’s going to be able to explain to her parents how she got it. In fact, she thinks as she turns to study her reflection, this is probably the only time she’ll ever get to wear it.
She jumps as she catches a glimpse of Lottie in the mirror, standing in the bedroom doorway.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Do you like it?” She looks up hopefully at Lottie.
Lottie stands behind her and smooths out a crease just over Callie’s hip.
“There,” she says. “Perfect.”
Callie feels a warm glow spread through her. Lottie’s hands settle lightly on her bare shoulders. Goosepimples form as her fingertips brush up and down her arms.
“Are you cold?”
Callie shakes her head. She catches sight of herself in the mirror and tries to look more casual and less like a rabbit in the headlights.
“So, do you steal clothes a lot?”
“I used to.” Lottie smiles fondly, like she’s remembering something.
“Did mom ever…?”
“No, I don’t think so.” Lottie closes the gap between them, pressing against her. “What do you want Callie?”
She isn’t sure what to say. There are several possible answers swirling around in her head, but she eventually settles on one. “I want to know.”
“We’re all seeking knowledge. It depends if we’re ready to deal with what we find out.”
“I’m ready.”
“Breathe in for me Callie.”
Her hand slides down to move across Callie’s stomach. Callie does as she is told, taking a deep breath, trying to stop herself from trembling as she feels the warmth from Lottie’s hand through the dress.
“And out.”
Callie lets out a gasp.
“Do you do this with your cult?” she asks nervously.
“Is there something else you’d like to ask me? A real question.” Lottie’s voice is low in her ear. Callie tries to form a coherent thought. There’s a lot depending on her answer, she can tell, and she has to get it right.
“That night in the woods, you said I was powerful. What did you mean?”
Lottie looks pleased with her, which makes her think she has passed the test.
“Would you like to find out?”
--
“You know you don’t have to do this,” Lottie says as she hands her a mug.
“I want to,” Callie assures her. Right now, she’s pretty sure Lottie could persuade her to do anything. It tastes bitter – in fact it is completely gross - but she gulps down the contents anyway, basking in Lottie’s approving smile.
Callie lies back against her pillows. She’s still wearing the dress. She doesn’t want to take it off yet and besides it feels…ceremonial somehow.
At first Lottie’s tea seems no different to weed. Actually, it doesn’t seem to be having any kind of effect on her at all. At least she thinks it doesn’t, until she looks up and sees the reds and blues on the poster above her bed swirling and blurring together. Callie sinks down into the bed covers and it’s like she’s floating. According to Lottie this is supposed to help her communicate with It. She always says It with a capital I. Whatever the hell It is. Still, this is more than Mom ever told her. She tries and fails to stop a giggle escaping. She’s dimly aware of Lottie next to her on the bed.
There are voices. They move around her, undistinguishable. Her skin prickles. The sound gets louder, it’s almost like a moan or a howl. It’s not real, it’s just a hallucination, she thinks. It still gives her the creeps though.
It’s just her and Lottie here in the room, she knows that for sure, but now suddenly it’s like there are eyes everywhere watching. She feels completely unprotected, the dress barely covering her. Her breathing becomes more rapid as she starts to panic. There’s nowhere for her to hide. Everyone – she can’t see who, but she knows they’re there – is looking at her.
It’s just a bad trip she tells herself as she grits her teeth. She reaches out and finds Lottie’s hand. She grasps it, her palms sweaty.
“It’s ok,” Lottie whispers in her ear.
The noise gets worse, there’s something that sounds like wood splitting, then a low moan that vibrates through her. Her throat is tight, she tries to swallow, her mouth dry.
“It’s alright Callie. I’m right here.”
She can feel Lottie’s arms wrapping around her and she clings on to her. Lottie strokes her hair, the motion calming her a little. Breathe in, breathe out, she thinks as she closes her eyes.
When she opens them again, the room is empty aside from her and Lottie. Whatever it was is no longer with them. If this was what mom experienced out there then no wonder she’s a basket case. The colors still seem bright, her dress in particular looks a very vivid red. It’s ridden up, leaving her thighs exposed.
“Perhaps we shouldn’t have done this,” Lottie says quietly as she wipes away a tear, her thumb lingering on Callie’s cheek.
“No, it’s okay,” Callie mumbles, “Just don’t tell mom.”
Her lips brush over the side of Lottie’s neck. It’s probably the drugs but she feels bolder than before.
“I felt it,” she whispers before kissing her.
“Good. I’m glad.” Lottie looks so proud of her. “I’ve got something else for you. I’d like you to wear it.”
She takes out a gold necklace – a heart. Callie lets her place it around her neck, wondering what exactly it means. Every time she thinks she has answers there are always more questions.
“You’ll understand,” Lottie says, as if she’s read her mind.
“I felt it,” she says again, as her hands tangle in Lottie’s hair as she kisses her a second time and pulls her closer.