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“How’s it feel?”
Silver wasn’t really expecting to go on this long, if he was completely frank. Thankfully, he wasn’t Frank, he was Silver. Sitting in the bathtub of a hotel, a shower curtain pulled in around his small corner. Towel resting over his shoulders, Silver held his phone in his hands. Eighteen. Less fingers and toes than he had still, sure, but still a big number.
It wasn’t even necessarily the lack of having gone off the deep end of his mental spirals over the years that shocked him, or the fact that he didn’t get erased from the timelines in any of his fixes, or that he wasn’t killed in the countless battles, it was just… making it and still feeling like himself. Though, he supposed if his eight year old self could see him now, he’d probably be shocked to find him transitioned.
[Ping!]
Silver’s ear flicked, quills standing on end as he opened his phone. As he smoothed his chest fur over his torso, hiding himself from… mostly himself if he was honest, he found a smile betraying his melancholy mood as he saw his collection of messages.
[ Love you, Silv’! ]
[ Happy Birthday Silver. ]
[ Happy B-Day Silver! ]
[ Ur older now, conga-rats 🐀🎉]
[ I’ll get your gift tomorrow! They’re out of stock. ]
[ Congrats !1!!1! What kind of cake do you want??? ]
[ See you today at the cafe? ]
Even if every message was regurgitated, he wouldn’t care. It meant the world to him to hear that even if he didn’t value himself very highly, he had people who did. Clicking his phone off, staring his reflection in the face, he didn’t feel like he was disgusting. He felt… numb. Which was the closest he’d get to being happy in his flesh.
[Ping!]
[ Happy Birthday to my dearest future GrandDaughter. ]
Silver didn’t really care at this point. He was in a good mood now. Lifting himself up out of the long emptied bath, he’d shiver as the cold air of the hotel bit into his skin. Flexing his lanky body out of the bath, he’d rock his body to an imaginary rhythm. The mirror stared at him, and Silver stared back with just an ounce of self loathing. The rest of him compelled him to flex like an idiot and grin.
It was easier to ignore everything when he was alone with his mentally sound self, rather than the ill side.
[Ping]
[ Happy Birthday, Silver. I’m proud of you for getting here. Marine says Happy Birthday as well. ]
Sometimes, it just mattered that he did enough. Just enough.