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The two months of summer break seemed to have left as soon as they arrived, and September marked the beginning of the same kind of drudgery to be expected of a brand new school year. This was the exact case for y/n, who was starting their senior year at Eltingville High School. They’d just gotten back from eating lunch by themself and they’d already gotten through most of their classes of the day, so now they had to get through one more class before they could finally leave.
y/n found their way to their final class pretty easily. They had gotten there fairly early, so they took a seat near the back that'd be easy for them to get to and minutes later, the rest of their classmates came rushing in. They spent those first few minutes doodling aimlessly in one of their notebooks, not paying much attention to everyone else coming in, until one of the last people came in. He took a seat right next to them, since it was one of the only ones left available.
y/n looked up from their drawings just to get a good look at him. He was pretty short, probably a few inches shorter than themself. He had on a large, dark blue hoodie, a Resident Evil t-shirt, and a pair of worn blue jeans. All of it looked pretty big on him. Most notably was the red baseball cap that he wore backwards, leaving some of his dark hair sticking out from the front.
His sneakers and backpack were pretty old and beat up looking too. His bag had a few scribbles in sharpie on it, and a good handful of pins and keychains dedicated to different horror movies and such.
y/n actually recognized the boy as Peter DiNunzio, a weird Italian boy that hung out with a few other nerdy guys at the school. They had them in a few other classes in their previous years at EHS, but they never spoke to each other outside of him asking them for a pencil or something.
Pete noticed y/n’s staring and narrowed his eyes at them and scowled. “You need somethin’?”
y/n just looked at Pete's shirt for a bit longer. "I like your shirt."
The shirt itself had a pretty simple design. It was the Resident Evil 4 logo vertically, with a photo of Leon holding his handgun out.
Pete glanced down at his chest and back up at y/n with his eyebrow raised. “You… Play Resident Evil..?” he asked.
y/n nodded. “Uh.. Yeah. Is that, like.. a bad thing..?”
Pete rolled his eyes. “No.. I just.. I didn’t expect you to be into that kinda shit. ‘Cause you’re like… Y’know.. A chick.” Pete squinted at y/n and sized them up. “You.. are a chick, right..?”
“Yeah, man,” y/n sighed.
“I mean, I didn’t mean it, like… Like, it’s not that you don’t look like a chick, s’just… Most of the ones I've met aren’t really into that. I mean, video games ‘n shit.”
y/n cracked a small smile at Pete’s desperate backtracking, and generally awkward demeanor. “Well no offense, but.. How many girls do you usually talk to, exactly?”
Pete glared at y/n and folded his arms on his desk. “Plenty.”
y/n’s smile became a quiet laugh. “I wasn’t trying to make fun of you. You just… Don’t really come off as that kinda guy. It’s not a bad thing,” they snickered.
Some of the tension from Pete dissipated and he kept his gaze fixed on his desk, focusing on one of the many crude doodles in the corner. He wasn’t all too used to anyone being particularly ‘nice’ to him, much less a girl, especially if that girl seemed to share some common interests with him.
Pete didn’t say anything else to them for a bit, too embarrassed by y/n’s unexpected kindness to reciprocate, or even shoot back with another sarcastic comment.
Instead, y/n continued the conversation. They felt a bit guilty for seemingly making Pete feel bad or uncomfortable, so they cleared their throat and made a point to steer the topic towards something more approachable. Or at least, as approachable as you could get with a guy like Pete. “So… Are you, like.. Into any other video games besides Resident Evil?” they asked.
Pete glanced back at y/n, his interest piqued even more. “Well, duh,” he scoffed. “I only have a PlayStation 2 and an SNES, but I’ve got uh.. Both Parasite Eves, some Castlevania games, all three Silent Hills…”
“Do you only have horror games?”
Pete rolled his eyes at their question. “No..” He thought to himself for a moment. “I’ve got a few Bomber Man games for Nintendo.”
They both spent the remaining time in their shortened class talking back and forth about their favorite games, from the soundtracks, to random cheat codes they found out about while reading about them in different game guides.
Before they knew it, the bell ending this class had rung and it was time for everyone to head home. Everyone was scooping up their backpacks from under and beside their desks, and eagerly exiting the classroom.
Pete eyed y/n with a nervous look and fiddled with the drawstrings of his hoodie absentmindedly. “So, uh.. Do you walk home?”
y/n looked back at Pete as they pulled their backpack over their shoulder. “Nah, I have to take the bus. Why?”
Pete’s face reddened and he scratched the back of his neck. “Uh, no reason…”
They walked together out to the side of the school where the buses lined up. y/n spotted their own bus and waved at Pete before leaving. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Pete’s eyes widened at their proposal and an excited grin spread across his face as he nodded. “Hell yeah, for sure! I’ll see you tomorrow!’
As he walked along the cracked and dirty sidewalk, Pete was unusually excited and wore a smile that he couldn’t seem to wipe off his face. The whole time, he was just thinking about y/n and the time they spent together that day, even if it was short lived. He never felt this way about any other girls, at least not any real ones. That could probably be attributed to him not actually interacting with any girls his age since grade school, but that didn’t matter to him.
What mattered was that a girl tolerated him, and even better, she was cool. She knew about video games, loved them, and she understood references he made to different movies and comics.
As far as Pete was concerned, there was no other girl like y/n.
Weeks passed, and both y/n and Pete found themselves getting closer with each other. During their shared class together, they’d pass small notes to each other in between working on their assignments, and he’d complain to them about the club and his dad over the phone and at their house.
Any time he wasn’t with his friends in the club, he’d be at y/n’s house watching a movie. It was either from one of their respective collections, or something one of them rented from a library or video store. He never had y/n over at his own house, though. As much as he wanted to show off all of the different collectibles and horror paraphernalia he had decorating his bedroom, he was also way too embarrassed to have a girl come over and have to deal with all of his family’s humiliating responses to that whole situation.
At some point in late October, y/n actually met Pete’s other friends in the club while they were talking before school. They stood together at the end of a flight of stairs, talking about the latest Saw movie that was supposed to come out in theaters in about a week.
They were in the middle of talking about the trailer when they heard footsteps coming towards them. They paused their conversation mid-way to look up and see Bill, Josh, and Jerry all standing in front of them. Josh and Jerry both looked tired, but that wasn’t too surprising considering it was still early in the morning. But on the contrary, Bill just looked pissed.
“What the hell is this??” Bill motioned to y/n as he spoke. “Is this why you’ve been late to meetings?”
y/n just stood next to Pete awkwardly, glancing between him and his friends as Bill confronted the both of them. Josh and Jerry avoided making direct eye contact with them, but they both seemed just as uncomfortable by the situation as y/n was at that moment. Pete glared at Bill and shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. “Fuck off, man. It’s not that big of a deal.”
Bill’s jaw dropped a bit upon hearing Pete’s dismissive response but continued to dish out more insults. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you in front of your skank girlfriend,” he sneered.
Bill then looked right at y/n with a smug expression. “How much is he paying you, huh? Is it just for you to be near him, or does he have you get his rocks off too?”
At this point, Pete was enraged, and Bill’s words just made his face go red hot with anger and embarrassment. He stepped up to Bill and got in his face as much as he could, despite barely measuring up to his shoulders. “She ain’t my girlfriend! And she ain’t a skank, neither!”
Seeing things begin to escalate into screaming, y/n decided to step in to try and get Pete to exit the conversation. “Pete, c’mon. It isn’t worth it.”
Pete was still glaring at Bill, but he finally agreed with a begrudging, “fine”.
As they both walked away from Bill, y/n turned around to look at him and shot him a glare. Bill just flipped them off and kept on yelling at them.
“Fine then, leave! She’s probably given you crabs and shit by now anyways!! I hope a warm mouth makes up for syphilis!”
Pete and y/n walked upstairs together and hid out in an empty hallway before their classes began, with only a handful of people passing by. Pete’s face was still red with embarrassment, and for once, he really seemed to not want to talk about what was bothering him.
y/n picked up on Pete’s discomfort and took it upon themself to make the first move. “So… I know I ask you about this a lot, but now that I’ve actually met them.. Really, why do you still hang out with those assholes?”
Pete groaned and stared down at the scuffed up tile floors of the hall.
“Jesus, I… Look, I told ya, it’s complicated, a’right?? I just.. I’ve known ‘em forever now, and.. I mean, what am I s’posed to do, just drop 'em outta nowhere?”
“Yeah, I.. I know,” y/n sighed. A smile forced its way onto their face as they thought more about the events prior. “It was really cool of you to like, stand up for me back there. So uh.. Thanks.”
Pete rolled his eyes, but he still smiled back at them. “Don’t think too hard about it now, I talk back to that fuck any chance I get. ‘Sides, wasn’t even true anyways. You’re not a skank. You’re like.. You’re different from the other chicks here, y’know?”
y/n snickered at Pete’s reasoning. “Right, right. And I’m not your girlfriend either. That accusation is the most embarrassing part of this for you, right?”
Pete’s face flushed and he blinked as he processed y/n’s implication. “Shit, no, that’s not, uh.. I didn’t mean it’d be like, embarrassing for me, I-I don't care-”
y/n cut Pete off with a laugh. “Dude, I’m just messing with you. I know that the suggestion of us dating isn’t what bothered you, I’m not an idiot,” y/n chuckled.
Pete shoved y/n as payback and folded his arms as he seemed to shrink back into his jacket. He was still embarrassed, but to a much lesser extent since it was just y/n poking fun at him this time around. “Ha ha, very funny, you got me.” He spoke sarcastically, but there was no real bite to his words.
They both leaned against the wall in a shared silence. Pete snuck glances at y/n every now and again, silently working up the courage to keep the conversation going in a similar direction. “So.. Are you, like.. You weren’t embarrassed by it either, right? I mean, I get if you were about the skank thing, but.. Were ya, like, offended that he thought you were my girlfriend?”
y/n raised an eyebrow at Pete’s question and shook their head. “What? Dude no, of course not. I mean, yeah, I was kinda surprised, but not offended. Why would I be offended if people thought we were dating?”
Pete shrugged. “I dunno, I mean.. Look at me. I’m short, I got acne all over, I’m crude, and most people think it’s weird how into horror I am. I ain’t exactly the typa’ guy girls wanna take home.“
“Sure, but…. That doesn’t really matter. Like yeah, maybe you don’t fit the mold of like, a sexy boy band kind of guy, but so what? Those guys are lame and boring anyways, why would you wanna be like them? You’re.. You, y’know? I know it sounds dumb and cheesy, but things like your height, sense of humor, and your passion for everything horror related.. That’s what makes you special.”
As if Pete wasn’t awestruck enough by y/n’s words, they continued.“And hey, for what it’s worth, I think it’d be awesome to date a guy like you.”
Pete’s eyes were wide, his mouth was slightly agape, and his face was tinted a deep red. Not only did y/n just finish up complimenting things he thought were embarrassing about himself, but they ended their little monologue by telling him how cool they think it’d be to date someone like him.
“H-hold up, are you trying ta’ tell me that you.. You’d actually wanna date me?? You’re not just fuckin’ with me again?” Pete mentally kicked himself for stuttering as at the beginning of his sentence.
“I dunno. Would you?”
“You… You first…”
y/n tilted their head and looked at Pete with a smile. “Yeah. I’d really like to date you.”
Pete’s face got even redder, and he could hear his heartbeat echo in his chest. He quickly nodded in response before forcing out something to say. “Me too…” His voice shook as he spoke.
y/n’s face was getting a bit red too, but they seemed to be keeping their cool way better than Pete was. “Sooo… You wanna, like… Start going out?”
Pete nodded slowly and croaked out words of confirmation. “Yeah…” He cleared his throat quickly before repeating himself in a purposefully deeper, more confident voice. “Yes. Yeah. For sure.”
A smile forced its way across y/n’s face and they smoothed out their clothes instinctively. “Well, uh.. Cool then.” They glanced at a clock mounted on the wall to check the time. “I should, um.. I mean, we both should like, get to class right about now.”
Pete held the back of his neck and nodded, avoiding eye contact with y/n as much as he could. “Yeah, yeah..”
They both waved goodbye, but before they went off to their respective classes, Pete shouted, “Wait, uh.. You… You wanna hang out at your place? Like, after school, I mean?”
y/n turned around and smiled. “Yeah, that sounds great.”
Since then, the two began to go steady. Despite the new labels they had for each other and their relationship, not much really changed between them. They still spent about the same amount of time together, and depending on whether it was in private, around school, or in public, neither of them ever did anything more than hold hands. The main difference in their dynamic was just that now, they’d do a bad job trying to make out with each other in y/n’s bedroom in addition to watching some dumb movie one of them had rented. They’d even been able to spend time together at Pete’s place now, as he eventually caved and brought them over to his house to show off his “cool girlfriend" to the rest of his family.
About five months after they officially began dating, it became common for both of them to drop by each others’ houses unannounced. They’d have to take the city bus to get to either of their neighborhoods, but it was worth it if it meant they could just hang out a little more than usual. Normally, they didn’t do this for any reason deeper than just wanting to spend some time together. But for once, y/n felt an actual need to go over and see him. To really talk to him about something that’s been eating at them.
Once they got off the bus, they took the short walk in Pete’s neighborhood from their stop to his house. They ended up reaching his place in less than ten minutes. The building wasn’t in horrible condition, but you could tell just by looking at it that it was a little worse for wear. A lot of shingles on the roof were misplaced or gone entirely, and a few broken windows had to be patched up with paper bags and duct tape. The grass in the front yard was dead, and accompanying it were a few tires placed haphazardly and an old bicycle that seemed to be stuck in the chain-link fence that bordered the house next door. In the driveway, there were two cars. One was a faded red truck with the hood popped open and an assortment of tools in a bag on the ground next to it. The one next to it looked a bit newer, and was significantly smaller in comparison to the truck.
After knocking on the front door, y/n could hear the muffled sounds of a dog barking, and some unintelligible shouts, both in English and Italian.
A little after it quieted down inside, they heard locks on the other side of the door be undone before it opened up, revealing one of Pete’s older brothers. y/n knew all of his brothers’ names at this point, but they always seemed to struggle placing a name to a face. But based on his looks, y/n was pretty sure that this was Rodney, Pete’s fourth-oldest brother at about twenty-three years old. He looked down at y/n before calling out for Pete in his room. “Pete! Get out here, y’lady-friend's in the front!”
Shortly after, Pete came rushing around the corner of the hallway to the house entry. Rodney walked away from the young couple and went off to the garage to take care of his own business. Pete leaned against the door frame as he caught his breath from running, and y/n still stood on the unkempt porch.
Pete cleared his throat. “So, uh.. What’s up?”
“Can.. Can we go to your room first?”
Pete nodded and motioned for y/n to follow them. “Yeah, for sure.”
They both sat down next to each other on Pete’s messy bed.
“So… What’s the deal? Yer bein’ all quiet, and it’s kinda freakin’ me out.” Pete snickered a bit as he spoke, but there was still a flash of panic and worry in his eyes. “You didn’t, like.. Come over just to break up with me, did’ja?”
y/n’s eyes widened at Pete’s suggestion and they shook their head in disagreement. “No, no way, of course not!”
“And none of that ‘take a break’ shit either, right?”
y/n cracked a small smile. “Pete, I’m not breaking up with you.”
Pete still looked at them with his eyes still narrowed in playful suspicion, and a smile of his own creeped onto his face. “Alright, okay, I believe ya.. What’s goin’ on then?”
While avoiding maintaining direct eye contact with Pete, y/n focused their attention onto the old shag carpet floor that reeked of cigarette smoke. y/n breathed in and sighed. “I… I don’t really know how exactly to say this… And.. I’m not even totally sure what it means, but…”
y/n let out another shaky sigh as they spoke. “I… I don’t really.. Like.. Feel like a girl….” Their gaze was still fixed on the floor, too terrified to face Pete head on after their admission.
Pete, on the other hand, just stared at their fidgeting form. He felt like he had a good idea of exactly what they meant, but still felt the need to push further on the subject. “Uh… What uh.. What d’ya mean by that..?”
y/n groaned to themself as they hunched over even more on the edge of the mattress and buried their face in their hands. “I just.. I don’t even know! Sometimes, I just.. I look at myself, and.. And I think about everything I’m supposed to do, everything I’m supposed to be… It’s so suffocating, and.. It doesn’t feel like me, I guess…”
y/n could feel tears well up in the corners of their eyes, but they just blinked them back and continued. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me… But… I know I can’t keep living like this. I can’t be what I’m supposed to be, and… I can’t be the girl that you want. I can’t be any kind of girl at all.”
This was the first genuinely serious kind of conversation that either of them ever had to navigate together. Even during other ones that seemed even slightly as dire as this one, y/n was always able to keep their cool, and that’s how they always thought they’d be. But this time, they were way too vulnerable to be able to process everything like they normally would. Instead, they just said anything they could think of to justify the current situation and tried their best to keep themself together in front of him.
"And I just… This isn’t, like… I'm... I'm not…” y/n struggled to find the right words to explain themself with, as if they were trying to convince themself that this was just a short feeling. But instead, they found themself coming to a blank, unable to keep up with their own thoughts and just stopping entirely to stare at their bedroom floor, letting out uneven breaths.
Pete was rather caught off guard by y/n’s sudden defense, and raised his hands up to his own chest, as some way to calm them down. “Hey, uh… It’s- It’s fine, I ain’t mad, I just.. C’mon, just.. Just calm down, and you can, like… We can talk about it, or.. Somethin’, just.. Please don’t cry…”
It wasn't the first time Pete found himself having to comfort someone before. He’s had to console his kid sister plenty of times before now, but that never seemed to make moments when he had to any easier. Even if it did, this wasn’t a little kid crying over a broken toy or a scrape on the knee. This was a seventeen-year-old that seemed to be going through something that he couldn’t even begin to understand.
y/n wiped away their tears with the backs of their hands and Pete offered them some tissues from the box he always kept on his bedside table. In any other circumstance, they’d crack an immature joke at Pete’s expense, or act all grossed out just at the sight of the box on the nightstand. But they could barely muster a knowing grin at him. They felt so hollow , but overstimulated all at the same time. Like they’d purged their entire soul just for Pete to see, and yet, they still felt like there was so much left they had to tell him.
“I’m sorry…” y/n sniffled.
“I told ya, s’fine.”
Pete cleared his throat. “So uh… You’re like…” He thought about his next words carefully and bit his tongue to stop himself from potentially saying something stupid. “You… You think you’re a guy or somethin’?”
y/n responded with a weak shrug of their shoulders. “I.. I guess? I mean, that’s all that’s left, right?” They sighed.
Pete nodded in understanding. “Right, right..” There was a short bout of silence between them for a moment, before he asked, “Does.. Does that make me gay?”
That actually caused a small smile to creep onto y/n’s face. It wasn’t enough to make them laugh or anything, but at the very least, It pulled them out of their head for a moment. “Yeah, I think so.”
y/n’s smile left as soon as it appeared. “Are.. Are you okay with that..?”
Pete nodded slowly. “Yeah.. I mean, it's.. It's a little weird, like, for me, but.. I wouldn’t mind. I still like you.”
“What I’m tryin’ to say is.. If I’m gonna be gay for anyone, it’s gonna be you.” He looked like he was thinking to himself about something before following up with, “Or like, Seth Green. But I only really think he’s hot when he’s all zombied out, y’know?”
y/n snickered and wiped away the last of the tears from their stained cheeks. They stayed seated next to each other without saying anything for a while. The room was almost completely silent, aside from the rattling of the radiator beneath his bedroom window and some vague yelling sounds that came from the living room.
The silence they shared in the moment wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable like it normally was. It felt natural, and almost warm. They’d both said everything they needed to, and there seemed to be this air of mutual understanding between the two of them.
“So,” Pete started. “If you wanna be a guy, I guess that means.. You’d wanna look like one too, right?”
“Yeah.. Like, as far as looks, I kinda just want bigger clothes and shorter hair. I mean, obviously there's other stuff I wanna change, but those are just the easier, more immediate things.”
Pete tried holding back a smirk that played on his lips, but to no avail. “Well… I don’t think you should trust me with around yer hair with scissors, but.. I’ve got plenty of clothes you can borrow..”
“Seriously? You’d be cool with that?”
“Totally. I mean, sharing is caring and all that. Besides, that’s gotta be one of the perks of being a gay guy. You can borrow yer awesome boyfriend’s clothes whenever you want.”
“I.. I really appreciate that.. Thanks, man.” y/n smiled at Pete before leaning in to place a chaste peck on his cheek.
Pete’s face went red at the contact and a bashful grin creeped across his lips. “Ah, it’s nothin’...” He hopped off of his bed and knelt in front of his crooked wooden dresser. He dug through the disorganized drawers of old, unfolded pants and t-shirts for something he’d want to see his newly christened “not-girl friend” in. Soon after, he found a clothing combination he seemed to have liked enough.
Pete sat down next to them again with a small pile of clothes cradled in his arms. “Here. Y’can wear these. I think you’ll look great in ‘em.”
y/n took the clothes for themself a sorted through Pete’s selection. “Do you want me to like… Put them on right now?”
“Yeah, go ahead. I’ll look the other way, I promise,” Pete smirked.
“Why? I don’t mind if you just see me change real quick, it’s not like I’m getting naked.”
“I know that. I just wan’ it to be a surprise when you’re all done.”
y/n rolled their eyes and snickered. “Okay, okay.. I’m gonna start changing then, so you should probably turn around now if you still wanna be surprised.”
Pete grinned at y/n before he turned around to face the wall behind his bed. He rocked back and forth a bit with excitement as he waited.
After a few minutes of waiting on Pete's part, y/n was done. “Alright, uh.. You can look now.” He spun around with an immeasurable quickness, and his eyes widened at the sight before him.
There y/n was, standing at the foot of Pete’s bed wearing his clothes. The only remnants of who they used to be were sprawled out and discarded on the bedroom floor beneath them, as if it were a retired skin.
The outfit was pretty simple, all things considered. They had on a pair of worn out blue jeans that looked to have been through hell. The pants didn’t have any rips in the knees, but there was a pretty noticeable hole next to the seam in the crotch area, and the back of the bottom hems had clearly been stepped all over. They almost looked like they’d been chewed on. On top, they wore Pete’s House of 1000 Corpses t-shirt that Pete ordered with the little mailing bill that came with his DVD copy of the movie. Both articles did well to conceal their curves underneath the fabric.
“So.. What do you think?” y/n held their arms out from their torso and turned around a few times to let Pete get every detail of their borrowed ensemble.
For a moment, Pete just stared at them in amazement. Something about seeing y/n in such masculine clothes, especially since they were his own clothes, just did something for Pete. It wasn't lingerie, far from it. But it was almost, if not just as arousing for Pete to see y/n express this newfound internalized masculinity as it would be for him to see them in seductive, lacy underwear.
Pete looked them up and down with wide eyes before croaking out a few words of approval. “Y.. You uh… You look good.. Really good..“
“You mean it? You don’t think this looks stupid or anything?”
“No way! I’m serious, I think you look awesome.” Pete picked himself off of the bed and walked over to y/n. “I wouldn’t lie to ya. ‘Specially not now.” He wrapped his arms around their waist and looked up at them, smiling. “It suits you, y’know? And hey, not to say that you didn’t look good as a chick, but… I think you’re gonna do a way better job at bein’ a guy.”
Pete pulled away just a bit to look up at them again. “And uh.. If it means anything.. You made a pretty crappy chick anyway..."