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“‘Talent. A natural ability that people were given when created. It could include physical, creativity, or something artistic.’ That's all I could think of after I heard that word, and it’s also the one that showed up when I searched it on Google.” Ena shifted her gaze from her phone to look at Airi sitting across from her.
A spoonful of parfait was about to land on her mouth before Ena could talk. So she looked at her before taking a bite of the peach parfait. “I think that’s good enough for your thesis, Ena. making a talent report sure matches you; you're an artist, after all.” She talks, but her eyes still linger on the parfait.
“How about you? What’s your talent? And what with that hat, glasses, and mask. Isn’t that a bit over the top, mentioning that we’re in a new cafe that barely has any customers?” Ena’s dark brown eyes gaze around the yellow wall cafe. It was empty, with only the two of them enjoying a parfait and cheesecake.
“The food here is good, though, and I can’t just reveal my identity in public. We walk here, remember?” Airi took another bite of her peach parfait.
‘Peach eating a peach’ that word came crossing inside of Ena’s mind when she glared at the pink idol. “Don’t change the topic. Please answer me. What’s your talent, Airi Momoi?”
“Hmm...” Airi looks like she’s trying to think hard, showing an expression of someone trying to figure out the true meaning of life. “My talent revolves around dance and singing and arguably smiling.” She shows off her iconic smile. That one smile showed one of her canine teeth.
“You’re not wrong. That smile of yours makes your fans head over heels for you, and you’re an idol. Of course, you’re talented in dance and singing.” Ena crosses her hands, her head staring at the ground under her. “For me–”
“Are you gonna eat that?” Airi cuts Ena word. Her finger pointed at Ena’s cheesecake; her parfait glass was already empty.
Ena emptied her mind and replaced her focus with another one. “Of course, I want to eat it. I want to try this cafe's cheesecake.” Ena took the fork that was lying on the white table. Taking a piece of the cheesecake, and took a bite from it. Her eyes sparkle. A whisper of praise escaped her mouth.
She felt the softness and cheesy flavor in the cake. Her mood quickly shifted once she heard a buzz from her phone. With curiosity, she took out her phone, looking at a notification containing a comment from one of her art posts.
The artist's sparkled eye has disappeared. The comment contained something negative that could make any teenager lose their passion and sometimes their meaning of life, especially when it came straight from their father.
Airi noticed her friend's change of mood. The once-playful expression was replaced with an emotionless, crestfallen face. As the talented and cheerful idol she is, she tried to cheer her up but was answered by silence. It looks like Ena isn’t even realizing her presence right now.
“Ena…” A concern came out of the pink idol’s mouth.
“Ah, I’m sorry...” She gets up from the green sofa. “I need to get home now, I’ll pay for the food. See you later, Airi.” Ena walks to the counter, her hand holding her wallet. She leaves the cafe after a quick payment.
Airi has tried to call her, but she doesn’t leave an answer. She turns around and stares at the unfinished cheesecake Ena has left. “I know eating a sad friend's cheesecake is not a great idea.
But I can’t resist. I’m sorry, Ena.”After hesitating a bit, Airi grabs the plate and starts to eat the cheesecake.
Ena walks around the street. The same crestfallen look was still on her face. Her mind was flooding with the same thought over and over again. The same comment was sent by her hater. Saying that she’s a talentless and skilled artist. She usually never bothered by it, but this comment was different; it was sent by her father.
He had told her to give up before. But the words in his comment were something that a father shouldn’t say to a mentally ill daughter.
No word that he said towards Ena has ever been a supporting word; all of them usually went to Akito or someone else. She had tried to think positively that her father was just trying to stiffen her up for the future. But, the comment text was just straight up mortifying her in front of her small portion of fans.
Tears drop to the artist’s feet. She tried to brush it off, but it would always linger around her head —the thought of being the only talentless person in the world. Always being behind someone else’s shadow— The drop of tear slowly turns into a flowing stream, but her face was only filled with emotionless. She can’t embarrass herself more by crying in a public area.
Her foot continues to walk down the path to her house, with red eyes and flowing tears replacing the fun emotion she just had. As her step continues, she starts to wonder if she will find her talent one day.
1
Ena stares at her monitor screen; the digital clock points at 8 AM. The screen portrays a drawing that looks like it was for a song or album cover. A plate of half-eaten cheesecake sits on the left of her keyboard. It has accompanied her through last night.
The artist yawned. She stretched her body and rubbed her eyes. Yesterday, her mental health was down from a single comment, and yet she tried to fight it off by finishing the song cover a month earlier than the deadline she was given. As a result, she sat at her desk the entire night drawing, with only a plate of cheesecake accompanying her.
The bags under her eyes looked larger than before, her eyes were red from crying. She will have a hard time hiding those when she goes out. But for now, all she needs to think of is either perfecting her art or wandering off to her bed and taking a rest.
The artist felt her head getting dizzier, her vision blurry, and her body felt like it had lifted a ton of weight last night. Her hands are tired from holding her stylus for hours, spamming control Z when she needed to. Yesterday has drained her of her normal capacity, both mentally and physically.
A knock at the door quickly fills the quiet room. A tall figure orange orange-haired figure enters the room with the lights from the house corridor. It was none other than the artist's younger brother, Akito.
Akito's hand was holding a plate of pancakes —homemade perhaps— with a glass of orange on the other side. His eyes shifted from the dark room to Ena’s desk. They stare at each other for a moment. Akito put down the plate and glass on the small coffee table placed in the middle of the room carpet.
“It’s a rare sight for you to give your older sister food, and to top it off. You even delivered it to her room directly.” She said teasingly, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
A silent answer was given to Ena. Akito gave her no word, his feet starting to walk away from the minimally lit room. His footsteps became the only source of sound inside the silent room. No word escaped both of their mouth until Akito was about to leave the room.
“Do you have a motive for giving me this food?” A smirk replaced the frown she had a few seconds ago. “Perhaps. Poison?”
Akito turns his body hastily. His eyebrow furrowed with his mouth scowling. “I just want to give you breakfast, that's all. I just want to do the same thing you did to me when I was sick. You looked pale with a red eye last night.”
“Well, I’m sorry if I suspect you. It’s just rare to see you being kind to me.” Ena pouted, her hand forming a cross as her head looked the other way.
Akito groaned, his step widening to reach the other ends of the door. “Whatever. If you don’t want to eat it, just don’t eat it.” The door was slammed, making the wall shake and creating a loud bang.
Ena sits at her desk in silence. Regret started to flow after the short argument she had with her ginger brother. She overteased again today. She should apologize later, or should she apologize now?
If she apologizes now, things might get worse, remembering that Akito was in a bad mood right now. If she did it later, things could also get worse. Akito might see her as a slow thinker with slow responses and could ignore all of her apologies.
Both of the choices she has could bring disaster and put the artist in a dilemma. She needs to choose one and accept the consequences. Maybe he’d forgive her after she said it, whether it would happen right after the word had been spoken or it would happen take a few days, weeks, or —the worst case scenario— a year perhaps? She won’t know if she doesn’t try it.
The artist bolted out of her seat. Chasing her brother through their house corridor after slamming her room door. She spotted him under the stairs leading to the second step. Too focused. Her feet step on a spiral object.
The world seems to slow down as she descends to the first floor without using the ladder. Her body was sent flying at a downward angle. Her heartbeat stopped. She thought that she would lose consciousness right after her head hit the floor; that wasn’t her main worry, though. She’s scare if Akito look at her and feel pissed.
The sound of a spiral object moving catches Akito’s ear. Curious, he looked back. Eyes widening and jaws dropping at the sight presented in front of him. His sister is falling from a ladder. He felt like this phenomenon was familiar; he felt like he had seen this in anime, manga, or a light novel he viewed a few years back.
It’s over for me. Both of their mind were thinking the same thing.
Ena lands in Akito’s body, her chest landing on his. Akito’s arm wrapped around her sister as a reflection. A sharp pain could be felt on the back of Akito’s head due to the harsh contact with the wooden floor.
Akito lifted his head, trying to fight off the pain. He looks at Ena's body on top of him, noticing that she’s gripping the fabric of his jacket with a hint of fear in her face. Annoyed and anger fill him up in seconds.
“Can you not be so reckless!?” Akito shouted. “The first thing you do is accuse me of poisoning you, and now you make me a mattress.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t see that there was a thing near the ladder, and I don’t mean to land on you; it’s all just an accident.” Ena lifts herself from Akito. Her hands extend, offering help, but get ignored immediately.
The ginger hands scrub the back of his head from pain. “You need to make this day more unpleasant, huh?” His green eye glared at his sister.
“I already said I’m sorry for earlier and now.” Ena’s right hand grips her pajama’s chest area. Her heart was beating at the realization of failure. Now, her brother might not forgive her for the accident that just happened.
“What’s wrong with you anyway? Yesterday, you looked like a walking corpse, and now you’re acting recklessly. Is it because of Dad's comment on your art post?”
Anxiety fills her mind, her breathing shallow, with her eyes wide. How did her brother know about that comment? How did he find her account in the first place? The two questions bring headaches to the artist. She wants to ask them, yet she feels like she doesn’t have any energy to even open her mouth.
“You’re weak when hearing people's opinions and when you feel like you’ve failed.” Akito’s words felt like a dart flying towards a soft object. “Maybe if you try to stiffen up yourself, maybe Dad will finally give you support. But sadly, you don’t have talent in both art and your own emotion.” Mock word continues to flow out of the ginger’s mouth.
Ena just stood there. Palm clenching with tears being held back. She wanted to reply to Akito’s comment, but she didn’t know what to. All of his mockery feels like it was a fact in her ears.
“You’re talentless, Ena.” Those two words were the final dart that hit her soft spot. “Maybe dad was right, you should just give up on being an artist.” Ena didn’t expect Akito to send in another dart to shatter her before walking away from her.
Ena just stood there in silence. Inside her heart was breaking, her mind was rushing with thoughts that maybe Akito was right. She should just give up; a lot of people are better than her, both in art and controlling their emotions.
Even though she had been working hard, harder than some of the people she knew. Yet she will never be able to beat them. She’s talentless, not like them. She knew it, yet why did she keep on trying? Why does she keep getting back on her feet after every failure when it all ends up being useless? All of the thinking finally piles up into one question. Is there any more reason for her to live?
Ena has felt the gap between her and her friends for a long time. Yet she acted blind to it. Life has been unfair to her since she was born in this world. She feels like she’s the only person who’s talentless in this world full of talented people.
2
The breeze of the night hits her throat. There she stands on the edge of a bridge. The cold wind brushes off her black mourning dress, which dances with the wind.
The wave came crashing into the red pillar of the bridge. Creating a sound that could be soothing and menacing at the same time. It sounded like it called for someone to jump into it, ending their problems and life in a few seconds.
Ena's feet take a step and step closer to the bridge’s end. She could hear the yelling of her brother behind her, but she just ignored it. There’s no reason for her to be here again, inside the world she wasn’t meant to be in.
Her feet float on the edge of the bridge. She tilts her body towards the ocean. Feeling the rush of wind and hitting the water that felt like asphalt. Her eyes closed with a calm feeling.
“The world has no place for me after all…”