Chapter Text
Foolish was tired. Every time he returned to the castle and sat on his throne, he was bombarded with requests from people in and out of his kingdom who wanted his help. He was a charitable guy, and he really did try to satisfy everyone, but every task he completed and war he prevented left little cracks in the happy facade he often wore.
It was these circumstances that left him unfazed when Bad and Pangi approached him in the throne room after a particularly taxing day.
“Foolish!” Bad shouted, a hint of a smile showing in his voice. Foolish didn’t bother to sit up and look at his nemesis, instead sinking lower into his throne. “Bad, I don’t even want to know what you’re been up to today,” he huffed, before turning his attention to Pangi. “You should be careful around here. After what you did to Ros, I'm sure none of us would hesitate to put any of you in the ground.”
Pangi chuckled nervously before stepping closer to Bad. “I’m sure Bad is plenty able to handle anything your kingdom can come up with,” he started, before nudging Bad forward, “Besides, we won’t be here long. We just came here for you.”
Foolish sighed. Of course they were. His throne room had become a complaint box and green team held most of his complainants. He thought for a moment before sitting up and plastering on his best kingly smile to say, “What can I do for the both of you?”
“We’re taking your throne!” Bad chirped as he drew his crossbow, pointing it directly at the throne and Foolish, in front of it. Foolish laughed and rolled his eyes. His throne was stolen every week, it was nothing new, and his newest one had a seat of immovable bedrock. Bad and Pangi knew that, of course, but Foolish had no doubt Bad could figure out a way to take it anyway.
“That’s quite the original plan you two,” he said, smirking, as he shifted to lay across the throne, his legs draped over one of the arm rests, “How many days did it take you to come up with it?”
“Oh no, Foolish, you misunderstand,” Pangi said, the joy in his voice barely concealed as he lifted his axe, “We’re taking the throne, and you with it.”
Now that made Foolish perk up. It wasn’t often he was blatantly threatened by someone other than Bad. It was funny, though, that they threatened him in his castle. Sneeg, Ros (and Aimsey by association), and Pili were all only a shout away, doing busy work on the castle ground.
“You know, I think I’m good. Got a lot to do today y’know, kingly duties and all,” he said, slipping back into his carefree persona naturally, becoming the King of Fools once again, “Besides, the people would miss my smile, don’t-cha think?”
Pangi laughed again, this time coming out as more of a bark. His face contorted into something sinister, his eyes adding harshness to his smile as he slithered, “We’re not asking, your highness. You’re coming with us; do you want it to be you or your dead body we carry out the door?”
Now this was good. Foolish couldn’t help but let out a snort. How could he be so mischaracterized, so misunderstood for them to think he valued something as trivial as his own life? Hell, he was more likely to just go with them willingly, for fun, before they threatened him.
“Pangi, pangi, pangi,” he started, sighing back and into his throne, “You can kill me if you want! I am not moving.” And he meant it, too. He planted his feet into the ground and grinded his heels into the stone floor. Sure, getting kidnapped could be fun. Who wouldn’t find it fun? But he was at the end of his rope this week! He would rather reset than let these guys ruin his night.
“Foolish,” Bad said, speaking for the first time in a few minutes. His voice was gravely and the name came out as almost a whisper. There was a threat there, a warning maybe, that Foolish could not continue with his facade. It felt like a crack in Bad’s usual behavior, his jovial tone all gone. When Foolish turned to face him, he caught a glimpse of that crack before Bad stood up straighter and smiled. “Fooooolish. How mad do you think Aimsey would be at you if Ros had another accident? Do you think they’d still stop by and talk to you? Or what about Sneeg? Do you think he’d stay with the kingdom, if Ros wasn’t here anymore?” He smiled through each sentence, any form of empathy washing away as he said it so casually, like he was asking if Foolish liked vanilla or chocolate ice cream. Like he expected the answer to be so simple for Foolish to come up with.
This made Foolish feel something. Something, because he wasn’t quite sure how to describe the combination of emotions he felt. Angry? Maybe. He had just given a life to Ros and he wasn’t sure if the Keepers would let him give her one more. Angry, again, because they came into his throne room, brandished weapons at him, and threatened his people. And, angry a third time, because of course Bad was doing this. He couldn’t ever let the world be quiet, he just had to stir the pot and watch it overflow. But underneath all that anger was intrigue. He had a bad habit of sitting back and letting things play out, just to see where they end up.
Foolish could’ve said no. He could’ve laughed and told Bad and Pangi to fudge-off, that they would never be able to kill Ros again without going to war with everyone. Pangi could kill Pili Two, he was controversial enough that most people just stayed out of their fights. But Ros was the center of so much happiness not just for the kingdom but for most of the land. Her death, especially after the last one, would be the inciting incident for a large conflict that would end in only death and ruin.
That’s why Bad was doing it, he thought as he leveled both of them with a glare. He wanted that chaos and bloodshed.
So Foolish relaxed, huffed, and sat up straight, rocking onto his toes. He was really doing it. He was letting them just stroll into his Kingdom and take whatever they wanted. He would feel embarrassed, if he could, but he had lost that ability a long time ago, in a different land. He stood up and extended his arms forward, exposing his wrists and balling his hands into fists. “Please tell me this trip will have a snack and beverage cart,” he said, his carefree mask returning to his face, “I get cranky when I don’t eat.”
“Oh Foolish,” Bad smirked, as he pushed Pangi forward, “Our trip is going to take a lot longer than you think.”
Before Foolish could respond to that, maybe argue that that means he’d need even more snacks, Pangi stepped towards him, raising his axe. For a second, Foolish thought he was ending it, thank god, he wouldn’t have to go anywhere with Badboyhalo, but his relief quickly turned into exhaustion as Pangi brought down the butt of his axe directly into his face, hitting his nose and sending blood pouring past his lips. He could only sputter as he dropped to his knees, hands in front of his mouth as he tried to stop the bleeding without disturbing the pain in his nose.
“I think you need to hit him a bit harder!” Bad said cheerily, lifting his own cloak to stop the blood from seeping into the trim. Pangi obliged, once again stepping forward, this time standing behind where Foolish kneeled.
As the second blow came down, for a moment, Foolish thought he could have shouted for help, maybe. Sneeg was nearby and almost invincible, he surely could’ve handled Bad and Pangi.
But, then again, maybe this trip could be fun. After all, it wasn’t often he could say he had been kidnapped. Even though he wished it was by someone a bit cooler than the Freaky Gnomes.
The pain from the blow eventually came and with it the world was wiped into black as Foolish collapsed to the throne room floor, barely registering the sound of Bad breaking the throne behind him.