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Ainosuke only sits up front when he’s had too much to drink. It was his idea originally, though neither of them can figure out why he was so adamant about it the first time, and neither wanted to confront the question after.
In the years since, Tadashi has been grateful that the habit stayed. It’s practical, easier to make sure Ainosuke stays upright. Easier to hear him when can’t raise his voice after hours of entertaining connection after connection, sharing drink after drink, and all the secret cigarette breaks that kept him from snapping along the way.
Ainosuke also has a habit of stumbling around honesty when he’s riding passenger. Tadashi is not sure he still deserves that privilege.
“Do you love me?”
The question comes halfway through the drive. He’s been eerily quiet otherwise.
Tadashi wants to answer.
Yes, but I don’t know how to prove it to you. Yes, but I know it is inadequate. Yes, but this has ended poorly for us before.
Unwise. He keeps his mouth shut and pretends he doesn’t hear.
“Even if you didn’t, I would still keep you around.” Ainosuke doesn’t seem bothered by the silence. “I don’t think anyone could pick up where you left off.”
Tadashi risks a glance. Ainosuke isn’t looking at him. His bangs have fallen into his eyes, and the button of his collar is undone. He’s exhausted.
“Thank you for putting up with me,” he says, a sleepy farewell before they spend the rest of the drive in silence.
Ainosuke curls in on himself when he can’t keep his eyes open anymore, pulling his knees in as much as he can despite how awkwardly tall he is for the seat. Against the door’s armrest, a limp hand guards his phone. The recreational burner one, of course. His business phone is always surrendered to Tadashi on nights when he plans on drinking.
It’s... sweet. Soft. Reminiscent of when they were younger and Ainosuke was the smaller of the two. Tadashi indulges in feeling like a dutiful chaperone rather than subordinate just for a moment.
Ainosuke will wake with a headache and a series of complaints no matter what, but there’s a rare look of peacefulness in his features when he’s finally asleep against the window. Tadashi almost doesn’t have the heart to wake him, but it would be more troublesome if he didn’t get his master inside and into bed.
Still—whether he deserves it or not—he allows himself an extended pause after parking to stare. He reaches out to take Ainosuke's phone, and holds his empty hand after.
Tadashi knows he's lingered too long when that hand involuntarily squeezes back, like it’s what Ainosuke’s been searching for in his dreams.