Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Why do they have to do that shit around me?” Van huffs in frustration, wearily eyeing Shauna and Melissa who are seated by the campfire. Melissa has an arm around Shauna’s shoulders and while Shauna looks like she doesn’t know what to do with the touch, she doesn’t pull away, allowing Melissa to keep her arm there.

“They’re not doing anything wrong, Van,” Tai sighs, this not being the first time she’s had to say this.

“We’re the gay ones, Tai!” Van states like it’s obvious. She side eyes Melissa and shakes her head. “They’re encroaching on our territory!”

“I don’t know why you think it’s such a big deal,” Tai says calmly.

“You were on my side at first so don’t pretend like you weren’t,” Van argues.

“Yeah but that was fleeting!” Tai retorts. “Shauna is doing better now. She doesn’t seem as… I don’t fucking know Van. She doesn’t seem as violent.”

Van sighs and slides down in her seat. “I don’t like it.”

“Van,” Tai says, clearly exasperated. “Them being gay is not a personal attack on you.”

“No it is,” van frowns. “Melissa’s existence is a personal attack on mine.”

“Oh my god van,” Tai buries her face in her hands and shakes her head. Van returns her eyes to Melissa and Shauna who are now somehow sitting closer to each other. How dare they? How dare they be gay when van was there first. And they’re both butch! That has to be an attack on van personally. They’re both coming for her title of butchest gay about here.

“Her hat is so stupid,” Van pouts. “I don’t like it.”

Tai looks up just to roll her eyes before she puts her head back down, her voice muffled when she speaks. “You’ve told me that you like her hat and wish you could steal it.”

“Lies!” Van shouts suddenly, smacking her hands down on her legs. Tai jumps and puts her head up, and a few girls glance over with confused expressions.

“Van,” Tai says, looking disappointed. “Stop being dramatic. It’s not an insult to you.”

“How can you be sure they’re not doing this just to piss me off?” Van asks, raising a brow at Tai.

“Why would they do that?” Tai sighs. “Neither of them have ever really talked to you before.”

“Maybe that’s why they’re trying to piss me off,” Van shrugs. “They don’t talk to me because they don’t like me and they’re doing this to spite me.”

“You’re fucking ridiculous,” Tai shakes her head, but she can’t hide her small amused smile.

“Well it doesn’t matter. We’re still the best gays out here,” Van says.

“Obviously,” Tai nods with a smirk. Van laughs and leans into Tai. They are the best gays out here and that will never change. Van can remain on her internal high ground of being better than Shauna and stupid Melissa. She will never let herself or Taissa forget that they are better than everyone for as long as she lives.

Chapter Text

“I’m gonna take her hat,” Van declares, standing up from her position watching Tai chop wood. “It will be mine.”

“Van don’t. Shauna will kill you,” Tai sighs, putting the axe down and taking a few steps towards her. It’s too late, however. Van is already marching over to the butcher's hut with her mind set on a mission. She hears Tai call to her from behind her but she doesn’t turn. If Melissa is gonna be gay and make Shauna gay too, she will have her revenge.

As she approaches, both Shauna and Melissa turn to her. Shauna’s face is unreadable, but Melissa looks a bit apprehensive, like she can tell van is on a mission.

“Hey van,” Melissa says slowly, taking a half step back when van gets closer. She glances at Shauna like she’s unsure what to do, but doesn’t make any more moves to go backwards. “What’s up?”

Van doesn’t say anything as she steps into the small butcher area. She heads straight for Melissa and plucks the hat off her head before the blonde can react. Both Shauna and Melissa make a move for her, but Van is too quick, she spins on her heel and takes off through the camp site making a beeline for Tai who she knows will defend her against Shauna.

“Van,” Tai sighs as Van attempts to hide behind her. Van peeks around Tai to see both Shauna and Melissa heading towards her. Melissa looks annoyed, but Shauna has a more playful expression on her face, one that makes van pause. She hasn’t seen Shauna look this not angry in a long time.

“You’re an asshole,” Melissa pouts, attempting to reach around Tai to get to Van, but Van dances out of the way.

“Looks like it’s mine, Hat,” Van laughs, putting it on her own head and taking off towards the campfire. “You’ll never get it back now!”

“Van!” Melissa shouts, taking off after her and following her as she makes laps of the camp. Melissa is fast enough to catch up to her over and over, but Van keeps twisting out of the way and pushing Melissa back, giving her enough time to sprint to the far end of camp before Melissa can catch up again.

The other girls watch on in amusement as Shauna steps into place beside Tai and sighs slightly, her expression soft.

“Should we do something?” Shauna asks, but it doesn’t seem like she wants to do anything. She seems more than content watching Melissa chase Van all over camp as Van taunts her.

“Let them tire themselves out,” Tai says. “They’re the most energetic two out here. Let them do this and they’ll be calm the rest of the day.”

Shauna watches as Melissa catches up to Van and instead of reaching for the hat like before, she just tackles her and the both end up on the ground, still fighting for control of the hat but both laughing now.

Despite herself, Shauna laughs too. It feels weird at first, but she can’t help it. She can’t help but laugh at the chaos.

Life out here sucks but maybe she can try to enjoy it while it’s here. There’s really not that much else to do so why not just make peace with life out here and take a bit of joy in while they can? It seems like they have nothing but time so it’s best to make the most of it while it’s here.

Chapter Text

The sun is high in the sky when Van has finally had enough. She watches Melissa and Shauna from across camp and tries to repress a gag but it doesn’t go very well and Tai hears her from her spot a few feet away, scoffing and shaking her head.

“I’m sick of this shit,” van shakes her head.

“I thought you guys were friends after the whole hat chasing things,” Tai frowns. “You both seemed pretty friendly after.”

“My feelings have turned to animosity again,” Van declares. “We shall hold a trial! Who’s the best wilderness gay? Me or Melissa?”

Tai scoffs again but more amused this time. “Are me and Shauna not options?”

“Nope!” Van states. “It’s between us. Winner gets the hat.”

“Who will judge?” Tai asks.

“Why who other than our queen, Natalie?” Van says, already walking over to where most of the rest of the group is. When she’s within shouting distance to them she starts making her deceleration. “Everyone! We are holding a trail! We will decide once and for all who is the best gay! Me, or Melissa!”

There are a few scattered laughs but they die out when they realize Van is deadly serious.

“Wait, are you being serious?” Melissa asks, smile slowly sliding off her face. “Are you really making a trial for this?”

“We have to settle things once and for all,” van nods. “And I need to stroke my ego a little bit.”

“You’re so confident you’re gonna win?” Shauna snarks, smirking slightly. Melissa seems to light up slightly at this but Van can’t help but scoff.

“Yes, I am,” Van says with a shake of her head. She turns to Natalie and points at her. “You shall be the judge, Tai will be my lawyer and Shauna will be Melissa’s lawyer.”

“Actually the correct terms are-“ Tai starts before she’s cut off by everyone else groaning.

“Let’s just fucking do this!” Mari says, looking extremely excited like she’s very pleased for the break in her monotonous work.

Van nods as a few people begin moving tables and benches. She can’t help but overhear Gen and Shauna talking to Melissa.

“You’re going to win, don't worry about it,” Gen assures, sounding surprisingly confident.

“People are scared of me,” Shauna adds. “I’ll threaten them with bodily harm if they vote against you.”

“Pretty sure that would be against the rules of the court,” Melissa says, sounding very amused. “But that will be our back up plan.”

“Tai is going to toast us,” Gen says softly. Van smiles slightly because she knows it’s true. Tai is the best person to have on her side. “She was on the mock trial team or whatever the hell it was called.”

“But I’ll threaten them with bodily harm!” Shauna says it like it’s obvious. “If Tai is starting to be a little too good I’ll threaten them all with bodily harm and gen, you’re the hunter so you can threaten to shoot them.”

“Okay, wow,” Melissa laughs. “That seems like a little much.”

Despite herself, Van can't help but laugh slightly as well, internally cursing herself after. She shouldn't find the enemy funny. To spare herself from anymore slips in her mask she quickly heads off to take her place on the bench.

“This is so fucking stupid,” Tai shakes her head as van takes a seat next to her.

“Are you not going to try?” Van raises a brow, knowing that these simple words are going to cause Tai to lock the fuck in.

“We are going to fucking win this trial,” Tai declares, face set in determination.

Nat takes her place in the throne, Van and Tai take one side on the front bench and Melissa, Shauna, and gen take the other side on the front bench. The rest of the girls and Travis sit or stand on the other side of the bench, very pleased to be out of normal days work.

Mari stands wearing a white cloak and a sash. She walks to the centre of the little group and holds her hands up at her sides. “All rise, Melissa versus Van, who the better gay is. The verdict requires majority ruling. The honourable judge Natalie presides.”

Mari waves behind her and Natalie steps out of her hut, wearing a similar white clock to Mari and the antler queer head wear. Van feels excitement rise in her chest. She can’t wait for this shit.

Natalie takes her seat and glances to her right where a table has been moved and there sits a bone gavel atop of a wooden stump disc.

“Hello all,” Natalie says. “We shall get this underway. Tai is Van’s lawyer and Shauna is Melissa’s. let’s start with Shauna.”

“What?” Van exclaims. The other girls laugh slightly as Nat looks at her with an amused expression. She gets up and walks over to Natalie, whisper shouting at her. “You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“Objection!” Shauna calls. “Bias!”

“Shut up Shauna!” Van snaps, but she takes her seat again and tries to avoid looking at the amused Shauna and Melissa.

Shauna rises and steps into the middle of the group as Mari takes a seat on the bench. She does a small scan of the group before her eyes settle on gen. “I would like to call Gen to the stand.”

“Can she do that?” Van whispers, leaning into Tai.

Tai snorts and nods her head. “Yes dumbass. That’s the whole point of trials.”

Gen takes her place in the witness seat and glances at Shauna when she speaks again. “So. You’ve known Melissa for how long?”

“Since we were seven,” Gen answers.

“And how long has she been gay for?” Shauna asks.

Van covers her mouth with her hand to hide her laugh as Gen looks slightly confused but answers nonetheless. “Uh, the whole time. She’s been telling me about crushes on girls since we met pretty much.”

Oh shit. Van curses internally. Van’s only been talking about her crushes for not that long. Melissa has her beat there.

“And do you know how many girls she’s hooked up with back home?” Shauna asks.

“Gen, don't answer that!” Melissa says suddenly. “She’s asking for herself not the trial!”

The courtroom breaks out into giggles as even Natalie has to cover her mouth with her hand to keep in her mirth.

“Objection!” Tai calls. “She has to answer the question!”

“Is that a court law?” Gen asks, looking between Shauna and Tai who are smirking at each other.

“Sustained. Answer the question gen,” Natalie sighs.

“I think at least fifteen,” Gen says thoughtfully.

The courtroom laughs again as Melissa buries her face in her hands with a loud groan.

“I rest my case,” Shauna says, clapping her hands together. “No further questions.”

Tai rises as Shauna takes her seat and nudges Melissa with her elbow, the blonde still refusing to look up. Tai makes her way over to gen and starts doing laps around her.

“Have you ever hooked up with Melissa?” Tai asks.

“Um what?” Gen stammers. Melissa groans again but doesn’t say anything.

“Answer the question gen,” Shauna says, making everyone giggle again.

“Well I mean if making out a couple times counts as hooking up then yes,” Gen says. More giggles as Melissa slumps her head down on the table.

“Shit,” Tai curses. “I was expecting you to say no. I already had a whole argument for it.”

Mari is losing it now and Misty has to excuse herself because her giggling is getting to be too much.

“Okay I’m done with Gen I’m calling someone else up,” Tai says suddenly. “Lottie Mathews to the stand please.”

“Oh!” Lottie says with a smile, seemingly very excited to be included. “Sure!”

Lottie all but prances up to the witness stand and takes a seat as Gen leaves. Tai regards her closely. “You have known van for quite some time, haven’t you?”

“Objection!” Shauna calls. “Recycled question!”

“No- Shauna,” Tai sighs. “That’s not how that works.”

“Overruled,” nat declares. “She’s allowed to do that.”

“Since we were eight,” Lottie says. “And I’ve always known she was gay. It’s hard to not know.”

“Case in point,” Tai says. “Van has been gay just as long as Melissa, longer actually because she’s a year older. No further questions.”

Shauna stands and heads and trades off with Tai, approaching Lottie. “You were on jv with Melissa in your sophomore year, yes?”

“Yes,” Lottie nods.

“Do you think she was nice to you?” Shauna asks.

“I thought she was a little too nice actually,” Lottie shrugs. “She let everyone walk all over her.”

“But you thought she was really sweet?” Shauna prods.

“Objection!” Tai interrupts. “Where is this going?”

“Shut the fuck up Tai, I’m building a narrative,” Shauna snaps sounding frustrated, but there’s no mistaking the amused glint in her eye. She turns back to Lottie. “You thought she was really sweet?”

“I really did,” Lottie confirms. “One time, I left my water at home and Melissa just gave me hers even though she didn’t have another one. She’s quite sweet.”

Shauna looks very pleased with this and van wonders where the hell she's going with this shit. Shauna turns to the jury with raised hands. “What if being a good gay isn’t just about how gay they are, it’s who they are as a person and how much other people like being around them despite the whole gay thing.”

Van curses under her breath as the jury mummers. That was a good one. Tai doesn’t look phased though and keeps staring straight ahead as Shauna calls Melissa up to the witness stand, taking the hat on her head and turning it right way around.

“Wear it properly. This is court,” Shauna mutters, making Melissa blush and the jury laugh. Shauna gives Melissa a few seconds to get comfortable in the seat before she starts asking her questions. “What is your main job out here?”

“Help with the butchering,” Melissa replies immediately.

Shauna nods. “And what is Van’s job? Tell stories? That doesn’t really help us much.”

Van feels rage enter her body and she has to resist the urge to say something about it. It’s actually a very important job but no one ever acknowledges it!

“How many people here do you consider to be your friends?” Shauna asks Melissa.

Melissa responds without an ounce of hesitation. “Everyone. Including Mari’s dumb ass.”
Mari stops laughing for the first time to be offended. “Hey!”

Van can’t help her giggle at this. Shauna looks pleased again and nods. “See, the other day, Van told me that she doesn’t see half the people here as friends.”

“Objection!” Tai rises as the jury mummers again. “Hearsay!”

Everyone looks at Nat expectantly but Nat just looks at Tai with a blank face. “I don’t- what’s that?”

Tai rolls her eyes as the jury giggles and Melissa pulls her hat low to hide her laughter. “It means she heard it from someone else, it’s hearsay.”

“Oh, uh, sustained!” Natalie calls. “Say something else Shauna.”

“Melissa,” Shauna starts, hitting the blondes hat up so she has no choice but to look at her. “You wear a backwards pink hat almost all the time, yes?”

“Yes,” Melissa confirms.

“And that’s so that people know you’re gay, right?” Shauna asks.

“Well not at first but now yes,” Melissa confirms.

“That’s gay as hell,” Shauna nods. “Melissa is an incredible person. She’s sweet, she’s not as mean as van and tai, she’ll always offer anyone a hand if she thinks they need it, hell she’ll probably offer them a hand even if they don’t need it. Melissa is great and I think everyone needs to remember that.”

Shauna nods in pride as the jury mummers and walks over to the bench as Tai stands and walks over to Melissa, doing laps around her just as she did with Gen.

“How important were you on the soccer team?” Tai asks suddenly.

Melissa’s brows twitch and van feels slightly bad for a second before Melissa smirks slightly. “I got more time than you in that one game.”

Rage flashes in Tai's eyes as people start laughing and Van debates getting between them before tai commits murder. Tai takes a deep breath and looks at the jury. “Melissa was just a bench warmer with barely any playing time. Van was our goalie. Our incredible goalie might I add. Not a single goal allowed.”

“Because I’m great at defence,” Melissa adds. Van can’t even disagree. She loved playing with Melissa when she got a chance because she didn’t have to worry too much about the ball coming to her. Melissa was such an aggressive defence player, Van probably could have just gone home and watched the entire Goonies movie. When she came back, there would still probably be no goals allowed.

Van has mentioned this to Tai before which is probably the reason why she hesitates slightly, looking at Melissa closely. “But still. Van was such a valued player on our team and the reason we even made it to nationals. Melissa didn’t do shit.”

“Objection!” Shauna calls. “She’s being mean!”

Everyone laughs again as Nat tries to suppress hers before she speaks. “Hm, sustained. Be nicer.”

“I’m done anyway,” Tai shrugs, grabbing Melissa’s arm and dragging her off the chair. Poor clumsy Melissa with her too long limbs trips and face plants. Without thinking, Van stands up and walks over to her, reaching her before Shauna does and pulling her to her feet.

“See how nice Van is?” Tai asks at the same time Shauna yells “objection! Unnecessary roughness!”

“Sustained,” Nat declares but she looks amused as Melissa awkwardly heads back to her seat and Shauna glares at Tai. “Who’s the last witness?”

“Van!” Tai says, holding her hands out to her side like she’s presenting Van. Van smiles and heads to the witness seat. Van looks out into the jury and sees that people seem to really be invested in this. Everyone, even Travis, is paying rapid attention to the court proceedings.

“What’s the first question, Tai?” Van asks loudly. She leans in and speaks quietly just for Tai. “Ask me a really good one.”

Tai smirks and nods her head. “So van. We are in a relationship, yes?”

“Well I hope so,” van jests, making the jury laugh slightly.

“That’s really gay,” Tai nods.

“It really is,” Van confirms.

“You are an avid enjoyer of films, yes?” Tai asks, making Melissa scoff slightly because she’s just as nerdy as Van, if not worse.

“Sure am,” Vam confirms.

“How many of your favourite films are gay?” Tai asks, smirking slightly because she already knows the answer from all the nights Van forced her to watch her favourite movies.

“At least half,” Van says, knowing it’s probably less but not caring about the lying. She is going to win this fucking trial if it’s the last thing she does.

“I think Mel has only ever watched the princess bride,” Tai says, making Melissa stand with outrage before Shauna laughs and pulls her back down. Tai addresses the jury again. “Van is an incredible person all around. Someone who is the heart of the team, makes us all laugh, tells us good stories, and all around is super fun to be around. Remember that before you vote from some JV benchwarmer who we all only know the name of because she’s with Shauna.”

The jury gasps as Melissa's mouth drops open and Shauna looks infuriated. Shauna stands to question Van as Gen glares at Tai and reaches over to pat Melissa's arm sympathetically. Van can’t help but feel bad as she looks at the saddened Melissa who is the spitting image of an upset puppy. Down to the eyes and the slight tilt of the head.

“Van,” Shauna says, voice sharp and Van immediately wishes Tai hadn’t said that because now there’s a very real chance Shauna just snaps and straight up kills her, trail aside. “How often did you hang out with the team back home?”

Van frowns slightly, not entirely sure where this is going. “On occasion I guess.”

Shauna turns to the jury, gaze still hard before it falls onto Melissa and softens just enough for Van to notice. “Melissa was at every single team bonding event even though none of us knew her name and called her ‘Hat’. She was just as much a part of the team as anyone else was, despite whatever bullshit Tai says. Remember that if you vote against Melissa, you’re literally voting against a puppy and you’re a horrible person.”

The jury laughs slightly as Shauna and Van return to the bench and Nat follows. Nat looks around at the table in front of them. “Okay, me, Melissa, Shauna, Tai and Van won’t vote because we were part of the trail. The rest of you, raise your hands if you’re team van.”

Misty, Lottie, Brittney, and most surprisingly, Travis, all raise their hands. Van does a quick scan of the number and begins to frown but before she can say anything, nat is continuing. “Raise your hand if you’re team Melissa.”

Gen, Mari, Robin, and Akilah raise their hands. For a moment no one says a thing. Suddenly Van curses loudly and slams her hands on the table, making everyone break into laughter.

“It’s fucking tied!” Van yells, standing up and pacing a small line. “You have to be fucking kidding me!”

“Sucks to suck, Van,” Melissa teases, making Van turn redder.

“You are going to rue the day you decided to mess with me, Melissa hat!” Van declares over the continued giggles of the rest of the group. “I swear you will regret it!”

Van marches off into camp, trying to be upset but not able to stop the small smile that creeps onto her face. She quickly wipes it off and shakes her head. She is not doing this. She is not going to end up liking Melissa. No way. Melissa is her mortal enemy and she will pay for it. She will have her revenge and Melissa is going to pay for being so damn likeable if it’s the last thing Van does. Melissa will pay, Van just has to figure out how and then she will pay, she promises her that.

Chapter Text

If there’s one thing Van has learned about all the gay people out here, it’s that they all collect things. She doesn’t know what inspires them to do this, what the prompt is, but they all do, without fail.

Tai collects little piles of dirt. Van has never bothered asking why or inquiring further but she lets it happen, taking care not to kick the piles when she goes to that side of the hut.

Shauna collects sticks. She uses them for sharpening her knife and making kindling so there is a reason, more than Tai anyway, but it doesn’t negate the fact that she still collects sticks like she’s some sort of child.

Gen collects feathers. Now, van doesn’t actually know if she’s gay or not, but if going off the way she looks at Melissa, Van would be comfortable betting on yes. Being the hunter and mainly killing birds, Gen has quite the collection. She has at least one feather from every bird she has killed and it’s in the triple digits for sure.

Lottie collects mushrooms. Van can’t tell if this is because she’s gay or if it’s because she’s fucking crazy, but she collects mushrooms. Not just the drug kind, but the harmless kind too. It’s a weird thing to collect for sure but something about mushrooms as a concept seems to have gay people in a choke hold so van supposes it makes some sort of sense.

Natalie collects empty bullet casings. Van knows her past relationship with guns, and knows this must be because of that, but it doesn’t stop her from thinking it’s quite the weird thing to collect.

Van herself collects rocks. It’s an odd hobby, but rocks are so cool and she has quite a big collection of them. The problem? Melissa also collects rocks because of course she does. It seems her entire purpose in life is to come for all the things that makes Van… well Van.

Van likes movies. Melissa is a movie nerd too. Van is a butch wilderness gay. Melissa is a butch wilderness gay. Van's girlfriend is really mean. Melissa's girlfriend is really mean. Van collects rocks. Melissa collects rocks. Maybe if vans are lucky, Melissa will get attacked by wolves like she did since she seems to like copying everything van does. Van would like that very much.

Vans fucking sick of this shit. She can't believe the trial ended in a tie. She’s obviously the clear winner here. People only voted for Melissa because she gives off sad puppy vibes and people don’t like kicking puppies. It’s a shame. Van would love to kick this one particular puppy with her stupid fucking backwards hat.

They will have a rock collection show off and there will be a winner and it will be van, she’s sure of it. All she needs to do now is convince the others to be involved. Luckily for her, the three people she needs are all already together. While van was moping about her hut, thinking of her genius plan, Tai had apparently decided to keep Melissa and Shauna company while they butchered the birds Gen had shot that day. Van would have to process that betrayal later. Right now, all she was focused on was proving to Melissa once and for all that she was the best wilderness gay out there.

“Tai!” Van calls out as she approaches, making everyone at the butchers table jump in surprise. Tai lets out a shaky breath, hand to her chest, clearly having been more startled than the others who were laughing slightly, nervously but still laughing.

“What do you need, Van?” Tai asks, with a small eye roll, at how hard Van is glaring at the smiling Melissa.

“We need to settle something,” Van declares, getting eye rolls from all three other people talking to her.

“Oh god save me,” Shauna mutters, but she can’t fully push down the small smirk on her face. “Not again.”

“Give it a rest van,” Melissa says, however she looks amused too.

“With what now?” Tai asks, trying and failing to glare at Van, unable to hide the fondness in her eyes.

Van brings her hands up and points one at Melissa and one at herself. “Me. Melissa. You two as judges. Rock collection show off.”

“Oh easy,” Melissa snarks, looking way too confident in herself and making Van narrow her eyes.

“You haven’t even seen my collection yet,” Van retorts. “I bet yours is like what, four rocks, all grey and boring?”

“And yours all the size of a pea and ugly as fuck,” Melissa hastily replies back. Van is debating just skipping the rock thing and physically fighting Melissa when Tai interrupts her thoughts.

“You know what?” She sighs, sending Shauna a quick look before she locks eyes with Van again, looking resigned. “If it finally puts an end to this bullshit, I’ll allow it.”

“Fuck yeah!” Van pumps her fist making the others look exasperated again. Before walking away to find her rocks, she gives Melissa one last glare. “You best be ready. In ten minutes we will gather at this very table and show off my cool rocks and your trash ones.”

“I’m gonna kick your ass,” Melissa mutters, already heading to her hut to get her rocks as van does the same. Van can hear Shauna and Tai talking as she retreats away from them, both their voices too low for van to hear, but she just knows they’re conspiring because of course they are. She turns back around to which both Shauna and Tai fall silent as they watch her approach.

“By the way,” Van says, pointing at both of them and wagging her finger with narrowed eyes for emphasis. “No bias! Don’t vote for your partner.”

Van watched a quick flash of confusion appear on both of their faces but didn’t leave them anytime to say anything, instead heading off towards her hut and quickly gathering up her rock collection.

In a few minutes time, van was heading back to the butcher's table, Melissa already there, setting up her rock collection on the table, shielding it from Van’s view when she approached. Van scoffed but began setting up her rocks too, putting them in order of largest to smallest. When she was finally done, she took a step back and held her hands up in front of her as if she was presenting the next biggest thing since sliced bread.

“Read it and weep loser!” Van exclaimed to Melissa, who just rolled her eyes and stepped back from the table as well. Van felt pride surge through her as she looked at the messy piles of rocks Melissa had made, not really seeing any connection between the ones she had decided to put together. Oh she’s totally going to fucking win this.

“Are we going to start the judging now?” Melissa asks with a mock fear. “I’m so scared I’m not going to win!”

Van scoffs and rolls her eyes. “As if. Shauna, Tai, get looking.”

The other two girls both laugh slightly but they move forward, their eyes scanning the table. Shauna pauses when looking at Melissa's and smiles sweetly at her. Van narrows her eyes, worried about bias, but Shauna quickly moves onto van’s shooting her an amused look when she looks at the way she organised it. Tai does something similar. Pausing when looking at van’s, poking a few of the rocks, and smiling when she sees Melissa's shitty piles.

After what feels like an eternity, Tai and Shauna return to the head of the table and look at Van and Melissa.

“The voting is ready to be commenced,” Tai declares, making Melissa snort slightly at the word choice. Van nudges her side in defence of Tai and Melissa looks at her with pure offence, reaching over and pushing her shoulder. Van makes a swipe for the hat but Melissa manages to move out of the way and before either of them can make another move, Tai and Shauna get between them.

“No fighting before the results are decided,” Shauna sighs. “At least wait til after.”

“Fine,” Melissa mumbles at the same time van lets out a resigned, “Okay.”

“In three we’re going to stand next to the person we vote for, deal?” Tai says, making the other three all nod.

“Three,” Shauna starts. “Two… One!”

Tai and Shauna both move. It takes van a second to process what is happening but when she does, she almost flips the table.

“What the fuck!” Van shouts, looking at Shauna who is standing next to her and Tai who is standing next to Melissa. “This is unfair!”

“You said we couldn’t pick our partners!” Shauna laughs, making van madder. Tai is at least holding in her amusement for van’s sake but Melissa is full on belly laughing, having to lean on the table because she’s laughing so hard at van’s distress. Melissa’s laughter makes Shauna crack up more. It’s the hardest van has ever seen Shauna laugh ever and Shauna has no choice but to copy Melissa's idea of leaning on the table because of how much she’s cracking up.

“This is bullshit!” Van declares, collecting up her rocks and beginning to storm back to her hut, but not before stopping to threaten Melissa one last time. “You will rue the day I finally beat you!”

Melissa doesn’t say anything on account of her barely being able to breathe so Van just scoffs and keeps walking to her hut, shaking her head. She will eventually prove once and for all she’s the best gay, she just has to figure out how. She will make Melissa pay for all she does, she will. Van will come out on top, and she will claim the hat if it’s the last thing she does. Victory will be hers, she just now has to figure out how to rig it in her favour at last.

Chapter Text

You know, everyone always knocks on brooding, but Van actually really likes it. It’s quite fun. If she had known this before, maybe she could have been brooding this whole time. In any case, she sees why Travis, Natalie, and Shauna all like it so much. It’s great.

She has a lot to brood about recently. The betrayal from her own girlfriend in the rock show off, her inability to prove herself as the best wilderness gay she knows she is, the annoying golden retriever ass human being that is named Melissa. She has a lot to be rightfully upset about. 

However, the rest of camp doesn’t seem to see that, and they (Shauna) think she’s being petty for no reason.

Van has plenty of reason to be annoyed with Melissa. That stupid, dumbass golden retriever lookin ass-

“Hey, Van!” says a voice that gets more and more annoying to van with each day that passes.

“What do you want, Melissa?” Van asks, putting more emphasis than required on her name.

If melissa notices the annoyance in Van’s tone, she doesn’t react, instead just awkwardly wringing her hands with that stupid fucking, way too happy smile of hers.

“I have something for you!” She says, looking like an over eager puppy as she rocks back and forth on her feet.

“For me?” Van asks with a skeptical brow raised. Is this a trap? Melissa doesn’t seem smart enough to pull off a trap, but van’s still suspicious. It’s always the ones you least suspect who are the most dangerous. 

“Yeah, but it’s a surprise so you have to follow me,” Melissa says, still rocking back and forth on her feet.

Maybe it really is a trap.

Or more likely, Melissa's the bait to get Van to follow, and Shauna is the one to deliver the killing blow.

“I don’t know if I want to follow you to some undisclosed location, Mel,” Van says, eyeing Melissa suspiciously. Maybe if she thinks hard enough, she’ll be able to hear Melissa’s three brain cells bouncing around and she’ll get an idea of what’s going on.

“It’s just in my hut,” Melissa rolls her eyes, but she doesn’t look annoyed. “Come on!”

Then she’s gone. Bounding away like some stupid, happy Jack Russel.

Van debates not going but eventually sighs and gives in, following the over excited Mel into her hut.

Van pauses just outside the hut to prepare herself for an attack before Mel's head pops out of the makeshift curtain.

“Hurry up!” She says before dipping back into the hut.

Van rolls her eyes but steps in, expecting to see one Shauna Shipman in there too, but it’s just her and Mel from what she can see.

“What’s this all about?” Van asks, bored with this already.

“Well,” Mel starts, reaching over to the bed and moving a blanket, revealing what looks like a shitty, cobbled together from scraps, baseball cap. Mel picks it up and holds it out to Van. “This is for you. I made it for you.”

“This is for me?” Van asks, feeling very much so caught off guard. This is not what she was expecting when she walked into the hut. She was preparing for a fight and here Melissa was giving her a handmade hat.

“Yeah!” Melissa says, face split into a joyful smile. “Put it on!”

So Van puts it on (backwards of course) and can’t help the smile that spreads across her face.

“You know, Melissa," Van says, looking at her closely. “Maybe you’re not as bad as I thought you were.”

“Really?” Melissa asks, looking beyond overjoyed. “So we’re like best friends now, right?”

“Hold on now, I didn’t say-” Van cuts herself off when Melissa's smile starts to fade slightly. “I- ugh fuck. Yeah, okay Mel. We’re best friends.”

“Fuck yeah!” Melissa says, fist pumping.

Van can’t help but laugh slightly. Maybe she was all wrong about Mel, but now that she’s not her vision straight, she knows that this camp is about to get a lot more interesting.