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Lucy threw herself onto the hotel bed with an exhausted groan.
It had been one heck of a day. They had finally completed the 100 Years Quest. Ignia and Black Faris were defeated. Team Natsu had just managed to prevent another Dragon War. Lucy had successfully summoned the Celestial Spirit King without having to sacrifice another of her spirits. But she had almost died in the same breath. Natsu had a full E.N.D transformation and went absolutely berserk. Elefseria had lied about that wish, of course. But in the end, even if everything had not gone as smoothly as they would have liked, they'd still succeeded. They'd won.
Oh. And one more thing.
Lucy had finally had her very first kiss.
At that thought, the Stellar Mage groaned and threw her arm over her eyes, attempting to block out the world and the memory along with it.
Her first kiss.
It still didn't seem to be quite real. Since she was young Lucy had dreamed of three things. Become a Fairy Tail wizard. Having a family who truly loved her. And falling in love. She'd accomplished those goals. She'd joined the guild she idolized and they became her family. They were a rowdy bunch of misfits but she loved her guild members with all her heart. And she was pretty sure they loved her too. And, yes, she'd also fallen in love. Though he was no one she had ever expected to have fallen in love with. She had always dreamed of a Prince. A knight in shining armor. A gentlemen who would open doors for her, kiss her hand and compliment her and take her for romantic moonlit strolls. Instead she'd fallen for the exact opposite of that. The man she loved was no Prince. Instead he was the chaotic, destructive, unfiltered, fire breathing Dragon. And she wouldn't have him any other way.
But, of course, when she dreamed of falling in love she had also expected that the man would love her back. Unfortunately, that clearly was not the case. Her love was hopelessly unrequited. She had also dreamed that her first love would also be her first kiss, and unfortunately, that had also not been in the cards for her. Because instead of her first kiss being her partner in crime, the love of her life, the one Natsu Dragneel, it had been his brother.
Ignia. The Fire dragon God. Her enemy. And Natsu's adopted older brother.
Lucy groaned again, rolling over on her bed, trying desperately to push the memory from her mind. She couldn't. She hadn't even known what had happened. How it had happened. She could only recall Natsu's annoyed look as his brother subtly insulted him. She could remember Ignia's smug smirk and making the quick decision to change into her Aquarius star dress to back up her partner.
Then the next second the Dragon God's face had been in front of hers and her mind blanked as he pulled her in for a kiss. The rest she could vividly recall. Ignia's rough lips against hers. His hand scalding the back of her neck that he held in his tight grasp. The feeling of horror that had swept through her. The misery. The grief. Because no. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. A forced kiss with someone she didn't even know. Someone she despised. A brief sliver of denial had overtaken her. This wasn't happening. She was dreaming. She was back at her apartment sleeping in her bed with Natsu snoring next to her and probably hogging her covers like he always did. Just a dream.
But she was quickly brought back to reality by Ignia being violently ripped away from her. By the sickening sound of flesh and bone crashing into the concrete wall. By the heat of Natsu's body as his arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her against his side as he glowered down at the Dragon God on the ground before them. Only then did Lucy realize what had happened. And then she felt sick.
"You okay, Lucy?" Natsu had asked her softly while Ignia wiped the blood from his mouth and pushed himself to his feet. Lucy hadn't answered, the horror, the disgust of the past minute temporarily impairing her speech as she stared at the Dragon God wide eyed. He'd smirked at her then turned his gaze to Natsu, who'd pulled her tighter against his side.
"Not as dense as I had assumed then," Ignia had commented.
"What the fuck do you think you were just doing?' Natsu had growled darkly.
"I saw a cute girl so I did the logical thing."
"The logical thing was to force yourself on someone you don't even know?" Lucy had snapped, anger overtaking her former horror at their sudden situation.
Ignia had shrugged. But his smug look remained directed at Natsu who'd stiffened then growled low in his throat. They seemed to have some telepathic conversation right before her eyes and whatever turn that silent conversation had taken made her partner stand up straighter. His face twisted into something entirely monstrous. As if he was imagining painting himself in the Dragon God's blood right then and there. As if he would enjoy every second of it too. And when he had spoken, his voice was so low, Lucy almost didn't understand his words. "Touch her again, Ignia," he growled. "Touch her and I'll forget that I'm a Fairy Tail Wizard with morals. I'll forget you're Igneel's son. I'll fucking kill you, you hear me?"
Lucy flinched. Ignia just lifted one eyebrow. "You'll kill me? For her?"
"Yes, for her."
The Dragon God had laughed, like that idea had been completely absurd. "She isn't even yours."
"The fuck she is!"
Back then Lucy had been too caught up in her shock and confusion of losing her first kiss, of the heat of Natsu's body against hers and her anger at Ignia that she had just assumed that Natsu had been claiming her as his partner. As family. Not once had the thought crossed her mind that he had meant that she was his. Not even when he had been standing over Ignia's bloody body almost an hour later. Not when his entire body had been covered in those crimson scales, large dragon-like wings hanging from his back and those wicked sharp horns curled on top his head. A God. Or a Demon. Lucy hadn't been sure. She'd only been thinking about stopping him from delivering on his promise to Ignia.
So she'd done the thing she always did in moments like these. She'd hugged him, drawing him back from his rage. Back to her. Where he belonged. And Natsu had allowed her to ground him with her soothing touches and whispered words.
It's okay.
I've got you Natsu.
I'm here.
Until he was her Natsu once more, the oddities of his E.N.D transformation disappearing into his flesh. Only then did she release him. He'd turned to her and pulled her back to him, hugging her tightly, his breath shuddering against her neck, his body trembling against hers. And even then Lucy hadn't let the thought cross her mind. Of just how important she was to him. That him almost losing her yet again was what had triggered that transformation. Had made him gone berserk. Had made him shed tears, so much tears when he thought he had lost her. Again.
"I can't do this," he'd whispered against her. "I can't lose you. I won't survive."
And now that the chaos of the day was finally over, now that she was alone with her thoughts she started piecing it all together. Natsu's reactions. All of his reactions. The ones she had assumed were just friendly. Natsu's way of doing things. Of showing his love. His familial love. But the way he had acted today...There was nothing familial about the way he'd staked his claim on her to Ignia. Or the way he'd screamed her name when she'd been hit by Ignia's flames. The way he'd exploded and rampaged and had beaten Ignia half to death. Not even the gentle way he'd held her to his chest and cried. He'd sobbed. Begging Wendy to heal her. Screamed at his teammates who had no way of helping him in that moment to do something. Save her. Bring her back. Or else...or else...
"I can't exist without you, Luce," he'd whispered against her neck as she drifted away, the pain slowly dragging her toward unconsciousness.
Those words hadn't been borne of familial love for her. And now that she'd finally allowed herself to truly stop and think about it she realized that Natsu had never treated her the same as he did everyone else. She had been the first person he'd asked to be his teammate. After years of being a member of the guild he'd still always been a loner. But yet he met her and wanted her alone. His soft encouraging words. His over protectiveness. Even his constant breaking into her house. It had always only been her. Not because she was his best friend. Not because she was his teammate. Not even because he considered her his family. But because...
Lucy shot up in the bed, her breaths rapid, her heart beating wildly. She was such an idiot. Why hadn't she seen it before?
Natsu...
She was out of her room, racing down the hallway before she even knew what came over her. She knocked on Natsu's door then froze as she realized what she'd done. What was she even about to do? It was the middle of the night. Was she really about to confess to Natsu at this hour without any solid proof that he felt the same for her aside from her manic overthinking?
The door opened before she could change her mind and hurry back to her room. Natsu stood there wearing only a pair of pants and rubbing sleep from his eyes. His hair was mussed up cutely, signalling to the fact that he'd probably just rolled out of bed. He blinked blearily at her standing there.
"Oh, hey Lucy," he opened the door wider. Just like that. No questions asked about why she was knocking on his door at such an hour. It didn't matter to him. She was here and she belonged in his room with him. "You coming?" he asked when she hesitated outside the door. She nodded slowly and he closed the door behind her when she finally stepped inside.
"I didn't mean to wake you," she murmured, suddenly too shy to meet his gaze.
"Wasn't sleeping," he lied easily because the words were followed by the biggest yawn she had even seen.
"Sure," she chuckled. "I was actually expecting you to sneak into my bed like you always do."
His gaze slowly dipped down her body, to the bandages that covered her arms and torso beneath her shirt. Something dark flashed in his eyes before he averted his gaze. "You're still hurt. I didn't want to disturb you," he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. "You need to heal properly."
"I know..." she blushed. "I just...sleep better with you next to me, I guess."
His eyebrows rose. "Really?"
"Yeah. So can I...stay here with you?"
He was already nodding. She smiled her thanks and he slowly returned it, his lips tugging up at one corner. Lucy felt that same rush of adrenaline she'd felt before when she decided to show up at his door announced. Her feet moved and the next second she was throwing her body against his. He caught her as she hugged him, his arms wrapping around her back though he stumbled back a couple steps.
"Whoa. Hey, careful. Your wounds," he chastised her softly but still pulled her closer, returning her impromptu hug. "What's wrong?"
She shook her head against his neck. "Nothing. Just...thank you, Natsu."
"What're you thanking me for?"
"Everything. For saving me like you always do. For protecting me. For being here."
His arms tightened around her. "You don't need to thank me for those things, Luce," he breathed but his head dropped to her neck, nuzzling against her. He inhaled deeply. "I almost lost you today," he whispered.
"But you didn't. You saved me and that's why I'm thanking you."
"I should've killed him."
She shook her head. "I wouldn't have let you. That's not who you are, Natsu. You're nothing like him."
"He almost..." His breath escaped him shakily. "If Wendy hadn't gotten there on time you could've..."
She pulled back, holding his cheeks in her hands to make sure she had his attention. "Hey. That didn't happen okay? I'm okay. And you defeated Ignia without needing to lose your humanity to do it."
His gaze dropped. "But I did...I lost control."
"Anyone would've in that situation."
He reached up, his fingers gripping hers against his cheek. "I didn't want you seeing me like that. I hate that form."
She gently turned his head back to her. "Natsu. You saved me. You saved everyone. And E N.D is a part of you. It doesn't matter what you look like. You're still Natsu. You're still..." She trailed off when his gaze lifted to hers and locked as if he could hear her unspoken words. You're still the man I love with everything that I am. "C'mon," she murmured, hating the way her voice cracked. "It's late. Let's get some sleep."
She led him over to the bed and released his hand so she could pull back the covers. They moved around each other, this dance a familiar one. Until they were both under the covers facing each other. She sighed softly, contentedly.
"This is much better."
His eyebrows rose questioningly. "What do you mean?"
"I..." She fought her blush. "I just feel safer and more comfortable when you're sleeping next to me."
"Oh," he smiled, his eyes softening. "Then you don't mind if I keep sleeping in your bed when we go back home?"
She shook her head. "I don't mind."
That smile widened and he moved closer, his warm hand settling on her hip. "Good."
Her smile slowly faded the longer she watched him. He held her gaze and time seemed to freeze around them until there was nothing but him and her and a thousand unsaid words lingering between them.
I love you. I love you so much Natsu. I have for so long. And I think you love me too but I'm terrified to ask. And I'm terrified to tell you how I feel because I don't want you to reject me. I don't want you to hate me. I can't lose you so please say something. Please do something-anything so that I know that I'm not wrong. Please don't make me be the first to say it.
She said nothing and neither did he. After another long moment she allowed her eyes to close.
"Good night," she murmured.
"Night, Luce," was Natsu's soft reply.
Maybe another day. Someday when she was brave enough she would be able to finally tell him. But until then, she would be content to just remain in his presence just like this.
A smile pulled at her lips as she felt Natsu's grip tighten on her as he pulled her closer, until she was tucked against him. Her fist clenched against his chest as he settled her against him. And she slowly drifted off to the sound of his heart beating so quickly in his chest.
Someday...
But even in the depths of her slumber she felt it. The soft brush of warm lips against her forehead, then her cheeks, then her own lips. They lingered a second too long.
"Lucy..."
Natsu's voice floated around the edges of her consciousness. Calling to her. But she didn't wake. She slept, missing the rest of his words. The words she had been dying to hear while awake. But he was just as terrified as she was. So he waited until he was sure she was asleep so she couldn't hear the breathless words whispered against her lips.
"I love you."