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Angel let out a sigh, probably his fifth or sixth in the last twenty minutes and looked up from his phone to see he’d slid so far down the sofa in the hotel parlor his ass was hanging off and his legs were basically folded on the floor beneath him. Not only that, but his skirt was riding up his thighs and another minute of sliding he was sure would have left his underwear exposed.
He glanced around to see if anyone had noticed he was about to fall off the couch and found Husk and Vaggie at the bar, the former scribbling something in a notebook - probably some drink recipe or something he wanted to try - and the latter shining her spear with a rag of a little jar of polish on the bar beside her. Niffty was running around the hallway area between the parlor and the bar with a sewing needle held high above her head, chasing a beetle. And finally, his eyes landed on Alastor who sat in the parlor with Angel, in his usual chair, one leg crossed over the other, a book Angel couldn’t make out the title of in his hands.
“Were literally none of you going to tell me I was about to fall off the couch onto my ass?” Angel asked as he sat upright, tugging his skirt back down to where it was supposed to sit. Not that he really had an issue with people seeing him in his panties or anything - after all, what was Hell’s favorite porn star if he was shy about his body? - but the last time he’d accidentally flashed someone in the hotel he’d been scolded by Vaggie for the next week about it. So he just did his best not to let it happen anymore.
“We were taking bets on if you would look up before you fell or after.” Husk said without looking up from his scribblings. “You owe me ten bucks by the way.”
Vaggie rolled her eye and reached into her pocket, pulling out a crumpled bill and setting it on the bar by Husk who took it and stuffed it into his own pocket.
“Rude.” Angel huffed. “Next time at least let people know there’s a bet going so everyone can partake.”
Husk gave a snort of laughter in response.
Angel grinned and glanced over to Alastor. “Were you part of this bet too?”
“I was not.” Alastor answered, looking up from his book. “I wouldn’t have partaken anyway. I don’t bet on such trivial matters as my boyfriend falling on his ass.”
Boyfriend. The word clanged through Angel’s head like a gong. He still wasn’t used to being called that by anyone really, after all, not even Val had ever called him his boyfriend in the time they’d been together. Which, okay, maybe Angel should have clocked that as the red flag it was but he’d never really claimed to be the smartest tack in the box and especially not when it came to Valentino.
But hearing it from Alastor almost felt surreal. In all the time Angel had spent at the hotel, he’d thought he would wear Husk down before he’d ever get anywhere with Alastor. And yet, when the deer had approached him a couple months ago and asked him to dinner, well… it had sort of felt right after that and they’d been basically inseparable ever since. Well, when they were both at the hotel, anyway.
“Can I ask you a question, petite araignée?”
“You can ask but that don’t mean I’m gonna answer, il mio cervo.”
Alastor’s smile twitched a bit at the nickname from Angel, growing the smallest bit wider. “You’ve sighed approximately seven times over the course of the past half hour that I’ve been sitting down here with you. Are you quite alright?”
“Oh, I’m fine.” Angel laid down on the couch on his stomach, kicking his feet behind him, chin in his hands as he looked at Alastor. “Just bored I guess. I dunno, I just kinda feel like I got all this energy in my body right now and nothin’ to do with it. Like I wanna go break something or fuck someone just to have something to do, yanno?”
Alastor gave a hum of acknowledgement and closed his book. “Well, I’m afraid I can’t help you on the fucking front,” he said with a weary look that Angel waved off. They’d talked about the idea of sex together when they’d first agreed to start dating and Angel was very well aware and perfectly fine with the fact that it may never happen. Alastor didn’t find enjoyment in sex in the same way Angel did which was honestly fine. Angel had his job which helped him get his fill to be satisfied for the most part. Would he like to have sex with Alastor? Yeah, maybe one day. He was curious to see what the great and powerful Radio Demon was packing but he wasn’t going to push it and make Alastor uncomfortable or anything. “But I may be able to help you on the breaking something front.”
That made Angel perk up. “Yeah? You got some enemies that need their car windows smashed?”
Alastor gave a jovial laugh. “Oh more than just car windows my darling. Do bring your guns, won’t you?”
Angel gave Alastor a devious smile and sat upright. “Oh fuck yes. I’m gonna go change and I’ll meet ya back down here in ten.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
Okay, so maybe it was fifteen minutes later but Angel made it back downstairs in a pair of jeans, a white t-shirt with some band on it he’d never actually listened to and therefore wouldn’t care of the shirt got blood on it and a black leather jacket thrown over top, a wooden baseball bat slung over his shoulder. “Alright, I’m ready to go fuck some bitches up!”
Alastor stood by the bar speaking to Husk, Vaggie now nowhere to be found, dressed in his usual attire, microphone clasped behind his back, glancing up when Angel came in. His eyes roved down Angel’s body appreciatively before landing on the baseball bat he held. “What is that?” He asked, confusion clearly written on his face.
“My bat.” Angel said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I have my guns too, don’t worry, but sometimes it’s really fun to get right up on a guy and smash his brains in when he ain’t lookin’.”
Alastor hummed and stepped up to Angel, holding his hand out for the bat which Angel handed over without fuss. “Yes, just as I thought.” Alastor held the bat out so Angel could see where there was a barely visible crack by the handle. “Your bat is splintering, my dear. One good hit and it will shatter. And that simply won’t do.”
“Well it’s my only- hey what are you doing?” Angel asked as Alastor tossed the bat in the air where it disappeared in a puff of green smoke. “Al! That was my only bat!”
Alastor didn’t answer, just gave an airy hum. “Hold your hands out before you. A little farther apart, yes like that.”
Angel stared bewildered at his boyfriend, standing there like an idiot with his two top hands held out, palms up like he was a kid asking for candy from a stranger. Alastor hummed as he twirled his microphone expertly around one hand, waving his other hand in the air before Angel, almost like he was showing off. Angel was about ready to give him crap for being a show off when a weight finally appeared in his hands. He looked down, eyes wide to find a black metal baseball bat with metallic pink spider webbing etched all the way down the bat to the handle and a strawberry red bow tied around the end.
“Wha- Alastor, what is this?”
Alastor hummed. “Consider it a belated birthday present.”
Angel looked up from the bat, going a little teary. “Al, you didn’t have to. My birthday was two days ago and you already got me way more presents than I needed.”
It was true. Alastor had gone all out for Angel’s birthday, claiming that such a day when someone as wonderful as Angel was brought into the world deserved celebrating. He’d made Angel blush just with those words only to immediately follow them up with way too many presents and a large slice of triple chocolate cake he’d made himself. Angel wasn’t really one for sweets normally, but that cake had been so good he’d been more than willing to risk the toothache he knew the sugar would give him.
“I insist, mon cher.” Alastor said as Angel stared back down at the bat in his hands. “Your other bat was on its last leg. Now you don’t have to worry about this one smashing to bits when you hit someone. Metal is much more sturdy than wood anyway.”
Angel gave a breathy laugh and moved the bat to his lower hand, stepping forward and throwing his upper arm around Alastor’s neck, squeezing him tight before he pulled back and pressed a kiss to his lips that left Alastor wide eyed and speechless. They’d also agreed when they started dating that PDA would be kept to a minimum as the Radio Demon didn’t much enjoy it but, well, it was only Husk in the lobby with them now and he was barely paying any attention to them so Angel figured it was safe.
When he pulled back, Alastor blinked at him, his lips pressed in a line though they were still turned up in his ever present smile. He didn’t look mad but still Angel took a step back, feeling like maybe he shouldn’t have done that.
“Huh.” Husk grunted from the bar. “Never seen anyone who could shock Alastor into silence before. Good job, legs.”
Angel threw a playful glare over his shoulder to Husk then turned back to Alastor. “Cervo?” He asked, reaching a hesitant hand out for Alastor to take if he wanted it. “Fragola?” Angel thought for a second, trying to think of other cute nicknames he could call Alastor that the deer wouldn’t understand until he asked Angel what they meant later. “Torta di ciliegie?”
Alastor blinked and tilted his head at Angel, taking his outstretched hand gently in his. “My apologies, mon ange. You simply took me by surprise.”
“Sorry.” Angel felt his face flush sheepishly. “Should I not have done that?”
“It’s quite alright. I’m glad you like your gift.”
That made Angel smile and part of him wanted to kiss Alastor again but he didn’t want to send the poor deer into another shock. “‘Course I like it. I’ve liked all the presents you’ve given me.”
Alastor nodded and turned away but not before Angel thought he saw a faint blush on his cheeks. He started walking toward the door and Angel followed easily. “Well, come along darling. We’ve got things to smash.”
The things to smash turned out to be demon’s heads but Angel was okay with that. He didn’t get the chance very often to get into street fights anymore since moving into the hotel and making an actual effort to be a good person so any opportunity that presented itself to blow off some steam, he was more than willing to take.
“So, what, does this guy owe you money or something?”
“Not quite.” Alastor hummed as they walked through what appeared to be a deserted part of Downtown, but Angel knew better. He could practically feel the eyes on his back with each step he took. “My friend Rosie put me onto this man. He’s got territory and souls and not enough “goons” as she put it to help him keep it all in check. And he’s not nearly smart enough to do it himself.”
“Well of course not. Not everyone can rise through the ranks like you, Al.”
“Not if I have anything to say about it.”
Angel shivered. He loved when Alastor’s voice took on the devious tone that said he was ready for a fight. It was far too sexy for Angel’s good.
As they walked further along, Angel pulled two handguns out of the pocket dimension he kept his guns in and held them steady in his lower hands, his top hands occupied by his brand new bat, the ribbon still tied around it and everything. He could sense a fight was coming as they kept walking and he’d be damned if he wasn’t ready for it.
After another minute of walking, Alastor finally came to a stop as a demon who appeared to be some sort of alligator or crocodile - Angel never could tell the difference - stepped out before them, arms crossed. Angel stopped in his tracks next to Alastor, guns aimed at the man before them, ready to fire if the need arose.
“Ah!” Alastor called, tapping the stem of his microphone to the ground and leaning on it. “I was beginning to wonder when you would make yourself known, my good man! You may call me Alastor, it’s quite the pleasure to be meeting you!”
“I know who the fuck you are.” The other demon said, “What do you want, Radio Demon.”
Angel looked over at Alastor to see his eyes narrow ever so slightly, though nothing else about his face changed. “You know, it’s considered rude not to return an introduction upon a first meeting.”
“I don’t give two shits what you consider rude. Either tell me what the fuck you want or I’ll give my guys the go ahead to take you and your whore out in one shot.”
The screech that rang through the air once those words left the demon’s mouth made Angel cringe. Part of him wanted to cover his ears at the noise but he held his ground, guns and bat gripped tight in his hands.
“I’m very sorry, but it seems I misheard you.” Alastor said, voice taking on that demonic tone of his as his eyes turned to radio dials. “Would you mind repeating yourself?”
The demon before them had the good sense to back up a step at the change to Alastor, making Angel grin. At least, until he heard the unmistakable crunch of glass just to his right. He whipped his head to the side and lifted his gun without thinking, shooting the demon who was approaching Alastor with a bat wrapped in barbed wire right between the eyes. Crimson blood sprayed and the demon fell back to the ground, double dead before his head hit.
Alastor looked over to him, then to Angel as if making sure he was the one who’d just had a goon about to try to take him out before turning his gaze back to the demon before them. And when Angel looked back to him, he found that he wasn’t alone. He now had two other goons standing behind him and more creeping their way out of alley’s and houses on either side and behind him and Alastor. Looked like the guy Angel had shot had merely been a distraction. Angel couldn’t believe he’d fallen for it. He’d been in the fucking mafia for fucks sake. He was better than that.
He looked down at Alastor who shared a look with him, both their lips twitching up into matching smiles. “You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?” Angel asked.
“I would be disappointed if not.”
“God you’re a fox.”
Alastor chuckled and took one of Angel’s hands from the bat and pressed a quick kiss to it before he took a step forward and slammed the stem of his microphone into the ground, four large black and green tentacles sprouting out of his back. “Well I must admit, this has been fun! Unfortunately, the fun has to end eventually.” The tentacles shot forward, ends sharpened like knives slicing through four of the men at the same time as Angel took out two more with bullets between the eyes.
That’s where the fight really started. Demons ran at the two of them from all sides but they were prepared. They stood back to back, slicing and shooting through demons like they were still targets, and any that got too close got a bat to the head.
“Eat lead, motha fucka!” Angel yelled with a cackle as he shot a demon straight in the mouth then bashed his head in with the bat for good measure. Angel couldn’t see what Alastor was doing but he could feel his tentacles brush against his back every so often and could hear the sound of canned laughter from him so he knew he was fine.
They kept at this for a while, until Angel was buzzing with excitement and there were no men left to kill. Well, except for one.
Angel turned around once the goons stopped coming and found the only man left standing was the alligator demon they’d originally come to meet with. He stood with his fists clenched at his sides, surrounded by the bloodshed of his men, looking angry.
“Well, my good man, it appears you have two options.” Alastor said, tentacles vanishing as he leisurely strolled toward the alligator. “Option one, the far more fun option in my personal opinion, I let my darling Angel here bash your skull in with his bat and put you out of yours and my misery.” Angel grinned, following behind Alastor, tapping his bat against his palm. “Or option two,” Alastor held a hand out, glowing green. “You make a deal with me for yours and all the other souls you’ve acquired and I won’t kill you. Yet.”
“So either I die now or I die later?” The alligator barked a laugh. “That’s a shitty deal.”
Alastor shrugged. “Well, unfortunately for you, it’s the only one I’m offering. Now choose. You have ten seconds.”
A ticking noise started from Alastor and he tapped his foot on the ground, each tap counting down the seconds.
Ten, nine, eight…
Angel’s grip on his bat tightened, ready to swing the second Alastor stepped out of his way.
Seven, six, five…
The alligator demon’s yellow eyes flashes and he bared his teeth, looking briefly from Alastor to Angel then back, his eye twitching.
Four, three…
Angel’s lips turned up in a grin when Alastor stepped out of his way, using his can to tap out the seconds now instead of his foot.
Two…
“Alright! Alright, fine, I’ll take your deal!”
Angel lowered his bat as the alligator lunged forward just before Alastor could place the final tap of his staff on the ground and took his glowing hand, giving it a shake.
“Excellent choice!” Alastor all but sang, shaking the man's hand. “I’ll have a formal contract sent over for you to sign later this afternoon. And don’t even think of running.” Alastor’s eyes turned to radio dials again as he pulled the guy even closer. “I’ll find you.”
The alligator watched wide eyed as his and Alastor’s hands glowed an almost blindingly bright green that Angel had to look away from it until it dimmed once more. Then the Radio Demon let the guy go and he ran the other way, clearly seeing the threat in Alastors eyes and smartly taking it for what it was.
As the guy ran away, Alastor twirled his mic around one hand, the other swiping dust from his jacket and turned to Angel. “Apologies you didn't get the chance to bash one last head in, my darling.”
“Eh, it's fine.” Angel said with a shrug. “Seeing him run off with his tail between his legs was good enough for me.”
Alastor chuckled and stopped spinning his microphone, smacking the end of it on the ground to use like a cane, holding his other arm out to Angel. “Thank you for accompanying me on this outing. I hope it helped you feel a bit calmer.”
Angel looped his arm through Alastors and walked with him. “It did actually. I don't feel all full of energy anymore. In fact, I'm actually kinda tired now. Maybe we can go back home and have a nice snuggle in my bed with Nuggets?”
“That sounds wonderful, my beautiful Angel.” Alastor hummed a tune as they headed back toward the hotel. “So you had a good time then? This was a good date?”
Angel’s lips twitched and he looked down at Alastor. He really liked when Alastor showed his vulnerable side, even with simple questions like asking Angel if he enjoyed their outings together. And hearing him say the word “date” still managed to send a thrill straight through Angel. “Oh baby, this was an absolutely smashing date.”
Alastor let out a surprised but pleased laugh and pulled Angel along, a happy whistling tune following them as they headed home.