Chapter Text
Reiner sighed, eyes closed in exhaustion as he leant against the tree. It was hard and uncomfortable, but it’s not like he had any other choice.
Below, he could hear the familiar thumps and noises of the various little titans that clawed desperately at the bark, a futile attempt to feed on the humans above. He hoped the nightfall would shut them up.
“Are you okay?”
He opened his eyes at the sudden question, chest still heaving from the adrenaline of the last few…minutes? Hours? He wasn’t even sure.
In front of him, Bertholdt was knelt down. His face was still branded by his use in the colossal titan, and he was also missing an arm. Honestly, with the amount of steam he had let out, Reiner is shocked he’s not unconscious like the two sprawled out on the branch below.
Reiner nodded after a moment, his mind finally catching up to him. He looked down, noticing how he was mostly doing okay. He could feel the warmth on his face, however, and he knew it would take a while for them to fade.
“Yeah, Yeah…I’m fine.” He breathed out. He studied the boy opposite him once again, and his concern highetened. “Are you alright?”
Bertholdt let out a breath at the reply, and he fidgeted to sit down beside him. “Mhm. My arm won’t take too long to heal.” His eyes glanced over to the branch below, with his pupils constricting as soon as he ripped them away from the blonde. “I don’t think they’ll be waking up for a while.”
Reiner followed his gaze, and he soon came to agree. Ymir was still gravely injured from her reveal at Utgard Castle, with her healing being significantly slower than the conscious pair. She had been asleep throughout the whole…ordeal, which meant she had no idea what had happened.
It's not like she never had her suspicions of them, and Reiner knew he didn’t necessarily help himself when he noticed her ability to read a language he never would’ve expected to have seen on this island. But surely something like this would catch anyone off guard, it’s not like he didn’t see the reactions of all his former comrades—
Devils. That’s what he meant.
Reiner shook his head. “Probably not. Eren’s just as wounded as Ymir.” He gestured over to the brunette boy, who was missing basically all of his limbs. He put up a good fight against Reiner — especially using the moves Annie had taught him over the years — but he wasn’t a match for a titan he had no experience with.
Bertholdt didn’t answer, instead continued to stare over at them in some form of a haze. It didn't look like he was actually looking at them, checking on them — but instead staring through them. Steam constantly faded away from his arm, leaving a sense of warmth that had been lost over the past day. It wasn’t even winter.
Reiner swallowed as his body finally appeared to calm down. He knew that using his titan would tire him out for a bit, but this felt so different. Maybe it was the nature of his transformation, and how he had fought someone the exact same size as him instead of causing destruction below his feet.
He looked back over at Bertholdt, who remained the same. When he eventually ripped his eyes away from the two below, he didn’t meet the amber orbs focused on him.
Was he mad at him?
He let out a breath, not expecting the wobbliness. Bertholdt seldom got angry or frustrated. He got overwhelmed which could lead to a lower patience for people, but it’s not like he was ever fond of groups in the first place. To see him avoid his gaze, shut his mouth and make no effort to move closer to him, Reiner felt like all the signs were blaring that he had annoyed, or god forbid, hurt Bertholdt.
He couldn’t think of anything else he wanted to do less.
However, as the events circled around in his mind, repeating all that had occurred in the past hour, he soon realised.
Reiner didn’t hesitate. He turned his body ever so slightly so he faced the black-haired teen more, and he tried to soften his expression.
“Thanks. For, y’know…saving my ass.” Reiner muttered quietly. Not reluctantly, more thoughtfully. He fidgeted awkwardly. “I needed your help back there, or things could’ve gone a lot differently.”
Bertholdt didn’t meet his look. He heard the words, as Reiner could spot the smallest change with the glint in his eye. Instead of answering back immediately, the boy sat himself down on the branch, pulling his knees up to his chest and hugging his shins.
“You don’t need to thank me.” His voice was meek, quiet, hollow. “You screamed out, you were in pain…I was just doing what I thought you wanted me to do.”
Reiner’s mouth went dry. He knew that the whole thing was spontaneous and not at all what they loosely had planned, but he didn’t even consider that maybe Bertholdt hadn’t had enough time to even process what had happened, let alone adjust or get in the right headspace. He had just…done it.
But time was running out. He had no clue how his mom was doing, neither his little cousins and his aunt and uncle. He missed so much back from home, and he knew Bertholdt did too. He couldn’t even fathom the worry and longing he had in his heart for his father, the fear he must have over the possibility of returning home and finding an empty home and a simple condolences letter.
Any longer, and it might not have all even been worth it.
But this didn't change Bertholdt’s feelings. Reiner’s desires that fueled the unprompted reveal wasn’t something he could visualise and understand.
He started to reach a hand out, yet fought against it. If Bertholdt wasn’t even looking his way right now, the chances of having any wish to be touched was low.
“Still, thank you. I know this was all…” A massive shitshow. “…a lot, yet you stayed strong and endured a lot.” He replied, with a small smile on his face.
Bertholdt nodded, taking in a deep breath.
“Like you said, we will go home.”
Reiner’s anxious grin flourished, and he swore his heart started thumping louder. God, what did he do to ever warrant such a loyal friend?
“Mhm.” He confirmed, eyebrows furrowed in confidence. When the other boy’s expression did not alter, continuing in the half-focused manner it had been before, the blonde sighed. He repeated Armin’s words in his mind, with many attempts to quell the squander of worries that fluttered from it.
“Annie will come home too. She’s going to be fine.” He reassured. He knew how unlikely it was, that they were actually torturing her. Not only would she absolutely not allow such, but she would more likely endure a harsher experience than what Eren received. That’s if she was even awake, so to speak.
But he knew Bertholdt would still worry nonetheless, he would let Armin’s words pierce into his skin, fill up his mind and force him to believe. Just like he let everything else.
Reiner inched closer, his voice gentle. “She is fine. Don’t fall for Armin’s lies. What use would they find out of torturing her? Realistically, at the speck of blood she would’ve already transformed and destroyed them all.”
Bertholdt looked down, tightening his embrace around his legs. “I guess so.”
Reiner’s demeanour shifted, and he leaned closer towards the other scout— warrior. He remained with his soft smile, however. “And your father is okay.”
That caused Bertholdt to look over, eyes wide and expression uncertain. Frankly, he was baffled on how Reiner could tell that was one of the many thoughts and worries filling his brain. “You think so?” He responded, voice wavering.
The smaller nodded, and he reached his arm out. A question. The taller allowed, and he soon felt the familiar sensation of security once the hand wrapped around his shoulders.
“I know so. If he’s anything like you, he’ll be doing everything he can to see you again.”
Bertholdt’s face went pink, as he averted his gaze for a few moments. Reiner couldn’t conceal his amusement, letting out a huff of air from his nose along with his grin. He then noticed how much more lax the boy had become so suddenly, as if the tension had oozed out of him with the simple words he had reassured him with. Not that he didn’t believe them to be true (because he had met his father and they are near enough the exact same person), but because he was quite amazed a simple sentence of his can cause such. After all of these years, he’s not sure how he’s the one that can quell his friend’s deepest worries and thoughts.
He’s grateful, though. Immensely.
Bertholdt leaned in a little. The colour on his face hadn’t changed much. “Hopefully. I’m…I’m excited I’ll get to see him soon.”
With the increase in expectations, Reiner doesn’t suppress the pride swelling in his chest and throat. He gently patted Bertholdt’s shoulder, mindful of any pain that may come from the steaming arm.
“Me too. I’m excited to see my mom, and little Gabi. She was so upset that I had to go that she smacked me, remember?” He giggled at the memory, and of the reactions of his family. It was bittersweet, but he had never seen so many proud faces before. He hoped they remained once he stepped onto the familiar concrete.
Bertholdt nodded, a coy grin glued on his face. Reiner wished he laughed more. “That was adorable — and hilarious. Do you think she’s gotten more or less rowdy?”
“Ideally, she would’ve calmed down,” He began, and he soon noticed the attentive look the younger was giving him. The way his eyes were so seriously focused on such a silly answer, how he didn’t look back at the others for a second…it was something he couldn’t identify. It felt amazing, though. “But realistically, we all know what she’s like now.”
“Yeah, exactly like you.”
Reiner was physically and emotionally taken aback by the witty reply, his mouth opened in comedic disbelief. He knew his partner wasn’t opposed to banter, but damn.
“Rude…” He simply huffed out, a smirk on his face. Bertholdt reached a hand to cover his mouth, and the blonde swore he could hear a light laugh from behind. He wished he could’ve seen it.
The mood settled, drawing back to the topic of what life would probably look like upon their return.
“I’m sure she got into the warrior program just fine. She started walking so early on, and she was always so hyperactive.” Reiner added on, recalling all the time he was tackled to the ground by a very energetic toddler. Her parents barely even gave her sugar, too.
Bertholdt agreed. “She’s probably made a few friends, too. People were always drawn to her.”
Reiner shrugged, laughing to himself. “That, or she found someone on the first day and forced them to be friends with her.” She was a very assertive girl, even at a young age. That by no means meant she was rude, but she knew what she wanted and was quite literally the most confident infant both boys knew.
The olive-eyed boy’s smile softened, and he let his legs sprawl out.
“I wonder if she befriended someone the opposite of her.”
Amber eyes twinkled in the sun, and he couldn’t rip his eyes away. Not that he wanted to. It wouldn’t even take the consciousness of the two opposite them.
“I’m sure she found the shyest person there and glued them to her side.”
Bertholdt laughed once more, this time unbothered about displaying his mouth to seemingly the only person in the world right now. Why should he? After all, they’ve been stuck together since they were young.
Reiner was sure time had slowed down as he stared— no, admired. The way his eyes squinted, how his mouth curved upwards and displayed such decorative dimples, and how his cheeks would turn ever so slightly pink no matter what was said about him, even behind the markings he so evidently despised (for some stupid reason, Reiner believed).
He had stared and studied this face for years, knowing what every single twitch or look meant more than the guy did himself, and yet he would never get tired of seeing it in full. Quite the opposite, really. Whatever energy that had previously escaped had returned, and gave him the urge to run laps around the entire forest, and take his hand with him.
“Hey, Reiner…”
He quickly snapped up. Oh God, was he staring for long?! At least now there’d no longer be an audience to poke fun at his gawking. Was that a good thing? He was unsure. He sat, now slightly embarrassed, and waited for his friend to continue.
Bertholdt’s voice was curious, soft. “When we go home, will we still be together?”
His reaction came quickly, equally split between a bewildered and comical expression. Why on earth would he even need to ask this? Does Bertholdt believe that he isn’t something more than just a comrade to him, that will abandon him when their mission is complete? Does he believe the friendship they had solidified since they were little was only for the benefit of Marley?
“Hey…” Reiner approached, twisting his body so he was fully facing the tall boy opposite him. The arm that had previously been looped around his shoulder pulled away, only to reach out for the healed hand. He accepted, and soon calloused fingers wrapped around smoothed skin. “Why would you even suggest that, Bertl?”
Bertholdt didn’t answer. Does he even need to? He’s certain Reiner’s already been able to deduce why he’d believe such. It was possible to hide himself from everyone else but him. He squeezed his palm.
“Of course we’ll still be together. I came to you on the first day of tryouts because you looked like a good friend, a good person.” He started, not looking away from his eyes. “You mean more to me than anything. You think I’d just toss you aside without a care in the world when we get back?” The question was rhetorical, both boys knew the answer. They both knew if Reiner ever did anything close to what he had said, it would decay him from the inside out. Not that he wouldn’t already be decayed from the decision.
Reiner leaned in closer, and his hand reached up to hold Bertholdt’s face so gently, to thumb across the hot imprints on his face with a sensation soothing enough to cool it. He couldn’t ignore the blush on his face, either.
“We’re going to be Honorary Marlyeans together.”
Bertholdt’s smile returned, and this time Reiner hoped it remained. “Yeah. Thank you.” He replied quietly, tilting his head to lean further into the broad hand relieving the discomfort on his face. “You always know what to say to me.”
“I’m glad I have that superpower.” He joked, yet the dulcet tone in his voice remained.
Bertholdt stared back, in awe over the boy literally inches away from him. His mouth was slightly parted, but that didn’t hide the amazed smile on his face. Day after day, he questioned how he deserves such a caring, attentive friend. Someone that was so patient with him that it washed away all the memories of being yelled at and berated for the smallest slip up or behaviour that was unfamiliar. It made no sense that he would be graced with someone so nice, but by God he would not take a second of it for granted.
He was careful whilst he looped his steaming arm around Reiner’s waist, mindful about burning his back even though it would simply result in more steam. He positioned his hand carefully, and he nudged the boy forward whilst he chuckled warmly.
The blonde’s smile persisted as he looked away from the new feeling, and he looked back up at the orbs practically neighbouring his. He’d noticed the twinge of grey hidden in pale green years ago, but he still made a note to point out the perfect imperfection every time he got close enough. And he was close enough this time.
Close enough…
At this point, his movements are not his own (but is that such a bad thing, considering he’d been too much of a wuss to do it before?). He leaned forward, impossibly closer until he could feel the tickle of Bertholdt’s breath against his skin. When he didn’t notice any discomfort or clear signs of aversion, he pushed forward.
They met each other once again, however this time with the burst of warmth at their lips. Bertholdt’s arm tightened around the waist as they deepened, and Reiner’s hand remained in place, running his thumb up and down the lines of his marks with a newfound ease.
They pull away after a moment, with both eyes wide and full of wonder. Any hints of exhaustion from the past few days has seemingly vanished, with only sparkles of care, trust and love remaining.
Another moment passed, and Reiner continued. He tilted his head up once again, and waited for Bertholdt to tilt his down before meeting once more. He ignored the rough feeling, because behind it there was that same sensation of softness and tenderness he had become accustomed to in every other aspect of his partner.
Plus, his lips were just as chapped. And it didn’t appear to affect Bertholdt in any way.
The second time they pulled back, Bertholdt shuffled his body further. Reiner wasn’t sure if that was his cue to stop, but he didn’t want to continue anyway. Instead, he wanted to admire.
The pink that was previously powdered on the talker’s face had now transformed into more of a crimson colour, and they attacked his ears this time too. Although it was admittedly very funny to look at, that didn’t dispel his unbelievable beauty. God, how had Reiner managed to keep away until now? His friend was gorgeous.
When nothing was said, the only noise being their heavy breaths, the blonde took it as his que to speak up.
“Are you okay?” He asked gently, and he really hoped his face matched his feelings. If not, then Reiner will just go and bury himself in a ditch for eternity.
Bertholdt snapped his eyes down to the boy, as if he had been in some kind of haze or world of his own. Once he processed the question, his lips curved into a relieved smile, and he nodded slightly. “Yeah.” He tugged on Reiner’s arm, urging him closer. “More than okay.”
He didn’t embrace the boy, however. Instead Bertholdt shifted his grip to Reiner’s wrist, and he pulled his hand up towards his face again.
Ah, so that’s what he wants. Reiner chuckled. He obeyed and fit his hand back onto Bertholdt’s face, with this thumb gently going across the fading marks under his eyes and cheek. He didn’t flinch away even when small amounts of steam would come from the flesh, because it’s not like he can’t heal it off too.
“Finally, they’re fading…” Bertholdt sighed in relief. “I don’t understand why facial marks are always the last thing to go. I wish they were the first.”
Reiner raised an eyebrow. “What? You don’t like yours?”
“No…not really. They’re so— pronounced, compared to everyone else’s.” He sighed, averting his gaze. “They’re jarring to me, I guess.”
Reiner could not believe what he was hearing.
Did– did he seriously believe that about himself? That his markings were odd, atypical, ugly? That they weren’t something to be appreciated simply because they were different to everyone else? Yeah. That was unbelievable.
He’d admired the first time he had seen the markings; when they were both still young and Reiner couldn’t identify what he had felt or why it was so strong in his chest. Back when the only thing he worried about each day was when he would next see his best friend, when they could next play or train together.
And he continued to stare in awe years later, even when his hands were stained with blood and he wasn’t sure when they’d next be at peace together. When now he had to protect and fight on as much as he could.
Not everything has to change.
“I don’t think so.” He replied.
Bertholdt made a small ‘Hmm?’ noise, displaying his confusion. He sighed in relief as the hand continued on the raw skin.
“I think they’re really nice, man.” The blonde laughed softly. “They’re unique, and they match you really well. You look…really good. With and without them.”
The black-haired boy quickly turned red again, with the flush in cheeks practically blending in with his marks under his eyes. He smiled bashfully, unfamiliar with the sudden compliments. “Ah, thank you…” He simply replied. He knew trying to deny it was silly, especially considering just how stubborn Reiner could be. He didn’t want to argue with him over this, even if it was lighthearted.
Maybe he’d come to love them himself, in the next 7 years…
Reiner’s grin widened, and he opened his mouth. However before he could get a word in, both teens were frozen by the sound of stirring. They snapped their heads to the side, and focused on the two below.
Luckily for them, the one waking up wasn’t Eren. Ymir had twisted from the position previously on her back, shifting onto her stomach and groaning slightly. The pair looked at each other in concern, their silence persisting. Reiner specifically didn’t mutter a word, considering he could recall their…conversation back at Utgard. He wasn’t going to shift himself until he knew for sure she was awake though.
Unfortunately for them, she eventually did stir awake, her healing body dragging her to sit up and look around in a haze. By this point the two had separated, not wishing to deal with more questions than need be. At least Ymir wasn’t going to respond like Eren.
Hopefully she went back to sleep.