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“Well hello there, baby brother.”
Luke looked up from where he was stuffing clothing into his battered suitcase to see Jack at the doorway to his room. He smiled, feeling a fondness settle in his chest he hadn’t felt since he was sixteen, and he knew he’d almost welcome some sort of big brother banter, but the mood felt a little more sombre.
“You’re early for dinner,” Luke commented instead, turning his attention back to his suitcase, jamming a t-shirt down into a small space amongst his other belongings.
“Hey,” Jack said, his pout evidence in his voice. “You’re leaving tomorrow for months and you know mum only puts out the good plates when you’re leaving, and I quite like eating off the good plates and I have no idea where I was going with this,” he said quickly, tapering off and ambled over to Luke’s messy bed, and flopped down onto it.
The suitcase jumped and Luke rolled his eyes, before picking up another t-shirt and shoving that in there, too.
“Nervous?”
Luke looked over at Jack, at his unruly hair and scruffy beard and he could really see the resemblance his mother always went on about. She said it often enough, when they were worlds apart and she was missing him.
Luckily I have Jack when I want a glimpse of my Lewi.
It was so mushy, but it always made Luke feel like home.
“Not nervous,” he answered finally, sitting down beside his suitcase. “Well, maybe nervous.”
Jack smiled, picking up a dog-eared copy of a novel Luke hoped to read on the plane. “About the whole out thing?”
Luke nodded, leaning back against his pillows. “Like, I never thought of anyone’s reaction outside of you guys and Michael’s family. I just figured it’d all be okay.”
Luke had confided in his mum about Brian, and he wasn’t surprised that she’d told his older brother. Maybe Luke needed to hear from Jack this time, maybe this was one problem a mother’s touch couldn’t fix.
“So,” Jack began, raising his eyebrows. “So, all of us; mum, dad, Ben, Celeste and then Michael’s family and Calum and Ashton have been cool, yeah?”
Luke nodded.
“And there’s been one dude who didn’t react like we did?”
Luke nodded again.
Jack smiled. “So what does that tell you?” he asked. “The people that care about and love you the most accept you completely. There’s been one guy, who you don’t know all that well, who overreacted and called you a faggot. Which, side note; I’m going to punch him in the face whenever I meet him.”
Luke smiled. “I know what you’re saying is right,” he said gently. “But as soon as I leave, I don’t have you guys backing me up.”
“You’ve got your brothers from other mothers,” Jack reminded him. “You really think Cal and Ash are going to let anyone trash talk you? Shit, I would kick their asses if they didn’t have your backs.”
The smile slipped from Luke’s face and he looked away from Jack’s familiar eyes. “What if we spoke too soon?”
“You mean, coming out?”
Luke nodded, looking down at his hands and feeling the shame of his words settling heavily on his shoulders. “Like, what if we made the decision to do it for the wrong reasons?”
Jack sat up and wriggled closer, wrapping his fingers around Luke’s wrist and squeezed. “I’ve never seen you this happy before,” he said softly, albeit uncomfortably.
The Hemmings brothers weren’t always known for their emotional speeches.
“And that’s because you’re finally being yourself with the person you love,” he added quietly. “So, fuck everyone else, Lewi. The people that know you the most support you, and for the people that don’t, tell them to get fucked.”
Luke sighed, and hesitated before turning his hand over, and trailed his fingertips along Jack’s.
The older man coughed, and pulled his hand away. “C’mon, don’t get all gay.”
Luke laughed softly, rolling his eyes and leant over to shove Jack’s shoulder. “You’re laying in gay,” he pointed out. “Did you forget that Michael has been sleeping over an awful lot?”
Jack’s face morphed into an expression of horror, and he jumped up, smacking his shin against the wooden frame of Luke’s bed. “You’re sick!” he hissed, though a smile was forming on his face.
Luke laughed, wrapping an arm over his stomach as he wheezed at his brother’s reaction. It reminded him of his childhood, but he rarely had the upper hand, back then. He was almost always ganged up on, and it felt good to put Jack in his place.
“See, that’s the attitude you need with those pretentious LA fucks,” Jack said, pointing in Luke’s direction.
Luke rolled his eyes, and decided not to stand up for his friends, because Jack was kind of right. Instead, he picked up a pair of socks and hurled them in his brother’s direction. “Get out, I’m packing.”
Jack rolled his eyes and caught the socks easily, before lobbing them back to Luke. “You listened to what I said, right? The people that matter will be the ones who’ll support you. Fuck everyone else.”
Luke smiled, nodding his head, because he knew Jack was right. It made some of his anxiety ebb away, and he hoped that by the time he was ready to board the plane to Los Angeles, the rest would go away as well.
**
“Hi, sweetheart.”
Luke smiled, feeling his cheeks warm as Karen greeted him, and let him into the Clifford house. For some reason, ever since she’d busted him and Michael making out in his mother’s car, he felt like he was fourteen again, and trying to behave himself in fear of getting into trouble.
“He’s in his room,” Karen smiled. “He’s supposed to be packing. I told him I won’t do another panicked seven am packing marathon because he’s stayed up too late playing video games.”
Her words hit him hard with nostalgia, and for the first time since he’d been home, he didn’t want to leave. He would miss her, and not just her playful eye roll as she described her son, but the sarcastic inflection to her words, and her accent, the familiar music Luke was always homesick for while on the road.
He gave her a quick, tight hug before breaking away and heading down the hall towards Michael’s room, leaving her smiling at the front door.
Michael’s door was half closed, and he pushed it open soundlessly, and almost choked on his tongue at the picture before him.
Michael’s suitcase was open on his bed, much like Luke’s had been an hour before. There were bits of clothing strewn everywhere, Michael’s half-packed bathroom bag on the floor next a pile of t-shirts.
It looked every bit like a hurricane had swept through, and all Luke could imagine was sharing a living room with Michael one day, to see a mixture of both their things spread on every available surface in their own place.
But the best part of the entire thing was Michael, slumped over his suitcase and clearly asleep, and Luke was torn between taking a photo, and going and finding everyone he’d ever met, to show them all how gorgeous his boyfriend was.
Instead, he cleared his throat gently, and Michael jumped.
“I’m packing mum,” he said quickly, shoving things haphazardly into his suitcase. “Okay, I swear I’m not going to put it off and – oh.”
Luke was smirking, watching Michael pack frantically, and let out a soft burst of laughter when the older man realized it was him, and not his mother.
“What do you want?” Michael asked moodily, abandoning his packing duties.
“I’m here to see my stupid boyfriend,” Luke told him, nudging the door shut with his toe and crossed the room to climb onto Michael’s bed. “Were you seriously just asleep?”
“You had me up late last night,” Michael sneered playfully, crawling onto the bed on top of Luke, forcing Luke down on his back. “Remember?”
Luke could, and had been able to feel the reminder all day. But as Michael settled against him, he realized he was more than willing to make few more memories, if he could.
“I suppose you’re all packed,” Michael murmured, kissing down Luke’s stubbled jaw. “Such a good boy.”
Luke rolled his eyes, draping his arms over Michael’s back. “I am,” he answered. “And mum gave me an hour to come see you before dinner.”
They’d decided on separate family dinners and a night with their parents for their last night at home, and while it had seemed like a good idea at the time, Luke hadn’t slept without Michael since Bali, and that hadn’t gone down so well.
He’d miss him, despite how co-dependent that was, but he was looking forward to being with his family. He didn’t know when they’d be home next, and it was the first time since Luke was sixteen that he was almost fearful of how long he’d be gone.
“You ready?”
“Mhm, I guess,” Luke murmured, raking his fingers through Michael’s hair. “You?”
“I’m looking forward to the tour,” Michael answered. “I guess there’s a little bit of anxiety about the rest of it.”
Luke hummed softly. “Fuck ‘em, okay?” he said softly. “About everyone else, about her.”
“Someone’s singing a new tune,” Michael pointed out, resting his chin on Luke’s shoulder. “Had some insight?”
“I had some Jack Hemmings,” Luke mumbled. “I mean, he’s right. The people who love us, accept us. And we don’t want to be LA people, so why should we let LA people decide who we are?”
“I need to thank Jack,” Michael mumbled, kissing Luke’s lips gently.
Luke smiled, nudging their noses together. “It doesn’t mean I’m still not nervous.”
“I know,” Michael said softly. “But we just have to remember who we are.”
Luke kissed him gently, cupping Michael’s jaw. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Michael whispered against his lips. “And we don’t even have to see them, okay? We’re pretty much going straight into the studio when we land, and apart from that G’day thing Ashton wants us to do, we can just focus on banding.”
Luke nodded, wrapping his legs loose around Michael’s thighs. “What about fans?”
Michael smirked. “They ship us harder than we do,” he joked. “Let’s just be us, and be honest, and see where that gets us.”
Luke nodded, letting out a soft sigh, and kissed Michael again.
**
Luke has a nervous bout of diarrhoea before he left for the airport the following morning.
Michael held his hand all the way to Los Angeles.