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Jihoon groans, head in his hands, as he sits alone in the recording studio. The Seventeen lineup has been finalised, and the boys are gearing up for their debut. Jihoon has been feeling a lot of pressure as he tries to compose the tracks for their album. Though he can tell that the members are ecstatic to get on stage, the pressure of being Seventeen’s producer is starting to get to him. He begins to get up to try and compose something again when the door behind him swings open.
“Jihoon?” Soonyoung asks in a tentative voice before closing the door behind him. “You know you haven’t gone back to the dorm for a few days now,” he says, walking up behind Jihoon; both are staring at an empty screen.
Jihoon sighs. “I know,” he murmurs, “I just… don’t know where to start.” He can feel Soonyoung boring a hole in the back of his head, but fears that if he turns around, he’ll break down completely, and he doesn’t want the other to see him in that state right now.
Soonyoung lets out a hum and grabs Jihoon’s phone, something the latter often does, primarily out of habit. Soonyoung had broken his phone while roughhousing with the other members in the practice room and, while having it repaired, resorted to using Jihoon’s phone in the meantime. Despite getting his phone back, the habit never disappeared, and Jihoon didn’t mind, so no one ever said anything about it.
Like many times before, Soonyoung settles into the couch behind Jihoon, soft taps filling the quiet space of the room. Somehow, Soonyoung being in the same room as him sparks some kind of inspiration, and eventually, he’s able to write up a simple melody, humming it under his breath as he lays it out on the audio software.
An hour passes by quickly before Jihoon lets out a soft yawn. “Alright, Ji, that’s our cue to go home!” Soonyoung says, getting up, turning Jihoon’s chair around, and handing him back his phone. Jihoon nods and doesn’t really think about it as he lets Soonyoung lead them out of the building and back to the dorms.
Later, when they’ve all settled down into their beds, Jihoon finally has the mind to take a look at his phone, only to be bemused by his new wallpaper screen. It’s clearly Soonyoung from earlier in the studio, making a silly kissy face to the camera, his blond hair still frizzy from being freshly bleached. Jihoon feels like an idiot, a fond smile plastered on his face as he stares at the screen. His screen shuts off, and Jihoon is left with fuzzy vision as he peers at the real Soonyoung over the top of his phone, asleep across the room on his own bed.
In the morning, Jihoon gets up early feeling refreshed, rushing back to the studio to complete his unfinished melody, which eventually becomes their debut title track, “Adore U.”
Finally, finally, they’ve made a massive step in their career. Having just won their first music show win with “Pretty U,” the members are now taking a well-deserved rest in their dorm. Some have gone out to eat, some are taking naps in their bedrooms, while some have gone out to spend time with friends and family outside the group. Jihoon is sitting in his bed, scrolling through Twitter and their Fancafe as he reads the many congratulatory messages that their fans have left for them. He watches the clip over and over again, seeing their reactions as they announce their name, hearing their fans cheer for them over the sounds of their tears. Even though it’s already been a few days, Jihoon still cannot believe their luck and is hugely grateful for the endless support they’ve received from their fans.
He puts his phone away as the door to his dorm opens. He expects it to be one of his roommates, maybe one of them had come back early from their outings, but instead, he’s greeted by a dazed-looking Soonyoung, who closes the door behind them before plopping down beside Jihoon.
“I still can’t believe it,” Soonyoung mumbles, “I…I just can’t…” He shakes his head, curling up into a ball, hiding his face behind his knees as Jihoon shuffles to lean against him.
“It’s real, Soonie,” the nickname slips out, a little shocked at himself as he hasn’t called the other that in a while. “We won.”
Soonyoung turns his head to look at Jihoon, his expression wobbly and mushy. “It’s all thanks to you, really.”
Jihoon shakes his head in disagreement, “Absolutely not, Soonyoung,” in a firm tone, “You helped Youngjun-ssaem choreograph it, remember? You even helped Hyelim-ssaem convince the CEO to let us use the couch in our choreography. That’s why people love it so much– it’s just so…unique. It shows who we are as Seventeen.”
“But you wrote the song in the first place, Jihoon-ah,” Soonyoung mutters, “We wouldn’t have anything to choreograph in the first place if you hadn’t written it.”
In all actuality, Jihoon was inspired to write the song after seeing Soonyoung as his wallpaper every day, but he’d never voice that out loud. The lyrics about constantly having his breath taken away were just little snippets of what Jihoon felt as he spent more time around the other man. But he still can’t even keep to his own lyrics; no matter how many sips of water he has in a day, his throat still dries when he tries to voice his feelings.
“Then we did it together, you, me, and all our members.” Jihoon pushes a stray hair out of Soonyoung’s eyes, his hair softening now that he’s returning to his brown roots. He tries to think of a rebuttal but ultimately gives up. Soonyoung sighs in agreement, before pulling Jihoon down on the bed with him.
Trying to pull out of his grasp, Jihoon sputters in disagreement. “Just a nap, Hoonie…” Soonyoung mumbles, wrapping his arms tightly around the more petite man, tucking Jihoon’s head under his chin. Jihoon is glad his face is hidden and hopes the other doesn’t feel his heart racing. Huffing, Jihoon wraps his arms loosely around Soonyoung, running his hand across the other's back.
He doesn’t know if the other is still awake, but he whispers, “I’m so proud of you, Soonyoung.” Before he drifts off to sleep.
A few hours later, they both wake up from their nap. Jihoon sputters in embarrassment as one of the members has changed his wallpaper to a photo of them sleeping, curled up tightly against each other under the blanket. Laughing, Soonyoung sends the image to himself, thanking whoever decided to take the photo. Deep down, Jihoon also silently thanks the secret photographer.
It’s one of the rare times when Jihoon does a live stream alone, simply talking to and interacting with the fans. He doesn’t know why he started it or what he wanted to talk about, but he missed the fans after being on a break for so long. He mostly talks about the latest anime he’d been binge-watching and shares some silly stories about the members.
He’s in the middle of a story about the vocal team when his phone beside him starts to vibrate. Making sure that his phone is out of the camera's sight, he checks to see who is calling and sees that it’s his roommate, Mingyu. Jihoon answers the phone, putting it up to his ear as his friend greets him.
“Hyung! We’re planning on ordering dinner soon– I know you’re on V-Live right now, but would you be okay with dak-galbi ?”
Despite having eaten a bowl of ramen, spicy stir-fried chicken sounds delicious; his stomach grumbles a bit at the sound of it. “Sounds good, Gyu,” Jihoon answers.
“Nice! Okay, see you later, hyung; tell Carats I said hi!”
The line goes dead as Jihoon pulls his phone away from his ear. He relays the message to the fans as he continues with the live broadcast, mentioning that he’ll have to go in a while to eat dinner with the others.
Jihoon reads some comments before one catches his eye: “Woozi! Who do you have as your wallpaper?” He reads out loud before he can even process what was being asked.
“Oh…” That’s on him for not being careful enough to hide his wallpaper before hanging up. “Well, it’s a photo of…” He turns on his phone, checking for any strange notifications before showing it to the camera, “It’s Hoshi.”
The fans have seen Soonyoung as his wallpaper before, whether through well-spotted screenshots or photos of his screen, but it’s the first time he’s acknowledged it on camera. Thankfully, Soonyoung doesn’t look ridiculous; it's a simple photo of him in a suit, probably from a music show, a broad smile painted on his face as he holds up whatever award they’d won that day. Soonyoung claimed he looked exceptionally handsome that day, and, well, Jihoon thought he looked handsome every day, but he’d never admit to that, so Soonyoung took a quick selfie and made it Jihoon’s wallpaper.
The chat fills with praises towards Soonyoung, calling him handsome and pretty. Jihoon hums to himself in agreement while others tease Jihoon for having Soonyoung as his wallpaper, which he ignores.
“Maybe he’ll have some photos on his phone from this day and upload them for you guys,” Jihoon puts away his phone, “But for now it’s my photo to keep!” He says teasingly, laughing as his fans spam the chat with complaints about him being unfair. Truthfully, he’d like to keep this photo of Soonyoung for himself, but doesn’t voice it out.
Later, Soonyoung teases him for his display of affection, “...and in front of all those people, Jihoonie? Never thought I’d see the day.” Despite his heart fluttering like crazy, cheeks splotched in hues of red, Jihoon adamantly denies it.
Soonyoung finds photos from that day and shares them with their fans to their delight, but not before changing Jihoon’s wallpaper to something new, only for Jihoon to see.
After they finish preparing for their next album, they’re given a few days off at an Airbnb, courtesy of the company. It feels like a TTT without all the cameras and staff around to film them. Nevertheless, the members still act the same. They arrive in the early afternoon; some members are in the pool taking a swim to beat the heat, some are in the kitchen cooking snacks, some are taking naps around the house, while some are already blasting songs on the karaoke machine.
He tends to gravitate towards Wonwoo in situations like these since they enjoy their peace and quiet. The pair aren’t asleep yet but is lying in the dark on their respective beds, as the sounds of the other members seep through the walls. Jihoon is about to fall asleep before the door opens, and the light makes them stir awake and groan.
“Oh– Sorry, guys,” Soonyoung whispers, as he tiptoes to Jihoon’s bed, trying his best not to jostle Wonwoo further. “Jihoonie, I thought we were rooming together.” He gets on his knees and squints at Jihoon in the dark.
“Thought you were rooming with Seokmin…” Jihoon barely mumbles, voice rough from being so tired from recording and producing. “My bad, Soonie.”
If Soonyoung is shocked at the use of the nickname, he doesn’t show it, giggling as he shakes his head, “Don’t apologise, there’s always next time.” Soonyoung gently runs his hand through Jihoon’s hair before covering him with the blanket pooled at his feet. “But you have to get up later, okay? We’re also here to relax and spend time with each other before we get busy again,” Glancing at the bedside, Soonyoung takes Jihoon’s phone as he grunts out a soft yes in response.
Soonyoung smiles and walks out of the room; now, under the comfort of the warm blanket, Jihoon finds himself slowly falling asleep again.
“Damn, it’s like I wasn’t even here.” Jihoon's eyes are closed, but he can hear the smirk in Wonwoo’s voice as he says, “I can transfer rooms if you’d like. Let me know when you wake up, Jihoon-ah.”
Too tired to defend himself, Jihoon lets out another grunt before falling completely asleep.
💌
The sun is gone by the time Jihoon stirs, waking up to an empty bedroom, noticing that Wonwoo had already moved his bag out, as Jihoon remembers their semi-conversation before he fell asleep.
He trudged down the stairs and walked to the outdoor kitchen, where the others prepared dinner. His hands are in his pockets since it’s beginning to get a little too chilly for his liking.
The members greet him warmly as he takes a seat, having plopped himself down between Minghao and Hansol. The two strike a mellow conversation with him, not wanting to be too disgruntled, as it turns out they’d all just woken up from their naps. The members are dressed pretty warmly, and the cool evening air is approaching; Jihoon regrets not thinking of taking a jacket, but can’t be bothered to return and get one.
Dinner is served, and the members sit, with Soonyoung sitting across from him. As with any Seventeen dinner, drinks are brought out, and drinking games start as their stomachs are stuffed enough to take the strength of the alcohol.
Though he’s not a heavy drinker, Jihoon lets himself go a little bit, allowing himself to drink a bit more than usual. Plus, a little alcohol would help with the warmth, right? He doesn’t drink as much as the other members do, some already putting on talent shows and laughing so hard their drinks start dripping out of their noses, but as he drinks, he feels a pleasant buzz in his blood as he takes another sip of his whiskey, the warmth spreading throughout his body.
Soonyoung is one of the members who had too much to drink, failing to play some of the games correctly, which caused him to take a few more shots than usual. It doesn’t help that he’s sitting beside Seungkwan also, whom he keeps taking love shots with.
“Hey, Kwon Hoshi,” their leader Seungcheol bellows out, “I think it’s time for you to be put to bed.” They don’t wanna get too drunk and wake up to half the members puking their guts out on the toilets; there aren’t that many bathrooms in this house.
Jihoon doesn’t hesitate before volunteering with a simple, “I’ll take him,” standing up and walking over to Soonyoung’s side. The members let out teasing oohs and ahs , with Seungkwan beside Soonyoung letting out wolf-whistles.
Jihoon rolls his eyes playfully as Soonyoung overreacts, flinging himself onto Jihoon’s back, “Oh! My saviour; my knight in shining armour!”
“How is it you become more of a drama queen when you’re drunk Soonyoung?”
Soonyoung doesn’t get a chance to respond, and Seokmin cries out, “Jihoon-hyung, I left Soonyoung-hyung's bag outside your bedroom door! Just bring it in when you have the chance!”
Jihoon yells back a thank you that echoes through the house's stairwell, already halfway to their bedroom.
Once they’re there, Jihoon gently places Soonyoung on the bed, brings in his bag, and takes out his pajamas. Jihoon is about to hand over the pajamas, but as he turns around, Soonyoung has his arms up in the air, eyes closed, and a drunken smile on his face.
“Soonyoung… I am not changing your clothes for you.”
Soonyoung flops his hands down and gasps dramatically, “Jihoonie… How could you! You were so sweet this afternoon too!” He groans even as he changes into his clothes, Jihoon having turned around to change into his own pajamas.
“I was also half asleep,” Jihoon chuckles before saying, “Go to bed, Soonyoung-ah.” The other is already lying down, as Jihoon tucks him in with the blanket.
He is about to leave before he feels a light grip on his wrist, “Stay with me, Hoonie…” Soonyoung quietly murmurs, a soft, sleepy smile that makes Jihoon’s heart flutter, “We rarely share when the cameras are on… so can’t you stay beside me now?”
His heart racing in his chest, either from Soonyoung or the alcohol, he doesn’t know, he lifts the blanket and doesn’t hesitate to snuggle into Soonyoung’s warm embrace, “Just for tonight.”
Soonyoung snuggles closer, if that was even possible with how close they are, and they fall asleep to the rhythm of their breaths in synch.
On the way home after their trip, Jihoon smiled as he watched the videos and photos Soonyoung took with his phone while he was asleep in the afternoon. He fondly gazed at the other over the top of his phone, just like he did all those years ago, asleep because of his hangover. Soonyoung has set Jihoon’s wallpaper to a selfie somehow containing all twelve of them; Jihoon is not included due to being asleep. The members are all beaming with joy, with Soonyoung’s being the brightest in the middle.
Years into their careers, Soonyoung still has the habit of using Jihoon’s phone even when he’s had his own this whole time; even if it breaks, they have enough money to replace it quickly. All the same, Jihoon still doesn’t care or mind, as long as Soonyoung is careful with it, knowing that their fans have always been very observant.
It’s no secret that Soonyoung and Jihoon are close and always have been, though they always express that closeness with all their members. Fans have noticed that their relationship has always been different, even if sometimes, Jihoon doesn’t see it himself.
From the beginning, Jihoon was fully aware of his feelings for Soonyoung, often bleeding into his music and lyrics. However, with their idol life and the expectations placed on them, he knew he was in no position to act on his feelings. So he’s sat quietly all these years, letting his feelings for Soonyoung remain.
That is until now.
“Hey,” Jihoon calls out. They are in the middle of practicing for their Be the Sun tour and are taking a quick break before starting again. “Has anyone seen my phone? It’s not in my bag or my jacket.”
The other members murmur to themselves as they slowly get up and help him look, until their youngest member makes a noise of approval.
“It’s here, hyung!” Chan exclaims as he jogs over and hands Jihoon his phone. “Found it on Hoshi hyung’s jacket.”
Jihoon hums in appreciation before asking, “How’d you know it was my phone? The case?”
“Ah, well,” Chan reaches over and double-taps the screen of Jihoon’s phone, revealing his wallpaper. It’s a picture of Soonyoung again, though more recent – a selfie from when they were at the beach for a photoshoot. He’s blond again. Soonyoung goes blonde pretty often, huh? He’s cheerfully smiling at the camera, angled so you can still see the beach and the clear water of the ocean behind him.
Jihoon stared for so long that he hadn’t noticed Chan still standing there. “What– did you say?”
“I said,” Chan starts, “I checked the wallpaper – Hoshi hyung has always been your wallpaper, Jihoon hyung. Though this is a new picture…”
Jihoon is once again lost in thought as Chan continues. Is that true ? He thinks, Have I always been this obvious? He knows the other members often joke around and change each other's wallpapers, but they’re usually switched out immediately to something else or back to their old screensaver. Often accompanied by a playful whine, but always as a joke and never actually serious.
“...but well, it’s okay, hyung. That’s just how boyfriends are, right?”
Now that makes Jihoon look up at Chan in shock. “Boyfriends?” Jihoon yell-whispers to the younger, “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Dino…”
Chan looks at the older boy, confused, before their choreographer signals the end of their break, and everyone returns to their positions. Jihoon makes eye contact with the younger one last time with a look that says, We’ll talk about this later, as Chan seems to understand and nods before going to his spot.
Jihoon feels like he’s in a daze for the rest of practice, the term boyfriends swirling around in his mind endlessly. Some members look at him concerned, but he waves them away, feigning fatigue from spending so much time in the studio.
“I’m telling you,” Joshua starts as they finish for the day and pack up. “It’s all that Coke Zero you keep drinking; it’s no good for you.” Although his tone is teasing, he knows his hyung is just looking out for him with genuine concern.
“Yes, yes, hyung,” Jihoon nods dramatically as they walk out of the practice room together. “I’ll be more careful, don’t worry.”
Joshua is about to start again before Chan peeks out of the practice room, “Jihoon hyung,” he calls out, running up to the pair, “You said you wanted to talk to me after practice?”
Joshua looks at the two with a questioning gaze, but thankfully, he quickly drops it and walks ahead, waving goodbye to the two younger members and saying he’ll see them at dinner.
Jihoon looks back at Chan, who is looking at him with a guilty but curious expression. “Okay, let’s go get coffee. Hyung will pay.” Chan’s expression quickly changes into excitement as he slings an arm around his hyung's shoulder, voicing his agreement.
💌
The two have a good time at the café together, catching up a bit and talking about whatever comes to mind. Jihoon realises they don’t often spend time alone, knowing Chan has always been fond of Soonyoung more than him. I should spend more time with him, Jihoon muses as he watches the other sip his coffee and take a bite from his pastry, hungry from their practice today.
They travel to the restaurant together, deciding to walk through the quiet neighborhood since it’s only a few blocks away. Jihoon knows that, as the older member, it’s technically his responsibility to bring up the topic, but he doesn’t know where to start. Thankfully, the younger member speaks up for him.
“So, what was that all about earlier?” Chan asks, “I wasn’t expecting you to react like that.” He speaks slowly, as if talking to a kid, even though Jihoon is three years older. “I know you aren’t mad at me or anything, so what’s up?”
Jihoon is thankful for Chan’s concern and willingness to talk; Jihoon ponders a bit more before responding.
“Well, what made you think Soonyoung and I are together?”
Chan scoffs, not in mockery but more in astonishment than anything, “What makes you think otherwise?”
“You know this conversation is gonna go nowhere if we keep asking each other questions.”
“You know, hyung,” the younger huffs, pushing his bangs out of his eyes, “I used to be really jealous of you and Soonyoung hyung.”
Jihoon looks up at Chan in shock while he continues, “When we debuted… I had a crush on Soonyoung hyung, though looking back on it now, it was probably more admiration than anything serious or romantic.” Embarrassed, he scratches his head, “But hyung always treated you differently… looked at you differently… and I never got mad at you for it, but I was jealous because I wanted to have someone like that too.”
“Hey…” Jihoon mumbles, “You’re a great guy, Channie, they’d have to be crazy to pass up on the opportunity to be with someone like you.” Jihoon knows he’s not the best at comforting others, but he tries his best and continues, “On the other hand, Soonyoung has always treated everyone the same–” that’s a lie and they both know it, “and even if it was true… I don’t know if I deserve to be with him in that way.”
“But it’s the same with you, hyung.” Chan looks at him and shakes his head again, “Soonyoung would be crazy– is crazy to not be with you already.”
They see the restaurant in the distance, soft yellow light emanating from the windows, and they stop a few ways away from the building.
“Just… the way that you express your love and admiration to each other… It’s different… and it always has been.”
Jihoon looks over at Chan, who is gazing at him with determination, making sure that his words get through to the elder, “I just hope you know you deserve his love; you deserve so much love, Jihoon hyung…”
With that, Jihoon feels a million emotions bubbling up inside him. He’s always been an emotional person, even if he doesn’t show it well. He knows he does better with words than with actions, but at the moment, he can’t do anything except envelop the younger boy in a tight hug.
Chan huffs, giggling as he encircles his arms around his hyung. “Wow…” Chan hums, “Are there seriously no cameras to capture this rare display of affection from the Woozi hyung? The others are gonna be so jealous when I tell them–” Jihoon laughs, playfully slapping Chan on the chest as he pulls back, “Then I’m never doing it again!” He teases before quickly walking ahead towards the restaurant.
Chan whines as he catches up to him. As they barge into their private room, Chan quickly brags about his delicious free dinner and warm hug, all from their precious producer.
The other members stare in shock, whining to Jihoon and Chan, When are you gonna treat me to dinner? And Does that mean we can hug you whenever we want now, hyung? Throughout the chaos, Jihoon feels a curious gaze, already knowing who it's coming from. When he looks at Soonyoung, the other doesn’t look away but sends a soft, fond smile, which Jihoon delightfully returns.
Almost two weeks have passed since his talk with Chan, and Jihoon is giving himself time to think before doing anything rash. Despite all his self-doubt, he can’t help but wonder what it would be like if Soonyoung returned his feelings for him. Would anything change? Would it affect the dynamics of the group? All these questions, and Jihoon knows the answer is a flat-out: no. Seventeen is a family; they do everything they can to support and make each other happy. Yet, Jihoon still can’t entirely bring himself to do it; at the end of the day, Soonyoung might not feel the same way.
Amidst all this, he finds himself unconsciously drifting away from Soonyoung, putting space between them. It’s not intentional, but it doesn’t go unnoticed by the other members, Soonyoung in particular. It’s not before he hears a muffled, "It's okay, he’s done this before, maybe he’s just not in the mood," from Soonyoung before he enters their practice room that he realises what he’s been doing.
Throughout practice, it’s obvious that the tension between Soonyoung and Jihoon is affecting the group. Fuck, with Seokmin and Seungkwan toning down the jokes; Soonyoung calling out minor mistakes that he would’ve simply laughed about otherwise. It’s clear that the other members are trying to have a good time, but the tension between their two captains hangs thick in the air.
A soft, “Jihoon-ah,” from Jeonghan startles Jihoon from his thoughts as they take a short break from practice, “You doing okay?” It’s the second time that one of the members has spoken to him like a child lately. Has he really been acting that childish?
Jihoon nods, swatting his hand in the air to alleviate some of the concern Jeonghan has on his face. “Just lots of thoughts, hyung,” It’s not his best excuse, but it will do, “with the comeback, the tour, and all that.”
Jeonghan shakes his head, “I know you too well for that Jihoon-ah, that might’ve worked on one of the younger kids but not on me,” he says in his signature mother-like tone, “I won’t force you to talk about it with me, but talk to Soonyoung, please.” Jihoon finally turns his head to look at his hyung, the older looking at him with a troubled look. “Whatever you’re doing right now… It’s not fair to him. You know that, right?”
Now that puts it into place; he never intended to hurt Soonyoung– that was the last thing he wanted to do. Jihoon nods, giving Jeonghan an earnest, “I will.”
Jeonghan smiles, patting Jihoon on the shoulder before walking away, as Jihoon’s gaze drifts over to Soonyoung, who is already looking at him. The latter doesn’t smile or nod, but simply stares, like he doesn’t know what to do; a deer caught in headlights. A few minutes pass before Jihoon smiles, give Soonyoung a small wave, before mouthing, Talk later?
Soonyoung visibly lights up, nodding enthusiastically before their break comes to an end.
The tension in the room quickly dissipates and turns into something brighter. Everyone lets loose and has fun as they continue to prepare for the tour; the reason for the sudden ease is clear, but no one says anything. From the sidelines, Jeonghan watches Jihoon with a fond and proud gaze.
💌
Their practice ends, and the members say goodbye to each other and their staff as they go on with their day. Jeonghan and Chan each give Jihoon their version of an enthusiastic, “You can do it!” before heading back to their place.
They’ve probably talked about it together, Jihoon thinks to himself as he heads over to Soonyoung.
“Do you, uh,” Wow, he didn’t really think about what he was going to say at all.
Jihoon must’ve been standing there long enough because Soonyoung chuckles, “Should we go back to my place then? You haven’t seen Latte in a while.” A moment passes before Soonyoung continues, “My, uh, sister won’t be home until later tonight.”
Jihoon’s cheeks quickly start to warm. Get your head out of the gutter, he thinks to himself, despite the fact that Soonyoung is also beginning to look like a ripe tomato. He quickly nods before leading them both out of the building and to Soonyoung’s place.
💌
At home, they’re immediately greeted by an enthusiastic Latte, Latte-yah! Did you miss me? Jihoon greets as Soonyoung goes ahead and makes himself at home, Jihoon following behind him and doing the same.
They make themselves a warm cup of tea, Latte having already moved on to nap somewhere in the house. They settle down on the sofa; the space between Soonyoung and Jihoon feels a lot wider than usual.
“I know it’s not enough… but I’m really sorry, Soonyoung.” Jihoon starts, twiddling his thumbs against the warm mug, eyes fixated on the plush carpet beneath his socked feet, “I just… really needed time to think.”
Hunched over his glass, sitting on the edge of the couch, Soonyoung sighs, “I could tell… but it still hurts, Jihoon.” A pang shoots through Jihoon’s chest. Soonyoung never calls him just Jihoon, “That was the longest you’ve gone without talking to me– and without real reason. I know we’re busy preparing for everything going on, but don’t bother trying to lie, I know that isn’t the issue. So tell me,” Soonyoung finally turns to look at Jihoon, eyes starting to glisten with tears, “What did I do wrong? Did I say something to hurt you? Make you feel uncomfortable?”
Adamantly, Jihoon shakes his head, quickly turning his body to face Soonyoung, placing his mug down on the coffee table before reaching out to grip Soonyoung's tightly closed fists, “None of it was your fault, Soonie, I was just being stupid.”
Despite his wavering voice and shaky hands, Jihoon finally breathes out a hushed, “I love you, Soonyoung.”
A few beats pass; Soonyoung’s eyes start to glimmer brightly under the warm afternoon light, “Oh.” His fists slowly unfurl, intertwining his fingers loosely around Jihoon’s.
“Yeah, oh,” Jihoon doesn’t have the strength to let go or pull back, so he continues, “I just couldn’t take it anymore… and I didn’t know if I should just continue keeping it to myself or if I should tell you, but Channie said I should tell you then–”
“Wait,” Amusement laced in Soonyoung’s voice, “You told Lee Chan before me?” He teases, still not letting go of Jihoon’s hands.
Jihoon rolls his eyes playfully, “He found out! He was helping me look for my phone and called us boyfriends because you keep setting your pictures as my damn wallpaper!” There’s no real irritation in his tone, but Soonyoung’s eyes slightly falter.
“You don’t like it when I make my photos your wallpaper?” He asks, starting to look like a kicked puppy. Or a kicked tiger, Jihoon’s brain uselessly supplies.
Again, Jihoon shakes his head, “No… that's just what started this whole thing, you idiot.” He huffs exasperated, letting go of Soonyoung’s hands to slump against the couch, “At first it was just supposed to be a small crush, but then…” He thought briefly before going on, “When I wasn’t with you, I would miss you, then I found myself staring at your photos! Do you know how many times I caught myself smiling at my phone like a stupid idiot?” He shakes his head in disbelief, unbelieving that he’s finally confessing everything, “Sure, I could’ve just changed my wallpaper to something else, but that’s the thing. I didn’t want to.”
On the side, Soonyoung listens, lips pursed and face slightly scrunched as he focuses on Jihoon’s words.
“Over the years… I just fell in love with you Soonyoung-ah. It was impossible for me not to,” He whispers, like it's a secret only for Soonyoung to hear. “I know you don’t feel the same way… I know I can be hard to deal with and you don’t deserve to be with someone like that,” Despite having known this for a long time, it feels like his heart is breaking all over again; deflating, crushing itself up inside of him, “You obviously don’t have to say anything about it, I just thought it was time; you deserve to know.”
It feels like time slows down as Jihoon lets Soonyoung process his words. The other copies his position, leaning back on the couch; both their drinks have cooled with how much time has passed. Jihoon is too nervous to move or to speak, but after what feels like forever, he finally speaks up, “Okay– I know I told you not to say anything about it, but I didn’t say that you shouldn’t say anything at all .” He playfully quips, finally turning to look at Soonyoung, who, as always, is already looking at him.
“What makes you think I’m not in love with you too, Jihoon?”
Jihoon is shocked, but didn’t Chan say something similar ? Jihoon ponders, his silence queuing Soonyoung to continue.
“And– who are you to say I don’t deserve to be with you?” Soonyoung’s voice echoes through the room, sounding more angry towards Jihoon’s self-doubt than Jihoon himself, “Do you know how much of a privilege it would be– It is to be loved by you?”
“You might not realise it, but you’re so… expressive in your love,” he continues; this is the most determined Jihoon has heard Soonyoung speak in the entirety of them knowing each other. “Not just through your writing but the way you treat me, treat the members, treat the fans, I’m honestly so lucky to be a recipient of your love that it gets overwhelming sometimes.”
“Which is why I never… planned on confessing to you either. I didn’t wanna ruin our relationship.”
Jihoon processes, taking in Soonyoung’s confession, “Do you mean… If no one had said anything… we’d both be sitting on our asses despite having mutual feelings for each other for years?”
For some reason, that makes Soonyoung bark out a laugh, nodding as he takes Jihoon’s hand again, “I guess so… we’re both incredibly stupid then aren’t we?”
With both their hearts about to burst, Jihoon can’t take it anymore, “Well, at least from now on we’ll be incredibly stupid together.”
Tightening his grip on Soonyoung’s hand as the other pulls him closer and… Soonyoung is kissing him. Jihoon feels like he could write a thousand songs and still be unable to fully describe the feeling. It feels like all the air in his lungs is knocked out; still, he moves impossibly closer to Soonyoung, kissing him back. Soonyoung lets go of his hand as his arms move to encircle his waist tightly, keeping a firm grip on Jihoon as if he never wants to let him go, as if Jihoon would let him anyway.
Jihoon leans back on the couch as Soonyoung swings his legs over to straddle the smaller man's waist, splitting apart for a split second to breathe before going back, kissing him more firmly this time. As Jihoon wraps his arms around Soonyoung’s neck, his head starts to feel woozy, but he can’t tell if that’s because of the heat or if that’s just Soonyoung’s effect on him. He guesses it's the latter.
Soonyoung tilts his head, and Jihoon feels his sharp canines brush against his bottom lip; Jihoon deflates like he’s melting against Soonyoung. His lips are chapped, but Jihoon doesn’t care. The way Soonyoung feels and tastes is something Jihoon wants to keep tucked away in his heart forever, something only for him to keep.
After a few more kisses, mostly at the insistence of Jihoon, unsurprisingly, they slow down. Soonyoung pulled away gently, but not before placing a few more pecks on Jihoon’s cheeks. He giggles, moving to sit beside Jihoon, affectionately curled against Jihoon’s arm around his shoulders. Soonyoung is gazing at Jihoon, undeniably lovesick, as the other stares back with just as much fondness and adoration, floating in a bubble, wearing their hearts on their sleeves.
Soonyoung giggles, shaking his head as if getting out of a trance.
“What’s so funny?” Jihoon asks, moving to brush Soonyoung’s hair from where it got a little tousled.
“I just can’t believe it’s real… I’ve been wanting to do that for so long…”
Jihoon hums in agreement as they settle into a comfortable silence.
“Please stay by my side for a long time… forever, Soonyoung,” Jihoon whispers in the darkness of the living room.
“You can’t get rid of me now, Jihoonie. I’m not going anywhere,” Soonyoung mumbles before leaning in to place a kiss on Jihoon’s smiling lips. “That’s a promise.”
+1
“We all agree that Hao should be the one to do it, yes?” Junhui whispers to the two other members sitting on the floor, huddled in a small circle.
“Why is it always me…” Said member murmurs back, still making a move to stand up, albeit reluctantly.
“Hao hyung,” Chan starts, “Soonyoung hyung always listens to you, it’s faster if you do it.”
“Okay– but you’re his favourite dongsaeng so why can’t you do it?” Minghao retorts, arms crossed.
Chan stands as well, patting the other on the shoulders in what he hopes is a more encouraging way rather than forceful, “He doesn’t have a favourite dongsaeng ,” lies, “and because if I do it, it will take longer. Hyung will wanna tease me and all that because I’m so cute or whatever.”
“You just called yourself cute, Chan-ah,” Junhui giggles, standing to wrap an arm around Chan’s shoulders, pulling the other way as the other makes some excuse. “Well, it’s true– ,” fades into the background while Minghao stands alone.
They’re filming a new episode of Going Seventeen where the members are tasked to complete a secret mission for their respective team heads. The Performance Team was tasked with secretly showing Soonyoung’s wallpaper to the camera. If all the teams completed their missions, their unit heads would have to treat the members and all the Going Seventeen staff to dinner. The non-team heads agreed to work together as much as possible, which is an atypical scenario for a Going Seventeen episode. Still, their fans would surely appreciate them working together for the first time, and they would be able to treat their staff as well.
The Performance Team’s plan was easy enough; Jun and Chan would distract Soonyoung while Minghao would simply ask for Soonyoung’s phone while he was distracted, turn it on and show it to the camera.
Minghao walks back into the living room, where Soonyoung sits with the other unit leaders, squished with Jihoon on the loveseat, his arm slung around his shoulder.
Okay, maybe getting his phone from there would be a little tricky.
Thankfully, Hansol spots Minghao’s predicament and makes a move.
“Jihoon hyung,” He calls out, “Jeonghan hyung and Shua hyung are grilling moksal in the kitchen if you want some. There’s also Coke Zero.”
Jihoon makes some sort of satisfied grunt before getting up. Of course, Soonyoung stands too, following him to the kitchen like a lost puppy.
“Those two have gotten clingier lately…” He hears Seungcheol mumble to himself before following them out too.
Minghao looked around the spot where they were sitting, and by some miracle, Soonyoung’s phone was squished in between the couch cushions.
“Nice!” He whispers to himself before running up to the nearest camera, Jun and Chan excitedly following him. He turns the camera on and flips the phone to the camera, releasing a soft gasp as Soonyoung’s lock screen is revealed.
It’s a live photo of Jihoon and Soonyoung with Latte sitting on both laps. Jihoon is holding up the phone for a selfie, while Soonyoung sweeps in and places a sweet peck on Jihoon’s cheek. His cheeks brighten a bit, lips curling up into a smile, before the photo pauses.
“U…Uhm,” Junhui starts, “Did you not check first…?” He asks Minghao calmly, knowing the staff would simply edit it out of the video.
Minghao shakes his head and turns to the other two, “Did you guys know?”
Junhui shakes his head when Chan whispers, “I didn’t know they got together already!”
The two Chinese members let out a resounding, “What?!” before someone stepped back into the living room.
“Hey, have any of you guys seen my phone?” When they look up, it’s Soonyoung, walking up to the spot where he and Jihoon sat earlier, rummaging through the pillows and cushions.
“It’s, uh,” Minghao reaches out, holding Soonyoung’s phone for him to take, “Here, hyung.”
“Ah!” Soonyoung exclaims, taking the phone from Minghao’s grasp, “Thanks! But, uh.”
The three Performance Unit members stood in a line, guilty expressions on their faces.
“Why are you looking at me like that…? Did you drop it?”
“No,” Minghao admits. “We… Our mission was that we had to show your lockscreen to the camera… So…”
At this, the two other members approach Soonyoung, voicing their apologies and congratulations.
“Really, hyung, I’m so happy for you but I’m so sorry we had to show it and we didn’t know– We didn’t think to check either–”
“Nice one Kwon Soonyoung, finally after so long– But we really didn’t want to show it to the camera you know?” Junhui continues, “And well, doesn’t Jihoon usually have you as his wallpaper?”
Soonyoung bellows out a laugh, slipping his arms around their shoulders, phone in his pocket, “It’s from when we started dating so…”
“And how long has it been since then?” Minghao asks.
“I think…” Soonyoung pauses, “Six months now?”
Together, the three let out another loud, “What!” as they shared accusatory looks at Soonyoung.
“Okay– I know we’re a family and you can take your time or whatever– but six months?”
“Yeah, hyung, way too long. That’s not fair!”
“I’m telling Jeonghan-hyung!” Chan blurts out before dashing to the kitchen with a, " Guys—you won’t believe this!" Junhui and Minghao follow behind, not before giving Soonyoung a pat on the back and good luck .
Soonyoung is left in the living room, before turning to one of the cameras.
“Uh… editors… please edit that out… Thank you,” he says, making a cutting motion with his fingers as he bows to the cameras. He continues to do so before a soft giggle suddenly fills the room. Soonyoung doesn’t have to turn around to know who it is.
“Jihoonie…” Soonyoung starts, as the other walks up to him, Soonyoung leans down to loosely wrap his arms around the smaller man's waist, resting his head on his shoulder. “Did Channie tell the others?”
Jihoon reaches up, running his hand across Soonyoung’s back. “Yep. He looked at me for about a split second. I could tell he found out, so I just nodded, and then he announced it to the whole room.”
Soonyoung groans, moving closer so he can rest more of his weight against Jihoon, “Well, you said you wanted to be the one to tell them, Soonie.”
“I just wanted to keep it a secret for a little longer… Keep you all to myself…”
“You know I’m yours anyway right?” Jihoon chuckles as Soonyoung pulls away, a dopey grin on his face.
“Yeah, but I’m your idiot now, Jihoonie,” Soonyoung chortles, holding up his phone again, activating the screen as it reveals their wallpaper, “Forever!”
“Uh, huh,” Jihoon smirks before walking away.
“Wait– Jihoon, you were supposed to agree!”