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"Does it hurt?"
"Of course it hurts," pouted Kant, lying on the hospital bed. "You shot me in the foot, Bison." He tried to put his hands on his hips, but being bedridden made it a bit hard.
"Well, it's not my fault you touched that girl's wrist."
"Firstly, I was giving her a tattoo, it's my job. Secondly, I'm gay."
"Yeah, whatever," waved his hand Bison, before the door opened and one more person was rolled into the room and put down on the bed right next to Kant by two nurses and another guy who whined all the time while doing it.
"Holy shit," said the patient boy. Despite being in a hospital gown he was also wearing a leather jacket for some reason. "You two look just like us."
"I have more muscles than you," shrugged his shoulders Kant.
The guy in black fluffy cardigan leaned in to look closely at Bison's face. "That's an ugly bucket hat," he said.
Bison scoffed and pulled his gun out, aiming at his lookalike's face.
"Bai!!" Snapped Kant. "Stop doing that! Sorry guys, my boyfriend has aggression problems. I'm Kant, this is Bison."
"I'm Ray," said the cardigan boy. "My boyfriend's Sand. And no worries, the first time we met he threatened to pee on me."
Bison looked at his boyfriend, "should we?"
"God, I want you to pee in my mouth," moaned Kant.
"Fucking freaks," scrunched his nose Ray. "What are you doing here?"
"He shot me in the foot," explained Kant.
"Cool," giggled Sand. "He threw a bottle of whiskey at me."
"Alcoholism," shrugged Ray.
"Better that, than on the wanted list in fifty countries," Kant whispered but Bison heard him nonetheless and pulled his gun out again.
"Sorry, what did you say?"
"Fuck, I hate Top," said Sand out of nowhere.
"Same," echoed him Ray.
"Then how do you fuck?" Tilted his head Kant. "I love topping." The need to put his hands on his hips was becoming unbearable.
The door opened and another pair of FirstKhaotungs was brought into the room. This time they were in school uniform.
"So why are you here?" Asked them Sand after the introductions.
"He pinned me to the wall and I almost had a heart attack," explained Akk.
Bison started singing Heart Attack by Chuu.
"Also my uncle is dead," added for no particular reason Ayan.
"So is my mom," chimed in Ray.
"And my parents," joined Kant.
"Mine too," got upset Bison.
"Why is it always us Firsts being sick?" Kant decided to sit up and finally took his hands on hips pose. It felt better than sex.
The door swung open again but this time only one First was rolled into the room in a wheelchair.
"Where's your Bison?"
"I don't like bovines," said Yok. "Why do y'all have a twink but I don't?"
"A twink?" Bison aimed the gun at his chest.
Yok's twink finally found his way into the room. "Hi, I'm Chonlatee," said the twink, holding a large bouquet of wildflowers. "No one knows me because my series is pure shit, but I know you, Yok. And you're the love of my life," he got down on one knee. "Please, marry me."
Startled Yok nodded frantically and room erupted with ovations and cheers.
At the wedding Sand was still wearing his leather jacket, and Akk was still frustrated about being gay, and Kant was still standing with his hands on his hips, and Bison almost murdered a bunch of people, and Ayan's uncle was still dead, and Ray was still obsessed with Mew, but this time they had each other to deal with their dead parents and questionable fashion choices as one big happy polycule.
The end.