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New Zealand looked in the mirror. Fingers bunched up the fabric of the pleated skirt, and the colony's face grew hot with shame. Something deep in his chest desperately ached. This was wrong. So, so, so wrong. His father's voice echoed in his head: men are men and women are women, and to go against this is to go against God. His father had brought up a boy. New Zealand was a boy.
- Newie, your face is so flushed!
His sister's laugh cut through his thoughts, making him crash back down into the present. The colony's head turned back to her, biting his lip nervously. Australia was half laid down on the bed, watching the display, seemingly delighted. She wore a simple tunic dress with a loose tie around the waist, much more comfortable than New Zealand's complicated ensemble. It resembled grown women's fashion much more closely.
- B... Because it's... It's humiliating! - He forced the words out.
- Aw, is it? If it were, you wouldn't have sat so still while I dressed you up.
Australia sounded smug when she said that, her eyes narrowing and a slight grin appearing in her expression. New Zealand hated how truthful that was. When his sister approached him with the idea, he was too much of a coward to say no. And when she dragged him into her room and started rummaging through her closet, he said nothing. When she told him to take off his clothes, he did that too, and without complaint.
- Besides, you look absolutely adorable. - She went on. - You'd be a really cute girl, Newie.
That was the last thing he wanted to hear right now. It profoundly hurt him for some reason, his throat beginning to tighten. Was Australia mocking him? There was no way that she was being earnest. Sure, she wasn't one to tell lies, but... When he looked at his face, he wondered if he could even begin to see a girl. He was still in the early stages of puberty, so he did not look masculine yet. His lips trembled.
- No, I wouldn't. - New Zealand responded, almost more to himself than to his sister.
Seemingly oblivious to his inner turmoil, or perhaps trying to deliberately provoke him, Australia spoke again. On the bed, she rolled onto her back, setting her hands on her stomach.
- Yes, you would! If you just grew out your hair a few inches and went back to wearing dresses, we'd look like sisters.
"Went back". New Zealand remembered the time when he was young enough that he hadn't had his breeching ceremony yet. That was a long time ago; once he had proved old enough to be able to go to the bathroom by himself, those days were over. The day when he wore the trousers for the first time, there was a party. He and Australia had been taken to Europe so that this occasion could be celebrated with their father. Rarely were they afforded such luxury. In fact, rarely did they even see him.
Yet, he wondered... If he hadn't proved himself capable, could he be wearing dresses to this day? New Zealand and Australia, side by side, in their summer dresses. Australia would be wearing a straw hat as to frame her frizzy hair; New Zealand's hair would be pinned up in the latest fashion. The alluring image remained in his mind for a few moments before he shook it off, shutting his eyes tight.
No! He was a boy, he was a boy! That was what he was; there was no other option, no other way. God had put him on this earth to grow into a man. The colony felt devastated at the thought of being like his father, or even like his distant brothers America and Canada. Still, that was the lot he had in life, and he would have to accept it.
New Zealand opened his mouth to tell Australia he wanted to take the dress off. Yet before he could, he looked up and saw that she was standing behind him. Her hands pulled on the skirt, spreading it out, and she put her chin against his shoulder.
- See? Sisters!
Looking back up to their faces, he saw what she was seeing for a moment. Two girls standing together. Australia with long hair and freckles. New Zealand with short hair and moles. Sisters, one casual and one formally dressed. A smile almost graced the expression of the pretty girl in the mirror.
And then he remembered that it was just a fantasy. Wishful thinking. New Zealand shook his head, lowering it so that Australia couldn't see the tears that were welling up in his eyes.
- I want to put my clothes back on now, Aussie. - He spoke, trying to stabilize his voice.
Disappointment reflected in her eyes. The other colony pouted, and her eyebrows furrowed.
- Why? - She questioned.
- Because I'm uncomfortable.
- What's wrong with wearing a dress, Newie?
New Zealand tried to catch his breath, starting to feel the tears starting to roll down his face. He turned around to face his sister, looking up since she was taller than he was. The girl put her hands on her hips, her pose almost intimidating. The colony tried not to let himself be afraid.
- I'm a boy, Aussie!
- So what? That doesn't mean anything. - Australia argued back.
- Yes, it does! - New Zealand snapped, his voice going up in pitch. - It means I can't wear dresses.
- And why is that?
He opened his mouth, but no words came out. The smaller colony was becoming increasingly frustrated. Was she seriously this stupid?
- Because I just can't! Boys don't do that!
- If you don't have a reasoning beyond "because yes", then it's not legitimate. - She scoffed.
- ... Father wouldn't want me wearing dresses. - New Zealand offered.
- Who cares about what our father wants? He's not here with us right now, is he?
Bewildered - that's what he felt at her words. What was she saying? Oh, God, he was losing this. No, he couldn't give leeway! Because if he did... If he... Swallowing nervously, New Zealand got ready to argue regarding religion. That would finally get through to her, wouldn't it? Australia steeped closer and set her hands on her brother's shoulders, her mood seemingly brightening.
- Besides, you know I've always wanted a sister! - She said. - I was soooo disappointed when I found out you were a boy, you know... You can be as manly as you want, Newie, but you'll always be my little sister!
He looked at her with widened eyes. What was she talking about? And why... Did he feel flattered? These feelings were conflicting in his heart, and they made it nearly impossible to think. New Zealand's cheeks burned as he choked the words out.
- Do you really think I could be a girl?
- Absolutely!
Australia seemed so certain. There was no hesitation in her voice, no pause for thinking. Out of nowhere, she seemed to be taking their conversation very seriously. The expression on her face was unusual - utterly unlike the mischievous girl that his sister always was. New Zealand pressed his legs together, his hands shooting down once more to the skirt.
- But I have a wee.
- And? Girls aren't defined by their private parts, you know! - Australia spoke, amused.
- I... I know! - He responded immediately, flustered. - But...
- Newie.
The other country grabbed onto his face. New Zealand was surprised at the gesture, feeling suddenly uncomfortable at those brown eyes locked onto his own.
- If you want to be a girl, you can just be a girl. You don't need any excuses, or any permission from anyone.
His shoulders drooped. The word that left his mouth was breathy, almost unintelligible.
- Really?
- Of course. - Australia smiled. - Do you want to be?
- ... Yes.
New Zealand nodded slowly. Although Australia said the colony didn't need permission, her sweet words almost sounded like such a thing. An explicit go-ahead; a confirmation that what New Zealand wanted was possible, that it was something that could actually be had and not strictly relegated to fantasies and dreams.
Australia turned New Zealand around, making it so that both of them were facing the mirror once more. Australia seemed extremely excited, a wide smile stretching across her freckled face.
- Presenting to the world, my little sister Newie! - She spoke, making an exaggerated gesture, as if presenting something to a group of people. - Isn't she the cutest?
It was like her heart started beating faster. Giggling involuntarily, New Zealand wiped the tears out of her face with the back of her hand. Australia was right - she was cute. Or she certainly felt that way right now. It was like the world suddenly opened up to her. New Zealand didn't have to be like Father, or America or Canada. She could be someone else entirely. Someone she actually wanted to be. A girl.
Well... At least, with Australia, she could be. New Zealand knew that there was no chance anyone else would understand. Her father's reputation would be in line if she were ever to dress like this in public. It was a dangerous, sinful secret. She wondered if anyone else could ever see her this way, or if she would always have to be a boy around everyone else. For now, she supposed she would only be able to wear dresses at home. It gave her a sense of power over herself.
New Zealand had never felt happier, however. Her sister had given her something precious. There was deep warmth running through her body - making her face flush harder, and her legs almost trembled in excitement. It was odd, but welcomed.
- Do you want to take the dress off now? - Australia teased.
- ... You know what the answer is. - She said, and after a pause, continued. - Thank you, Aussie.
- Of course, Newie.
She felt her sister's arms pull her into a hug, Australia burying her hair in New Zealand's hair. Unlike past times when the older colony hugged her like she was trying to squeeze the daylights out of her, this one was soft. Full of affection and tenderness. Then, she spoke with glee.
- Now, how do you feel about giving makeup a shot?
Oh, New Zealand could see the days of experimentation by her sister being laid out in front of her. Yet, this time, she didn't even think about resisting. With Australia taking the lead, then what was wrong in allowing it, really? They were simply two girls having fun and playing dress up. That was all there was to it.