Chapter Text
The air was thick with the scent of roses and lilacs, the purple and red flowers contrasting against the sea of black suits and beautiful dresses that filled the venue. Blake stood at the altar, hands clenched at his sides as he tried to steady his breath.
His heart pounded in his chest—not from excitement, but instead from a suffocating pressure pressing down on him. The wedding music played softly in the background, a gentle reminder of where he currently stood.
In front of him, Delilah smiled brightly, her hand resting gently on his arm. He couldn’t lie, she looked beautiful, but she wasn’t right for him. She should be everything he wants in a wife. The perfect match. But as he glanced at her, the tightness in his chest grew.
He wasn’t supposed to get married to her.
His eyes wandered around the venue, landing everywhere but Delilah’s own. How could he handle looking at those eyes, ones which were meant to hold admiration but instead were clouded over with annoyance?
He tried to accept it and make peace with the fact that he was trapped in this marriage—a loveless, arranged one. He tried to accept the fact that his heart was no longer his own, and his opinions barely had any effect. His father made it clear that being with a man was a sin, a weakness, an embarrassment.
He felt himself get tugged gently forward, yet he knew the gesture had malicious intent.
He leaned down, his head lowering next to hers. “Smile,” a sweet voice echoed into his ear, belonging to his soon-to-be wife. Her grip on his sleeve loosened, allowing him to pull back. Her hand lingered on his arm as she stared up at him, her eyes feigning warmth.
Blake cleared his throat, the corners of his lips curling up into an artificial smile. He had forgotten he was supposed to keep up a delighted front for this.
He took another look at the crowd as the priest made his way to the altar. His vision was blurred, the people’s faces a mess of polite smiles and excited murmurs.
The priest’s words were muffled, a blur of formality. Blake hardly heard them. All he could focus on was the weight of the moment—the heaviness of the decision, the suffocating realization that his life was slipping away from him, out of his control. He didn’t want this. He never wanted this. Not with her.
“Do you, Blake, take Delilah to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for better or for worse?” Blake was quickly brought to the present as the priest referred to him directly. All the eyes on him did not help to soothe his nerves.
His heart stuttered, the words hanging in the air like an anvil. He so badly wanted to say no—to scream that this isn’t what he wanted, that he couldn’t marry her when his heart belonged to someone else. But there was no escaping it, not anymore.
He swallowed hard. “I do,” he whispered, his voice barely above a breath. The words felt like they burned as they left his mouth. He could nearly throw up.
“And do you, Delilah, take Blake to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
Delilah’s smile was as bright as ever as she answered. “I do.” she said, her voice laced with feigned sincerity. Of course nobody would notice. Nobody would suspect this ‘angel’ to be deceitful. But Blake could see right through her act—the way her lips curled slightly at the corners with disgust, as if she were already counting down the minutes until she could leave and do whatever she truly desired.
It made him sick.
But there was nothing he could do.
As the priest continued with the ceremony, Blake’s mind wandered, his thoughts too chaotic to focus at the moment. His hands were still clenched at his sides, his knuckles white from the pressure. He had done what he was supposed to—he had said the words. The vows were a formality.
It wasn’t until the priest declared him husband and wife, the crowd erupting in applause, that Blake’s gaze shifted to the end of the rows of chairs, where the guests were beginning to stand. That’s when he saw him.
Collin.
Blake’s heart skipped a beat. He was handsomely dressed in a suit like the rest of the guests were, however he was special.
He had a rose boutonniere in his front suit pocket, and his hair was tied up into a ponytail using a red bandana.
The red bandana Blake had given him while saying his goodbyes.
Blake truly felt like he was going to throw up now, tears threatening to spill—Collin had already beat him to that. Tears rolled down his cheeks, spilling from green eyes that bore into his brown ones.
Despite the sadness evident in his eyes, Collin wore a smile on his lips, blond bangs falling down in front of his face.
Blake hadn’t noticed Collin until now. He was too lost in the ceremony, in the crushing realization that his life was spiraling into something that he didn’t want.
Blake’s breath caught in his throat as his eyes locked with Collin’s. There was something raw and desperate that tore through Blake like a razor. He would give anything to abandon this wedding for Collin.
His pulse raced, and for a moment, everything else faded. He could feel the weight of Collin’s gaze like a brand on his skin. It burnt so badly, but he loved it. He wishes he could hoard Collin greedily for his own—but how could he do that, if he wasn’t even his anymore?
Delilah had her gaze on the two the entire time. She didn’t love Blake at all, but having Collin have him was an even worse option. With anger brewing in her veins, she gave Collin a dagger-like glare.
Her hand squeezed Blake’s arm, snapping him back to reality. Her touch was cold and unloving. He just couldn’t believe how empty she actually was.
She was smiling at him now, her hand resting against his chest. Blake had no doubt that she was only pretending to care. To pretend to be the doting wife.
“You may now kiss the bride.”
It didn’t matter. The vows were said, the ring placed, and Blake was bound. Bound to a life he never wanted, with someone who didn’t care, while the person who he loved—the one who loved him back—stood back in the crowd, helpless.
“Congratulations,” Delilah said, her voice dripping with insincerity as she leaned him to kiss him. Her lips pressed against his, lacking any warmth or affection.
And as she kissed him, Blake’s mind was a thousand miles away, back to the moment he had shared with Collin.
Back to the words and touches they had shared in secret.
To the love that would never be theirs.
Not now.
Not ever.
His eyes darted back to look at where Collin had previously stood, only to be met with emptiness and the lack of his lover.