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Jyushi collapsed onto his bed, immediately hiding under the covers like the baby he was, dragging Amanda to his chest and holding her close.
Today was such a nice day, but he couldn’t help but feel like shit once the adrenaline of everything wore off. Hitoya had helped get him outside after so many weeks of isolation, taking him to one of his dream concerts. He loved it! Hitoya was so unbelievably kind, and it hurt Jyushi’s heart. She shouldn’t do this when she knows he’ll still be miserable.
She tried so much to help, and while the rush of excitement and adrenaline fueled him, he always crashed when he was alone, with nobody around him, nobody to keep him safe.
Except for Amanda.
She was always there for him. Whenever he needed her, she would be there. He could hold her so easily, and when he did he felt so much better. She was a balm to his rampant thoughts, to his harsh words of self-deprivation.
He brought her up to his face, hiding his face in her soft body and just breathing. She smelt like the milk from… how many weeks ago even was it, now? She smelt like burnt fabric, like blood, like everything horrible and traumatic. She smelt like pain. But she was still safe, even if the scent of her made Jyushi break down harder.
Was anything really going to get better, even after all of this? The concert was already fading in his mind. It was like he was trying to block anything that happened out of his mind. But it was so perfect, the whole thing. He was still somewhat in a state of bliss, though all his jumbled up feelings made his brain fuzzy.
No matter what happened, Amanda would still be there. Jyushi would keep her safe. She needed to be safe. She was just as hurt as Jyushi, maybe even more.
The safety lulled Jyushi to a peaceful slumber through his tears, thoughts of his future being foregone and replaced by a dreamless sleep.