Work Text:
Yushi is not a jealous person. At least that’s what he thinks.
If he were a jealous person, he wouldn’t like it when his teammates are loving and doting towards Daeyoung. Yushi would frown when Sion hogs the front seat of the van or pushes food into Daeyoung’s mouth. He would clench his fists in silence when Riku cuddles with Daeyoung, whether they’re on a schedule or at the dorms. However, Yushi does none of that since none of those actions make him feel a certain way. Because he’s not a jealous person. He totally understands that Daeyoung can enjoy his time with others, it would be absurd not to.
It's fine. It’s absolutely fine. In fact, Yushi even thinks that it’s cute. Sion and Riku like Daeyoung so much, and Yushi can’t say he isn’t delighted. They treat him like their maknae, even when the three of them insist that he’s quite mature for being barely 20. It’s endearing.
Unfortunately, Yushi is the only one who thinks that he’s not a jealous person.
Sion, of course, disagrees with him. Oftentimes, he reminds Yushi that his own jealousy almost costed him a scandal. He’s blunt about it in a way that makes Yushi roll his eyes and pretend not to listen to him. What a liar! He wasn’t jealous back then. In fact, Yushi doesn’t even know what he’s talking about. He erased that embarrassing memory from his mind. The past is past, and he won’t be the one to judge old Yushi’s terrible decisions.
Riku also disagrees, though. He claims that Yushi gets jealous easily but hides it very well. He would rather die than show the world that something is bothering him because it’s like admitting that he cares way too much about it. He’s too proud for that. Yushi hates to say this, but that does sound like him. It’s not his fault that he’s dense and bad at feelings, okay?
However, Yushi doesn’t care about their opinions. They are all wrong, anyway.
If someone were to ask him, he would say that his problem is that he’s rather greedy and selfish. Those are the two traits that define his character and that work like a doble-edged sword for him. They push him forward, but they also make him trip and stumble over his own feet.
Yushi’s greed is quiet but persistent. It seeps into everything he does, akin to a motor that keeps him afloat and pushes him to strive further for what he desires. It’s been there ever since he was the kid who didn’t pass the ball during soccer practice and wanted to score the most goals. It led him to an audition and turned him into the perfectionist trainee who never rested and danced until his sore muscles couldn’t keep him on his feet anymore. It’s the sole reason why Yushi is where he is now. For him, nothing is never enough. He can always get more. He can always shine a little bit brighter. It’s not Yushi’s fault to be this ambitious, except that maybe it is.
It's a crazy combination: greed, selfishness, determination. They’re all hidden underneath those deceiving features that make him look like a docile person. Tokuno Yushi wants everything—he could have the world in his hands if he tried hard enough.
So, it’s probably his own greed the one that makes him want to be Daeyoung’s sole focus of attention. It’s not that he’s jealous; it’s his persistent need to have Daeyoung’s eyes on him all the time and to be everything he ever thinks about. Yushi wants Daeyoung all for himself—is that a deadly sin?
But it’s hard. It’s hard because his boyfriend is gathering a lot of attention lately, and Yushi doesn’t know what to do. It’s driving him insane, and Yushi likes to think that he’s too calm and collected for this.
📸…
The members have always known that their fandom is curious about Daeyoung.
They all saw the comments under some of their videos, of people asking who was ONLYOU’s new member only to discover that they’re still a trio. Daeyoung being the same age as them played a big part in that common misunderstanding; however, it was only that: a common misunderstanding. It never escalated. It wasn’t big enough to become a running joke among the fans.
Sion sharing multiple TMI’s about Daeyoung didn’t help either. Their leader has always been quite talkative, so hearing their manager’s name slip off Sion’s mouth was never really surprising either. Sometimes, some fans would ask who Daeyoung was, and every time, Sion would explain that it’s just their manager. It was routine, but it never went beyond that.
Of course, fans would see Daeyoung during their schedules: he was the tall, lean guy with long bangs that was always around ONLYOU. Sometimes he wore a mask, sometimes he didn’t. They saw him carry their bags in the airport, follow the members, and, occasionally, get teased by them. But fans never paid him much attention—he was just there, looking like a very normal guy next to the three idols.
Daeyoung has become a mere presence in the fandom’s eyes. There’s not enough curiosity around his existence to turn him into an enigma. Not yet at least. They know he exists, but they don’t intrude any further. And that’s fine. Daeyoung has always liked being behind the scenes. He has always liked doing his job in peace amidst the frenzy of the idol life. He’s not keen on being in the spotlight because he’s not supposed to be there. The ONLYOU fans are not supposed to look at him, but keep their eyes on Sion, Riku and Yushi—that’s how life is intended to be.
But that’s until they have a schedule in Japan that messes up with this already established normalcy and shakes the ground under Daeyoung’s (and Yushi’s, in consequence) feet.
See, one of the reasons why Daeyoung doesn’t drag the fandom’s attention is because he’s quite modest. Daeyoung is not the kind of person who focuses too much on his appearance. He always wears plain clothes and combs his hair the same way, with his bangs flatly falling over his forehead. Most of the time he’s wearing a pair of jeans and a hoodie—zip up or not—and he has thick-framed glasses carefully perched on his nose on the occasions he chooses to ditch the contact lenses. It’s simple, not too flashy. A bit loserish, too, but Yushi likes it. It doesn’t make him any less attractive, in fact, his puppy eyes and loserish charm are definitely what captivated Yushi—but that would be embarrassing to admit.
Sometimes Yushi sees him roam around the dorm and he looks so normal and ordinary that it drives him a bit insane. It’s stupid, in the same way that it’s stupid that Daeyoung could look so cute and hot every time he wears those big glasses and oversized hoodies. The gentle expression he always sports only makes things worse. Like a cherry on top, Yushi occasionally hears Daeyoung’s low laugh in another room—the one that sounds like Daeyoung is hearing the funniest thing in the entire world—and Yushi thinks that he’s just so foolish. It’s absurd, how being so ordinary makes him look so stupidly attractive. Such a hot and tall loser.
But this time, something prompts Daeyoung to dress up a bit more for the airport. There’s not an actual reason behind it, Daeyoung does it just because he feels like it. So, he takes his time parting his hair to leave his forehead exposed—something he seldom does—and carefully curates an outfit. He’s wearing a light blue shirt over a white tee, with his sleeves rolled up to show off the silver watch that Sion gifted him on his wrist. The outfit is finished with a black bag swung across his torso and nonchalant white airdrops on his ears.
What’s the problem with that? The problem is that he looks hot, in a way he rarely does, and most people have eyes.
When Yushi sees him get in the car and drive while looking like that, he swears his mouth goes dry. In fact, Yushi can’t stop staring at him from his spot at the back of the van, and he’s a bit dumbfounded even. He really tries to mask his reaction, but he’s staring so hard that he fails in a way that’s almost pathetic. When they reach the airport, Riku has to elbow him in the ribs so he can start acting like a normal person again.
“Yuu-chan, there are cameras here!” Riku shout-whispers with gritted teeth as they pose for the journalists who had been waiting for them at the airport, and Yushi really attempts to compose himself.
It's ridiculous how much it affects him. Yushi knows Daeyoung is hot—stupidly hot and attractive. Sometimes it almost feels like he’s seeing him for the first time again, and Yushi wonders if he will ever get used to this. Seeing him roam around the dorm in big hoodies, thick glasses, gentle gestures and foolish laughter like a hot loser is one thing; this is entirely different. The worst part is that Daeyoung doesn’t even seem to realize his impact. His obliviousness gets frustrating because it only makes him more stupid and more attractive. What a deadly combination.
In retrospect, Daeyoung is probably unaware of how good he looks today and the way Yushi can’t tear his eyes off him. The problem is that Yushi is not the only person in the airport with his eyes trained on the K-pop manager. Everyone notices Kim Daeyoung walking alongside ONLYOU.
For the first time, Daeyoung manages to get the attention of the fans and steals the spotlight directly from the idol group’s hands. It’s not deliberate, and it’s more of an accident, but that’s the first step Daeyoung takes in the path of becoming something more than a mere presence for the ONLYOU fandom. The fans look at him and gush about his looks in a way they couldn’t have thought before. He not only drives the girls at the airport crazy, but also the ones watching on the world wide web.
The greedy part inside Yushi doesn’t want to allow it. He wants to scream, but he can’t. The world can’t know that he’s head over heels over his manager. First, because that would be embarrassing; second, because their relationship is still pretty much a secret, so technically he shouldn’t have a reason to feel like a hissing cat.
📸…
ICN Airport - ONLYOU’s manager stuns with incredible airport fashion | Dispatch
Read comments:
@hellofuture: Is everyone in that group supposed to be hot? Even their manager? So unfair…
@foryouonly: OMG Daeyoung, I hadn’t seen you well before 😳 He was usually so cute and inconspicuous that I never paid much attention to him but he’s actually so hot ><
@virtual4ngel: I’m speechless. I don’t even stan this group but maybe I might now.
@siooooooonie: Sorry, guys… Sion, Riku and Yushi, I’m so sorry. I will become a fan of your manager instead.
@mokpoboy: You have stolen my heart, manager-nim. Take it, it’s all yours.
@babycalf: Even their fansites ditched them ㅋㅋㅋㅋ my timeline is filled with pictures of Daeyoung instead ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
@tokuneko: Heol, he is so hot and attractive that not even Yushi is immune to him, can we talk about how he’s staring at him at the back of EVERY picture? LMAO He’s just boring holes into his poor manager and, honestly? SAME
📸…
Sion is the first one to point out their fans’ behavior as soon as they settle in their hotel in Japan. He sends a link to a viral post to their group chat: it’s a fan-taken video of Daeyoung at the airport; in the caption, OP threatens to drop the entirety of ONLYOU for their manager. It’s full of comments, and they all look the same.
Riku replies to it right away:
“woah, Daeng, you’re so popular O:”
Then, Sion responds too:
“don’t steal our fans ㅋㅋㅋㅋ ”
Yushi doesn’t send anything. Instead, he sighs out loud. His eyes are glued to the post. Unfortunately, it’s not the only one out there. There’s more. Sion keeps sending links: fans and non-fans gushing about ONLYOU’s manager, their fansites posting pictures of him, and even an official article is released.
Daeyoung replies, totally embarrassed:
“hyung, stop it :(“
But Yushi doesn’t send an answer. There isn’t anything smart enough he could say. He does agree with them, but there’s something about this situation that just makes him uncomfortable, and Yushi would rather not comment on it.
His silence doesn’t go unnoticed, though. Sion and Riku pick up on it right away since they’re always attentive to the way Yushi reacts when it comes to Daeyoung; it earns him some teasing, too, but Yushi chooses to ignore it. His teammates don’t know that he’s dating their manager, although they’re quite aware of their feelings for each other. Their teasing is pointless. Yushi won’t bite the bait for them this time, he’s better than that.
He’s busy thinking about other things, like the reason why his fans are suddenly interested in their manager, for example. Yushi really wants to be nonchalant about this entire situation, but he can’t ignore the unsettling feeling that pools in the pit of his stomach as he blinks at his phone and the open post. It’s akin to an itch he can’t scratch, and the more he tries to ignore it, the more uncomfortable it gets.
It’s just—why? It’s confusing. It pisses him off for absolutely no reason. The jokes are fucking stupid. He thought his own fans would have a greater sense of humor. “I’m gonna stop stanning you heheheheh. Now I’m your manager’s fan.” Do they realize how they sound? Absolutely boy crazy! Now Yushi is questioning whether they even like him for who he really is. Is it that easy to become a fan of someone?
Deep down, Yushi knows that his discomfort doesn’t lean into that line. He’s not that possessive; he doesn’t mind if his own fans like someone else even when he has to pretend otherwise for the sake of the character. They’re free to do whatever they want. Plus, it’s not Daeyoung’s fault to be likeable. In fact, Yushi would understand—he is Daeyoung’s fan, too. His first fan ever, probably. Except that they don’t like Daeyoung for the reasons Yushi does. That’s upsetting.
His own fans are talking about Daeyoung like he’s a piece of meat and not a real person, and an irrational part of him wants to gatekeep him. Stop talking about him! Daeyoung is not an idol, he’s a normal citizen, for fuck’s sake. Why are his pictures everywhere? Why is everyone saying that dating him should be easier than dating one of the members? Does no one have an ounce of respect for Kim Daeyoung?
Yushi is going insane.
“Don’t you think it is weird?” He finds himself asking that question out loud when Riku comes back to their shared hotel room.
Riku simply stops on his tracks to throw him a look before flopping on his bed.
“Is that what you were thinking the last 30 minutes while you stared at the wall in silence?”
Yushi whines. It’s not loud enough for Riku to hear it. Then, he sinks on his spot in his own bed and finally turns around. It’s his attempt to hide from Riku’s inquisitive eyes. It doesn’t work.
“Come on, Yuu-chan. You can’t be serious.” Yushi doesn’t reply. Riku’s voice gets sweeter. “Hey, it was a joke. Come here, let’s cuddle.”
📸…
Yushi tries really hard to pretend that he’s not bothered by this situation. In fact, you know what? He doesn’t even care about it. He tries to remain as calm and collected and prince-like as always. No one who sees him sitting in front of a mirror while he gets his makeup done would think that there’s a very ugly feeling starting to boil inside him. He’s fine. Absolutely.
Instead, Yushi only cares about Daeyoung’s pitiful eyes when he looks for him. They’re at the backstage of a Japanese radio station waiting to be interviewed, but that doesn’t stop his boyfriend from curling his body against Yushi’s side and silently ask for head pats. Yushi doesn’t even hesitate to tread his fingers along Daeyoung’s hair. He looks so worried lately that he kind of resembles a sad wet puppy. He doesn’t say anything, but he must be overwhelmed by the sudden attention. Yushi would be a terrible hyung if he ignored that part, and there’s nothing he wants more than care for his only dongsaeng.
Daeyoung never complains. Sometimes he might tell Sion to stop teasing him, but that’s it. But Yushi can see him succumb under the pressure and the fans’ expectations, even though it’s not a part of the job description. When it’s time to fly back to Korea, he can tell that Daeyoung is paying more attention to his appearance and he’s making the effort to look good just in case. Yushi tells him that it’s okay and he shouldn’t do this if he doesn’t want to, but Daeyoung remains quiet.
It causes yet another fuss at the airport. This time Daeyoung fluffs his hair a little and wears a cream sweater under a brown leather jacket—everything is color coordinated. It’s actually cute; Yushi wants to die. Of course, the fans think he’s cute, too. Yushi rolls his eyes. Another hundred posts about ONLYOU’s manager floods the internet again. The only thing that keeps him grounded is knowing that online discourse never lasts.
The hype will die down eventually, and Yushi will stop looking like a sulky cat. He will be able to breathe in peace again.
📸…
Scratch that. Yushi can’t breathe. He’s going insane and it’s all Sion’s fault.
ONLYOU is back in Korea, ready to perform in a televised festival. They’re already at the venue preparing for their rehearsals, but there is a not-exactly-little problem: the group is not complete. Sion was supposed to attend a solo schedule for a magazine in the morning; however, there was a delay in some of the shoots, and he hasn’t been able to wrap up that schedule yet. Which means that it’s only Riku and Yushi for today.
This inconvenience messes up with the well-crafted routine they always follow during every single festival or music show: they rehearse on stage to make sure that everything is okay for the actual performance, put on their stage outfits, get their makeup and hair done, wait for their actual turn while taking selfies or recording a vlog, and, finally, they perform. Throughout all that, Daeyoung usually has to run around making sure that they stick to the timetable, everyone has their mics, and the entire routine gets done successfully. But now they’re already failing although they’re barely on step 1.
There are a number of reasons why being without their leader right now is troublesome. Someone has to check whether Sion’s mic works properly or not, and there’s also the camera test, where cameramen have to know when to focus on Sion and what to capture during the actual performance. They must find a way to get through that without Sion but, honestly, Daeyoung is stressed as he scrambles for a plausible and quick solution. He tries not to show it, but he still pulls Yushi to a more secluded area where no one can see them just so he can hug Yushi and whine against his neck for 5 seconds.
“We’ll find a way, don’t worry.” Yushi pats his back in a reassuring motion.
When Daeyoung looks at him with worried eyes, Yushi shoots him a gentle smile. That seems to ease Daeyoung’s worries away.
Luckily, the minutes they used to hug each other away from prying eyes gave Riku time to light up the imaginary lightbulb over his head. When they come back to the waiting room, he’s expecting them with a certain glimmer in his eyes that only means that he thought of something.
“Daeyoung-ah,” he calls. There’s a styling noona helping him with his mic pack as he gets ready to go on stage. “Do you know the lyrics of ‘Attitude’?”
The manager frowns, confused.
“Yeah, why?”
“And you’ve seen us practice before, right? So you must know the positions.”
Daeyoung is still wearing that puzzled expression on his face when he nods, but Yushi has an inkling of where this is going. The mischief in Riku’s growing smirk only confirms Yushi’s suspicions.
“You can take Sion hyung’s spot.”
“What?!”
“It wouldn’t be the first time a manager gets on stage.”
A stylist noona butts in the conversation, a giggle trapped behind her teeth. “Oh my god, do you remember Apink’s manager dancing to ‘Remember’? That was so cute.”
“Daeyoung-ah, that could be you!” That’s one of the social media noonas, moving the camera so she can shoot Daeyoung’s reaction for the upcoming vlog that will come out of this schedule. He’s nervously moving his eyes from every person in the room to the other as his ears become a deep shade of red. All the staff are encouraging him—what can he possibly do, really? Say no? It’s ONLYOU’s honor, and Daeyoung would never do something that could compromise his beloved group (except, maybe, date their maknae behind everybody’s back, but that’s not relevant in this discussion).
While the staff is busy hollering and pushing Daeyoung to accept, Riku is giggling like he’s such a genius. Daeyoung turns around to look at Yushi, silently asking him what he thinks about this. And, honestly? Hell yeah, sure! Yushi barely shrugs. If that’s what they have to do to get their rehearsals done, then Daeyoung should just get on stage. It’s not like he will be performing anyway; he can just stand there.
Yushi hurries to look for Sion’s name tag abandoned in the vanity table and slips it over Daeyoung’s head. His manager has helped them countless times before, so it’s only fair to help him get ready in return too.
“Are you nervous?” Yushi asks in a soft voice as he moves the wires connected to Sion’s in-ears.
“A little bit,” Daeyoung chuckles lowly. He brings a hand to his chest, as if trying to check on the state of his own heartbeat. “I feel like I’m making my debut.”
Yushi smiles, now lifting the back of Daeyoung’s sweater to connect something to the mic pack.
“You don’t have to dance, you know? You can just stand there and mumble the lyrics.”
“I want to do well, though. To help you. Like it’s the real thing.”
This time Yushi actually lets out a soft laugh. Of course Daeyoung would say something like that. In a way, he’s a bit of an overachiever, but Yushi likes that.
“You don’t have to try too hard. It’s just a rehearsal.”
But what can he expect from his boyfriend? Of course he will try hard and do his best—it wouldn’t be Daeyoung if he wasn’t trying to do things the right way.
Just like that, they move to the stage. Yushi and Riku look over Daeyoung because they’re the actual idols and they want to make sure that their manager is doing well, but Daeyoung seems to find his spot naturally after spending so much time watching them. Riku does their group greeting and explains that their manager will be taking Sion’s spot due to an inconvenience, and then they get in their positions to start the rehearsals.
As soon as the song starts, Yushi learns that his boyfriend’s will to do his best in absolutely everything he does is a double-edged sword.
Yushi knows he should focus. It might be a rehearsal, but that doesn’t mean that he’s allowed to slack off. He should be focusing on finding the cameras, singing his lines and doing the choreography as if he were performing in front of his fans. However, when Daeyoung is performing next to him, that becomes an impossible task.
For a moment, Yushi swears that he can hear Riku’s giggles in his in-ear, and when he turns to look at his teammate, he finds out that Riku’s face is all scrunched up as he laughs as their manager. So, Yushi turns around too and what he finds leaves him almost paralyzed: Oh Sion’s soul has taken over Kim Daeyoung’s body. He’s dancing as if he were the one who spent hours and hours in front of the mirrors of the dance practice room. But it’s not only that—Daeyoung is singing too, with his full chest and Yushi can’t stop staring.
There’s a mixture of shock, amusement and amazement mixing together inside of Yushi, and it’s so overwhelming that he can barely focus. Yushi wishes he could control himself, but he can’t stop staring at Daeyoung in absolute awe. He tries to look at the camera, but his neck moves on its own. It gets to a point where he even misses a beat during his bridge part, and when the camera focuses on him for his ending fairy, Yushi can barely gather himself together and react, only giving the camera a meek smile.
When they finish their rehearsal and get off the stage, Yushi is flustered and absent-minded, still trying to process what the hell just happened. His heart is beating like it wants to run off his chest, and Yushi is sure that it’s not because he overexerted himself right there. His own cheeks are burning, and the only thing Yushi can do is blink rapidly as he tries to compose himself and trail behind Daeyoung and Riku in silence. In the distance, he can hear Riku teasing their manager while Daeyoung rambles about how weird that felt, but the truth is that their voices come to Yushi’s ears like white noise.
What the hell was that? What the fuck just happened?
He didn’t know Daeyoung could dance like that. Fuck, Yushi is almost sure that some many nights ago, in the safety of the practice room, Daeyoung told him that he didn’t know how to dance. Although there was barely any technique in his movements, they were so swift and clean that Yushi is sure that he could be really good with a little bit more practice. He can even rival the hundreds of kids who show up to SM’s infamous Saturday auditions.
And his voice? It’s still replaying at the back of Yushi’s mind. If Yushi closes his eyes, he’s sure he will be able to hear Daeyoung singing Sion’s adlibs. The hairs at the back of Yushi’s neck stand like they’ve been shot by electricity, and a shiver travels up his entire body. He has heard their manager hum under his breath countless times before—in the kitchen, while he drives, after practice, while playing the piano—but this is different. This is the first time Yushi sees him sing like this: so confident and like he owns the song. Scratch that—it’s the first time Daeyoung has the opportunity to show off this side of him, and Yushi thinks he falls a bit deeper.
His brain is short-cutting. There is a secret explosion inside his head, invisible to the outsider eye. Yushi can no longer form coherent thoughts because the only thing in his mind is the image of Daeyoung performing on-stage and looking like an absolute idol. He’s so used to seeing him exist like a normal guy that the sight of this side of his boyfriend is strong enough to cause him whiplash. This might be even worse than seeing him all dolled up at the airport.
As soon as they get to the waiting room, Yushi’s body starts moving on autopilot. From a slight distance, his eyes are glued to Daeyoung while their manager takes Sion’s mic pack and name tag off, like a sharp kitten swinging its tail at the sight of a prey. He’s waiting for the perfect moment to jump on him. The moment he sees an opportunity, he rushes to grab Daeyoung’s arm and drag him down the hall with the poor excuse of needing help with a wardrobe malfunction.
Daeyoung remains oblivious to Yushi’s ploys. There’s a question dancing on his lips that gets overlooked the moment Yushi pushes the door of the bathroom stall open and Daeyoung’s body onto the closed toilet seat. It’s not fancy at all, and he feels an almost teenage-like thrill when the door is closed behind his body and Daeyoung looks at him with big sparkly eyes, still unaware of what Yushi wants to do to him.
Daeyoung opens his mouth to ask if there is a problem again, but Yushi doesn’t let him. The words get cut off the moment Yushi straddles Daeyoung’s lap and presses their mouths together. The kiss is fierce and deep from the very beginning, and Yushi doesn’t even allow Daeyoung to breathe. He wants to devour him before someone else does. Of course, his boyfriend responds to the kiss almost immediately, melting under him. His big hands grip Yushi’s waist over the fabric of his stage clothes, and Yushi feels victorious even when Daeyoung seems to debate whether to push him away or closer.
“Hyung,” Daeyoung’s voice comes out whiny. It’s almost a whisper, and it’s even a bit pathetic. “We can’t.”
The idol takes a second to breathe. He opens his eyes and stares at his manager with a frown. Yushi brings the hand that had been previously resting on Daeyoung’s shoulder to caress his face. It’s meant to be a coquettish gesture, to see if he can manage to drive Daeyoung insane.
“Just five minutes.”
Yushi goes to capture Daeyoung’s lips on his own again. It’s still as passionate as before, and Yushi can swear he heard Daeyoung moan against his mouth, but his boyfriend pushes him away in an instant, as if he were scared to slip and fall too deep. His eyes are coated by panic, and it only makes the scowl on Yushi’s face deepen. They’re supposed to make out, why is Daeyoung trying to stop him? It’s so frustrating.
“Why—” The manager’s words morph into a sigh. Yushi is kissing his jaw now, slowly descending into his skin. He can feel Daeyoung fight the urge to turn into a puddle. Is it his fault that Yushi is a menace? Not really, but he still has to pay for it. “Why are you acting like this?”
“You’re hot.” Yushi mumbles against his neck. The grip of Daeyoung’s hands tightens—the fabric is all crumpled under his fingers, and they’re sure the stylist noonas will notice. “You didn’t tell me you could do all that. I had to find out like this.”
“Hyung, now you know how I feel whenever I see you per—”
There’s a phone vibrating. The bubble pops. It annihilates the entire vibe, and Yushi feels like banging his head against the wall of the bathroom stall the moment they drift apart. When Daeyoung answers the call, he sounds as chirpy as ever. Daeyoung acts completely unaffected, like nothing happened. It’s frustrating. Begrudgingly, Yushi gets off his lap and leaves the bathroom. Perhaps Daeyoung trails behind him, asking if he’s mad, but Yushi doesn’t even look back.
📸…
BLOSSOM SPRING FESTIVAL in Seoul – ONLYOU ‘Attitude’ (Rehearsal Fancam)
Read Comments:
@virtual4ngel: oh don’t tell me that this cutie can dance and sing too… he should just become a part of the group atp
@siooooooonie: KIM DAEYOUUUUUUUUNG JUST ONE CHANCE
@bringbackloona: ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ this is so funny why did they bring their manager on stage ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ and why is he so good
@yourocean: i’m not even mad at sion not being there this is so epic
@leehaechan_LOML: 2:51 the manager’s adlibs sound so good here, though? his voice is insane. please someone tell me why SM decided to hire him as a manager and not as a trainee.
@foryouonly: Can we take a moment to look at Riku and Yushi? ㅎㅎ they’re so cute looking at Daeyoungie like that, especially Riku, I haven’t seen him laugh like that in a long time <3
@nekozzz: 2:29 oh my god yushi STAND UP ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ he was so focused on the manager that he fumbled the lyrics ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
📸…
Sion is having the time of his life. He’s doing that very annoying thing where he laughs out loud and doubles his body forward as if whatever-is-in-front-of-him just invented comedy. He laughs at anything, but it’s even more annoying when he does it with intent. Yushi throws him a murderous glare, discreet enough for no one to notice. This is not even funny. Everyone is laughing, too, but that doesn’t mean this situation is hilarious, okay? If anything, it’s infuriating, but Yushi only limits himself to stand silently at the side and frown like a sulky cat.
He should have seen this coming—no, they all should have. Of course Riku’s stupid idea would lead to this. Sion, who just arrived and hasn’t changed yet, is still laughing with his arm extended. He’s showing everyone that a fancam of their rehearsals went viral. The staff are laughing with him, and everyone is teasing Daeyoung, who looks like he doesn’t know where to hide.
“Hyung, stop!” Daeyoung whines, but that only makes everyone want to tease him more. Yushi can hear one of the social media noonas mutter that Daeyoungie is really cute, and that this should definitely be kept in the vlog.
“Why didn’t you tell us you could sing and dance?”
“It’s not a big deal, hyung.” Daeyoung is pouting now.
Yushi can’t even bring himself to watch this nonsense. He likes to tease Daeyoung, too, and in any other circumstance he would have joined in the teasing, but this time Yushi finds everything annoying. He just wants everyone to shut up.
“He’s seriously so good,” says Riku now, laughing with his entire face. Yushi feels betrayed.
“Maybe I should have taken my time with the photoshoot,” Sion adds, and everyone bursts out in even louder laughter. “You don’t need me here! Daeyoung should go on stage.”
“Hyung, don’t say that.”
“What are the comments saying anyway?”
Everyone turns around to look at Yushi. His voice is soft and to anyone it merely sounds curious, maybe intrigued, too. The laughter dies almost immediately, and Yushi wants to curse himself. He didn’t even notice he had opened his mouth, and now all the attention is on him. Riku’s expression morphs into a knowing smirk, and Sion gets closer to him.
“Oh? Do you really want to know?” Sion doesn’t even give him space to answer. He’s quick to shove the phone up to Yushi’s face: great mistake. Sion knows exactly what he’s doing judging by the mischief that paints his entire face. Yushi regrets speaking, but he remains quiet as he peeks at the screen. Sion’s eyes are fixed on his reaction, but Yushi won’t give him the satisfaction of showing him what he wants to see. It’s almost a private conversation, in which Sion asks about his opinion and Yushi pretends that his mind is blank.
But he can’t lie. That disgusting feeling that settles in his stomach and makes him uneasy is back again, and this time it threatens to go up his throat. It burns him alive from the inside even when Yushi tries to ignore it. The worst part is that it stays even when the joke has long gone and they’re getting ready to go on stage. Yushi can’t even pretend to smile because there is something poking at his lungs and it stings, and Daeyoung doesn’t even notice.
📸…
[4K] “Attention” - ONLYOU YUSHI focus | BLOSSOM SPRING FESTIVAL in Seoul | fancam
Read Comments:
@tokuneko: I’ve been a fan of Yushi ever since his debut but this is the first time I see him perform like this o: his movements are so different, they have so much power, he’s so magnetic
@nekozzz: he went on stage mad as hell lol idk who made him this angry but i should thank them
@yutkul4eva: not a single smile in the entire song!! i love when yushi looks angry during his performances :3c
@bubblenyang: this might be yushi’s best performance ever
@ushibaby: i hope he never smiles he looks so hot when he’s angry
📸…
Yushi admits it. He’s burning with jealousy. It took two viral posts to tip him to the edge and finally find a name for that sweltering sensation that expands inside him every time someone outside their circle mentions Daeyoung’s name. It’s completely irrational, but feelings are not supposed to have an explanation. Yushi finally understands: that nagging discomfort comes from witnessing all the people who keep looking at his boyfriend, talking about and going after him.
Yushi has been angry lately, and not even Sion’s goofy comments have been able to change the scowl that has become a permanent part of his overall demeanor. He’s tense and nothing makes him smile—there is always something reminding him of the reason why he’s been so upset these days. It’s like there’s a dark cloud following him, to the point where everyone can sense that he’s bothered, and he can’t do anything about it. His emotions have taken control of him.
Yushi has tried to hide it, though, but every attempt is futile. He can’t hide what he feels. He can’t pretend that he doesn’t hate the way his boyfriend’s name has been in everyone’s mouths lately. It shouldn’t be like that. People on the internet shouldn’t talk like that about Daeyoung: lusting after him, calling him a thousand names—they shouldn’t because that’s Yushi’s job and no one else. If Daeyoung wants to hear that he’s handsome, talented, attractive, and the perfect boyfriend, he can just go to Yushi, and he would say the same things and a thousand more. Daeyoung doesn’t need all those strangers who want a piece of him even though they don’t know him.
And, perhaps, the truth is that Yushi feels threatened. He is insecure because he knows that all those faceless strangers are right to admire Daeyoung like that. Deep down, Yushi agrees with them, even though he’s adamant of the idea that they have no right to speak about ONLYOU’s manager like that. He can’t help but feel insecure now that everyone can see how amazing Daeyoung is. What if someone takes Daeyoung from him? What if his boyfriend realizes that Yushi is not enough? Yushi has never felt like this before, he doesn’t even know where this ugly feeling comes from, but it’s there, and it’s gently climbing every centimeter of his skin.
Yushi doesn’t know how it happens, but he lets his feelings swarm every corner of his brain to the point that he starts shutting off the entire world—suddenly everything and everyone is annoying and bothersome. He starts ignoring every person in a meter radius, and no one dares to approach him either because of his sullen expression—luckily, being an already quiet person makes the change a little bit more subtle; there’s still people who notice (namely Sion and Riku), although they choose to leave him alone, rotting on the sense of disgust that inhabits his stomach.
The worst part is that Daeyoung is still oblivious to how he feels. Yushi shouldn’t get upset, but he thought his boyfriend was more attentive. He knows Daeyoung looks over every member of ONLYOU to cater to their every need, especially Yushi. Daeyoung did tell him that his sight was set on him all the time. So why hasn’t he noticed the way Yushi feels now? It frustrates him even more, and he gets even more sulky. Yushi should be liked, pampered, and even petted if it’s necessary—that’s the formula to love him the right way. Why isn’t Daeyoung doing that?
(Deep down, Yushi knows it’s not Daeyoung’s fault. He shouldn’t be so unfair when he can perfectly see how overwhelmed his boyfriend is. They haven’t talked much, but Yushi is not blind. He’s not used to the attention, and he also has a lot of work, so it’s been hard to process what’s happening. Maybe the bad boyfriend is Yushi, after all, for demanding more than what Daeyoung can give him right now, especially when Yushi himself is under the spotlight all the time.)
Like a very immature adult, Yushi starts avoiding Daeyoung. He doesn’t know why he does it, but it’s the only way of coping that comes to his mind. If they cross paths or share a glance, all those ugly feelings of jealousy immediately flash like thunder lightning in Yushi’s head, and his mood goes sour in a second. Suddenly, they are back to square one. Yushi starts acting the same way he did when they had just met and hadn’t warmed up to each other: Yushi spends most of the time practicing at the company, locks himself in his room at the dorms, or barely utters a sentence every time they interact. The only difference is that months ago they were mere coworkers and now they’re dating.
📸…
Things can get worse. Yushi learns that the hard way. His sunbaes warned him—fuck, even the fans of the senior groups at the company did. You can never trust SM Entertainment because they will find a way to monetize their artists’ suffering and milk it for content (that’s definitely an exaggeration, but that’s exactly how he feels).
So, now Yushi is here: getting his makeup done next to his boyfriend, to whom he has barely spoken in days. They are about to record a video for their YouTube channel; it’s supposed to be an interview. The catch? ONLYOU will be interviewing their manager. It’s an evident attempt to ride on the clout. Whatever. On any other circumstance Yushi would have been delighted to be on-camera with Daeyoung, but this time he only wants to get through this quickly.
Daeyoung is trying to strike up a conversation with him, his tone light and chirpy, but by the third time Yushi barely hums in response, he simply gives up. Daeyoung stays quiet, and he even sends him the most unintentional pitiful look in his repertoire. Yushi feels like the worst person in the world—like he just stepped on the tail of a very adorable baby puppy.
Daeyoung remains oddly quiet even when the hairdresser adds the finishing touches to his hair. There is something off about him today, like he’s surrounded by a certain gloominess, but Yushi can’t pinpoint exactly what it is—he doesn’t want to think about it. Out of sight, out of mind, or whatever. When the recording is about to start, Yushi overhears Daeyoung tell Sion that he’s quite nervous; after that, Sion gives him some tips and exercises to help him calm down. Yushi assumes that he’s just worried.
The recording goes rather smoothly. Daeyoung adapts well to the camera, although Sion and Riku help him a lot. Yushi tries his best—he has been an idol for quite some time now, he has mastered the art of putting on a façade and pretend that everything is okay when the red light is on. He has a hard time looking at Daeyoung, only glancing in his direction when he’s sure that Daeyoung isn’t looking, but Yushi thinks he did well.
The questions were absurd: what is his favorite ONLYOU song, his first impression of the members, who is the hardest member to manage, who is his favorite member in the group, his biggest shock when starting the job; they even make him sing, dance and do aegyo too. There’s even a special section where the members quiz him on specific TMIs about them, and another one where Sion, Riku and Yushi have to guess multiple things about Daeyoung in return. Overall, it’s a fun a content, and Yushi even forgets why he was dreading it. There’s no denying that ONLYOU has great chemistry with their manager.
As expected, Daeyoung complies with every single request by the members, and answers every question with a warm heart and honest words. He’s endearing—so endearing that Yushi’s ears burn. It causes something to him. It shakes the world under Yushi’s feet, and he feels guilty. He’s been so stupid. For a moment, Yushi feels undeserving of someone who wears his heart on his sleeve like that.
When the recording comes to an end and everyone is hurrying back to the waiting room, Daeyoung stops him. They’re in the middle of the empty hallway. Daeyoung grabs his wrist and demands his attention, and when Yushi turns around, he swears he stops breathing. Daeyoung’s eyes are sad and almost pleading, and it reminds Yushi of the first time they revealed a piece of their hearts to one another. Back then, they were in the same position, with Daeyoung holding his wrist as Yushi ran away, although the one who had first begged to be seen had been Yushi instead. They had been more scared at that moment, too, definitely unaware of the way the other felt; their mutual feelings don’t seem to be of help this time, though.
“Hyung.” Daeyoung’s voice is unusually tremulous. “Did… did I do something wrong?”
There’s guilt nibbling on every fiber of Yushi’s body. It eats him alive. The consequences of his actions explode right on his face, and Yushi doesn’t know what to do. He wants to hide and run away.
“No. You didn’t do anything,” he admits, and the way his voice remains small is almost embarrassing
“Then why aren’t we okay?” There’s a pause before he adds: “You can tell me if it’s my fault.”
Daeyoung is so selfless. It’s almost stupid because Yushi has been nothing but selfish. He shakes his head in response.
“Hyung is a bit dumb, that’s it.”
📸…
[#ONLY-INTERVIEW] Let’s meet Kim Daeyoung! (feat the ONLYOU interviewers) | CHEMISTRY TEST? yay 100 points ⋆ ｡ ° ✩
Read Comments:
@foryouonly: Yayyy! We can finally learn more about Daeyoungie :)
@urikuri: they’re so funny together ahhhhhh please include Daeyoung in their content more often
@virtual4ngel: Daeyoung is not only handsome and talented but he’s also so polite ahhhhhh he looked so embarrassed when they made him sing but he sounds so good!!!
@tokuneko: 07:56 look at yushi’s expression when daeyoung said that his favorite member was riku ㅠㅠ he’s sooo cute. and ofc daeyoungie noticed right away and changed his answer AND SION AND RIKU’S SMILES!!!!! yushi just wants to be his manager’s favorite
@nekozzz: yushi was so cute in this entire content, he kept sulking like a cat who wants attention from his owner
@yutkul4eva: 19:23 is also a really funny moment ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ yushi says that a TMI of Daeyoung is that he’s good at playing piano and onri look so shocked ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ riku even asks him when he saw daeyoung play the piano and yushi gets so flustered
@bubblenyang: yushi keeps staring at him too, so attentive (definitely crying btw)
@mokpoboy: would you kill me if i say that i kinda ship them LMAO
@rikuchandesu: @mokpoboy nahhhh i feel u.. 4:14 look at yushi’s smile when daeyoung calls him prince during the first impression question, he’s beaming!! and let’s not talk about the way daeyoung describes their first meeting, it sounds like love at first sight ㅋㅋ
@mokpoboy: @rikuchandesu maybe daeyoung fell first but yushi fell harder?
@nasaSOTY: @mokpoboy @rikuchandesu these are real people????
📸…
Things are decidedly not okay. Daeyoung roams around the dorm looking like a kicked puppy. It’s hard not to notice when he wears his feelings like an open book, but Sion and Riku choose not to say anything. Instead, Sion makes his best effort to distract him with his constant rambling, and Riku allows Yushi to cling on him during most part of the day. There is a silent tension clogging the air of their tiny and cramped dorm. For four people sharing a single shelter, it’s almost impossible to escape the tension, as it seeps into every corner of their shared space. There is a quiet understanding about something, though. One thing is clear: Daeyoung’s apparent sadness can be traced back to Yushi and his recent bad mood. Sion and Riku don’t have a clue about what could have possibly happened between them, but they agree that it’s affecting their manager and their team’s maknae in equal but different ways.
Nonetheless, when the days pass and the situation doesn’t naturally improve, Sion and Riku decide to stage an intervention: at night, Sion takes Daeyoung to eat to a restaurant he has been dying to visit, and Riku stays at home with Yushi while they have chicken and beer like when they were freshly debuted.
Being with Riku is always a comfortable experience. There is something about him that makes Yushi feel at ease—warm and safe, like he can leave out his concerns and worries away. Perhaps it’s because they’re both Japanese. Yushi has been friends with Sion for the longest time, and he’s like the shelter that awaits him in a place where everything’s foreign, but that’s not enough to grant him a taste of the home he misses—Riku can provide what he needs with a single dimpled smile. Or, maybe, it’s because Riku is naturally caring and attentive, doting even, and he’s always ready to welcome him with open arms and calm patience. Either way, the conversation flows among sips of bitter drink like a gentle stream in the nostalgic countryside of Japan.
At first, they talk about different things. They reminisce about their life before debut, talk about the anime they’re currently watching, and even discuss some gossip they heard about a group from the same company. However, when there’s less chicken on their plates and less beer in their cans, Riku toes the line around the elephant in the room.
“So,” he starts, “are you going to tell me what happened between you and Daeyoung?”
Yushi quirks an eyebrow. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The way he avoids Riku’s gaze betrays him, though.
“Yuu-chan, do you think I’m blind?” Riku chuckles, but that only makes Yushi get more fidgety. “You’ve been sulking for, what? Weeks? You can’t tell me there’s nothing going on.”
Yushi groans now, defeated. There’s no point in hiding from Riku. He’s observant, and he knows Yushi like the back of his hand. He’ll just have to admit the tangled web of nonsense that has taken over every corner of his head, and pray it makes sense said out loud.
“It’s embarrassing,” he warns in a small voice.
“There’s nothing embarrassing among us, is it?”
Yushi shakes his head and sighs. “I think I’m jealous.”
“Jealous of what, exactly?”
“I don’t know. The attention people are giving to Daeyoung?”
It sounds so stupid out loud. Yushi wants to crawl into a hole and hide there forever. It’s weird to admit it out loud—it shows Yushi that he’s been losing his head over something absolutely absurd. Riku swore he would be supportive to help his two friends sort out their problems, but he can’t help his reaction. He shoots his eyebrows high into his forehead before he can even stop himself.
Well, the cat is out of the bag. There’s not much Yushi can do, he already admitted it.
“Uhm. Okay?”
Riku’s surprise only makes Yushi feel more embarrassed, though. He musses up his hair in frustration and hides in the palms of his own hands, barely peeking through his fingers to look at Riku when he decides to speak again.
“It’s just—I like him so much, and it bothers me, and it makes me feel all insecure and—” A sigh. Yushi finally takes his hands off his face. His voice becomes smaller—shier. “I don’t know what’s going on with me.”
“Wait. Is that why you’ve been ignoring Daeyoungie, then?”
God, it sounds so fucking stupid. Yushi wants to die. He already knew that he’s stupid, he didn’t need this. That’s why he remains quiet. At least staying silent is more dignifying than saying yes, like a loser. Unfortunately, Riku doesn’t seem to like that. There’s a frown on his friend’s face, and for the first time, it’s like he’s judging him.
“Yushi,” he calls. There is no affective nickname this time, and the loss of it makes Yushi shiver. “You’re ridiculous.”
He doesn’t know what to say in return. Yushi maintains eye contact but sinks further on his spot, like a child who knows he did wrong and doesn’t have the heart to lie to save his ass.
“Have you seen Daeyoung? He may not say it, but he’s painfully in love with you. Everyone can see it. Did you read the comments of our last video?” Yushi shakes his head—he couldn’t bring himself to do it knowing that people would be gushing about their manager there. “Well, let me tell you that even the fans noticed. Maybe you can’t see it, but it’s true, so stop pining and moping around.”
“I’m not pining.”
It’d be ridiculous considering they’re already a thing. But Riku doesn’t need to know that.
“You are.” Riku crosses his arms in front of his chest. Yushi pouts in response. “No one will take him from you, but you need to make a move.” Then, Riku’s voice goes softer, as if he hadn’t just scolded him for being ridiculous. “Get a grip, Yuu-chan. You shouldn’t be scared, but you’re kinda hurting him.”
The conversation moves to another topic, but Yushi’s mind stays there. It stays there even when they wash the dishes and go to bed, and the front door opens and Sion and Daeyoung get inside, gleefully whispering like they just shared a very pleasant night together. Throughout it all, Yushi is awake. His thoughts torment him, and they feel like a hundred ants roaming all over his body. He tosses and turns, but the only thing he can think of is Riku’s voice acting like a wake-up call. He could pretend to be dense, but this time he knows Riku is right: not only is he ridiculous, but his actions are affecting Daeyoung—Daeyoung, who loves him dearly and doesn’t even try to mask it, to the point that everyone around them are able to see the endearment in his eyes whenever they do something as simple as cross paths.
Suddenly, Yushi feels like an asshole.
However, this wake-up call doesn’t grant him immediate bravery to solve this predicament. Yushi knows the next step is fixing things up with his boyfriend, but he has to gather enough courage to face him. So, Yushi misses breakfast and stays locked inside his bedroom the entire morning, trying to get out of that state of decay that had taken his body as prisoner. Truth be told, Yushi still feels shy around Daeyoung sometimes, so he isn’t sure how to face him. How can you mend a broken heart when you were the one who stepped on it to begin with? Can Yushi give Daeyoung what he deserves after being so selfish?
There’s a pleasant smell coming into his room through the crack below the door. It’s lunch—homemade, which means that they won’t be eating whatever the ahjumma that visits them sometimes left in their fridge. For some reason, that’s the signal Yushi needs to finally leave his room. He walks quietly to the kitchen, and there he finds him: his broad back and the gentle hum of his voice. Daeyoung is stirring a pot while he hums a song under his breath.
Yushi approaches Daeyoung without making a single sound and circles his arms around his boyfriend’s body. To his surprise, Daeyoung doesn’t flinch and continues cooking. Instead, Yushi is sure he can feel him relax under his touch in pure recognition. For a moment, Yushi doesn’t move. He simply stays there, holding his boyfriend in a back hug with his cheek resting on his shoulder. There’s a pout on Yushi’s lips—there’s still things bothering him and it’s evident, but since Daeyoung can’t see his face, he can’t really tell.
The minutes pass. Yushi remains quiet for what feels like hours. It’s a mix of trying to gather enough courage and simply enjoying their position. It’s been so long since they last were like this. Yushi knows it’s his fault, but, greedily, he still basks on it, like he’s meant to be there against Daeyoung’s shoulder. It’s a calm scene, the only sound in the room is the sizzle of the frying pan.
Yushi’s voice is small when he starts mumbling things against Daeyoung’s broad back. It’s cotton candy—soft edges, sugary even. The quietness of a stray kitten trying to find a home. There’s only one person meant to hear him.
“I’m sorry.”
Daeyoung barely hums, even though there is a grin creeping up on his face that he can’t contain. His free hand searches for Yushi’s, carefully secluded in his waist, and squeezes gently at it.
“I promised not to be mean to you anymore, but I still did. I know I hurt you.” A pause, no longer than a beat of his heart thumping on his ribcage. “I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s okay, hyung.”
This time Yushi doesn’t question Daeyoung’s response. He knows it’s not supposed to be dismissive but a form of implying that he acknowledges that Yushi cares enough to feel bad and torture himself with plaguing thoughts. There’s no need to say more, so they don’t. They fall into yet another intimate silence, all while Yushi is still draped on his back like he has no plans of letting go of the heat that Daeyoung’s entire existence irradiates. It engulfs him in a way that makes Yushi feel safe enough to wonder why he was scared of doing this. It’s shocking how such a simple gesture can fix things between them, like glue to their somewhat shaky bond. Yushi feels a weight leave his body. Suddenly, the only thing he can think about is Daeyoung and the way his heart swells with love whenever they’re in close proximity.
“I like you.”
Daeyoung chuckles. His low laughter bubbles up his throat and his shoulders shake, and even though Yushi can’t see him, he knows his eyes are shiny and crinkling, and the grin that had previously taken place on his face is spreading into a smile, the kind that shows his canines and makes him look so, so adorable.
“All of a sudden?”
Daeyoung’s voice is warm and light, clearly entertained by Yushi’s unexpectedness. He must think his confession comes out of nowhere, completely unaware of the way Yushi has been agonizing lately. He might even think that Yushi is weird. It makes him want to sink his face further into his shoulder blades and hide there forever.
But Yushi doesn’t blame him. (Not anymore, maybe he never did). Daeyoung has been running everywhere, and all the attention is overwhelming too. Daeyoung is used to being behind the scenes; it’s hard to be comfortable when thrown right into the spotlight. He was busy processing the sudden wave of attention that was thrown into him, so he didn’t really have time to notice the subtle signs of what’s hidden in the depths of Yushi’s mind. Not until it was too late, at least. Daeyoung is attentive most of the time—it’s part of his caring nature—but sometimes he’s a tad oblivious to certain things—and that’s part of his charm.
Yushi doesn’t say anything. He simply nods his head in response, as if that could be enough to convey his feelings.
“I like you too, hyung.”
The sincerity in Daeyoung’s voice makes Yushi smile. Greedy. He just wants to be loved. He wants to make sure that Daeyoung is all his, even if he doesn’t have a reason to think otherwise. A question comes out of his mouth before he can even stop himself. Maybe this is why Riku called him ridiculous.
“You’re mine, right?”
“All yours.”
He can hear the smile in Daeyoung’s voice, all warm, when he replies. Yushi feels victorious. He knows he’s being unreasonable for feeling like this—Riku said that, anyway. It’s not that he’s possessive. Yushi thinks he isn’t. Perhaps he just needs reassurance to calm his poor nervous heart. But then Daeyoung is turning the stove off and placing a lid over the frying pan and the pot just so he can turn around and finally take a look at Yushi.
It’s been so long since they stared at each other like this: close, with love oozing from their every movement. That soft smile is still carefully placed on Daeyoung’s face, and Yushi wonders if maybe it’s tattooed on his expression because whenever Yushi looks at him, it’s always there. It makes Yushi’s guts churn in a way that’s almost embarrassing—the feeling gets worse when Daeyoung cups his face and forces him to look at him. His hands are so big, it’s almost dizzying. Yushi doesn’t usually take notice of their height difference, but when Daeyoung grabs his face like this and forces him to look up, it becomes stupidly evident.
“Why? Are you afraid someone would take me from you?”
It’s light teasing—daring and flirty even, a sign that Daeyoung has spent too much time with Sion, maybe. They’re always joking like this, though: silly, and like they want to force the most foolish smile on the other’s expression. They both like that. A joint pile of absurdity.
This time, however, the silly joke wounds Yushi’s poor heart and scratches right into his insecurities. He should be laughing with Daeyoung—maybe punch his arm with more force than necessary—but instead he’s looking down with a nervous expression. There’s no way he can admit that Daeyoung is right. If his boyfriend pitched the idea as a joke, it’s because it’s absurd. Yushi can’t simply say that, yes, he’s been afraid of someone stealing Daeyoung from his side.
His silence speaks louder than words, and Daeyoung’s smile is quick to morph into a worried expression. All intentions to joke around are quickly forgotten.
“Wait, is that right, hyung?”
Yushi chews on his lip. Looking at Daeyoung is becoming physically impossible, especially when he keeps scanning his face like he’s looking for something hidden behind the black of Yushi’s pupils—there’s concern painted all over his features.
So, Yushi does what he knows best. He avoids giving a proper answer and simply throws his arms around Daeyoung’s neck. Maybe he can fluster him. Then, he gets closer to him until their bodies are stuck together. This way he can hide himself and whisper right into his boyfriend’s ear. His voice sends a thrill down Daeyoung’s spine—Yushi can see the way he shivers and his throat bobs as he gulps. It’s delightful.
“I don’t like anyone else looking at you the way I do.”
“I only care about hyung, though.”
“Still.”
“Are you jealous?”
Yushi hides on Daeyoung’s long neck. He just wants to be close to him. Daeyoung can’t see him like this, so embarrassed.
“No…”
“Then, why…? Don’t tell me it’s because your fans keep looking at me.”
He’s blunt about it. For once, Daeyoung doesn’t sugarcoat his words. He goes straight to the point, and it makes Yushi contain the urge to groan out loud because he’s right. But Daeyoung can’t know that. Yushi will never admit it to his face, so he won’t give him an answer. Instead, Yushi doesn’t move—doesn’t say anything either, but it’s okay. It’s not necessary.
Daeyoung laughs lowly once again. It tips Yushi to the edge, and that simple gesture is enough to drive him a bit insane. Yushi doesn’t like being laughed at, he likes preserving a bit of control, even if he doesn’t show it. So, Yushi cheats his way through this nonexistent battle. He retrieves his head from where it had been hidden and looks at Daeyoung with a subtle scowl: furrowed eyebrows, narrowed eyes, pouty lips. They stare at each other for a second; it’s a battle of eye contact that Yushi wins (or loses?) when he surges forward to capture Daeyoung’s lips on his own. Maybe this way Daeyoung will finally shut up. It’s a form of claiming him and remind Daeyoung that even with all eyes on him, he’s still Yushi’s.
Their lips quickly find a comfortable rhythm that can convey how much they want each other, especially after these few weeks. As they kiss, Yushi presses Daeyoung’s body against the counter. It pokes Daeyoung’s hips in a way that should be uncomfortable, but Yushi is sure that that his grunts are a result of the way Yushi cages him as he licks his lower lip instead.
The kiss is wet and fervent. Their tongues meet and play in a way that leaves Daeyoung flushed and panting, his mouth glistening with spit. This sight makes Yushi feel oddly proud: swollen red lips, pink cheeks, and gaze so glassy and hazy that he almost looks dumb. For a moment, Yushi wonders if all those strangers would talk about Daeyoung if they saw him like this.
“I just—” Yushi mumbles against his jaw, not even taking a moment to separate himself from Daeyoung. “Want everyone to know you’re taken.”
“D’you want me to act like your boyfriend tomorrow?”
Daeyoung flips their position around in an attempt to corner Yushi under him, but Yushi takes advantage of the change and hops to sit on top of the kitchen counter. He pulls Daeyoung closer and traps him between his open legs. That way he won’t be able to escape—not that Yushi would let him. He wants him so bad, especially when he can feel the slightly cold touch of Daeyoung’s fingertips under his clothes, gracefully tracing his abs.
“You know we can’t.”
The mere idea makes Yushi delirious, though. He just wants to hold Daeyoung’s hand in the airport and cuddle with him in front of the rest of the staff, but their relationship is still a bit of a secret. They can’t take risks; plus, Yushi really wants to be good this time. If it were for him, he would have told his fans that Daeyoung is none other than his boyfriend the moment Daeyoung kissed him for the first time. This time, however, he wants to follow the rules.
“Wanted to hold your hand.” Daeyoung pouts. Their foreheads are gently pressed to each other while they catch their breath. Their exhalations mingle with one another, and the proximity forces them to drink each other’s sighs. Yushi doesn’t resist the urge to kiss the pout away.
“Hm, me too.”
Their lips find each other one more time. They’re less desperate, taking their time to savor each other the way they have done a hundred times before. A familiar taste. There’s still desire seeping through the way their mouths get interlocked. Yushi traps Daeyoung’s lower lip between his teeth and tugs. The gesture makes Daeyoung hiss, and Yushi feels oddly proud.
“Maybe you could mark me…”
Daeyoung’s voice is so low that for a moment Yushi thinks he’s just hallucinating the sound of his voice. But he heard him quite clearly. There’s no way sweet, gentle Daeyoung just made such lewd proposition. It proves that he wants to show off Yushi, too. He can feel himself rolling his eyes in ecstasy at the idea. He’s so stupidly aroused.
Yushi falls into temptation. It’s so easy that he even wonders where he left his self-restraint. His lips descend from his boyfriend’s jaw to his long neck. That’s probably Yushi’s favorite part of Daeyoung’s body. His neck is so pretty. It makes Daeyoung look infuriatingly hot. Yushi has fantasized about leaving a litter of marks right over his pulse before—he has daydreamed about it an embarrassing amount of times. And now Daeyoung is proposing that very same idea like it’s nothing. Yushi knows he will look pretty with his kisses tattooed there—he has seen that image behind his closed lids before.
“You can’t just say that.”
“But they’ll know I have a boyfriend that way…” Daeyoung’s voice morphs into a sigh at the end. His neck is so sensitive, and Yushi loves it. He feels like a mischievous cat ready to claw at his prey. “The stylist noonas would kill us if I leave a mark on you, but if it’s on me, then it’s not important.”
Yushi’s brain shortcuts. He must have gone crazy because Daeyoung is actually making a lot of sense. He’s right. Daeyoung may be his manager, but among the two of them, the only one who needs to preserve his pristine idol image is Yushi.
His body moves on its own. Mindless, Yushi starts sucking on his skin. Daeyoung’s moans reach his ear with a certain delay, but that only serves as encouragement to keep his mouth latched on him. Maybe Daeyoung shouldn’t give in on everything Yushi wants or encourage him when he’s not making sense, but that’s exactly what he’s doing with his comments and his low sighs and subtle groans.
“Take this off,” Yushi mumbles against his boyfriend’s throat.
His hands hurry to pull the hem of Daeyoung’s t-shirt. The movement forces them to drift apart, but it doesn’t matter. Yushi wants more. The white t-shirt lays abandoned somewhere on the kitchen counter in a way that mustn’t be sanitary, and Yushi’s hands rush to feel as much exposed skin as they can—from the expanse of his chest to his flat abdomen. He wants all of Daeyoung because he’s greedy and a bit of a menace, too. When his mind is set on something, there’s no way to stop Tokuno Yushi.
He’s quick to grab Daeyoung’s thin waist and pull him much closer, so they can reconnect their lips into yet another messy kiss. Yushi can feel his boyfriend’s hands under his clothes, tempted to undress him too. It sends a thrill that travels up his entire body. Daeyoung is touching everywhere, and this is definitely too much, but Yushi wants more and—
“Oh my god.”
There’s a startled voice coming from somewhere in the distance, a yelp—definitely Daeyoung’s—and then again, in realization, “Oh my god!”
“What the fuck, Riku!”
Yushi pushes Daeyoung away at the speed of light and cranes his neck in Riku’s direction. His teammate is standing in the doorway, observing them with a shocked expression. His round kittenish eyes have never been more open before. Riku is frozen. They look at each other like deer caught in headlights, all while Daeyoung grips his forgotten t-shirt close to his chest in a poor attempt to cover himself, like a well-modest lady.
“In the kitchen? This is a common area!” Riku tries to cover his eyes, presumably more embarrassed than them. His voice is laced with panic, but Yushi barely notices because he might as well be more panicked than Riku right now. “I thought you had more shame. Especially you, Daeyoung!”
That makes Daeyoung wince. From his place, Yushi can see the deep shade of red painting his ear. The poor boy looks like he desperately wants to hide but he can’t find a good spot.
Yushi can barely reply. There’s no way to deny what Riku just saw, especially when they look the way they do right now. It’s not hard to connect the dots: Daeyoung is shirtless, their hair is disheveled, their lips are red and swollen and there are fresh hickeys blossoming at the base of Daeyoung’s neck. Yushi might look more composed than their manager, but he’s still sitting on top of the kitchen counter with an innocent-looking expression, and it’s evident this entire painting was all his doing.
“Hm? What’s going on? Why are we reunited?” Sion’s head peeks through the door. He’s so damn nosy. Sion shoots a glance inside and— “Oh.”
“Hyung, they were making out. In our kitchen!” Riku points at them accusatorily. He’s scandalized, but the action only makes him look like a little kid telling on his brother’s behavior.
Daeyoung doesn’t know where to look. Yushi has half the mind to feel bad for him because he looks mortified. Not that Yushi doesn’t feel the same way.
“What? But—” Sion pauses. He takes exactly one second to make the gears in his head start running. His eyes widen. “Wait, you two—since when?”
Daeyoung stares at the floor and his socked feet. Yushi pretends to be distracted, suddenly interested in the calendar in the wall.
“I don’t know, hyung, I just found out, too!” Riku replies, but suddenly he gasps and opens his mouth, and then he’s turning around to stare directly at the two caught lovebirds. “Since your scandal, isn’t it?”
“What scandal?” Yushi mumbles. Why does everyone insist on mentioning a quasi-scandal that didn’t happen?
“Wait, Riku, how do you know?”
Riku lifts a shaky finger and points at them again, this time looking at Sion like he just cleared a life-long mystery. “They weren’t subtle. It all makes sense now.”
“Eh?” Yushi quirks an eyebrow.
“And you hid it from us?” Now, Sion looks particularly wounded. “All this ti—Daeng, can you just put on your shirt?”
Daeyoung whimpers in a way that’s entirely pitiful, like a scolded puppy. He’s practically trembling when he takes the piece of fabric away from his chest. It’s only for a second, as he tries to make out the neck and arm holes of the t-shirt, but Yushi swears he hasn’t seen him that red before.
“Sorry, hyung.”
At the same time, “hyung, don’t be mean!”
Sion’s eyebrows rise high on his forehead. He scoffs and throws a quick glance at Riku, equally baffled.
“Yeah, we’ll have to talk about this, eventually.” Sion makes a vague hand gesture as he turns around to leave the kitchen. Riku follows him.
“I really wanted to eat something.”
Once they’re gone, Yushi can’t help the giggle that escapes from his lips. He’s quick to bring a hand to his mouth because he knows Daeyoung is still embarrassed, but he can’t stop. His eyes are almost closed, his teeth are on full display behind his fingers, and his cheeks are doing that thing where it looks like he has cat whiskers. Just like that, his giggles morph into full laughter. It’s so silly. Yushi feels so giddy, even when Daeyoung pouts at him. When was the last time he felt like this?
📸…
ICN Airport – ONLYOU heads to Thailand | Dispatch
Read Comments:
@foryouonly: Safe flight! ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Why are they so cute today?
@maedaking: they look so idk happy? silly? the world is healing
@urikuri: riku looking mildly embarrassed, sion having ijbolitis, yushi clinging to daeyoung and daeyoung FAILING at keeping a straight face ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ what’s going on? let me innnnnnn i wanna be part of the joke too ㅠㅠ
@virtual4ngel: daeyoung is so cute ㅠㅠ what’s with the scarf tho? it’s so funny ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
@tokuneko: yushi my clingy kitty ㅠㅠ
@babycalf: why is daeyoung wearing a scarf ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ in the middle of spring ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ it’s not even cold
@mokpoboy: wait isn’t that yushi’s scarf? i’m pretty sure he wore one that looked like that during some of his schedules back in december
@bubblenyang: i’m pretty sure the details in yushi’s scarf were light blue (i know because I bought the same one ㅎㅎ) you can see in some fantaken pics that daeyoung’s scarf has grey details instead. maybe it’s a couple item?
@rikuchandesu: wait……… 00:38 look at the way yushi tries to fix it for him,, they’re so cute
@mokpoboy: @rikuchandesu omg 00:42 if he wanted to fix it why did he do such a bad job 😭 he did WORSE
@rikuchandesu: @mokpoboy wait……… i just checked 00:42 and……… is that a hickey……? if you watch closely you can see something underneath the scarf
@siooooooonie: 00:42 did i just see a hickey on daeyoung’s neck? is he dating someone? this is the WORST day of my life
@yourocean: turns out that the cute manager is taken. fun’s over, guys :(
📸…
If someone were to ask Yushi, he wouldn’t say he’s a jealous person. Instead, he would say that he’s greedy to an extreme that’s almost concerning. His greed combined with his poor decision-making skills have taken him to places that he wouldn’t go with a more rational mind. The fact that he’s so stubborn and doesn’t rest once his mind is set on something only makes things worse. However, he would also attest that he has discovered a few things about himself lately. For example, when the right buttons are pushed, there’s a side of him that he didn’t know existed that comes afloat. And it’s embarrassing. Very. Yushi doesn’t like it because he loses his mind, and he doesn’t feel like himself.
But, incredibly enough, in this case Yushi ended up victorious anyway—it’s hard to feel ashamed of his actions when he ends up having his way at the end of the day.