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Wesley leaned over and picked up his baby brother. He needed only a brief look at those warm hazel eyes to confirm the tyke's parentage.
"You didn't tell him," Wes commented. It wasn't an accusation but a sad statement of fact.
Beverly shook her head. "No... he never wanted children, and things weren't good between us by the time I found out."
Wesley ran a finger down Jack's soft cheek. The baby babbled and happily clutched the digit in his tiny fist. Wes chuckled.
"I'm not sure that's true. He stepped in as a father to me many times."
Beverly sighed. "We talked about it, but he was adamant that he didn't think he'd be nurturing enough, patient enough...His own father was very cold. He seemed to simply be afraid to even try."
Wesley raised an eyebrow. "And don't think he could have overcome it?"
Beverly ran a hand through her hair. "I always thought he'd make a good father, but by the time I actually got pregnant..." She sighed as she paced a bit, trying to explain. "After we lost Data, he withdrew. once the Romulan evacuation started, he became obsessed."
Wesley could see her blue eyes were misty. Despite the difficulties in their relationship of which he knew few details, he knew she'd loved Jean-Luc Picard deeply.
"I think he always felt the need to be a hero, not for glory,.... but because he was deeply insecure, felt the need to prove himself. Maybe he was trying to make up for Locutus, or Data's death, or your father's death..."
She held up her hands in supplication. "I tried for years to get to the bottom of it, and I know Deanna did too, but it was as if there was a guilt nothing could assuage."
She picked up a cup of tea that must have been cold and took a long sip. "He'd begun taking more and more risks. He almost died three times in the months before I left."
Her eyes were pleading as she looked at Jack and then Wesley. "It wasn't safe." Something in those words sent a chill through Wesley. It was more than a mother's fear and more of a premonition.
"He wasn't going to leave Starfleet, and I couldn't stay. I tried to find a way to tell him but....in the end, I knew we had to leave. Maybe one day, things will be different, but for now...."
She walked to his side and peered down at Jack, staring delightedly at his older brother. "I hope you can understand," she said to Wes, and then looking down at the infant again, she added, "I hope one day he can understand, and maybe he can get to know his father. Maybe things will be different.”
"I love you, Mom, and I know you'll do everything you can to be the best mom you can be for Jack," Wesley told her.
Jack began to fuss, and Beverly took him, moving him to the couch to nurse him. "Can you sit? Tell me what you've been up to?" she invited.
He nodded and sat down opposite her. Beverly forced herself to set aside any thoughts of Jean-Luc and her current struggles as she strove to be fully present with Wesley. She knew this time was precious, and she wouldn’t let anything mar it.
For the next few hours, Wesley regaled her with stories of his Traveler adventures, carefully omitting any stories that involved anyone she knew. He'd just put the timeline back in order, and he didn't want to cause any new damage.
He loved seeing her eyes light up and hearing her laughter as he shared discoveries and missteps. He’d forgotten how wonderfully supportive she was, how she reserved judgment and always assumed the best of intentions. As an adult, he realized how crucial her love and support had been to his willingness to take on the challenge of being a Traveler.
Cuddling his brother to his chest as he prepared to leave, Wesley saw a series of images rush past. It was vague and blurry, the way it always was with people he'd loved, but one thing was clear: There would be a threat that would come against Jack, and his mother couldn't save him alone.
He laid Jack in his crib and turned back to his mom, pulling her into a hug once more. "Mom, you're right. he needs to be protected."
Pulling back just slightly, she asked, "Did you see something?"
He shrugged. "Just a nebulous idea of danger." He thought, trying to piece together what he'd seen. "It's not immediate, but when it comes, you won't be able to fight it on your own."
Beverly pursed her lips. "Wesley... "
"Mom, I'm not criticizing you, I'm not. But when the time comes, promise me you'll call him."
She wanted to argue, to insist they were safer alone, but something in his tone told her how serious he was. "Alright, when... IF it comes down to it, I'll call him."
Wesley smiled. "I love you so much, Mom," he said as he embraced her.
“When….will I see you again?” she whispered, no longer trusting her voice as she tried to memorize the feel of him in her arms, to commit every element of his older self to memory.
He gave a sad smile as he shrugged. “I don’t know,” he whispered back. “But I’ll do what I can to watch over you,” he promised.
“And Jean-Luc?” she asked.
He nodded. “If you want.”
“I do.”
Wesley realized in that moment that he couldn’t judge her decision. The strain of being alone was evident, and he knew she still loved Captain Picard, must miss him and her friends desperately. She was a mother sacrificing for her child.
“Oh, I just love you so much, Wesley.” She took a deep breath. “ I’m so proud of who you are and what you do. Always remember that,” she said. She saw his smile blossom as he faded away.
Beverly stared at the spot where he'd been for several minutes before forcing herself to go shower. Once she stepped into the warm spray of water, the tears began to fall, quickly becoming wracking sobs. She slid to the floor and let all the emotions she normally kept bottled up pour out of her.
She wept for Wesley, for her lover, for the relationship Jack and Jean-Luc would never have, and she wept in loneliness for herself, on the edge of Federation space with only the backing of the Mariposa Medical aid group. She had no real friends, no one who truly understood.
Being a young widow had been isolating, but at least she'd had Starfleet. Now, she and Jack were on their own. Beverly still felt this was where they needed to be and rarely allowed herself to wonder what might have been but Wesley's visit had reminded her of the whole world she'd left behind.
Taking a deep breath, she pushed her hair back, forced herself to stand, and shut off the water. Her legs felt as if they were made of lead but she persevered until she dried off, pulled on her pajamas, and laid down in bed.
Tomorrow was a new day. She had a son to raise and people to help. She packed the regret and self-pity away as she drifted off.