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“Jaemin,” Jisung’s voice is soft, weak. His voice echoes off the empty cave walls they’re in.
Jaemin started a fire with the few dried sticks and leaves he could find. It’s a small fire, but it’s enough to warm Jisung’s shivering body, just a little, and that’s all Jaemin cares about. The cold air that pricks his bare arms doesn’t bother him, not more than the thought of Jisung freezing to death out here. He’s not letting Jisung die like that, he refuses. Jisung tried to refuse Jaemin’s jacket, knowing Jaemin’s used to the sun and sandy beaches being from district 4, you’re meant to be warm, warm golden skin, warm smile, warm heart Jisung had said with a glowing smile. He told Jisung he actually dislikes being warm, if it meant Jisung can take the fabric without feeling guilty.
“We’re going to die? Aren’t we?”
Jaemin’s skin prickles again, but not from the cold. The thought of him dying doesn’t bother him one bit. He accepted his fate the moment his name was called. He hugged his mother goodbye before he left, kissed her cheek and gave her all the money he had saved to hopefully one day give them a better life. It’s enough to keep her going for a while when he’s gone, but not enough to last forever. He already made Jeno promise to take care of her while he’s gone and it’s the only reason he left without a fight when he agreed.
No, his stomach feels sick at the thought of Jisung dying. He feels his whole world tilt at the thought alone. A world without Jisung sounds horrible and bitter. Why would the world want to take something so precious away? From the very beginning, when Jaemin first met the other tributes, the moment Jaemin had set his eyes on Jisung he felt his breath stutter. So intelligent, yet fragile. Jisung paid close attention to all the other tributes and even closer attention to the trainings. He didn’t seem like much of a fighter and when he had to make a choice on what weapon to train with, he seemed reluctant before settling on a small dagger. He barely used it, but his eyes were always watching. Jaemin would have given anything to get a glimpse inside his head.
And then Jisung’s eyes had landed on Jaemin. Jaemin knew right then and there that he was going to do everything in his power to keep him alive. When one of the careers had knocked into him purposely, snapping his teeth in Jisung’s face like a threat of what’s to come, Jaemin got in between them. He snapped his teeth right back, eyes ablaze and with his own threat in them.
Try it with him again and you’re dead.
Jaemin got a few bruises from the peacekeeper who had to separate them, but Jaemin doesn’t regret anything. He liked the way Jisung eyed him curiously with his head tilted, liked that Jisung’s eyes were on only him the rest of the day.
The day the games started, Jisung didn’t seem surprised when Jaemin immediately glued himself to his side, keeping the two of them safe while they exited the blood bath. When one of the tributes slammed into Jisung, knife raised high in the air and ready to bury itself in his chest, Jaemin had lunged at the attacker with a growl, handing getting sliced stopping it from getting even close to the hair on top of Jisung’s head.
Later, when they were safe enough by a river bank, Jisung using what little they had to bandage Jaemin’s wound he simply asked “Why?”
Jaemin wasn’t sure how to answer that. Because you need me? Didn’t sound right. Because I need you. Better, but Jisung wouldn’t accept that answer. They never spoke until now and Jaemin doesn’t think he could explain the bone deep urge he has to protect Jisung. Instead he settles on, “We need each other.”
Jisung accepted that answer and Jaemin’s chest bloomed when he saw the smile he was biting back.
It was Jisung who found the cave while Jaemin went to get some fish. Hidden away by thick bushes and vines. Jaemin was worried when he saw the bones, wondered if a bigger animal had made this place it’s home, but Jisung reassured him and pointed to the rather large bones in the corner. Whatever once lived here is dead and they needn't worry.
Jaemin had listened to his soft voice as Jisung talked about his family and life outside of…. this place, while Jaemin cooked their fish. He liked Jisung’s voice and the face he made when he talked about his parents. When Jisung started to cry, Jaemin pulled him to his chest and hugged him, swore to protect him.
Back to the present, Jisung’s words, we’re going to die, aren’t we. He sounds so sure of himself. He’s not actually asking a question. He’s stating a fact, knows it to be true. Maybe he thinks Jaemin could win, but he must sense Jaemin isn’t walking out of this place without Jisung’s hand in his so he settles on the ugly truth, Jisung’s going to die and either Jaemin’s going to die after or he’s going to die protecting Jisung. The honest truth.
“I won’t let you die,” Jaemin mutters softly, determined. He strokes Jisung’s hair that even after days of being out here, it’s still soft under Jaemin’s finger tips. “I’ll make sure you live—“
“No.” Jisung’s large hand encircles Jaemin’s wrist. He sits up, eyes already tearful. Jaemin wants to wipe them away and tell Jisung he doesn’t have to cry, doesn’t have to worry because he’ll do anything to keep him safe, but Jisung’s grip only tightens like he can read his thoughts. “You saying that means you already plan on dying. For me.” Jisung’s teeth dig nastily into his bottom lip. It looks painful.
“Hey,” Jaemin shakes Jisung’s grip off him and cups his cheeks, calms him enough to release his lip. Jaemin rubs it with his thumb, gently. “It’s ok.”
“It’s not. We both know it isn't.” A pause, the only sound being their hearts beats, in sync, and the crackling fire. It’s getting dark, Jaemin should really put it out now, but he can’t seem to move his eyes away from Jisung. “Hyung,” Jisung’s voice cracks.
Jaemin exhales, eyes on the only thing that matters to him right now. “Yeah?”
“Please don’t die. Please don’t leave me.”
Jisung looks close to sobbing again so Jaemin pulls him to his chest, rests his chin onto his head and presses Jisung into the crook of his neck.
Jaemin wants to give Jisung everything, but he knows he can’t give him this no matter how much he wants to. Jisung’s shoulders shake underneath his hands and Jaemin knows, in this moment he can and will promise Jisung anything. If it’ll calm his cries, allow Jaemin to see that smile he’s fallen in love with. Outside of this cave, their bubble, he won’t be able to keep his promise, he’ll die making sure Jisung walks out of this alive and back to his family, but here he can lift Jisung’s chin, look him in the eye and smile, “Ok.”