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Sharn isn’t sure what possesses her to go to Jarred’s home and knock on his front door. He’s never shown a modicum of interest in her company, and she has no real reason to be here. It is guilt, plain and simple that leads her here.
She knows Barda would say she owes Jarred nothing - it was his duty to sacrifice all for the crown, to fight and struggle against the Shadow Lord with everything he has. But Sharn knows that just because it was his duty doesn’t mean she does not owe a debt. The kings and queens of Deltora have gone for too long without acknowledging their debts.
He opens the door, his eyes widening in surprise at seeing her.
“Your Higness, to what do I owe the pleasure” he says as he curtsies.
“There’s no need to stand on formalities, I just hope I am not intruding on your home.”
Calling Jarred’s house a home is a stretch - from her vantage point, she can see extremely simple wooden furniture with no fripperies, and a decided lack of any sort of comfort, as if this was no more than another Resistance Base he planned to retreat or advance from. It makes her extremely sad.
“You are the Queen, how can you be intruding?” There’s a hint of mockery in his voice.
“Not here. Not with you,” she says, her voice quivering.
“But…” he starts, only to be cut off when Sharn raises a hand out towards him.
“I don’t care if you’re fine with it. I am not. You should insist on the formalities with Leaf, but there’s too much between us for you to call me Your Majesty.”
Jarred pauses for a moment, then says, “Come in Sharn”
He closes the door behind her as she comes in. They sit on wooden chairs surrounding a green table and he offers her chamomile tea. He takes a sip before speaking.
“I assume you’re here about my resignation as Lief’s advisor and plans to formally disband the Resistance?”
“I’m here for several things, but we can start there if you’d like.”
“Let Lief know I’m not changing my mind on this.”
Sharn puts down her cup.
“I’m not here on Lief’s behalf to change your mind, I’m here on my behalf to understand your reasons why.”
Jarred crosses his arms and leans back in his seat.
“Its pretty simple isn’t it? The shadowlord is gone, the kingdom’s military and government have been sufficiently rebuilt, there’s no need for the resistance to resist anything anymore. And without the resistance, I’m no one important.”
Sharn snorts at that, leaning over the table as she says, “No one important? Lief may be Deltora’s hero, but if you ask anyone who their hero is, there’s a good chance they’d say it was you. You were there after all, when nobody else was. Everybody has a story about a brother saved from the grey guards or a family saved from starvation. I might agree that the Resistance’s role is finished, but I don’t think you should resign. You're the one the people have faith in and your presence in Lief’s council of advisors means something.”
“I’m worried”, Jarred admits softly, “that my counsel will be of limited value. What use is a hard man in soft times?”
“I’d say a good and honorable man has a place at any time.”
“I’m sure Lief and Jasmine would raise strong objections to that description of me” he says.
“They respect you, Jarred. More than you think. And Jasmine needs her father.”
Jarred grimaces at that and says, “Unfortunately for her, she doesn’t really have one.”
“Jarred -”
He raises his hand to silence her righteous indignation and says, “I abandoned her when she was a child, I took her from a safe environment to a more dangerous one, I forgot about her … if you didn’t know me and saw all of those facts together, would you not consider me a piece of shit who doesn’t deserve to be called a father?”
“But its not your fault -”
“Its the Shadowlord’s I know.” the bitterness in his voice is clear,”But Sharn this isn’t about fault. There are certain things a father must do and I have done none of them”
Sharn can sort of understand him, after all isn’t that why she was here in the first place? What happened to Anna and Jarred wasn’t her fault exactly, but it was still a debt. Jarred had saved her family at great expense to his own, and that fact would always sit between them. So she says, “Don’t you think that should be for Jasmine to decide?”
“Does she look like she wants anything to do with me?”
“She was actually the most upset about your resignation.”
“And the Shadowlands are a warm and cozy place.”
“I think she mostly misses having you to vent her frustrations on”
“That sounds more like her”
“Jarred I know you think the best thing for you to do is to retreat into obscurity and wither away into a living ghost now that your mission is complete, but I promise you, you have so much to give if you stay.”
A moment passes between them. Two moments. The memories build in the quiet, the grief and the terror and the sacrifices that have defined their relationship until now. Then Jarred says, “I don’t know if I believe that really. But I have to try, even if I don’t see what there is for me on the other side.”
“So does that mean you’re retracting your resignation?”
“Correct your Majesty.”
She hopes someday Jarred won’t be lost without his mission that he will live to see Jasmine and Lief marry as they seem to be moving towards, unaware of it themselves, and make their families one. She hopes he will be there as the father of the bride. But for now, she’ll take this.