Chapter Text
Yin had made his decision. It was time to stop, at least for a while. The thought had been gnawing at him for months—ever since he realized just how much he was losing himself in a dream that could never be his. He had already discussed it with Aun in private, in the quiet spaces where no one could interrupt them. The decision was made, but it didn’t make the weight any lighter.
Aun's voice brought him back to the present, steady but filled with something Yin couldn’t quite place. "Is that what you want?"
Yin nodded. His throat tightened, but he forced a smile, determined to keep it together.
"Are you sure?" Aun asked again, his gaze searching Yin's face for some kind of hesitation, some sign that this wasn’t really what Yin wanted.
Yin nodded again, his resolve firm, even though it felt like a part of him was being torn away.
"You won’t regret it?" Aun’s voice softened, like he was holding his breath, waiting for Yin to say something different.
Yin forced another smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes, but he spoke confidently, trying to convince both himself and Aun. "For now, I’m not."
Aun’s expression darkened, a cloud of worry hanging in his eyes. "Yin, this is the moment when you're really starting to get noticed. You're getting offers, opportunities—more than I’ve ever seen before. I thought you’d reconsider, especially after the last time we spoke about this. And you forbid me from telling Go or War... I really hoped you would change your mind."
Yin felt the familiar ache in his chest. Every word Aun spoke made it harder to keep his mask in place. He wanted to scream, to tell Aun everything—to let him know the truth. That it wasn’t about the career, or the offers. It was about him. And War. And the love that had twisted everything inside of him.
But he couldn’t.
"P'," Yin interrupted gently, his voice low and steady. "I told you because you’re the one who’s been with me since the beginning. You’ve always been here for me. I’ll be there when you need me, too."
Yin's smile was small, but it held an undercurrent of pain. He stood and pulled Aun into a hug, holding him tightly, the weight of their history and the guilt of his secret pressing down on him. He had to hold it in. For Aun. For everyone.
"Please don’t cry," Yin whispered, his voice rough. "You’ll be okay. You’ve always had plans for yourself, P'. It’s just... you couldn’t do it because of me. Because of us."
Aun’s shoulders trembled, and Yin could feel the hot tears soaking into his shirt.
"You know it wasn’t true," Aun muttered, his voice strained. "You’re my kid. I love you. I could never let you go astray in this business. You know how dirty and harsh it is. You know how much I want to protect you from it."
"Yeah, yeah," Yin chuckled softly, his heart breaking as he patted Aun’s back. "I know, P'. Thank you so much for always being here for me. But now, I just want you to take some time for yourself. Do something for you, for once."
Aun sniffed, wiping his face as he pulled away, trying to compose himself. He grabbed his phone, his fingers moving mechanically as he checked the schedule, but his eyes were still red-rimmed.
"So, for your last schedule... it’s Japan, right?" Aun asked, his voice weak but trying to sound upbeat.
Yin nodded, forcing himself to smile. "Yes, Japan."
Aun’s eyes lit up, though it was a brief spark in the midst of everything else. He laughed, his arms wrapping around Yin in another hug. "Seriously? Japan?"
Yin let out a soft, almost unnoticeable sigh, hugging him back, even though it felt like his heart was breaking with each passing second.
"Yes, Japan."
"Oh, P'," Yin whispered, his voice trembling. "Thank you. Thank you so much."
Aun’s tears were back, but he didn’t try to hide them this time. "Yes, my last gift to you... before you go." His voice cracked. "I just... I just wish you didn’t have to leave like this."
Yin closed his eyes, the truth burning inside him, but he couldn’t say anything. He couldn’t let Aun know that this was a goodbye—one that he had to make, no matter how much it shattered him.
"Oh, P'," Yin whispered again, his own voice thick with emotion. "Thank you so much. I love you. But please... please don’t cry."
Aun pulled away, his face crumpling as the tears fell freely. Yin reached out, gently cupping his manager’s face, his own heart breaking with the burden of the lies he was keeping.
"I love you, too," Yin said quietly, forcing the words out as if they were the last thing he could give before he walked away from it all.
As he stepped back, Yin knew there was no going back now. This decision—this silence—would be his sacrifice, the one that would keep everyone safe from the truth he would carry alone. He couldn’t have War. He couldn’t keep the love that burned him alive. And Aun would never know why.