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Johnny was taking a MASSIVE nap in bed (it was even bigger than the famous low taper fade meme!), when he heard a big noise. Some would say it was a bang. The Big Bang? Did the world start over again?
Johnny hates when that happens because he loses all of his exp, and he always has the most exp because he's a real gamer. Sorry, it should be gaymer, because he's a little gay, but not really, because he wears his socks like the good boy he is. Also, it's only for his pookie wookie bear, Kenshi. He loves Kenshi (in a no-homo way, of course).
Anyway, when he heard the noise he woke up. He ran put on his Jaws pants. One: because he loves Jaws (both the movie, the musical AND the song by Lemon Demon.) And two: Johnny just loves sharks. So much so that he has a whole floor of great whites. The floor isn't made of sharks - that would be mean, but it's like an aquarium. Like Vector from the hit movie Despicable Me! Oh, and also, they're the only pants he has. Because all his other pants are at Kenshi's house. He's always at Kenshi's house. They're a little fruity, but only a little. It's still straight when they wear socks.
After putting on his pants, he launched himself out of bed to hear the source of the noise. (The boom, the big ol' noise, the ka boom, the explosion, the loud sound, the eruption). Only to find out that it was his cellphone ringing! It was the Weezer lick! Over and over! It never stops licking until Johnny answers.
Johnny looked at the name on the phone and got so excited when he saw that it was Kenshi. He sat down and started kicking his feet and giggling while twiriling his hair, even though his hair was short, so it looked a little weird. After 2 more seconds (which was one whole Weezer lick), he answered.
"Hey, bbg. What's up, my sigma?"
Kenshi rolled his non-existent eyes, so he basically just rolled his head. Kenshi hated brianrot! He thinks it rots your brain! He doesn't think terms like "huzz" and "skibidi" are okay for anyone to use. Especially grown men who have PHDs.
"Please don't call me that, Cage."
"Aw, man! Sorry pook...I mean Kenshi." Johnny fumbled with that, but it's okay, he corrected himself.
"It's okay, I forgive you," Kenshi declared. Johnny was so happy that Kenshi forgave him, that he started twirling his hair again.
"Anyway, Kenny, what's up?" Johnny bit his lip like the absolute rizzler he is.
"I'm bored right now, want to come over?" Johnny was super duper duper happy to hear that Kenshi wanted him over. He was ecstatic. He was ascending into the air from pure happiness. Then he fell on the floor, and he got hurt. He got a MASSIVE boo boo! (Like Care from Petscop). It wasn't a big as the famous low tape fade meme, but it was still big.
"YEOUCH!" Johhny exclaimed as he fell.
"Johnny? Are you okay? What happened?" Kenshi was very concerned with Johnny's predicament. One moment you could hear Johnny squeal with delight, and the next you would hear him cry out in pain.
"I'm okay, I just fell........................fell for you! Hahahahahahahahahahahhahhahaha!"
"Wait, what?" Kenshi was no longer concerned for his twink boyfriend! How could he prank him like that?!?!? What the heck, man! Not cool! But, that did give Kenshi an idea. A very, very, very evil one, but a good one too. (Foreshadowing).
"Sorry, I just wanted to say that, but I did fall and it does hurt....... If only someone would....kiss it better." Even though Johnny was on the phone he was using his puppy dog eyes. He would do anything for a smooch from his sexy, hot, and attractive boyfriend.
Kenshi just sighed, Johhny cage is a very silly man. Super duper silly.
"Get your ass over here, Cage," Kenshi demanded.
"On it!" Johnny then started to get dressed in real clothes. A green shirt! A green shirt with a lighter green square in the middle. It was a Creeper! Aww, man. Then he put on his shoes, baby Yoda slippers, because he wanted his dogs to be more comfortable.
After securing his epic outfit (Jaws pants and a Minecraft shirt), he left. He got in his car, a 1972, hot pink Convertible Lincoln Continental. All the other colors were ass (panel green and that sickly, pale yellow). He turned on his Garmin Drive™ 53 GPS Navigator, High-Resolution Touchscreen, Simple On-Screen Menus and Easy-to-See Maps, Driver Alerts GPS.
He set the GPS to navigate to Kenshi's house. "Why doesn't he know the way to his own boyfriend's house?" you may ask. Well, it's because he's too busy thinking about his sexy boyfriend to remember when to turn while he's driving.
He drove so fast! He was faster than Sonic. He was faster than Sonic. He even went 12 fast! You might be saying, "That's not grammatically correct, you insolent fucko." But you're wrong! It is!
Johnny went 12 fast which translates to roughly 69 miles per hour (nice). That made the drive to Kenshi's place about 7.21 minutes.
He turned off the Garmin Drive™ 53 GPS Navigator, High-Resolution Touchscreen, Simple On-Screen Menus and Easy-to-See Maps, Driver Alerts GPS, opened the door, and somersaulted out of the car. He closed the door with a really soft side kick, so as to not damage the vehicle. That wouldn't be cool. It wouldn't be sigma. It would cringe. It would be cringema.
Johnny took a deep breath, walked to the porch and straightened his Creeper shirt (Aw, man). He didn't knock on the door, because Kenshi always leaves it unlocked for him! (How sweet! He is begging to be robbed).
Kenshi was already standing at the door because he was so bored and had nothing better to do and also he really wanted to see Johnny.
"Hey, Kenny Ken Kenny boo bear!" Before Kenshi could complain, Johnny kissed Kenshi because they were in love. Those gay men, always kissing men! But not really men plural because they are loyal partners and only kiss each other.
Johnny sadly had to pull away for air. He could kiss Kenshi all day, except he couldn't, because he needed to breathe. Johnny likes breathing, because you need to breathe to live, and he likes living. Mainly because he's famous and has some money and he has a very sigma (don't tell Kenshi he called him that) boyfriend.
"Hell yeah," Johnny said as he pulled away. He walked into Kenshi's house and took off his Star Wars slippers, because fuck you, baby Yoda! Too many middle-aged, white women are obsessed with you.
"So, Kenshi, what's up? What do you want to do?"
Truth be told, Kenshi had no idea what he wanted to do. He just wanted to see his boyfriend with a big gyatt. He hates that word, because it's brainrot, but he doesn't really have another word he could use to describe his boyfriend's voluptuous ass.
"I'm not really sure what I want to do," Kenshi admitted.
"Oh, I see, you just missed me," Johnny teased.
Again this part was true, he wasn't going to lie. "Maybe a little." Okay, maybe he would lie a little bit, because he really missed Johnny. He missed how much he would talk or "yap" as the kids these days (and Johnny) say. Dumb brain-rotted kids, only caring about A Minecraft Movie and spending Friday nights at a pizza place with a bear and other robots.
"Kenshi, we should see the Minecraft movie!" Johnny suddenly proclaimed.
HUH? They could do anything! Anything Johnny wanted! They could be making sweet love right now, and he wants to watch the fucking Minecraft movie? That's bullshit. Kenshi can't even watch the trailer. Even he knew it was going to be bad.
"Johnny, I love you, I really do...but I don't want to watch that."
"Kenshi, Kenny, Kendoll, Kenny, Ken, Kendoll please, please, please, please. I really want to watch the Minecraft movie with you. Please, Kenshi! If you watch it, we can go get those cupcakes you like!"
Rats! Kenshi really likes those cupcakes, he also really likes (loves) Johnny, he would do anything for that handsome actor with a huge, voluptuous gyatt... Shit balls.
"Fine," Kenshi said.
That one word was all Johnny needed to hear before jumping up and down and giggling and twirling his hair. He was so happy! And that made Kenshi happy. Probably because they love each other or something like that.
4 hours later, they were in Johnny's 1972, hot pink Convertible Lincoln Continental, with the Garmin Drive™ 53 GPS Navigator, High-Resolution Touchscreen, Simple On-Screen Menus and Easy-to-See Maps, Driver Alerts GPS telling Johnny how to get to the awesome cupcake place.
Once they arrived, Kenshi got a the viral 19 Dollar Strawberry Flavored Cupcake and Johnny got the viral Dubai Choclate Cupcake. They payed - because they're good boys - and left.
They didn't go back to Johnny's 1972, hot pink Convertible Lincoln Continental. Instead, they went next door to the gas station to pick up drinks.
Johnny got a Baja Blast and Kenshi got a Monster energy drink, but not one of the fun flavors, just the normal one. He's boring like that, but Johnny still loves him.
They then payed for the drinks and put the drinks in Kenshi's suit pocket, which is weird that he's wearing a suit midday, but Johnny won't complain because Kenshi looks really nice in a suit. They put the drinks in his pockets, which was another level of weird, because one of Kenshi's pockets was bigger than the other, like Kenshi has something else in his pocket, something beside refreshing beverages.
The cupcakes which the cupcake place conveniently put in Ziplock bags were in Johnny's pockets. Now they are completely hidden and nobody can tell they're sneaking stuff illegally into the theater!
Johnny drove his 1972, hot pink Convertible Lincoln Continental, to the theater.
In the theater, they bought their tickets and successfully snuck in with the forbidden snacks. They waited through 10 minutes of boring movies traliers, none of which had Johnny Cage acting or directing them, therefore, they sucked.
During the flim, Johnny made sure to explain what
was happening to Kenshi.
"So, Kenshi, there's a wooden box with a 9x9 grid. It's a crafting table."
Or
"That's 5x4 blocks of obsidian called a Nether Portal."
Or
"It's basically a sheep, but pink."
Or
"So, it's a chicken, with a baby zombie riding it. The baby zombie is just a normal zombie but smaller."
When the movie was over they threw away their trash (because they weren't litter bugs), and went outside.
"Kenshi, that movie was absolutely, positively the best movie I've ever seen! It was great, and amazing, and so funny! I loved the part where Jack Black said the names of all the blocks. Absolute cinema."
Kenshi disagreed, he didn't like it very much. In fact, he hated it so much that he had to go home.
So Johnny drove them home in his 1972, hot pink Convertible Lincoln Continental, using his Garmin Drive™ 53 GPS Navigator, High-Resolution Touchscreen, Simple On-Screen Menus and Easy-to-See Maps, Driver Alerts GPS to show him the way home.
When they got home, Kenshi was still thinking about the movie and how much he didn't like it. But he also thought about how much Johnny liked it. And how much he loved Johnny (which was so much). He would do anything. and that's when it hit him, he had to do it now. He's had everything he needed in his pocket. Now is the perfect time. But first, he gave Johnny a big ol' smooch to match the big ol' red ones from the movie.
"Johnny, I have to tell you something."
"What is is, Kendoll?" Johnny asked.
"I'm done being your boyfriend."
Johnny's jaw dropped when he heard that, what the fuck?! What the absolute shit?! What the shit balls! They had just kissed! And now Kenshi's leaving?!?!??! Just like how Johnny's dad left when he went to go buy milk.
How could Kenshi do this? They loved each other! They say that every night! What the fuck?!
Johnny was so mad that he started to cry. He quickly turned around and started to leave.
"Johnny, wait!" Kenshi began to worry. Johnny wasn't supposed to leave.
"I want to be your husband!" Kenshi shouted, pulling a ring out of his left pocket and getting down on one knee.
"I love you so much Johnny, you are the star to my sky, the salad to my dressing... I want to marry you."
Johnny was so happy and shocked by this that his tears became tears of joy instead of sadness!
"Of course I will, YES, YES!" Johnny ran up to him and they made out because they're going to get married and they love each other so very much.
Nobody died, and they all lived happily ever after, the end.