Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

This takes place a little before If came out!
AU where Chantal and Jimmy break up! >u<
(I love ruining healthy relationships just to make stimmy happen <3)

It had been about a week since it happened. It started months ago, the signs were obvious but Jimmy kept choosing to ignore them. Endless nights of yelling and drinking, waking up with hangovers and then yelling at eachother again. Chantal had lost feelings long before all of this, and was trying to drop hints, but Jimmy refused to listen or believe any of it. It was impossible to pretend after the door slammed shut. The sound echoed throughout the room and Jimmy could feel his heart pounding in ears. It was over.

The rest of the band had noticed that Jimmy had been acting off, but Jimmy refused to admit anything was wrong and they still did shows despite Jimmy obviously wanting to be anywhere but the stage. He hadn't been getting sleep and only really opened up to Steve, though he never told the whole story. Jimmy kept making jokes about the situation or playing it off as him being "completely fine."

Tonight they had a big show to play, a full, sold out stadium of screaming fans and eager people. Jimmy could already feel his head pounding and his eyelids drooping. The band was backstage now, while the opening act played for a while. Steve sat down next to Jimmy on the couch in the backstage area. He gave the shorter man a look.

"Alright, Jim. What's on your mind?" Steve said sternly, yet his voice was laced with concern and a bit of... possible affection for the man beside him.
"Whaddya mean? I'm fine, dude." Jimmy responded with a forced smirk.
"I didn't say you weren't, i just asked what was on your mind. Though, it's clear that you're not fine."
"If this is about the shit with Chantal I don't want to discuss it. Im over it. Im over her, and I'm over people trying to get me to talk about it." Jimmy said, sounding mad yet his tone didn't mask the clear sadness on his face. Steve sighed, there was no way to get him to talk in this state and he had no choice but to deal with it.

"Okay, I wont make you talk about it.. But you look way too tired to go up on stage tonight.." Steve said, speaking after a moment of comfortable silence. His tone wasn't as stern as before, it was more.. soft.
"I don't want to go out there like this. It'll disappoint so many people if I'm not doing my best up there. But i don't know what else I can do. The shows already started and the crowd is waiting for us to go up there and rock their socks off...but I don't think I can do it. Not this time."

Steve nodded and placed a reassuring hand on the shorters shoulder. "I know, I know its a lot of pressure, but you've never once failed to entertain people. We just need something to get your energy up, and luckily for you, i brought energy drinks. It should last you long enough to give those people the best show they've ever seen." Steve gave Jimmy a smile to which he returned weakly, but it was genuine. "Thanks, Steve... You're the best." Jimmy said softly.
"Heh, not a problem." Steve reached into a cooler bag by his feet and pulled out an energy drinks, handing it to Jimmy. "Now, drink up. We've got a show to play!"

Chapter Text

Jimmy was feeling much more energized now, and the band was just as great as ever on the stage. The noise from earlier didn't die down at all, in fact the moment they all stepped on stage the screaming and yelling only got louder, adding more pain to Jimmy's mind numbing headache. Jimmy was singing and dancing just as well as he normally did, but every movement he made seemed blurry in his eyes, the moment felt so unreal and not in a good way. It felt as if he was walking on a tight rope, teetering on the edge of consciousness. A couple times he had to lean on Steve or Kitty's drumset for support. His legs kept almost giving out. His body was numb. The whole show felt like it would never end.

But eventually it did. And by the end Jimmy was numb, tired, freezing, and nauseous. As soon as the final song ended, Jimmy dropped the microphone, not bothering to put it back up on the stand, and ran off stage. Steve immediately dropped his guitar and running after him. Kitty and Lyn-Z exchanged a look and decided to just leave Steve and Jimmy alone. They both stood there awkwardly, waiting for the two to finish, as they only had one ride back to the hotel.

Meanwhile, Steve was looking for Jimmy backstage. He looked everywhere but still couldn't find him...Until he heard soft sniffles from behind the storage area. The soft and vulnerable noise had to be coming coming from Jimmy, but it was so unusual to hear his best friend so upset and scared. Steve peeked his head and saw Jimmy hugging his knees and sitting down on the floor. Tears were rolling down the usually overconfident man's cheeks. He looked broken.

"Jimmy...?" Steve said softly, trying not to scare him. Jimmy flinched at the sound of a voice other than his own, he looked up at Steve and quickly wiped his eyes and nose on his sleeve. "W-What do you want?" Jimmy said defensively, though he was glad Steve was there. "Are you alright? Im starting to get seriously worried about ya, Jim..."

Jimmy was silent for a moment before immediately clinging onto Steve like a lifeline, his sobs were flowing out of his mouth like a waterfall. He knew that he should've kept it together but he was too overtired to care anymore.

The whole rest of the night went by as a blur, there was crying, apologizing, crying some more, but eventually Steve was able to calm Jimmy down enough to bring him back out to the rest of the band. Kitty and Lyn-Z were patiently waiting for the two of them and shared looks of concern when they both returned, but silently agreed to not say a word.

Chapter Text

Steve stared into Jimmy's wide eyes lovingly, cupping the shorter ones delicate face in his big hands as he slowly leaned in and...

Jimmy suddenly woke up, dripping with sweat. Just a dream. A bad one? It couldn't have been a bad one, it didn't feel like a bad dream at all. But dreaming things like that...thinking things like that... It wasn't right and Jimmy knew it. Had he thought about these things before? He couldn't have, he would've remembered. It was just a stupid dream, it had to be. The whole "dreams are your destiny" thing had to be bullshit, because this was just...weird. And for some reason it didn't seem like the bad kind of weird.

Jimmy's heart raced in his chest as he looked around the room. He was in the hotel the band was staying in. And he was sharing a room with Steve. Was it normal to have dreams like that about your best friend? He looked at the bed beside him and saw Steve laying there under the covers, sound asleep and drooling. Why in the world would he he have dreams about that idiot? The room was a mess, though they only had been staying there a few nights. Lyn-Z and Kitty were staying in the room next to them, surely they were doing better then they were when it came to cleanliness. A soft and tired voice interrupted Jimmy's loud racing mind, making Jimmy jump a little.

"You're up early..." Steve said, his voice raspy from sleep as he spoke, letting out a yawn.

"Uh, yeah, just had a weird dream i guess.." Jimmy replied, his voice a bit shaky, avoiding eye contact with the man speaking to him. God damnit, why was he so sweaty?! Maybe he had gotten sick? Or a hangover?

"About?" Steve said skeptically after a moment of observing Jimmy's expression.

"I-...Y'Know, it really dont matter. I don't really remember much of it anyway." Jimmy quickly replied, hoping Steve would just fucking drop it before he melts into a puddle of his own sweat. Why the fuck was he sweating so damn much?!

"Whatever, man." Steve said after a moment, yawning again and rubbing his eyes. "You're so fuckin sweaty you look like someone laminated you, Jim." Steve said, looking Jimmy up and down with a raised eyebrow.

"Shut it the fuck up, Fatty." Jimmy replied harshly. "It's just hot in here." His face grew redder almost instantly.

"Not THAT hot, dude. You're acting like our hotel room is a damn over or something. Just shower, Jim." Steve said standing up and sitting on the floor in front of Jimmy, leaning his arms on the bed and resting his head on them. Jimmy almost choked at how close they were now, and how Steve was looking up at him with those tired eyes... But he hid how he was feeling, after all, he doesn't like Steve like that. They're friends and nothing mouth.

"I'm not showering." Jimmy said. Steve instantly smirked.

"Afraid I'll watch you~?"

Oh, that made Jimmy's heart do a flip in his chest. They joked like this all the time, why was this time different to him?!

"Shut up, you pervert..." Jimmy said, throwing a nearby pillow at Steve's face.

Chapter Text

It was now later in the day, the band was at some crappy restaurant near the hotel. They all already received their food but Jimmy wasn't eating. His mind still racing with memories of his dream. It was a short dream, very short, but it was clear what it depicted. Too clear, actually. Jimmy liked Steve. There was no denying his feelings anymore. But why? And how would Steve take it? Should he even tell him? What if he still had a chance with Chantal? What if-

"Jim, are you gonna eat that?" Kitty asked, her words bringing Jimmy back to reality. Her face was stuffed with food as she spoke, her cheeks puffed out and she had a small smile on her face. Jimmy couldn't help but laugh at the sight. "No, you can have it, Kit."

Kitty smiled as much as she could with all the food in her mouth, taking Jimmy's plate and scrapping the food onto her own plate. Lyn-Z began talking after a moment of silence; "Y'Know we should really.." She starts doing a weird motion with her fingers. Jimmy looks at her like she's insane. "Tickle eachother? What the fuck are you doing?" Jimmy asked in a confused tone, making Kitty and Steve laugh a little while Lyn-Z rolled her eyes. "No, you retard, that was supposed to mimic playing a bass...I meant we should really work on the new album."

Steve spoke up; "How the fuck are we supposed to get THAT from you fingering the air?" He said passively, making Kitty and Jimmy laugh a bit while Lyn-Z hid a small smirk. "Whatever, just...Jimmy have you even written any new lyrics?"

Jimmy looked up from the table and tried to think back. "No, I haven't. Writers block." He replied with a shrug. "We don't have to add more songs to the album Lyn, I think we have plenty already. Besides the ones we have are finished or almost done, why make more work for ourselves?"

Lyn-Z sighed; "Yeah but 15 songs on one album? What ever happened to the bigger numbers? Tight had 27, Frankenstein Girls had 30, and now we're suddenly switchin' shit up? It went from Frankenstein Girls with 30, to You'll Rebel with 14."

Steve spoke up, his tone serious. "Tight and Frankenstein Girls' songs were all short. Like less than a minute sometimes, I think because we made all the songs on If a full 2 or 3 minutes it'll make up for the number of songs on it."

"Yeah, Lyn, it'll be fine." Jimmy said, rolling his eyes at Lyn-Z's persistence, she always had to make sure things were perfect, even when they were already fine.

"If this album flops, im blaming everyone here." Lyn-Z said, sticking her tongue out at Jimmy and slumping back into her seat, picking at her food. The group sat in a comfortable silence for a little bit until Kitty spoke up for the first time in the last 20 minutes. "Hey, Lyn? When we get back to our hotel room, do you wanna paint eachothers nails?" She said with a happy smile.

Lyn-Z smiled back at Kitty and nodded. "Sure! I dont mind, just dont judge me if my nail art sucks, I haven't practiced in forever.." Kitty flashed a quick excited smile. "Jimmy, you should let us paint your nails too!" Kitty said, looking at Jimmy with an expression that was practically making it impossible for James to say no. After a moment of hesitation, Jimmy sighed. "Alright..."

Lyn-Z and Kitty exchanged ecstatic looks before squealing in sync. Steve just smirked. "Heh, faggot..." He muttered loud enough for Jimmy to hear, Jimmy just shot him a glare in response.

Chapter Text

The group was walking down the road to get back to the hotel, Lyn-Z and Kitty chatting, their movements almost seemed animated, and Steve and Jimmy locked in a stupid conversation on whether cereal was a soup or not. Steve smirked before calling over to Kitty and Lyn-Z; "Hey, girls? Is cereal a soup?" He asked, knowing they would side with him on this one.

Both girls looked amused by Jimmy and Steve's topic of banter before replying with the same answer. "Its not a soup, soup is warm." Lyn-Z said, as if the answer was obvious. Kitty followed up with a similar response, disgust etched on her face.
"Calling cereal a soup is just wrong.."

Steve's face immediately dropped and Jimmy's wide grin grew larger. "I fuckin' told you, Fat Boy!" The shorter male called out in excitement, pumping his fists in the air in a celebratory motion. Steve looked defeated, but had an amused smile on his face at Jimmy's childish movements and excitement. "Yeah, yeah, I knew that...I just let you win." Steve said matter-of-factly, playfully shoving Jimmy, who responded with a roll of his eyes and a scoff. "Oh, sureee..."

Lyn-Z and Kitty exchanged knowing smirks as they watched Jimmy and Steve playfully argue and shove eachother while laughing. Kitty whispered something into Lyn-Z's ear that made her laugh loudly, making Jimmy turn to face them. "What's so damn funny?"

Lyn-Z tried to hold back laughter and Kitty snorted. "N-Nothing, Jim- Just...Go in the hotel-" Lyn-Z managed to get out through laughs, her sides hurting from laughing so hard.

-Itty bitty time skip (DONT EAT ME.)-

The girls and Jimmy were sitting on the plush carpeted floor of Lyn-Z and Kitty's hotel room, talking while painting eachothers nails. It was basically a "Girls' Night" except Jimmy seemed to always be involved. Steve was God knows where, probably at the bar downstairs or sleeping in him and Jimmy's hotel room.

Throughout the night, Kitty and Lyn-Z kept sharing looks, like they knew something Jimmy didn't before bursting out laughing again. "Are you guys gonna tell me what's so funny or are you just gonna keep laughing like hyenas?" Jimmy said playfully, though his curiosity was practically overflowing into his expression.
Kitty continues to paint Jimmy's nails and tried to stop laughing before Lyn-Z spoke up. "Is Steve a good kisser?" She said, her voice shaky as she tried to hold back a bark of laughter, Kitty almost losing it at Jimmy's instant confusion and red face.

"What-? Why the hell would I know?" He spoke in a voice that was both shaky with embarrassment and defensive as if he was trying to prove something. Kitty pitched in, her voice weak from laughing so damn hard. "Just thought you would know- Because-" Suddenly she burst out laughing and almost fucked up Jimmy's nails. "Because you two are so goddamn gay its painful to watch!" She said while laughing, Lyn-Z now giggling and holding onto Kitty's arm to steady herself.

Jimmy rolled his eyes but his face was beet red. "You two are insufferable, I swear..." But he couldn't hold back a soft laugh of his own as he watched Lyn-Z and Kitty completely lose it.

"Alright, alright..." Lyn-Z said taking deep breaths to calm down. "We'll stop talking about that-" Kitty finished the sentence for her. Jimmy sighed in relief, he really didnt wanna talk about shit like that right now.

The trio continued their hang out, they had finished painting eachothers nails and were currently watching some dumb show called Desperate Housewives on television, basically laughing and making fun of the show while tipsy as fuck. Lyn-Z and Kitty seemed invested in the show after a while, though Jimmy sat there confused, he had zero clue what was going on, the plot seemed to switch every 5 seconds and it was hard to keep up. His head hurt just trying to comprehend it.

"How do you two fags understand this shit?" Jimmy said, his voice slightly slurred as he spoke due to the alcohol in his already weak system. All he got in return was a harsh shush from both girls, as they continued to watch the TV like a predator watching its prey. Jimmy rolled his eyes and stood up; "Im going to my hotel room, enjoy your gay ass show.." He mumbled, walking out the door.

"Kay, bye."
"Uh huh..."

Jimmy rolled his eyes and shut the door walking down the hall to his hotel room, pulling out his keycard and unlocking the door. He immediately walked over to his bed and let himself flop on the soft, cheap mattress. Steve looked up from his phone from the bed across from Jimmy. "Long night?" He said, raising an eyebrow in amusement at his friend's exhausted state.

"Mhmm..." Jimmy hummed into the pillow his face was smashed into. Steve smiled as he looked at him, only for a brief moment, was there a shread of endearment. But he hid it faster than it appeared. "Get some sleep, kay?" Steve said, trying to sound noncommittal but a hint of an emotion he wasn't ready to acknowledge yet seeped through.

"Uh huh..." Jimmy slurred, already half asleep, and with that Steve turned out the light on the bedside table and forced himself to lie down, though his mind was racing just like Jimmy's had earlier..