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Everything hurt, and it had been hurting the whole walk back to the winery. Diluc thought that after three years, he wouldn’t remember the path back home, but it was engraved in his mind like a pigeon flying home. So he wasn’t really surprised when he could see the large building that was the winery.
He wants to go home, he really does, but he can’t go back to the manor that was in Mondstadt, and if he goes into Mondstadt, everyone is going to see him. In Fatui clothes, hair long and tangled, covered in other people’s blood. He didn’t want those looks, so the winery was the best option.
He limped up the path, walking past the rows of grapes. The sun was up, but Diluc couldn’t see anyone out. It confused him, but he was glad that there would be fewer people to see him. He finally got to the door, his legs felt like jello, he had walked miles and miles he was surprised he hadn’t fallen more on the way here.
Diluc patted himself down before finding a worn key. It was gold that used to be polished and shiny back when he was given it, but now it was much older, dirty, and aged. He put the key into the small hole above the handle, holding his breath, after all, what if they changed the lock? But when he turned the key…it clicked and finally turned the handle, and the door cracked open.
The scent of wood and wine hit him, it wasn’t harsh, just nostalgic when his Father would take him here to see how things work, to spend summer every year. He missed it, a part of his heart craved this feeling, this comfort.
Diluc was careful raising his leg up over the step up into the house, putting one gloved hand onto the door frame for support. In the distance, farther inside the house, he could hear footsteps coming closer, making him look up. His other hand went up, the delusion on the glove started to glow as he readied for whoever was coming.
They come closer and closer and round the corner, and Diluc freezes the person he is staring at freezes too. It was Adelinde, his Father’s head maid, the woman who basically raised him for so many years he can’t even remember the day she came into his life, she was just always there.
The two stared at each other for what felt like hours before Adelinde ran over like she was unfrozen, “Master Diluc!” She was by his side in moments, moving her arm under Diluc’s arm, letting him let go of the doorframe. He should feel upset after all, he doesn’t want anyone to see him like this, but looking at Adelinde, the only mother figure he ever had, he just wishes he was five years old, lying over her lap and crying.
“Master Diluc? Can you hear me? Master Diluc?” She raised her voice each time she called his name, shaking Diluc out of his headspace. “U-Umm, yes, I can.” His voice was quieter than before, wobbly, showing how close he was to crying.
He was ready for the questions about everything, after all, he didn’t explain why he had to leave, and now there must be more curiosity, more worry. Here he was, covered in blood in Fatui clothes, not even the ones he left in because they didn’t fit after three years. But they never came.
“Let's get you to the restroom. I will draw you a bath, and will should have the first aid kit in there.”
Diluc blinked after all. How could she be so nice to him? After seeing him covered in blood? But he followed now that he had help walking, he kept looking around, at the wooden floor, the walls, and Elzer’s desk in the corner. It was all the same, just how he left it. They made it to the bathroom, it felt a bit embarrassing needing help to undress, but it hurt moving around too much, small wounds everywhere, some were shallow, some much deeper, some had scarred, others were still open, wrapped in bloody bandages. It took a few tries, but he was in the tub that was only partly filled with water, and it was warm; it felt nice. It's been a while since he has been warm.
Explaining himself to Adelinde was a lot harder than he thought he wanted to lie, but it felt so wrong to do so. So he talked, and to his surprise, once more Adelinde didn’t look disgusted at him, mostly worried if anything else, but there was a look, it wasn’t anything bad, but it felt like pity, like she was looking at Diluc as if he were a poor child. Diluc felt like he should be upset about it, but instead, it only made the feeling of crying grow, but he held back.
After the bath, the tub’s water was now dirtier and darker in color from the dirt on his skin and had a pink hue from the blood. He sat on the edge of the tub, letting Adelinde patch up his wounds, covering them in fresh bandages, the old ones in the trash. Once they were all covered, she got up. She wasn’t as young as she used to be, having to use the counter for help, but she managed.
“I am going to grab a few clothes for you if you want. I can help you dress if it hurts too much.” Before closing the door, her footsteps faded away.
She came back a few minutes later with a small stack of folded clothes, putting them on the counter. “Do you want help?” she asked, turning to him, but Diluc shook his head. “No, thank you for the help, but I am going to try and do this on my own, but I will call out if I need it.”
Adelinde folded her hands in front of her and nodded, understanding the urge to be alone, and closed the door, she didn’t lock it, probably for the fact that if something did happen where he would need help. Getting dressed was hard, his hands were too shaky to button up the black shirt, and he hurt bending down to pull up the pants, and in the back of his mind, he wondered whose were these? His clothes before he left were probably too tight, like the ones he wore when he left, and Kaeya was smaller than him. So that means…oh. He didn’t want to look in the mirror anymore.
He had to call out Adelinde, only being able to put the clothes on, but the buttons were too hard to put together. So she took over quickly, probably waiting outside the door from how quickly she came in.
Once the last button was put together, she looked up, fixing the collar of the shirt. “Let's get you to bed. I have gotten your room ready, it's just how you left it.” She took his hand, guiding him down a familiar hall to the staircase. It was a bit harder and took much more time than if Diluc was okay, but they managed as best they could with a few breaks, and now they were wobbling down the hall to a door down the far right hall. His old room, the room he lived and slept in every summer for years.
When Adelinde unlocked and pushed open the door and, it was just how he left it. Walls painted a bright cherry red, the framing a snowy white, the room wasn’t the biggest, the bed wasn’t very large, still made for his smaller teenage size, and covered in pillows and soft blankets. The room had a messy desk full of paper, probably drawings of animals he used to love to make back in the day.
Adelinde helped him onto the bed. “You need to rest, okay? Would you like me to call Master Kaeya over?”
“NO- I'm sorry, no, please don’t call him, I don’t want to see him.” He doesn’t want to explain again, he doesn’t want to see what has happened to his brother. Are they even brothers at this point? She nodded, unsure why he didn’t want to see Kaeya, but agreed not to do so.
He leaned back into the soft bed, letting out a groan, his feet could touch the footboard, having to bend his legs not to hit it. The covers were thrown over him. Adelinde patted his good shoulder. “I am glad to have you back, Diluc.” Her voice was soft, showing how much care she had for him before pulling away, closing the door quietly as she left.
Diluc turned and twisted in bed as hours passed. It didn’t feel right, he just couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t the bed, it was soft, maybe a bit too soft, not even the wounds kept him awake, just he needed to do something, something far more important than catching up on the months of sleep he had missed.
So he found a piece of clean paper from the desk and a pen and wrote down where he was going, not wanting to worry Adelinde when she came to his room in the morning. He finds a coat in his clothes, which was oversized when he got it a few years ago, but now it fits like a glove.
Going down the stairs was a bit easier than up, not having to lift his legs as much as before, but he had to grip the railing as hard as he could in fear of falling forward, and he really didn’t want to fall on hardwood after everything.
When he got outside, to his surprise, it was already night time, the sky cloudy but already going a dark blue, a few stars peeking through, giving him just enough light to see where he was going. It took a lot of walking to get here. He was limping across the bridge into Mondstadt. The two guards that are usually standing in front of the pathway guarding the area were never out at night, something Diluc was now noticing as a weak point.
He walked inside the place was oddly quiet. It's so odd to hear the usual peaceful and cheerful city now silent, no lights on, or the sound of chatter. The only sound was Diluc’s heavy breathing and his clumsy footsteps. He didn’t care if it took him all night to get where he wanted to be; he kept going.
He climbed steps, nearly falling many times over, before finally getting to where he wanted to be. The cemetery behind the Cathedral. The Ragnvindr family has always been close to Mondstadt, and one of the few families that get buried in the Cathedral’s cemetery when they past Diluc himself would probably be buried here though he liked the idea of being buried at at the cliff near Wolvendom a place he used to visit a lot as a child. Though if he did die outside of Mondstadt, who knows where his resting place would be?
He walked past the graves, some were so old that moss was growing on the tombstones, others were clean and polished like the families paid for them to be. They were in all shapes and sizes. Diluc has no clue what his Father’s stone looked like; he had no say in the matter on the road, of course. He took a glance over the stones at all the names written on them.
Finally, on the far right, he found what he was looking for. The tombstone wasn’t the biggest nor the fanciest, it was simply something his Father would have liked. The important part was the detailing. There was the phoenix engraved in the center, something that is on all Ragnvindr tombstones, small batches of graves on vines along the edges.
Diluc got down, sitting on the soft grass around him as he read the epitaph to himself.
“Crepus Ragnvindr”
XXXX - XXXX
A loving father, friend, and husband
Diluc read the words over and over to himself. It felt real, he was really dead. The reality seemed to finally hit; sure, logically he had always known that Crepus wasn’t alive anymore, but to see the grave, to see the words. It was far different to just see it than knowing in the back of his mind that he is dead.
This time, he couldn’t hold back the tears as they fell, his vision blurring not out of pain this time, he traced a finger along the engravings as the silent tears turned into sobs, his body shaking from the force. Why did this have to happen? Why did he have to freeze that day? If only he were just a little stronger, maybe just maybe he could have saved his Father, but that wasn’t his reality.
Instead, he stayed at the grave for who knows how long, and finally, his tiredness had taken over; he held the cold tombstone close, tears falling onto it. His world was fading into darkness as he dreamed of days that were far behind him.