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Jhoanna, who's leaning on one of the lockers, greeted Mikha with a smile “Why are you here?” Mikha asked, her attention focusing on fixing her knee pads, “Ayaw mo ako makita?” Jhoanna pouts, "Don't do that, It's annoying"
“Wala ka talagang sweetness sa katawan” Jhoanna retorted then turned her back, Mikha snickered “I’m joking, Love” She wrapped her hand around Jhoanna, pulling her in a back hug.
“Thank you for coming to see me before the game. I’m less nervous na” Jhoanna, still wrapped around Mikha’s arms, turns around so they could face each other, being the taller one she planted a soft kiss on Mikha’s forehead.
It had always been what Jhoanna found so amusing, Mikha might act all cool and tough, but she’d melt everytime Jhoanna gives her forehead kisses. It’s her advantage as the taller one.
“I know you can do it, panalo last year, ‘di ba? kaya ulit ‘yan, I believe in you”
—
Cold sweat drenched Mikha’s face. She was nervous.
They were in the final set, 11-13, La Salle down to 2.
“Vergara serving for La Salle”
“It’s a service ace from Colet Vergara!”
“La Salle cuts the lead down to 1!”
The Lady Spikers became more nervous, and Colet was sent to the serving line for the second time.
“Parani in the front line”
“Saved by Lim! To Sevilleja!”
“Block by Medina!”
“Chance ball for Ateneo”
“Parani sends it away! And Ateneo is getting closer to the championship!”
Mikha breathed heavily, she looked over at the corner of the court, she met Jhoanna’s gaze. Mikha took a deep breath and went back to her position.
“Chase Medina serving for Ateneo”
“Lim chases it down, Saves the day!”
“Reyes, Chance for Ateneo”
“Dig by Catacutan”
“Salvador to Medina!”
“AND THAT’S IT! ATENEO DEFEATS THE DEFENDING CHAMPION LA SALLE”
Mikha failed. The ball had bounced off her hand, and she couldn’t save it. She falls to the ground. They lost.
Jhoanna saw Colet running to Mikha for a hug, Mikha looked back to where Jhoanna was, their eyes met. Tears fell from her eyes.
Jhoanna wanted to run, she wanted to pull her into a hug and tell her it’s alright. But she couldn’t, not when she needed to make an interview about Ateneo’s win. “Jhoanna, we’ll be on camera in a minute pwesto na”
Jhoanna’s mind was floating, her smile was forced, she couldn’t focus because all she thought about was Mikha.
As soon as she finished the interview, she handed the mic to the camera man. She ran to where La Salle’s locker room was, Stacey Sevilleja saw Jhoanna. “Nasa dulo siya” She points to the darker side of the area where no one was there.
“We were so close….” Mikha whispers, her voice breaking in between “We could’ve won that, I’m so stupid”
“Hey…” Mikha looked up and saw Jhoanna, she stood up and ran into her arms, she sobbed.
“You’ll be alright” Jhoanna pats her head gently “Nandito lang ako”
—
“Ang pangit kasi ng sets”
“Lim should never play for DLSU”
“Ang nagiisang request ko kay Coach ay ‘wag bigyan ng playing time si Lim or much better alisin niyo na lang siya sa team”
Jhoanna clenched her fist, she put her phone down aggressively. To say she was mad is an understatement, She’s enraged.
“Ang sahol talaga nitong mga trolls, napakasama ng mga ugali, akala mo sila ‘yung player kung maka bash” She says clearly frustrated, Her eyes diverted to the glass of water in front of her, she looked at her right side “I told you to stop reading those” Mikha says.
“Let them be, they were right naman, maybe i’m not really a great player” She adds, although Mikha had said it calmly, Jhoanna knew she’s just trying her best to ignore it. “Sige, I’ll ignore them, but don’t you ever say they were right” She walks closer to Mikha. Jhoanna puts both her hand’s on Mikha’s cheeks “You are a good player, I know you are” She assures her, Mikha nods, she bits the side of her lips trying to stop herself from crying, she avoids Jhoanna’s eyes.
“Mahal kita,” Jhoanna says “You have me whatever it takes, whatever they say. I loved you for so many reasons to just give up because of one, one thing that’s not even true, people just forget to see the bigger picture, to see the hard work you put up with, one mistake and they forget all the good things you’ve done for the team”
“May next year pa, babawi pa” Mikha nods, “I love you more than anything, Thank you for always saying the words I need to hear”
—
“Love, naiwan ko ‘yung folder ko sa bedside table mo, pwede mo ba ipadeliver sa lalamove before 3pm? I need it kasi” Mikha reads the message, she takes a look at her watch, 12pm.
She’s got three hours until she reaches UP Diliman. Mikha decides that she’ll bring it herself, wait until Jhoanna’s class finishes and then take her out on a date.
Sounds like a plan, she thought.
Mikha took her jacket hanging on the rack before taking her car keys from the table “Shit, coding nga pala ako” She put the keys back, she stood in front of the door for a few minutes.
“I can commute, I can do this”
Mikha was nervously lining up at the ticket counter. “Uhm….one ticket to Cubao?” The cashier stares at her, Mikha gets scared, her stare was almost a glare.
The cashier hands her a card and the change to her one thousand peso bill. It was her first time riding the MRT, nervousness was evident in her face, but Mikha was determined to learn, she followed where the people were going until she found the train.
She arrives at Cubao station, she checks the time, 1:12pm.
Mikha panics, She didn't know where to go from there. She was too shy to ask the guards. Mikha didn’t want to call Jhoanna because she’ll surely scold her.
She remembers a friend, Colet, she quickly dials her number.
“Anong kailangan mo, Mikhs”
“Not even a hello Mikha first. Kailangan agad?”
“You don’t do calls if it’s not Jhoanna. What do you need?”
“Well, I’m in Cubao and I think i’m lost”
“As much as I want to fetch you there, nasa La Union ako, don’t you have the grab app?”
Mikha finally remembers, she thanked Colet before she dropped the call. She had forgotten about the grab app.
"Nag MRT pa ako, I can grab naman pala from Taft" She thought
—
“Love! Nagpunta ka pa talaga dito?” Jhoanna greets Mikha with a hug, as soon as Mikha arrives, she calls Jhoanna and the latter tells her to wait at the Sunken Garden.
“I missed you and I’ll take you out on a date sana after your class” Mikha says, Jhoanna smiled at her “Swerte mo, our professor cancelled the class, Ipapasa ko lang muna ‘to and then balikan kita rito, could you wait for me?”
“I would, take your time, Love”
Mikha watches her walk away, and when Jhoanna disappears from her sight, She walks near a tree to take cover.
“Ricalde! Bilisan mo malapit na tayo malate” She was startled when she heard a loud voice followed by someone bumping into her. Mikha almost fell to the ground but she managed to keep her balance.
“What the hell–” Mikha was ready to scold the girl who bumped into her but she couldn’t find anyone, all she saw was a figure running away. “She didn’t even say sorry”
—
Jhoanna pushed the grocery cart forward, her fingers tapping lightly against the handle. "Bakit parang kinakabahan ako sa plano mo?" she mumbled, casting a wary glance at Mikha.
Mikha let out a laugh, her eyes scanning the pack of pasta in her hands “Don’t you trust me?” She asked, her voice slips a hint of offense.
Jhoanna giggled, pushing the cart closer “I trust you in everything but cooking” Mikha spun around, raising a brow “You say that as if you can cook” she scoffed “You almost burned down your apartment when you tried cooking an egg, E-G-G, egg.” Mikha emphasizes.
Jhoanna raises both her hands in defeat, “Sorry ha hindi ako marunong gumamit ng electric stove” Mikha shakes her head, letting out a lighthearted giggle.
Jhoanna watched her, a smile appearing on her lips. It was the first time she had seen Mikha this eager to do something aside from when she’s on court playing volleyball. It was heartwarming to see Mikha have the same dedication while choosing the ingredients for their “kitchen date”
Jhoanna could get used to this. The tables have turned this time around, usually it was Jhoanna who would sulk. She could also get used to this, It was cute, and she feels like she’s falling in love with her all over again,
Jhoanna will fall in love with every version Mikha could be, whether she was quiet or loud, confident or flustered, Jhoanna loved all of her.
Mikha interrupts her train of thoughts “Instead of watching me, why don’t you help out?” Jhoanna blinked, caught off guard. “You’re so in love with me, and you’re not even trying to hide it”
—
“Why do you like romantic movies so much?” Mikha asks “Nakakakilig kaya” Jhoanna replied,
“Really?”
“You haven’t tried?” Mikha shakes her head “I’m not really into romantic movies eh” Jhoanna nods
“But I can try, what do you want to watch?” Jhoanna smiled, her eyes sparked with excitement as she started to go through Netflix looking for a romantic movie.
Mikha smiled as she watched her. One thing she loved the most is when she sees the genuine happiness in Jhoanna’s eyes and all she could think of was how she could make her happy like that every time.
— skip
“You have me, whatever it takes, whatever they say.” Jhoanna says, Mikha smiled at her, nervous evident in her face.
“Palagi at pangako” Jhoanna adds, Mikha nodded
“Magsalita ka naman, puro ka ngiti, kilig na kilig ka ba sa akin”
“Ay talagang lalo pa siy—“ Mikha cuts her off when she leaned forward and plants a kiss on Jhoanna’s forehead
“Mahal kita, Jho, Sobra”
“Mahal din kita, Animo La Salle!” Mikha burst out laughing “Love, UP kalaban namin, kayo kalaban namin”
“Alam ko, kaya nga nakabrown ako eh, kasi kapag pinaghalo mo ang green at red, brown ang final product”
“You’re such a weirdo”
“But you love me”
“Yes, I love you, I’ll never get tired of saying that”
“Ako rin, hindi ako mapapagod na ulit-ulitin sa’yo na mahal kita”
—
"What are you wearing? AHAHAHAHAHAH" A stranger greets Jhoanna. It takes a moment, but she eventually recognizes her— Aiah Arceta, her classmate back when she was a freshman before the latter shifted to another course.
"Really? Sino?"
"Jersey 08, Lim"
"Oh, the setter"
"Himala nanood ka, I thought you said before na hindi ka mahilig sa sports"
"Hindi mahilig pero I don't dislike it naman" Aiah says "I was gonna bring my girlfriend nga sana, but something came up so ako nalang raw tumuloy"
—
Mikha breathes heavily, Jhoanna watches her from where she was seated.
She waits for Mikha to look at her side, and when Mikha does Jhoanna nods at her.
“Kaya mo ‘yan”
—
“Sevilleja from the back!”
“La Salle leads by one”
“Serving for La Salle, Mikha Lim”
“Denied by Garcia!”
“Sevilleja saves the ball!”
“Beautiful set by Lim!”
“Colet Vergara sends it home!”
“And that’s it! the Lady Spikers claim back the crown!”
—
Mikha jumped in happiness, and so did Jhoanna. She didn't care if people would find her weird, knowing she's from UP but she's celebrating La Salle's win. To her, Mikha's win is also her win. She will never turn her back from her own team but she can't help but be happy for Mikha as she knew how hard the latter trained for this. She deserved it.
"How do you feel about reclaiming the crown?"
"Of course I feel happy. We worked really hard for this, we had sleepless nights and we poured everything we have for this game. UP sobrang galing niyo, That was a good match. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank the people who had always been there for me, my family, my team, my friends and the love of my life" Mikha paused, she looked around the crowd until she locked eyes with her
"Jho, I love you!"
"I love you too" Jhoanna mouthed and blows a flying kiss. Jhoanna had a huge smile on her face, despite the loss, the UP students around Jhoanna cheered when she was mentioned.
"Sana all"
“Nakakainggit naman"
"Lord me when"
“Gusto ko rin maging UAAP gf"
—
Mikha pushes the door open, Jhoanna following behind her. The loud cheers from their win earlier still rings through Mikha's ears, It was worth it.
She's drained, Mikha felt her legs go numb, they played all sets and she walked around a lot in the after party thanking everyone who congratulated her and the team. and Jhoanna knows that.
"Love, upo ka muna" Jhoanna helps her sit on the couch "Antayin mo ako, may kukunin lang ako" Mikha nodded silently, she heaved a deep sigh as she closes her eyes.
"Here, inom ka" Jhoanna hands her a glass of water "Tell me if it hurts ah" Jhoanna tells her before she gently massages Mikha's feet.
"I'm so tired, I feel like I did ten hikes today" She yawns "But i'm glad you're here, I feel less tired"
"Bolera" Mikha just smiled at her "Pwede shoulders ko rin?" She asks her, cutely, a blush crept at Jhoanna’s face, Mikha rarely acts cute around her and everytime she does Jhoanna couldn’t help but feel her heart race.
Jhoanna places both of her hands on Mikha's shoulders, putting pressure on her muscles. It wasn't long before Mikha fell asleep on their couch. Jhoanna takes the blanket from Mikha's bedroom and covers her with it.
She sat on the floor as she watched her sleep. Jhoanna stared at her, smiling in between, Mikha looked peaceful and angelic when she slept. Jhoanna wants to protect her from everything, from the things that could hurt her.
Jhoanna puts her hand and tucks a strand of Mikha's hair on her ear, "I hope the future would be gentle with us" She says as she plants a soft kiss on her forehead
"I love doing life with you"
—
"Congratulations, Jhoanna" Her former professor says when they bumped into each other in the hallway "Thank you po" She replied
"Anak! Ang galing mo! May Summa Cum Laude na kami!" Jhoanna hears her Dad scream, she covers her face out of embarrassment but she laughed.
"Daddy ang lakas naman, hinaan mo lang konti boses mo" Jhoanna playfully scolds him, he shrugged "Ito na regalo namin sa'yo" Her Dad tells her before stepping aside revealing someone behind him.
Mikha grinned when she saw Jhoanna's shocked face, She brought the bouquet forward "Akala ko nasa Cebu kayo for the team celebrati—" She wasn't able to finish her sentence when Mikha interrupted her "I can't miss out on your graduation. You know I won't let that happen"
"Ever since we got together four years ago, I have always been there at every milestone of your life, and I won't miss one of the most important ones"
"Nakakainis ka, pinapaiyak mo naman ako" Mikha and her parents let out a heartfelt chuckle, Mikha wipes a tear from Jhoanna’s eyes “Iyakin” She teased her.
"I love you, Mikhs"
"I love you too" Jhoanna pulls her into a hug "Promise, in every important milestone of your life, I'll also be there"
—
"Love, Good luck, I know you can do it, si Jhoanna Robles ka, they’re lucky to have you"
"Baka lumaki ulo ko, Love" Jhoanna says as she steps out of Mikha’s car “Don’t forget to eat the lunch I packed” Mikha reminds her, Jhoanna smiles and raises the lunch box so Mikha could see.
“I won’t, Almost three hours ka kayang nasa kitchen for this, Kakainin ko ‘to kahit maalat” She says, a teasing smile forming in her lips, Mikha rolls her eyes “I tasted it, tama lang naman” She retorts
“But, yeah maalat ‘yung first batch, kaya I repeated until I got the perfect taste for it” Mikha adds, admitting that she had failed miserably on the first few tries. It was all worth it in the end, Mikha wanted to make efforts for Jhoanna’s first day.
“I love you! Good luck”
“I love you too. Message me when you get home”
—
Jhoanna finished eating her lunch, she still hasn't received any messages from Mikha. It’s been three hours since they parted ways, her lunch break is ending and she couldn’t get a hold of her.
“Love, nakauwi ka na ba?” She texts her
“Baka nalowbat lang” Jhoanna thought, She scrolled through her facebook to pass time before she got back to work.
"Two-Time UAAP Champion Mikha Lim Involved in Devastating Car Accident"
Jhoanna drops her phone as she reads every word of the article.
Her world was crumbled down into pieces.
—
“Her leg was badly injured, She might have a hard time getting back on track, especially walking”
“She’s an athlete so this news is going to be devastating for her, I hope you can be there for her, She needs you”
—
“Mikhs, Dahan-dahan lang” Jhoanna carefully helps Mikha out of the car. Her hands wrapped around the shorter girl’s waist holding most of her weight
“Sorry, Jho, mabigat ba?”
“Hindi. Huwag ka mag sorry, wala kang kasalanan” Jhoanna reassures her, She helps Mikha settle down on the couch.
“Upo ka muna, kukuha lang ako tubig”
Jhoanna comes back a minute later, a glass of water in her hands.
“Jho, don’t you have work?” Mikha asks, Jhoanna sits beside her “I took a three day leave”
“Hindi ka ba papagalitan? It hasn’t been a month since you started” Mikha was worried, she knew how important it is to show up for work in your first month.
“Love mas lalo akong hindi makakafocus if i’m not here, I want to make sure na okay ka bago ako bumalik” Jhoanna noticed the guilt in Mikha’s face “Mabait ‘yung boss ko Mikhs, She was the one who suggested for me to take a leave muna, stop worrying”
“Thank you, Jho, Mahal kita”
“I love you too, focus muna sa recovery ha”
—
“Jhoanna….” Mikha calls out, almost a whisper. She didn’t want to wake her up but she needed to go to the bathroom, and she needed assistance.
“You must be so tired, I’m sorry” She tucks Jhoanna’s hair behind her ear, admiring the peace in her face while sleeping.
Mikha took a deep breath. She reached for her crutch beside her bed. It was hard but she tried her best to walk on her own.
She had reached the bathroom before she stumbled on the wet floor. She hissed loudly, followed by a muffled scream, her arm hitting the sink causing the glass container for the hand soap to fall.
The noises resulted in Jhoanna jolting awake. She panicked when she couldn’t find Mikha on the bed. She quickly stood up—even half asleep.
“Mikha!” She ran to where Mikha was, her arms bleeding as the glass shards fell right into her. Jhoanna quickly helps her away from the mess, she calls an ambulance. Mikha shuts her eyes tight, enduring the pain in her injured leg and her bleeding arms.
—
“I told you ‘di ba, gisingin mo ako kapag kailangan mo mag banyo!” Jhoanna glared at her, Mikha lies in the hospital bed, guilt consuming her. She avoided looking at Jhoanna.
“Paano kung may nangyari na mas malala pa diyan, you could’ve gotten hurt so badly, hindi pa nga completely na magaling from the accident pasaway ka na” Jhoanna lectured.
“I’m sorry….” Mikha apologizes, “It’s just that…you were tired from work and you were sleeping well. I didn’t want to disturb you,"she added.
Jhoanna sighs “And look what happened, lalo lang mapapagod kasi imbes na pagaling ka na, lumala pa”
Mikha looked at her “Am I too much of a burden to you?” She asked “I didn't mean it that way” Jhoanna replies, calmer than her tone earlier “If it’s too much, you know you can rest right? I can find someone else to take care of me” Mikha tells her
“If pagod ka na, Jho, pahinga ka muna”
—
“Ready?” Mikha nods, “Again. Let’s take it slow, take a few steps” Mikha takes three steps and falls to the ground, her leg shaking.
“It hurts!” Jhoanna rushes to where she was, “Are you alright? Pwede po pahinga muna saglit” Jhoanna tells the therapist, She nods.
“Are you alright?” Jhoanna asks her, Mikha didn’t answer she was catching her breath. “Saglit, kuha lang ako tubi—Mikha!”
—
"Former DLSU Lady Spiker’s Setter Mikha Lim Declines PVL Contract After Severe Leg Injury from Car Accident"
“I love you, Mikhs, Nandito lang ako” She whispers, Mikha did not say a word.
Jhoanna hears her muffled cries, she goes beside Mikha and wraps her arms around her waist.
“It’ll be alright, we will be fine”
“Are we?”
“Better days will come, Mikhs. Nandito lang ako”
—
“Mikhs? Love? Kain na, nagluto ako” Jhoanna opens the door of Mikha’s bedroom. The curtain blinds were closed preventing the sunlight from entering her room. Mikha was curled up with her duck printed comforter.
“Busog pa ako, Jho” Mikha replied, her voice almost inaudible but just enough for Jhoanna to hear. “Love, hindi ka nag dinner kagabi”
“Okay lang ako, Jho, matutulog muna ako”
“Okay” Jhoanna sighs, she knew she couldn’t persuade Mikha no matter what “Nasa sala lang si Ate Rain, Call for her if you need anything, papasok muna ako sa work”
“I love you, Mikhs”
—
“Kamusta Ate? Kumain na ba?” She shakes her head “Hindi lumabas sa kwarto, Natulog lang siya maghapon”
“Sige po Ate, magpahinga ka na muna, ako na bahala rito”
Jhoanna makes her way to Mikha’s bedroom, taking light steps so she won’t make any noise.
Before Jhoanna could open the door, Mikha beats her to it “Jho, sorry” She says, burying her face on the crook of Jhoanna’s neck.
“Sorry, I’m stubborn, I’m just having a hard time processing things” Mikha apologized
“I’m sorry, I might’ve tried pushing you away.”
“Naiintindihan kita, Ayos lang”
—
Jhoanna thought everything was going to go back to normal, she was wrong, there was a growing distance between them.
She had just gotten promoted and was offered a spot in TV Patrol. She wants to celebrate and tell Mikha about it.
But she’s hesitant, Jhoanna was afraid that Mikha’s still hurting to be able to celebrate her win. She was afraid that Mikha wouldn’t be enthusiastic to know about those, she was afraid she would have her heart broken.
—
“It’s final, Mikha, you are coming back to LA to get better treatment” Mikha’s mom says from the other line. “Mom, I can’t leave Jho” She opposed. “You know she’s a huge part of my life”
“And how are you going to improve? I thought you wanted to fully recover?”
“Mom, I can’t leave, I may have been neglecting Jhoanna for the last few months, I want to make everything right and apologize to her”
“Then bring her with you. You can do that here, I will not let you stay there any more. You’ll be better off here. Mikhaella, You follow what I say or i’ll have you dragged back here in LA”
Her mom ends the call, Mikha wasn’t able to argue back.
—
The sound of the door closing made Mikha turn her attention away from her laptop, Jhoanna removed her shoes quietly, Mikha watched.
“Jhoanna” The latter was about to enter the room when Mikha called out to her. Jhoanna takes her hand away from the room’s doorknob.
“Can we talk?” Jhoanna sensed an unearthing feeling from Mikha’s tone, Jhoanna nodded. Although Mikha could walk, she’s still wobbly and careful. She needs a single cane most of the time. Almost half a year since the accident, the damage is still distinct.
“My mom, she called,” Mikha started, “She wants me to go back to LA to get better treatment” Jhoanna breathed, Mikha couldn’t comprehend the expressions displayed in her face.
“So you’re leaving?” Jhoanna asks, her eyes glistening with something Mikha couldn’t read—Sadness? Disappointment? Pain? Nevertheless, Mikha nodded.
“Are we breaking up?” Jhoanna murmured, almost inaudible “You can come with me” Mikha says as she grabs her wrist, her voice trembling “Jho, come with me, I’ll marry you and I’ll give you the life that you deserve” Her grip tightened.
“Mikhs….I just got promoted and I was offered a spot in TV Patrol” Jhoanna says, Mikha went silent.
“Mikhs I—“ Mikha falls to her knees “Jho…” She begs, “I know this is too much, I know I've been distant and messy the last few months, I hurt you, I’m sorry, I will do better, Jho. I know this is stupid for me to ask knowing how much you’ve dreamed of it”
“Jho…Kailangan kita” Mikha holds her hand, “Come with me, Ibibigay ko lahat sa’yo, Jho. I know I might be evil to go against your dreams” She paused “But I don’t know how to live a life without you, Jho”
“Don’t you want a life with me?” Mikha pleaded “I want a life for myself too” Jhoanna says
Mikha takes a deep breath, silence engulfed the both of them.
“Jho, You said you love me right?”
“Mikha, Ayoko na”
— eight years later
What Could’ve Been…
Jhoanna's
I went to New Zealand for a vacation, and I had always loved visiting churches. I didn’t expect I would accidentally see you after eight whole years.
I promised you, I will also be there in every milestone of your life. Maybe God wanted me to fulfill that promise.
Because I was there coincidentally at possibly the most important milestone of your life.
The smile on your face was genuine, and you looked happier with her than you were with me.
You’ve changed a lot since the last time we were together, you smile a lot more, you’ve made a lot of friends, you became more sociable—far from the Mikha I loved. You became a better version of yourself, the one you’ve always wanted to be.
The Mikha I loved was shy but approachable, she’s quiet but she smiles often. That version of you will always be something only I can hold onto, It will remain as mine. But in the back of my mind, I knew that even a little bit—I hope you never changed, so the essence of you, the version of you I wished I could’ve loved, would never be someone else's.
I do not miss you when I'm lonely or sad. I miss you when I'm happy, or when I achieve something and I realize you weren’t there to cheer me on.
That night, I was afraid, I was scared because I realized how you would give everything to me and I couldn’t give up one thing for you.
I had to choose between my dreams and you. I had to choose between the life I want for myself and the life I want with you. I had dreams and it was in the palm of my hands, I couldn’t let it go.
It’s not that I didn’t want a life with you, I love doing life with you. But I had dreams, and I didn’t want to lose that too.
I never regretted how I loved you at 18 and the years after that. The memories we’ve made are something I'd always look back to. I’m living the life I wanted for myself, but I wouldn’t deny, the life we could’ve had did cross my mind every once in a while. I wish you nothing but happiness and peace, and I hope, in time, I could forgive myself for not choosing a life with you.
END.