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Chapter Text

Strength. 

That was all that was respected in this world. The power to control others was everything. Hinata came from one of the most powerful clans and yet she had none of the power necessary to establish herself as a proper heir should. 

She had the looks, the eyes, the pedigree and yet everyone in her house looked at her with scorn. From Main to Branch Houses they looked at her with eyes that judged everything about her. Lacking in nothing but the power to make them look away. 

There had been a time when things had been different. When her mother was alive. When her father still looked at her with some modicum of affection. Hinata’s life, the joy and happiness of it all was leached away from her in a series of small cuts. One by one, day by day, the warmth and affection that she enjoyed dried up and Hinata was tossed into the cold world of politics and disdain.

Hinata did not lack anything but the attitude to wield her power, to change the world. And she lacked the drive to enact the changes that she wanted to see in the world. And that's why she was powerless. That is why everyone in the clan house looked at her as though she was worth nothing more than the scum scraped off the bottom of their shoes. 

Maybe that was why she did not put up much of a fight when the Cloud Shinobi had kidnapped her. Would life change for her if she was out of that home? Probably not. Still she would be seen as powerless and be treated as though she could do nothing in this world. But maybe they would look at her with less disdain. 

Wrapped in rope as she was, there was nothing that she could do. She was so much smaller, so much weaker than these battle hardened men who had planned this. They had been trained for this. The least that she could do was not fight back. Hinata lay limp against the arm of the man, sagged against his back and just waited. For everything to reach its natural conclusion. 

Bitter tears rose in her eyes and Hinata could not help but marvel at her own weakness, her own apathy at her own life. When had she become like this? Why had she become like this? Was her life worth so little that she thought that nothing good could come to her? 

She looked to the moon, bright and high in the sky. It was not star. It would not grant her any wishes, but still she prayed in her heart for something, someone, anything… power. It was all she desired. She wanted power. 

Hinata did not want the coldness of the power of the Hyuga clan. She did not want the brutal power of the Cloud ninja that were taking her. She wanted her own power, something soft and yet strong like her mother had been before her passing. Looking at the moon, Hinata could feel nothing but the shoulder in her stomach that jostled with every movement they made away from her home. 

The moon pulsed. And Hinata’s eyes widened. It moved but for a moment but she saw it. She pushed chakra to her eyes and watched as something sped toward them. It was fast. In one move, a black rod zoomed from the darkness and impaled the man holding her. 

He gasped. The ninja looked down at the rod in his chest and looked up to see someone standing in the air above them. They were pale, their eyes bright and intense with the bakugan. White hair cascaded down their back. Wearing white robes that danced in the wind and shinobi sandals the man before her looked ethereal and untouchable. 

Hinata stared at the man in wide eyed amazement before the Cloud shinobi fell to their knees gasping and panting. The man descended from the sky without a stand, without a word. He grabbed Hinata and placed her on her on two feet before he turned to face the Cloud shinobi again.

“How dare you touch our Byakugan princess,” he said, his voice resonant and pleasing. He pulled the rod out of the back of the man. It made a sickening squelching sound. Something that Hinata cringed at the longer she thought about it. “And for this you will pay with your life.” 

“Kill me and you invite the wrath of the Cloud Village, Hyuga!” the shinobi spat. The man hummed deep in his chest. 

“I am not bound by your earthly politics.” And then he sliced off the Cloud shinobi’s head. It was quick it was fast and Hinata touched the spot of blood that had splashed along her cheek. Hinata knew that this was the logical conclusion of what needed to happen. She knew this and yet… she felt sadness. Death was always sad. 

The man turned to her and began to unwrap her bindings, humming as he did so. When Hinata was finally free she rubbed at her wrists and arms attempting to regain feeling. The man’s eyes relaxed, the thick pulsating veins of the Byakugan retreated and just the eyes, like pearls remained. Hinata stared at him. 

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Byakugan princess. I am Ashigiri Otsutsuki,” he said. Hinata stared at him, wide eyes but he said nothing just gathered her in his arms. 

How long had it been since she was last held by someone with something nearing tenderness? Hinata folded into him without thinking. This man was not one that would harm her. Why would he save her if his intention was to hurt her? Ashigiri walked slowly through the town walking Hinata back to her home.

“I have watched you, Hinata. I have watched you for so long and I have watched as your clan has hindered your growth at every turn and I am here to make sure that they do that no longer,” Ashigiri said. His voice was low as he walked Hinata back to her family house. 

The Hyuga were already awake and alert. Their eyes scanned the skyline and people were jumping into trees and Ashigiri walked past them. Their Byakugans were useless as though there was nothing to be seen, as though their heiress, Hinata, was not in the arms of a man. 

Her mouth was wide as she watched Ashigiri walk to the room where her father and the elders stood. Each one of them were debating on where Hinata could be and where the Cloud nin could have taken her. In a matter of moments, Ashigiri stood before them and they all turned to see Hinata gathered in his arms. 

Hiashi, Hinata’s father, was up first and without thought grabbed her from Ashigiri’s arms. She fell into the warm embrace of her father, but his eyes were not trained on Hinata, but on the man who saved her. 

“Who are you and how have you come to be here?” Hiashi’s eyes bulged out, the veins of his Byakugan engorged with blood and chakra. 

“Papa, he saved me,” Hinata said, her voice high with anxiety. She did not wish for the man to come to harm and she knew her father could harm the man. Hinata gripped the shirt of her father and shook it in her small hands. “He helped me.” 

The veins and Byakugan of Ashigiri flared to life and he allowed his chakra to permeate the space. The sense was of a vast ocean sweeping over them. The power was something that Hinata had never felt before. The power of her father was nothing compared to this. Hinata shrunk back, away from the man that once saved her. 

“I come bearing gifts,” Ashigiri said as he drew back his power and his Byakugan was released. “I come with an offer.” He settled himself down on the ground, his feet crossed a clear message that he would not be sitting in the fashion that would numb his legs. He did not trust them and they would not trust him. 

Hiashi settled down and sat Hinata down at his side. The elders were fanned out around him waiting to hear this offer. Hinata was curious too. He had claimed that he was here to help her, that he wanted to make sure that the elders could no longer hinder her. 

“I am Ashigiri Otsutsuki and I want to train Hinata alongside my son. As you can see I have the Byakugan so I will be able to instruct Hinata properly in its usage.” 

The Elders murmured behind her and she looked behind her. 

“How have you come to have the Byakugan?” one of the elders asked. 

“I was born with it just as you were,” Ashigiri said. 

More words were traded talking quick about his credentials and how he had the Byakugan. Hinata tried to follow it all, but she could hardly keep up. It had been a long day and she was tired. She had been woken from her sleep with a kidnapping and now all this…

Her eyes pressed lower and lower and Hinata could feel herself slipping into the void of sleep. With one final blink, she closed her eyes.

Chapter Text

There was a loud rumbling and then a crash. A bright light flashed and my eyes popped open. The hair hit the window in sheets of rain and I shivered as another roll of thunder resounded in the night sky. I looked around my small room. It was the same as it always was. There was my fluffy and soft futon that I was laying on, my collection of stuffed animals, the dresser and closet and the collection of photos of myself and my family. 

Everything was normal. Everything was in its place. My eyes lowered and I was lulled by the thought that I had some time before the members of the branch family came and woke me. I laid down on my bed and thought about the dream that I had the night before. 

The Cloud ninja that had taken me. I could still feel the press of the man’s shoulder in my stomach, the burn of the ropes as they cut the blood from reaching my hands making them tingle. Everything had felt so real and true as though I had lived it. 

Behind my closed lids, I could have sworn that the dream that I had was real. Almost as real as the man from the moon that had saved me. The pitter patter of rain drumming against the window soothed me and my eyes stayed closed for a moment. 

I thought of the man, Ashigiri and his pale skin and white hair. I remembered the feeling of him cradling me in his arms as he took me back. I reached up, my own arms wrapping around me in some attempt to recreate the feeling of the man carrying me. 

My eyes shot open and I sat up in my bed, my arms still wrapped around me. I could feel it then, the vast amount of chakra that the man possessed lingering in front of my door. Last night was no dream. I was kidnapped and that man, Ashigiri, had brought me back. 

He said something about the fact that the clan elders were holding me back. The very thought made me want to laugh. The elders were the standard, they were the expectation of what a Hyuga should be. 

I could remember my very first impressions of them. They were strong and powerful, despite their age there was a wealth of chakra inside all of them. Far stronger than anything I would have when I was their age. But then I thought of that man, Ashigiri’s chakra, and how if my was a puddle of chakra the Elder’s were a lake and Ashigiri’s was a vast ocean with no end. 

And that chakra signature was standing beyond the door to my room. I used my Byakugan and saw the glow of chakra. He was just standing behind the door, waiting. For what I could not tell. I was curious though and so I rose from my bed and walked over to the door. With some caution, I pulled the door open and peered outside. 

Ashigiri was standing there, his pale skin and white hair bright in the greys and beiges of the hall. When my eyes linked with his, a smile broke across his face. He was taller than I had ever thought. He was even taller than father. His teeth was white against the paleness of his skin, lending his flesh a slight pink color. 

Did this man ever go out into the sun? Why was his skin so colorless? I feel a tremble coming on inside of me. This man with his vast power was looking at me. And he wanted to train me, he wanted something from me. 

I already knew that he was going to be disappointed. My father was already showing disappointment in my progress and the Elders were speaking about how I was “under achieving” and how to correct it. Just at the sound of their correction I felt dread slither up underneath my skin. I shivered. I saw how the Elders like to correct Main members with harsh words and threats. I did not want to be the next target. 

Already I could imagine the disappointment that I would bestow on Ashigiri. He was looking at me with eyes bright. He did not know that I did not have any potential. That I was nothing more than a failure. Nothing more than a shambling mess of unrealized dreams and loose change that would never amount to much. 

Ashigiri stepped to the side, sweeping his hand outward, inviting me outside. I knew that I should not step out. It was improper for anyone to see a woman in her night clothes but this man was powerful and I could not help but want to know more about him. He was new and shiny and for now I wanted to know more. 

I slipped out from my room, the wood flooring stark and cold against my bare feet. Zinging shocks raced up from my feet to my head, but I steadied my breathing and looked up to Ashigiri. He smiled and then offered me his hand. 

“Let’s go for a walk around the estate,” he said, his voice still melodic. I nodded my head and took his hand. He walked around the estate as though he already knew the layout of the place. There was a confidence inside of him, around him, that I envied. It was because he had strength, he was powerful that he could walk with such ease. 

I could not. My head was tucked in and I was looking at my feet the whole time that we walked. I thought of Naruto, the boisterous boy that tried to defend me from the bullies. He had that confidence, the brashness to stare at those that were more powerful and demand something from them. I wanted to be like that. I wanted to be able to look into the eyes of people and not stutter, but that was just not who I was. It was not what I was made for. 

Ashigiri stopped in a sitting room. The tatami mats were warm when we walked into the room and he opened the shoji doors. Rain pattered down and I sat down in a seiza. Ashigiri did not. He leaned against one of the shoji doors forgoing sitting on one of the cushions and looked over his shoulder out into the wet garden before us. 

I waited for him to speak and my hands came together. I twisted my fingers, knotting and tangling them to relieve some of the tension in the room. I did not know why he brought me out. But the kindness would not last. It never lasted. Once they saw what I was, what I could do, the disappointment would come and the kindness would dry up. It was inevitable because that is who I am. Who I will forever be. 

The knotting of my hands does nothing to release the tension stirring in my gut. I could feel the tension growing in the room, swelling to the point that I felt it almost as a physical weight on my back. 

“I… Thank you so much for helping me last night,” I said. I bent down, my head pressed against the ground. 

The silence did not lift. The longer that the silence lasted, the more powerful I felt the weight of the tension. When I could take it no longer I raised my head and found Ashigiri looking at me as though I could not be anymore foolish. I felt heat burn my cheeks and I rose from my bow and tilted my head. 

What was I doing wrong? Why had he not said something? Words and apologies got stuck in my throat and my heart pounded in my ears. What could I say to fix this, to change that look into something nice? My mind was churning, coming up with scenarios and dashing them against the harsh rocks of reality. 

The longer that we sat there looking at one another the more I felt as though there was nothing I could do to salvage the situation. I did not know how to fix anything. I could do nothing right. Not even apologize. I lowered my head, tucking it close to my chest. 

Ashigiri made no movements. There was not even the whisper of cloth moving. I sat there, mulling over my own ineptitude. 

“You should never bow your head, Byakugan princess.” 

I looked up. My eyes locked on Ashigiri who looked at me no longer with that look of surprise but pity. It felt even worse than the look he had given me before. I felt the heat rush once again to my face and my eyes skittered downwards to my hands. My hands were safe, they were neutral and they would not pity me. 

“I’m sorry,” I said. 

“And you should not apologize when you have done nothing wrong,” he continued. There was the quiet shushing of cloth. Movement was occurring and my eyes screwed tight. I did not know what was going to happen, but my muscles tightened waiting for impact. 

Quiet hands lifted from the ground. My eyes popped open. Ashigiri was cradling me in his arms and walked back to his seat by the doors. He settled with me in his lap. His body was warm though his clothing and I shifted though I stopped. How did he want me to sit? How was I supposed to sit.

I did not know the last time someone had settled me in their lap. Had it been my father? My uncle? When had been the last time that affection like this had been bestowed upon me? I just sit with my knees to my chest and wait. Ashigiri looked out the doors once more toward the rain and breathed. 

Every intake of breath expanded his chest, bringing me closer to him. Every exhale was a relief for me. I did not know how to handle this situation. A pat. A hand settled on top of my straight hair and he looked down at me. 

“Do you know who you are?” Ashigiri said. His voice was softer, more quiet. The question confused me. 

I was Hinata Hyuga, the heiress to the Hyuga clan, though how long that would last was to be seen. I was just Hinata, the girl who was disappointing. I shrugged my shoulders, brought closer to him with another intake of breath. 

“I’m just me,” I said. I was nothing more and nothing less. I was simply who I was and that was not enough. 

Ashigiri shook his head, his white hair falling in front of his shoulders. “You are the dreams of generations of men and women come together. You are a future realized, my Byakugan princess.” 

The dreams of men and women. They would be sorely disappointed to see me, to see who I was. A finger pressed against my forehead. I looked up to see Ashigiri pressing a finger to my forehead, a sad sort of smile on his lips. He shook his head once more. 

“The Elders and your father had taught you that you are not worth much. That you’re only worth comes from what you cannot do. Hinata, I am here to tell you that they were wrong. You can do everything and I will train you to see that.” 

Me? I was tempted to laugh, but there was a seriousness to his face that sobered me. I could not do the very basics and somehow I was expected to do more than that? I could feel it as I always did, the mounting pressure behind my eyes, the beat of my heart. 

Expectations. Those damning things that people place upon me. I could never live up to their expectations. And now there were more, more ways for me to disappoint. But there was nothing I could do about other people’s thoughts about me. 

This was just a new way to disappoint a new person.

I huddled closer into myself and felt my eyes sting with tears. It just wasn’t fair. Ashigiri was so nice and here he was disappointed in me already. But then arms wrapped around my body, hands reached around her and pulled me into the warmth of his chest. 

I wanted to gasp, but I stifled it to see what would happen next. This was all so new for me and Ashigiri was someone that I wanted to like, wanted to like me. He was warm and smelled like lotus blossoms. His hair tickled my cheek and nose as my face was pressed into his chest. 

“I know what this may seem like to you. That I would be nothing more but another adult that is heaping their wants and desires on to you, but I assure you that this could be the farthest thing from the truth. You are special, Byakugan princess. You have a destiny that is far greater than you think.” He pulled away from me then and looked me in the eye. His eye was pearl like with a hint of pink like mine had lavender. 

“You will be amazing and through understanding the world and yourself you will become great. I will make sure of it.” 

“Why do you call me Byakugan princess?” I asked. He had been calling me that since the moment we met. I had been called princess before, though more derogatorily by the branch members of the family, but he said it in a special way. As though he truly believed me to be a princess. 

“Because that is what you are. That is how Homura, the leader of our clan referred to you as,” Ashigiri said. 

“He spoke about me?” The thought of some man that I have never met speaking about me made me feel… I am not sure how I felt. But it appeared that he spoke about me well. He liked me enough, I think, to call me a princess. “He called me a princess?” 

“He called you many things, but princess was chief among them,” Ashigiri said with a chuckle that rumbled through his chest and by extension through me. I leaned away from his chest and looked up to his face. He was smiling, his eyes soft, the curve of his chin sharp. “You will make great friends with my son who you will be training with.” 

“Training?” The very thought made my stomach tie into knots. I know the basics of the gentle fist but there were many corrections I needed to make. The thought of Ashigiri seeing me in such an unsightly fashion made something ring in my head. He could not see me like that. Failing at the technique that every Hyuga just seemed to get. “I’m… I’m not very good at that.” 

Ashigiri shook his head, sending hair to tickle my cheeks once more. “You are not good with this earthly version of fighting, but what I am going to teach you comes from a place beyond Earth.” 

I remembered then I stared at the moon and I wished for power. And the moon responded to my wish by sending me Ashigiri. I had wished for power hadn’t I? I had wished for the power to change. 

My arm stretched out and I stared at the peachy color of my skin. A place beyond Earth? That explains why there were so many things different about this man. It explained why he had such pale skin and a power vast and unfathomable. My hands are grasped by his and I am amazed once more by how big adults are. So much bigger and stronger. So much more powerful than I was at this moment. 

“No one is good at training,” Ashigiri said, his hand plucking my fingers up and out, spreading them against his hand as though he was measuring the length of them. “You have not been trained in a fashion that suits your needs. My son and I have been watching you and we see now that the Hyuga clan is not… as adaptable as you are.” 

“Adaptable?” The word is clunky in my mouth as my mouth curves to take its shape. That has never been a word that has described me. I am not even sure what it means. But it sounds… nice, I suppose. 

“Yes. The Hyuga style is made for stability, feet planted firmly and hands placed just so. You my dear are not made for something like that. With your natural flexibility something more… serpentine would suit your skill set better.” 

I was flexible? I could squeeze into pretty tight spaces when I played hide and seek with the other kids, but I would not say that it was a skill that needed to be honed. It was just something that I was okay at. I open my mouth ready to retort, but he places a hand over my mouth. 

His smile feels bitter and sad when I look at it. “We will need to work on your confidence also. The Hyuga have truly made their mark on you have they not?” 

He said this as though I was apart from the Hyuga, something distinct and different from my family. And maybe I was, in a way, there always seemed to be some kind of wall barring me from being part of them. 

But that was the strength wasn’t it. It was the gap of power between myself and them that kept me from joining them. I thought back to the night, the moon, and how I prayed for something to change me and make me powerful. 

If I was powerful then I would have been able to fight the Cloud shinobi; if I was powerful then I would have the adoration of my family, my friends. Understanding that it was power that barred me from enjoying the life I wanted. 

“I can train,” I said. My voice was still soft, almost shy when I said it. Ashigiri nodded his head. 

“Good and you will meet my son Toneri. The two of you will get along swimmingly.” 

My cheeks flushed at the mention of another person. A boy, a friend, someone to train and grow with. I wanted to smile at the thought. Hanabi was still too little to train and Neji was so far ahead that it didn’t make sense for the two of us to train together. But Toneri would be a friend, a peer, something that I had never had before. 

The thought of a friend made my insides warm and giddy with energy. A friend! 

“What is he like?” I asked. 

“He is a selfish brat,” Ashigiri said, but he said it in that warm way that parents spoke about their children. There was a smile on his face, something soft and sweet. I could tell from the warmth in his eyes that he loved his son dearly. “He is a little head strong and over-confident but he is a good boy.” 

I smiled. He sounded nice. It would be nice to talk to someone. A friend… once more the word warmed me inside. 

“I can’t wait to meet him,” I said. And it was true. 

We sat there and the silence, for once, was not oppressive. It did not make my chest feel tight or make the hair on my arms rise up. It was just nice. I watched as the rain came down. The rain came down in fat drops that slapped down on the stone garden that we were looking at. The stone were arranged in a spiral formation, smooth white and black stones spiraling out from a large smooth boulder in the center of the garden. 

I had seen this garden my whole life and yet when I think about the garden now, I am struck with how peaceful it was. How soft and lush it felt despite the rigidity of the materials. It was the last moment where I felt my mother’s presence in the world. I think it was her last goodbye. 

Feet pattered on the wood flooring of the hall. Feet moving quickly in rising thumps as they neared us. I did not move fully expecting the person, whoever they were, to bypass it. It was obviously important. No one truly ran in the Hyuga house. The most people would do is speed walk. 

But the feet stopped in front of us. A Branch member’s eyes whizzed around the room, but landed on us, tucked into a corner. The Branch member fell to their knees, head brushing the floor in a saikeirei. 

“There is news from the Cloud Village that you must hear, Master Otsutsuki. It pertains to the kidnapping,” the Branch member said. I stiffened in his arms, but Ashigiri sighed. He rose with me in his arms and at first I thought I was going with him. He then placed me on my feet. 

Ah, this was adult stuff. 

I did not bother to imagine what they would be talking about. I would probably fall asleep like I did the night before. But still I was curious since it had something to do with me. I shifted, uncomfortable with the thought of causing problems, but Ashigiri smiled at me and patted my head. 

“I will return, little one,” he said. The Branch member rose from the deep bow and the two left the room. I stood there as though waiting for something to happen to me. I shook my head and decided that visiting Hanabi would be a better use of my time. 

Chapter Text

There was light in my face. The light was hot, heating up the skin of my face. But the skin on my face felt tight and a little bit sticky. Like when I got sunburned one time and my mother slathered on some sunscreen. My eyes fluttered, but something felt off. They ached, my eyes, as though something had happened to them, but for the life of me I could not remember what it was. 

I rolled over on my bed, a hand slipped out from under the covers and dangled in the air. Dangled? I slept on a futon and that was right on the floor. I opened my eyes despite the persistent aching behind them. I was on a cot with my arm hanging up off the ground. My eyes shifted, but they hurt with the movement. 

Groaning, I lean back on the cot and look around the space. I am in the sick room where they tend to the sick Hyugas. We had a sick room for the infirmed. Most minor illnesses and injuries were handled here. Anything major would have to be dealt with at the hospital. Hyugas were insular in that we did not want others to use us as lab rats or harvest our eyes. 

I shifted a little bit on the cot. I wonder what happened and when it was that I fell asleep. I recounted the day before. I went to go and see Hanabi. We played together and enjoyed one another’s company. Then I was called before the Elders. They gave me something telling me to drink it. I drank it and then I fell asleep. 

My dreams were nothing more than a flash of colors in my mind. I could remember voices somewhere in the middling distance. I could remember the face of someone, many someones and them reaching for me. But my dreams ended there. There was nothing else for me to grasp at. 

I roll over onto my stomach and stretch my hands out in front of me. Vertebrae in my spine crack, the tension in my back melting away. How long have I been in the sick room? Did I faint? Maybe that would explain the throbbing behind my eyes and the lack of memory. But nothing that Hanabi did could have warranted such a reaction from me. I shake my head. Maybe I am just as bad as they say. 

The light flitting through the windows of the sick room is grey meaning that it is sometime before dawn. Long before the time in which I usually woke up. I shifted and turned my head since moving my eyes was something that was out of the question. The sick room was nothing more than a wooden cottage with cots and a desk where the resident healer was supposed to be staying. There was no one there now. Windows were hung behind every cot as the Hyuga were very big on the belief that the natural world was healing and sunlight assisted in the process. 

I got on my knees and turned to face the window. I was too small to see out the window on my own. My hands fastened on the ledge of the windowsill and with strength I did not know I possessed I lifted myself up. My chin grazed the windowsill and it took all my strength to hold the form, but I was able to see out the window. 

No one was in the garden. Trees, old and wizened, rose up, shadowing the sick room. I turned my head leaned forward, but the pressure and strength in my hands failed and I was sent careening downward back onto the cot. I landed with a soft “ooph” and I stared at the ceiling for a moment. 

No one was there. Did that mean I could leave? They put me here for a reason and the state of my eyes meant that there was something wrong with me. What if I was contagious? I would not want to bring whatever was wrong with me to my sister and father. Brother Neji too. 

My eyes darted over to the desk. Then I closed them because of the aching behind them. No, too soon to do that. The doctor for the sick room was not there. Maybe they had gone to lunch. But usually there was someone there, there was someone waiting for the sick people to wake up and care for them. My heart sank in my chest. Was I not worth waiting for? 

I shook my head again. No, they were probably at lunch or something. Who knew how long I was asleep and they probably got hungry. I rose from the bed. There was a shock of cold as my feet landed on the cool wooden floor. I walked over to the door and opened it. 

The scent of morning dew and flowers wafted over to me. There was a slight chill in the air and I was dressed loosely in a white dressing gown. I wrapped my arms around myself and made my way forward. The house was silent when I entered. I could not hear the bustle of the Branch family members, nor the chatter of the house. Everything was silent and still, as though it was waiting for something to happen. 

I walked through the house, turning my head to see into each and every room. No one. There was no way. My anxiety ratcheted up, the thought that I was alone in such a huge place made my throat feel like it was about to close. Why did everyone go? 

I heard murmuring from one room. Eager to hear the voices, I rushed over to see the people. I swung open the door and sitting there was one of the Elders and the whole of the Branch members. They were all seated, listening as the Elder spoke, though he stopped when I opened the door. 

The Branch members turned and when they saw me, they all recoiled as though I had done something abhorrent. I looked at them all and every time my eyes met theirs the Branch member flinched. I walked forward, trying to meet the eye of someone. When I reached the front of the crowd, I looked up to the Elder who was staring at me as though I was some kind of side show project. Immediately, my hands began to twist and knot, I knew something was wrong with me but I didn’t know what. 

“Hello, Elder Hatayashi… Can you please tell me what is going on?” I fumbled over my words but the question came out clear. I looked up and when the Elder met my eye they smiled, big and brilliant. I had never had an Elder smile at me and despite the way that my stomach was twisting my lips curled up into a returning grin. 

“This is something that your father should tell you about,” Elder Hatayashi said and nodded their head. “Come child. I will take you to him.” The old man turned and walked from the room. Elders did not tell you to follow them. You were just expected to know what to do. So I trailed after him. I spared a glance once more to the Branch members but they all flinched as though I had slapped all of them at once. 

My head turned back to the back of the Elder. They were speaking. I should probably listen. 

“You have been the recipient of something amazing. Something that will bring the Hyugan clan to new heights. You are going to be so much better than you were before, Hinata. Once everything will be explained, you will be grateful for the opportunity that has been bestowed upon you.” 

Opportunity? What was going on? Were they talking about the fact that Ashigiri was going to be training me? But then they were the Branch members looking at me as though there was something wrong with me? Nothing was making sense anymore. I was confused and I really wanted someone to explain what was going on. 

I wanted an answer and when I saw the door to my father’s office I felt my relief swept through me. Finally I was going to get some answers. I raced past the Elder, forgetting my manners, and pushed the door open to my father’s office. He was seated behind his desk and Ashigiri was standing there too. I sighed when I saw the two of them with my own two eyes. 

Ashigiri stood up from the chair he was sitting in. I barely had a moment to breathe before he was in my face. He gripped my chin, tilted her head this way and then the other way. My eyes widened. No one had handled me like this in a while, but I did not know what to expect. 

“Hmm, seems like the eyes are settling in well. The transplant was a success,” Ashigiri said as he held my chin. Transplant? 

Father came out from around the desk and looked me in the face. “I have never seen something so… You were right that that transplant would unlock the Tenseigan, but I did not believe you.” 

“Now you are assured of my good will?” Ashigiri said with a derisive snort. “Not the fact that I saved your daughter the first night I met her.” 

“The world is filled with bad actors. I did not know if you were just another plot from the Cloud Village.” 

“I do not meddle in Earthly politics.” 

“So you say.” 

I fidgeted in my spot. My head twisted out of his grip and I held the hospital gown I was wearing in my hands. Their words were making no sense to me and the previous comfort that I felt at the sight of my father had vanished. What was going on? I needed answers. 

I opened my mouth and spoke, “What is going on Father? Why did I wake up in the sick room?” 

My father looked at me. It was not with his usual disdain, but there was something calculated in the way that he was looking at me. It was the look that he gave when he was weighing something, considering his options. I didn’t like the look. He had never looked at me like that before. I was always a disappoint. There were no options for me. But something had changed and I didn’t know what it was.

“Come and sit Hinata.” My father made his way to his desk and sat behind it once more. He settled in resting his hand against the armrests. I looked to Ashigiri who let go of my face and sat in front of the desk once more. Leaving just the chair next to him to take. I turned around and looked behind me at Elder Hatayashi whose smile was so big that it near stretched out off her face. I shuddered at the thought. 

The elder closed the door and I stumbled over to the seat. Sitting down, I was struck by how small I was. My father and Ashigiri were so big and strong. They towered over me and the chair, with all the space that I had, recounted that fact to me. I was small and they could do whatever they pleased with me. 

I looked around, making sure to move my head and not my eyes. My fingers fumbled over one another and my father’s eyes were drawn to the action. His face tightened and he opened his mouth, probably to reprimand me, but then Ashigiri coughed. The two adults shared a look and something passed between them, something about me I knew, and my father closed his mouth. 

Ashigiri turned toward me then his eyes bright. “You Hinata has gotten a very good procedure done on your eyes. Something that will make you more powerful and help you in your training.” 

A hand reached up and tapped my eye. A wave of achiness pulsed through me. I knew something had been done to my eyes and now I was finally learning. The word that he had used before popped into my mind. 

“Transplant… You said the word transplant,” I said. I had an inkling of what the word meant. I knew that it was a medical procedure, but the process, the meaning of the word eluded me. I just knew that it had been done to me. “What is that?” 

“We took the eyes from someone else, someone dead, and we placed them in your head. That is what a transplant is,” my father said. 

I snapped my head around to look at him and widened my eyes — no someone else’s eyes — to look at my father. These were not my eyes. These were not my eyes . I felt sick to my stomach with the thought of someone else’s eyes rolling around in my head. 

My breathing came out in gentle pants as the anxiety and terror ratcheted up inside of me. I wanted nothing more than to rip the eyes from my head.I placed a hand over not my eye. Ashigiri shook his head and threw a sharp look at my father before he turned my chair to face him. 

“We did it because we wanted to unlock something inside of you, a power and it was successful,” Ashigiri said. I felt my stomach flop around in my chest. What power? Why would they do this? Without asking me? I felt as though I was going to vomit. 

Ashigiri said nothing else, just grabbed a small hand mirror on the desk and presented it for me to look at. I peered inside and gasped. My eyes were no longer the pale pupil-less lavender that I was used to seeing. No by eye was a light blue with a white flower iris. My pupil was a darker shade of blue from the iris but these were not my eyes. 

As I stared at myself I reached forward a hand and touched the mirror. It was me as the reflection in the mirror clearly showed. I wanted to scream but it was trapped inside of me bouncing around my organs and just making me feel sick. 

I look to my father, but he said nothing his face a stonewall as he watched me. Measured me. I wanted to scream and cry out, but I felt nothing but churning and screaming inside of me. I look up at Ashigiri and he is smiling down at me as though I should be grateful for what they have done to me. 

“This,” Ashigiri stated, “is the Tenseigan. The next step in evolution for the Byakugan. With these eyes you will gain access to a whole host of abilities that I will be training you in how to use.” 

“Otsutsuki was kind enough to tell us of the next stage of the Byakugan and bestow it upon you. You will rise above the rest of your peers when it comes to the practical application of chakra with this,” Hiashi said. 

I wanted to gag. They had done a transplant on me without my permission. They had taken my eyes . And all they could talk about what was a good ninja I would become. I looked at Ashigiri who was smiling at me and nodding along to whatever my father said. 

I trusted him and he was the one that placed me on the chopping block. Revulsion deep and rolling pushed through me and then it just collapsed under its own weight. There was no point in getting angry. There was no point because these men were stronger than me. They had more power than me. 

But this Tenseigan from whoever’s eyes they came from would give me power. Something stilled inside of me. Every thought and muscle was locked into place. I had always been the butt of the joke. And I thought with Ashigiri, he at the very least would protect me. But he had done this. The world respected power and Ashigiri had placed in my hands power. 

I stared into the mirror, watching the white flower design around my pupils. If power was something that people respected, if strength was all there was in this world, then I would simply have to become powerful. I would have to become flexible and adaptable so that no one would violate me like this again. 

A smile, fragile in its construction, settled on my face. I turned to Ashigiri and my father and smiled. I thanked them for the opportunity and bent at the waist in a deep bow. Ashigiri’s smile grew larger and my father seemed pleased with the performance. I asked to be excused to my room and I took my leave. 

I walked through the house and I could hear them. The whispers of how they did something to my eyes. They did something to me. Shame and revulsion followed my every step. I wanted to shout that I did not ask for this. I did not ask to have my very body altered and my eyes stolen from me. But there was nothing I could do, nothing I could say. 

Pausing, I watched as Neji stood out in the garden. His shoulders were shaking, his body twitching as he attempted to hold in sobs. I walked over to him and patted him on his shoulder. He shrugged away from my touch. I frowned and looked at the memorial stone where we kept the names of dead Hyugas. 

My eyes caught on the latest addition: Hizashi Hyuga. My mouth flopped open. Uncle Hizashi was dead? But he had not gone on any missions? He was here at home.

“You did this.” 

The voice was acidic and vitriolic. I turned to look at Neji and when our eyes clashed his sneer deepened on his face. “You and your Main branch family did this to my father.” 

“Brother Neji I —” 

“I should have known something like this would have happened to my father. It is the fate of the Branch family to always serve the main family isn’t it. But just know this Lady Hinata.” He took a step forward and I took a step back. Something deep and wicked passed through his face when he saw the abject horror on my face. “I will never serve and abomination like you.” 

Abomination . 

Is that what I was now? I was no longer a failure but something that should not have existed in the first place. Tears gathered in the eyes that had been placed in my head. I thought that life was horrible before and it was only getting worse. 

“I — Brother Neji I — I never asked for this!” I said, my voice raising toward the end of the sentence. But Neji was set on misunderstanding me. “I don’t know what happened, but know I never wanted this.” 

“It doesn’t matter what you want, Lady Hinata. What matters is what Fate demands. And Fate demanded that my Father die for the Main House.” His words were heavy and final. My heart felt as though it was being torn to shreds but Neji just gave me one final glare before he turned and walked from the memorial stone. 

I stared at the name. Had I done this? Is that… Did these eyes belong to…? No, it could be. I gagged the sound audible in the light that was breaking along the horizon. I was a monster now… but monsters were scary right? I gathered myself and made my way to the room. 

Monsters at least had some power.   

Chapter Text

I could not help but stare at my eyes. 

They were two big light blue pools of light that jumped out of my face. My eyes — no, the eyes of my uncle, Uncle Hizashi — stared out of my face. How long was I going to have these eyes implanted in my head? The very thought that they took the eyes out of my own head and placed his eyes. My -- Uncle’s -- eyes welled with tears and they began to stream down my face. 

Everything had gone wrong since mother died. Everything. Father had always been a bit chilly with me, but after mom died everything fell apart with him. Hanabi was just a baby and so she could not help with any of this. Neji hated me and he was right to because they stole his father’s eyes and placed them in my head. 

I was alone. 

The Elders, my father and Ashigiri who I thought was on my side, were all patting one another on the back. They were so damn proud of themselves after what they have done to me. I cannot look in a mirror any more. I cannot stand the thought that my own body can be twisted and altered to fit their needs. Everything I am is nothing more than customizable parts. I am no better than the dolls I played with. 

My stomach churned in her torso and all I want to do is scream and cry and wail. But I cannot. I am sitting in my room and if for a moment anyone thought that I would harm myself or my precious eyes they would come running. I was under strict watch to make sure that the transplant went smoothly. 

There was some speaking. Talking about how my body may reject the transplant and I prayed every night until the darkness of sleep took me that something like that would happen. I prayed night and day that it would happen so that I could regain some control over my own body. 

“Hinata-sama?” 

I turn away from the mirror for a moment and look over to Ko who is standing by the door. His face flinches the moment that my own eyes make contact with his own. It is a secret, what has been done to me, but it is a badly kept secret. Everyone knows they just fear to be the first one to break the order to not speak about it. 

The elders held no such fear and they brag about it over dinner congratulating me and Hiashi and kissing the ground that  Ashigiri walks on. I hate them. I hate all of them and this family. I want nothing more than to run away and be swallowed whole by the ground, but even that is going to be denied me I bet. 

“Yes?” I ask. My eyes slip down to the ground. I do not want to make this anymore uncomfortable for him than it already is. I feel tears prick my eyes once more. I swallow the lump in my throat and shake my head to focus on the conversation at hand. “What is it?” 

My voice is steadier now. Something about being shy was rattled out of me the moment that I saw my own eyes. What was there to be shy about when they could so easily adjust my body to their preferences? I was nothing more than a vessel for their will and their wants. There was nothing I could hide from them. 

“Do you… Do you still wish to go to the park today?” Ko asks. His voice stumbles and trembles as though he is the one who should be afraid. What does he have to fear? It is not his body that will be cut into and changed at will. It is me. It has always been only me. I feel something like disgust well up in my chest, but it is heavier, stronger and more potent than any disgust that I have ever felt. It surpassed the disgust I feel toward seafood and bordered on something nearing hate. 

“Of course,” I say. I rise from the sitting position in from of the small mirror I had placed on the side of my futon. “I would still like to go.” 

I had been in the house for so long. It had been so long since I had seen other children and played with them. My heart speeds up at the thought of seeing him. The boy with the blonde hair and the blue eyes once more. I remember him faintly. 

The day had been cold and he was barely taller than me and yet he had stared down those bullies with all the fierceness of the tiger. He was sorely mismatched for the battle and yet he headed into the fray with all the confidence in the world. 

Seeing him again, just watching that boy once more, Naruto Uzumaki, made the day seem brighter. I dust my kimono off and then make my way over to the door. Ko is already waiting there and the two of us begin to make our way over to the front door. 

The compound has been quieter since Uncle Hizashi’s death. It feels darker as though there is some kind of cloud that lingers over the people who live here. I think it is because Branch members have been reminded how… expendable they are in the grand scheme of things. 

Uncle Hizashi was my father’s twin bother and yet that did nothing to protect him from the fate he faced. 

And then there was me, walking around with his eyes in my head. 

We make it to the front door and standing there as though he expected us there was my father. His arms were in his sleeves as they always were and his face was serene and when I say serene I mean hard and in deep contemplation. We stop in front of my father and bow politely. Ko grabs my hand and is about to make our way out of the compound and out into Konoha proper when my father speaks. 

“Do not squander this opportunity Hinata, with regret. You have been blessed.” 

Something about that word -- blessed -- sends a ball of fury pummeling through my stomach. It shoots up and crashes against my teeth and lips. I almost erupt. 

Blessed is something you say when you get something you have asked for. I never asked for this. I never wanted this. And yet, for some reason, I am supposed to be thankful that people plucked my eyes out of my head and killed my uncle to do so? I am supposed to be on my hands and knees, begging for another “blessing”? 

I master myself in the moment though. This is my father, the head of the Hyuga clan, and I cannot speak to him the way that others would have thought I could. I was merely the heir apparent and even that was a tenuous position given my performance thus far. 

“Of course father,” I say. He nods his head and walks away. Words of anger and sadness buzzing around inside me. They sting by tongue and batter against my teeth to be let out. But there are too many of them and all I know is that I will let out a primal scream of rage and anguish the moment I open my mouth again. 

So instead I tighten my hand around Ko’s and I walk with him. The longer that we walk to the park the more I notice that there are eyes on me. Sitting, standing, walking, all the eyes of the Konoha people are on me. They whisper behind their hands and their facades of nice smiles but I can still hear them and see them. 

I heard they tried to kidnap her. 

What is with her eyes? 

Is it true that they sent a body double? 

I have never seen eyes with a lotus pattern.

For a moment my eyes well with tears, but then like everything else I swallow it down. There is no use. They will only speculate the longer that I do not show my face. And by then the rumors would have been worse. 

We make it to the park. There were several children all running and playing. Ko let my hand go at this point to go and sit on the park bench. I make my way over to the open green field and just watch as the world turns. 

I pick flowers and weave them into crowns and rings and I contemplate my unlucky lot in life. 

“What are you doing by yourself?” 

I freeze, by hands knotting the flowers into chains. I look up and I swallow a gasp. Standing there before me is the boy I was just thinking about. His tan skin and whiskers prominent in his face. The sun haloes his blond hair and those sea blue eyes are trained on me. 

There is a bright smile on his face and a title to his head. His eyes are inquiring. My mind fumbles around the words he spoke. Transmuting sound into language that my brain could understand. 

“I — I,” I cannot speak. I flush, my face going red and my mind spinning out of control. “I don’t know.” 

“No one wanted to play with you?” he asks. I turn and look over at the other children. It wasn’t that they did not want to play with me; I didn’t want to play with them. I just wanted to be around people without the horror of the past couple of days hanging over me. I shrug my shoulders though. “Good. Because they don’t want to play with me either.” 

He plops down next to me and I cannot help the rapid beating of my heart. It has been so long since I had spoken to someone, anyone under the age of forty. I sit and link more flowers into the chain. 

“Why don’t they want to play with you?” I ask. My voice is softer than his boisterous speak-shout.

“They’re parents won’t let them. But that’s fine. If they don’t wanna play with me then that is fine by me because they are going to be begging to play with me when I become Hokage.” 

I look at him with wide eyes. “You’re gonna become Hokage?” 

He looks at me. “Of course I am going to be Hokage. Or else, my name is not Naruto Uzumaki!” He smiles at me and it feels hotter than the sun at our backs. “Of cool. Your eyes have a lotus pattern on ‘em!” 

It is the first time since I have stepped outside that I have looked up from the ground. I quickly look down once again. 

“I know, they’re ugly,” I say the words caught in my throat. The last thing that I want is for him to think of me as some freak. My eyes were nothing like they were at the beginning when we first met.

“No. I said they looked cool! I think they’re super amazing! Believe it!” 

Something in his words made me look up. I look at him and feel for a single moment the weightlessness of being admired. When was the last time that I had been paid a compliment? No string of backhandedness to the action. 

“I — thanks,” I say. The word clogs my throat for a moment, but I get it out. I search for something else to say and blurt, “I think your whiskers look pretty cool!” 

My face heats up and I look back to the ground. I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment. Now is the perfect time for me to become one with the earth once again. But nothing happens for a long time. I cautiously open an eye and looked up. 

Naruto stands there, a hand against his face. His fingers trace over the three whiskers that mark his cheeks and his smile is so abrupt and bright that I flinch in shock. 

“Thanks! No one has ever said that before! Hey, you wanna play ninja?” 

Without thinking I nod my head. He rises from the ground and grabs my hand to pull me up from the ground. What follows is the most convoluted game of ninja that I have ever played. Naruto would make up jutsus to counter my own and his form when fighting was laughable, but that was the beauty of it. It was laughter and joy and fun and for a moment, there was no dread about my own appearance, but the joy of being myself, truly. 

My heart beat hard in my chest as I chased after him. I did not notice that the sun was setting until Ko called for me. His hands were cupped around his mouth to make his voice louder. The moment that I heard his voice, it all came crashing back. I was disgusting; I was nothing more than a puppet; I was Hinata Hyuga and not a child, but the heiress to the Hyuga clan. 

It was like being splashed with cold water. It hit me all at once. I wanted to cry. I wanted to go back to the moments with Naruto where the two of us were nothing but children playing ninja. I wanted to go back to that moment. And yet, I could not. It was nothing more than an illusion. And this was my reality. 

Naruto turned to look at me. His face mirror my own with sadness. He scuffs his sandal against the ground. “You have to go don’t you?” 

I knew his lot in life. People hated him for no reason. People avoided him and people whispered about him when he was right in front of them. It hit me then that we were similar in that way. People were looking at me, avoiding me, there was a sense that there was something wrong with the both of us. I reach out and I grab Naruto’s hand in my own. 

“Will you be here tomorrow?” I ask. Seeing him made me feel like myself again. It made me feel like I wasn’t something expendable, that I was human and not something to be picked apart for parts. “I’ll come tomorrow if you will be here.” 

Something in Naruto’s eyes sparks to life and he nods his head. “I’ll be here, believe it. Same time tomorrow!” 

I knew that it was nothing more than a promise between children who knew nothing about what tomorrow would hold, but it warmed something inside of me. I nod my head and extract my hand from his own. Turning to Ko, I make my way over to him throwing a wave behind me so that Naruto knew that I was going to be there. 

Ko grabs my hand the moment that I make it over to him and he nods his head to Naruto. It is not something that is clearly disdainful; it is wary and cautious in a way that I do not understand. Ko and I begin the trek home. As we walk there is more whispering, more speaking about my eyes and what happened to me. But none of it gets to me. If Naruto can withstand it then so can I. 

I turn to Ko then and tilt my head. He does not look at me but he does wince the moment that my eye make contact with his face. Ah, so he is still creeped out by my eyes. It is something that I cannot blame him for. My eyes are something that I would never grow used to. 

“Why does everyone hate Naruto-kun?” I ask. Ko jumps a little, as though he did not expect to hear me speak. Did he expect that we were going to walk in silence like we did before? Too bad. I have questions. 

“They hate him for something that happened a long time ago. Something that was out of his control,” Ko says. “I am not at liberty to tell you what it is exactly, but it is something that you will learn when you become a ninja.” 

“Oh,” I say. There are a great many things that I have to wait until I become a ninja to understand. The importance of my eyes is one of them. I wonder then when I will be able to learn everything that the adults are keeping from me. 

We make it back to the compound in time for dinner. I wash up and make my way to the dinner table. Ashigiri has been having dinner with us every night since his arrival when he saved me. I walk into the dining room expecting to see the usual crowd of people but my eyes open in shock when I see another child sitting at the table who is not Hanabi. 

The child is around my age. His skin is pale just like Ashigiri’s and his hair is almost white white a slight blue tint to it. He wears the white robes that Ashigiri wears and his face is split into the widest grin that I have ever seen. And what draws my attention is the pale Byakugan that his eyes hold. 

“Ah, Hinata,” Ashigiri says. “I decided that it is time for you to begin your training. I have brought my son, Toneri to be your partner.” 

The boy, Toneri, practically bounces over to me and grabs my hand. “Nice to meet you, Hinata! I’m Toneri. I can’t wait to get to know you!” 

Something about him reads as fake to me and it makes me upset. There is none of the honesty that shone out in Naruto’s face in this man. I shake my hand and extract my hand from his. 

“Uh… nice to meet you, Toneri-san.” 

Something about what I said makes him frown. And I shake my head. I pad over to my seat, which is right next to Toneri and at the right hand of my father. He nods his head and then we begin to eat. The whole time I wonder what Ashigiri and Toneri have in store for me. 

Chapter Text

The next morning is my first training session with Ashigiri and Toneri. The night before was somewhat silence beside Toneri peppering me with questions about how I was and how I was dealing with having the Tenseigan. Both were topics of conversation that I did not want to speak about. Toneri though did not seem to get the hint and poked and prodded at me at the dinner table before his father told him to be quiet. 

Last night I dreamed of running in a large open field with Naruto. It was the first instance of a good dream I have had since having the Tenseigan implanted in my eyes. Naruto was there and so was Brother Neji and Uncle was there and mom was there too. When I went to look at myself in the water my eyes were normal, the way that they were before. 

I woke up this morning with tracks down my face and I knew that I had cried in my sleep. 

Now, I stand in front of the door to the training rooms of the compound. I cannot help the tightening of my stomach or the way that my fingers find one another. Training is not something that I am good at. It is something that shows how much of a failure I really am. 

Gentle Fist is the fighting style that utilizes the Byakugan and works the best. And I am terrible at it. Nothing about the Gentle Fist is natural or intuitive for me. My stance is always either too wide or too narrow. My hands never hit the spots hard enough. My father calls them taps. 

Neji is nothing like me. They say that he is a genius when it comes to the Gentle Fist. I have seen him fight over and over again and there is something so natural about the way that he fights. He knows what he is doing. He can go for the kill. And I just — I can’t do what he does. 

There is nothing that i want more than to be good at Gentle Fist. I want to make my family proud, but something about me just doesn’t work right. I am broken in the way that toys are. Once broken they are useless because they no longer serve their function properly. 

The very thought makes me duck my head. I look down at my fiddling fingers and knots them together. The action does nothing to soothe the ache in my chest. I could already feel the tears well up in my eyes. It is just going to be more of the same. The ache in my chest hurts so much, but there is no way that I can relieve it. There is nothing I can do but walk into that room and embrace the disappointment. 

“Are you going to come in?” 

I jerk my head up. Standing there in front of me is Tomeri. His smile is bright, almost blinding, and I feel as though the light of the moon is shining down on me. My fingers pause in their movements. I shiver. I will disappoint him and that smile will turn into contempt in a moment. 

Taking a slow step forward, my feet pad softly on the ground. I duck my head back down and march on towards the catastrophe waiting to happen. I stop in front of Ashigiri who is sitting there in the center of the room with a pillow underneath him. There are two more pillows in front of him meant for myself and Toneri. 

I sit down, my legs tucked underneath me. Ashigiri smiles at me. 

“It is a pleasure to see you, Hinata-sama,” he says, his voice smooth.

At one point I thought this man was different from the rest of the adults in my life. I wanted to believe in him and I wanted him to believe in me. But then he took my eyes from me and I found that he was worse than the rest of the adults. While they were disappointed in me they never would have gone as far as to take my eyes from me. 

This man was worse. He would smile at me one moment and then plot behind my back. So I am wary to hear anything that he has to say. 

“Come, let us start your first lesson. Toneri!” 

Toneri slips into the pillow next to me. He tucks his legs underneath himself and he flashes me another bright smile. I nod my head and then we both look at Ashigiri. 

“Now, Hinata-sama, you have been learning the Hyuga’s style of the Gentle Fist right?” I nod my head. “I have spoken to your father and you have been struggling to master even the most basic forms.” 

Heat rushes to my face. I duck my head. I can feel the press of eyes against me and I squeeze my eyes shut. I want the earth to swallow me whole. My throat becomes achy in the way that I know a cry is coming on. I squeeze my eyes close even tighter. 

“I do not say this to bring you any shame, Hinata-sama. I say this so that we are all in understanding of how this training will go.” 

I nod my head but the blood does not leave my cheeks. I open my eyes and look at Ashigiri’s pale skin. He nods his head and pulls papers from his coat pocket. 

“Now Hinata I want you to push some chakra into this piece of paper. I’ll explain some more from there,” he said. He passed me a paper. 

The slip of paper appeared to be nothing more than that a slip of paper. I felt the texture in my hands and it was kind of waxy. I nod my head once and then push some chakra into the slip of paper. Immediately the paper, grows soggy, crinkles and crackles, and then is split in half by a gale of wind. My eyes widen.

“Ah, just as I thought,” Ashigiri says as he takes the paper from me. I stare at the paper, my eyes caught by the ruined paper. “What do you know about chakra and its affinity to nature?” 

“Um, I know that everyone has a chakra that leans toward an element. Some more than others,” I say. 

“Good. Good very good. It seems that the people of this world have remembered that, but forgotten the rest.” 

“The rest?” 

“Why yes. Chakra affinity does not only affect the way one’s chakra reacts to the world but also reacts to the way one conducts oneself.” Ashigiri waves the piece of paper in the air as though it held all the answers in the world. “You know chakra is a mixture of physical and spiritual energies right? Well, truly this is a mixture of yin and yang energies, physical and spiritual coming together to become the energy we use to enact change in the world. These energies play a role in how we fight and how we act, but that is a conversation for another day.” 

Ashigiri looks at the slip of paper for a moment and I tilt my head as I stare at the paper. “So if chakra is a mixture of yin and yang then what does this have to do with the Gentle Fist?” 

“Ah, yes!” Ashigiri says. “A long time ago, long before you were born, the Gentle Fist was created. The wide stance, the feet planted firmly against the ground, these were all adopted by members of the clan that leaned toward Earth affinity. But there were other forms of the Gentle Fist more attuned to other elements.” 

His words shock me. The Elders and my father had always said that the Gentle Fist was a form that was passed down through the ages. From the Warring States period to now, the way we have fought has never changed. But apparently this was something that was not true. 

“I know that it is hard to believe, but the Gentle Fist that you know now is just one of several forms that have been passed down through the ages. The Gentle Fist that you are learning is an Earth style form that became more prominent as more and more Earth affinity types became to populate. I believe because of the inbreeding Earth affinity became easier to pass down, but you Hinata are not an Earth affinity. You are a water affinity.

“This explains why you struggle with the Gentle Fist. You are an Water affinity, a more sanguine element attempting to learn a fighting style that requires a more… stiff approach to fighting.” 

My mind was reeling with the information that was being shared with me. There was more than one version of the Gentle Fist? My father and the elders had always told me over and over again that the Gentle Fist that we have had been perfected and crafted through the ages. This was the pinnacle of Hyugan innovation. But according to Ashigiri, it was just one form in a family of fighting that had been selectively chosen. 

I lean forward then and pinch my eyes shut. That meant that all this time, I was struggling because they were teaching me the wrong form. They were judging a fish for its ability to climb a tree. 

And then the anger hits me. I am just so mad because I could have been taught anything. I could have been learning something more suited to my affinity. I could have been taught something that served me, but of course, I was taught something that served them before they considered anything about me. 

Tears of anger fall from my eyes and I wiped them away stubbornly. I will not allow them to see me cry. These people whom I barely know. I wipe at my ruddy cheeks and train my eyes on Ashigiri once more. He is still looking at the paper with all the contemplation of some great thinker.

“It appears you have a primary affinity for water, a secondary in lightning, and a tertiary in wind. No wonder you were struggling with the Gentle Fist, none of your affinities lend themselves to the stable stance of fighting required from this form,” he says. 

That just made the anger bloom anew in my chest. I swear in the moment I could spit lava. But then I pause. I stop myself and then I close my eyes. No. My father was teaching what he was taught and the elders did not even know this. I nod my head once and open my eyes. 

“Then will you be teaching me one of the older — different ways to fight?” I ask. 

Ashigiri smiles at me. “Of course I will. That is what I am here for.” He rises from the ground and nods his head to Toneri who rises also. I look and Toneri already has a hand out for me to grab. I take it and rise. Ashigiri swipes the pillows and Toneri flounces over to the otherside of the dojo. 

I square my shoulders and chuck up my chin. I have nothing to be ashamed about. I was taught wrong and though the very thought made something inside of me angry, there was also a sense of relief. I was not a failure. I was not a disappointment. I was just Hinata and I was being taught the wrong thing. 

None of this was my fault.

“Now, I want you to spare with Toneri. Let’s see how well the Hyuga’s have taught you.” He said this as though he did not already know, like he was not already sure of what the outcome will be. I still get into my stance though because the only way we are going to move on to being actually taught is by making the first step. 

Toneri swings back and forth on the balls of his feet. There is something so childlike about him that I almost forget that we are the same age. He is taller than me but there is something so excitable about him. It reminds me of Naruto a little bit. 

“Begin!” 

I charge forward without a thought. I moved in the stances, two hits go out to his abdomen, but Toneri side steps both. I change direction. I force my hands higher toward his shoulders, but Toneri ducks under the hits. I stabilize my core and do a two handed hit to his center once more but Toneri flips away. I chase. 

It is a game of cat and mouse between the two of us. I chase after him and he dodges every blow. The longer that I chase after him the more tired I become. Without thinking, I flood chakra to my eyes the way I do with the Byakugan and the world seems different. I can see everything. The grains of wood on the hardwood floor, the dust motes in the air. 

My hand stretches out and the first thought I have thought I have through the frustration is: come . The command is so desperate in its pleading and I feel something, a large hand of chakra but invisible shoot out from my hand. 

The chakra interacts with the dust motes, pulling them toward me and then latches on to Toneri’s shirt and tugs him toward me. He yelps in shock as he is sent rapidly toward me. I shriek and move out of the way. Toneri slams face first into the ground. 

I give a small yelp and rest over to him. The chakra that was flooding my eyes ceases and I gently grab the boy from the ground. 

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” I say. Blood rushes from his nose and down the front of his white shirt, making the red shine like garnets. My eyes widen and I shout in shock. I did that to him. I somehow managed to pull him closer to me. 

“No fair!” Toneri whines. “You can’t use the Tenseigan when we are sparring!” 

“Tenseigan?” I ask. Toneri give a small laugh. 

“Toneri. Go clean yourself off and change closes. It appears that I need to educate Hinata on the gift that has been bestowed on her.” 

“Yes, Father.” Toneri rises from the ground, hand pressed to his nose and walks away to go and get attended to. I turn to face Ashigiri who is standing some ways behind me. He stand and chucks his head over to the outside. 

A calming stone garden is what we look out at as we sit down. I compare my skin to Toneri’s and Ashigiri’s. Their skin is so pale, almost ashen in its finish. Even I look positively rosy compared to them. I wonder where it is from that they came from to have the Byakugan but be so separate from the world. 

“You will have to forgive me for being long winded, but this story takes some time to tell,” Ashigiri said. “Long ago, the Sage of Six Paths had a brother and through his brother you got the Hyuga clan.” 

I raise my eyebrows at his words. Questions dance on my tongue but I keep them locked up tight. He said that the story would be long and so he may answer some questions that I have. 

“Though some of the Hyuga clan, the clan that you were born into, decided to live amongst the people and the world, the other side of the clan, decided to leave the world of ninja to their battles and went to the moon to watch over humanity.” 

When he said that everything seemed to click for me. The moon! They were from the moon! My mind whirs with what that means and how they lived on the moon for so long without contact from other people. It did explain why their skin was so waxen though. 

“That is where me and Toneri come from. The brother of the Sage of Six Paths died and it was his last will and testament to watch over the world and make sure that it does not fall into darkness. We have watched the world grow and change from a distance. But as the world has come along… we have dwindled, one by one, until all that is left of our once great clan is just me and Toneri. 

“I do not say this for your pity so you understand why keeping the traditions and spirit of our clans alive. We are family, you and I keep long tired tradition alive.” 

Something about what he said stirred something in me. The Hyugas always spoke about keeping the tradition and thought of the Byakugan alive, but there was so many Hyugas I never felt as though the tradition and fighting style of the Hyuga clan was ever in danger.

But Toneri and Ashigiri were the last of their clan, my clan, that I somehow was a part of. We were distant cousins, but cousins nonetheless. I could understand then why he saved me and why he altered my eyes. It did not make what he did to me okay, but I could understand the desperation that he operated with now. 

“I knew coming here… It would help to revive the remnants of the clan. Or keep some traditions alive. So you see Hinata the Tenseigan that you have awakened, these are the inheritances of the brother of the Sage of Six Paths, Hamura. You are his heiress. The long foretold Byakugan princess.” 

The weight of the words dawned on me. If I was the Byakugan Princess then things would be expected of me. I could feel the jittery nervousness rising up within me. I want to run, bolt from the room, but I know that would be the wrong thing to do. 

I remember sitting in the room with Ashigiri and my father talking about the greatness of my eyes. I remember the moment sitting in that room and thinking to myself that power was all that they respected. I was right but there was more to it than that. There was tradition and culture that they were trying to preserve through their teaching to me. And though I could not say I liked the ways that they went about teaching me… this fear of the lost of who they were was something that I could relate to. 

I was scared to become a ninja because I was scared I was going to be made into someone I was not. I was scared that I would disappoint people. But I think that I was looking about becoming a shinobi the wrong way. 

Being a shinobi was a long tradition that was handed down to me. Countless people fought and died for me to be here. I was the culmination of dreams and aspirations that thousands before me had. Their hands molded the present in front of me and I now had to ask myself the question: what future would I mold for myself? For my future descendants? 

This present before me was something precious and I had a choice in this moment to embrace the power and tradition in front of me or reject it. It would have been easy to deny myself this, to give up and roll over, but I remembered Naruto. I remember his determination to win the hearts of the people that so callously reject him and whisper about him. 

They did the same to me and I shrivel under their attentions. But he walks boldly into every room and announces his name. If he could do it then couldn’t I? 

“This Tenseigan… what can I do with it?” 

Ashigiri smiles. 

Chapter Text

There were a great deal of things that I did not understand about the world. I did not understand why there was thunder when it rained. I did not understand why my father became so cold after losing my mother. And I did not understand Ashigiri’s and Toneri’s obsession with me. 

There was a certain fascination that they had with me and my abilities. They said that it was because I was this Byakugan princess. That it was because I was the culmination of the dreams of Hamura come to life, but these were all reasons that I could not accept. 

Nothing about me was special. Everything special about me was something out of my control. My prestige and pedigree was mere luck of the draw and my eyes… those had been gifted to me without my knowledge. Everything that they claimed made me special was nothing more than circumstance and fate aligning long enough to bestow me with something. Nothing about it was my own. 

Sitting on the top of a rolling hill with Naruto, this fact stared me right in the face. There was nothing about me that was special. There was nothing about me that was worthwhile. So why did everyone place their hopes and dreams on me? Why were these people invested in me? 

Naruto was babbling on about something or another, but I was listening with half a mind. I wanted to be as confident as he was. When someone said he was special I knew for a fact that Naruto would not doubt it. He never doubted himself or his wealth of potential. Everything was a learning opportunity. Everything that was his was coming for him and was preparing him for something greater than the moment before. 

I wondered where that confidence came from. Where, in a world where he was only scorned, did he find the ability to look at the world and smile? There had to be something, a moment, when he made this choice. 

“There are some people staying at my house,” I say then. Naruto stops whatever it was that he was saying in order to give my words his full attention. I do not look at him, I look out at the crowd of children playing in the wide open field before us. I pull at the grass by my side and I consider the next words that I am going to say. “They are staying there because they helped me and want to train me.” 

“But?” Naruto asks, his voice leading. 

“They… they think I am this special person. They think that I am some princess and that I am going to do these great things and —” My breath hitches at the thought of their disappointment. I could not bear to think those faces, so full of hope and wonder, crash and burn because I am not as capable as they think I am. “I don’t wanna disappoint them, but I have disappointed everyone else so far. I can never live up to their expectations.” 

Tears burn in my eyes, but I do not want to let them fall. Not here. Not in front of Naruto. I feel as though I have soured the mood with the conversation. I wipe my eyes as a few stray tears have escaped. My cheeks feel hot under the press of my hands and I know my face is flushed red. 

“Have you ever considered for a moment that they are right?” Naruto asks. 

“They can’t be when —” 

“Hinata, I haven’t known you long,” Naruto begins his voice loud. “I’ve known you for like what a week? But you come here everyday you say you will, you are always willing to play with me and you are even willing to listen to me complain about the landlady and how mean she is to me.” 

I nod my head and follow along with his words. These were all things that I have done.

“I don’t know much about your training or what you got going on at home, but you are a good, loyal friend. You just have a bad habit of getting up in your own head. You need to start seeing yourself the way that I see you and the way that these other people are seeing you.” Naruto shimmies closer to me then grabs my hand. “You are a good person and I think you’re so scared of failure that you aren’t giving the training a fair try. Just allow yourself for one moment to not think about what comes after the training and focus on what you are doing in the now.” 

I look down at our linked hands and the world seems to fall away. The warmth of his hand in mine is the only thing that is grounding me at the moment. I want to reach out and squeeze his hand, but then the weight of his words hit me. 

The Now. That is such a phrase that a kid would say, but were we not children? The Now. The collection of moments that slipped through my fingers like sand. I was never present in the Now because I was so focused on the fear for the future. What would happen if I messed up in the Now, that the Future was ruined. 

And I heard Naruto at that moment. I was caught up in worrying about something that may or may not happen that I destroyed my Now in order to see into the future. And the Future was always disappointing because of my lack of effort in the Now. I created the Future that I was so scared to see. 

The thought that I was harming myself by worrying so much made me worry even more. But the moment my thoughts began to spiral I squeezed Naruto’s hand. The warmth and the jolt of fingers against the palm of my hand made something in me pause. Take a deep breath. And then let it all out. 

“I — I think you’re right,” I say. I look down at our joined hands and feel the blood rush to my head once more. I nod my head and then pull my hand away from his own. Squeezing his hand had helped in making sure that my thoughts were focused on the present. Maybe I could use that to stay focused on the Now. “I need to give this a far shot. Thank you Naruto.” 

His smile was blinding. I smiled back, smaller, less sure. He grabbed my hand again and rose from the ground, tugging me towards the swing set. 

“Come on! They finally stopped hogging the swing,” he says, well, more like shouts. I smile at him and nod as I follow along.

“The first thing you must understand about your nature affinity is that it is not formless.” 

Ashigiri stood in front of myself and Toneri in the dojo. His arms were in his sleeves and he was standing with feet shoulder width apart. Toneri and I were seated on pillows with our legs underneath us. I sit there and I consider what Ashigiri was saying. 

“Water is not an element without form. It is the element of adaptation. Water changes to fit whatever mould it is put into. Only wind is the truly formless element,” Ashigiri said. 

I consider his words. Water came out the faucet in a circular sheathe because the pipes were cylinders. It shaped itself into the form of a cup because that was the vessel of which it was poured into. Even spilled water attempted to take some form, malleable as it was. 

“Adaptation is the greatest power that a ninja has. To be able to change to be what the situation calls for, to be able to fit into mould that the situation demands. It is the greatest talent that a ninja could possess. But that is something that you will have to learn for another time. First you must master the Gentle Fist’s Water Form. Rise.” 

I get up from the pillow and come to stand in front of Ashigiri. He nods his head at me and I mirror him. He leans back on one leg, allowing the other to stretch out before him. His hands come up near his head, each one poised looking like a snake's head. 

Mirroring his stance, I wobble as my back legs are not very strong. Ashigiri releases from the stance and walks around me, prodding at my sides and legs until they are just the way that he likes them. When I am finally in my stance he nods his head. 

“This style of fighting was called Snake’s Head and was one of the Imperial styles of fighting that the Hyuga’s made during the Warring States Period. This form will require you to strengthen your core and your fingers should you want to use it,” Ashigiri said. He nods when he sees that I am in position. “Your form is good. Once you are more comfortable with the stance you could adjust it to your liking. That way the style becomes more your own.” 

The thought rattles me. Make the form my own. How would I do that? I ignore his words and then settle into my position. 

“Toneri. Spar with her. I want to see what she knows,” Ahsigiri says. I feel a well of anxiety overflow within me. Immediately my thoughts begin to race and all I can think about is the fact that I am about to spar with someone. Once again, Toneri is in front of me and he takes up the snake position that his father just took. 

I stand in the same position, but then I nod my head. I sneak a hand into my pocket and squeeze a ball that I brought along in my pocket. I can do this. Be in the Now. 

“Begin!” 

Toneri is fast. He makes it past my guard in seconds and snaps his fingers across my arms. The pressure of his hits are hard as the tenketsu that allow my chakra to flow close. I pull back and settle into the familiar Hyuga stance that my parents have taught me. 

Toneri comes, but this time I am ready for him. He slithers forward once again and I slam a hand down towards his stomach. He leans back his eyes on the hand in front of him and not paying attention to my other hand that slams into his side. 

But he knew the attack was coming and raised a hand and leg to defend. I am quick with my hits. I have him on the defensive and I do not want to let up. I spin around him and So our backs are to one another. I spin once more and then I am face to face with him. His hand whips forward and I lean back to avoid the hit. 

Toneri smiles and then swipes my legs out from under me. I slam against the ground, my shoulder jarring hard against the ground. I look up to Tonei to hand a hand poise over my chest. I look up and could already feel the tears welling in my eyes, but then Ashigiri smiles and claps his hands. 

“Good, good. This is all very good. You are well in your progress of the Ox forms, but that is not suited for you. Time for you to learn the forms. Once you learn them. My god, the levels that you will achieve.” 

I feel something akin to shock rush through me. I was not bad? I did not make a total fool of myself? I want to pinch myself to see if I was dreaming, but I knew from the aching in my shoulder that I was not. 

Toneri reaches a hand down in order to help me up and I take it. I rise to my feet and rub at my shoulder. 

“You did great Hinata. Better than I expected for someone using a style ill-suited for you,” he said as Toneri and I take our seats back on the pillows. I feel the shock slowly fading into something brighter and more joyful. Was it happiness? Was this joy? I want to smile and cry out with the elation of the moment. I was not a disappointment and I kept myself in the Now. 

I dig a hand into my pocket and squeeze it in order to get all the emotion out of me. Ashigiri stands in front of me with a smile on his face and a nod of his head. 

“Now we will begin working on the stances and forms,” Ashigiri says. We rise and for the rest of the afternoon we work on the form. There is something to be said about the Snake form as it is easier for me the grasp than the traditional Hyuga gentle fist that was being taught to me before. 

We end once the sun is high in the sky and break for lunch. I wander into the kitchen where the Branch members all pause the moment that they see me at the door. I pause and then it all suddenly hits me once more. 

I look down making sure to avoid looking any of them in the eye. I grab my plate of food and walk out to the gardens where I like to take my lunch. Sitting there under the sun I feel as though there is some kind of peace being made between myself and my current circumstances. 

I will never be able to return to the person I was before, and I did not want to. There was something beautiful about being made powerful and it was something that I was beginning to understand. I may not be powerful in the ways that traditional Hyugas appreciated, but there was something to be said about the power I was gaining now. 

Fear was a power and it was something that I could use to shield myself from the prying eyes of the house and the prodding of the Branch family members who looked at me with disgust and vitriol. I could use that to protect myself from the elders and father. 

“Hinata-sama,” a voice says coolly. I turn and see standing there behind me is Brother Neji. His eyes are cold and there is a disgust in his eyes that was never there before. I rise from the stone bench I was sitting on and rise to bow towards my elder cousin. 

“Hello, Brother Neji,” I say with a dip of my head. My hand is in my pocket, squeezing the ball tight. I tighten and release. Tighten and release. 

“It was not enough that you had to steal my father from me, but you had to steal his eyes too, huh?” Neji says. 

I feel as though the world has shattered in front of me. But then again was there any secret as to what happened to Uncle Hizashi? That I was the one who stole his eyes? I look at him and I tighten and release the ball in my hands. 

“I had no choice in the matter,” I said, and my voice is firm though my hand trembles in my pocket. Tighten and release. “You should know that.” 

“No choice. My father didn’t have a choice when he was killed to save your Main branch father! You could have done something!” 

Neji takes a menacing step forward, his eyes hard and trained on me. I take a step back and squeeze the ball tighter in my hand. 

“Neji, do you think that I wanted this? Do you honestly believe that I wanted to have your father’s eyes in my head?” My voice becomes louder and more shrill. I feel the ache of something in my chest. Is that my heart? Is it breaking? 

Neji had always been a focal point of my life. I loved him like a brother and he was always kind to me. He had promised to protect me. But something in him had soured the moment that Hizashi died. And it blamed me for what happened to him. 

And maybe in some distant world he was right to blame me. I was the one who was captured and his father happened to be an exact replica of my father with the caged bird seal. Fate was a fickle mistress. 

But it was not my fault. I am starting to see that now. 

Neji takes another menacing step forward and I take another one back. 

“Do not get close to me,” I warn. 

“And what are you going to do? Activate the seal on me? You? Disappointing Hinata? You wouldn’t dare.” He slid his foot forward. 

I feel the chakra rush to my eyes. There are no bulging veins the way the Byakugan does. There is no outward show that the Tenseigan is on. It is not until I act that there is any hint of it working. 

“Neji,” I warn once more. 

“Do something. Activate the seal. Because if you don’t I am going to gouge my father’s eyes out of your head.” 

He charged. 

I raised my hand. 

Neji goes shunting backward. His body slams against the wall of the kitchen where the other Branch members are working. They all rush out to see the commotion. I know what this scene must look like to them: the failure was able to knock out the prodigy with just her hand. 

They look between me and Neji and I know that if I do not capitalize on this moment and their fear that I will be their punching bag. 

“Get him the help he needs. And let this be a warning to you all. I do not need the seal to bring you under control,” I say. I turn and walk out from the garden forgetting about my lunch. 

The ball is squished in my hand and my hands shake as I walk to my room. Rumor will spread. People will gossip, but at the end of the day, I will have cloaked myself in a shield in this house. 

I could not win their love so I will earn their fear. 

Chapter Text

There is something to be said about fear. It is something primal. It surpasses the rational mind and launches straight to our baser instincts. There are several of these baser instincts: hunger, sleep, boredom, they all linger in our minds. Fear serves its purpose by telling people that they are outmatched by the foe in front of them. It tells them whether they should fight or run. 

For a long time, I operated out of fear. The fear of rejection, the fear of scorn. But operating out of fear short circuits your brain. You cannot make good decisions when you are scared, only desperate ones. I traded so much of myself because I thought it would assuage the fear and tame it. 

It did not. 

But now, I no longer am scared of the people around me. Instead they fear me. And with that is a sort of power. Because of their fear they are scared to displease me. Because of their fear, they want nothing more than to be out of my way and it is because of this fear that they are efficient in their service to me. 

Do I want people to be afraid of me? To only have their support in fear for what will happen should they not give it? No. I want to be loved. I want people to see me and love me and cherish the time that they spend with me. But that world — the reality where people loved me for me and respected me because I was worthy — that ship sailed long ago. 

Now, there is only this. This aching loneliness where once I cried out for anyone to love me. They took me and they spat on me; they kicked me; they threw mean words at me. And I took it all because I foolishly thought that one day they would change. I have learned something from this. I have learned that you cannot expect people to change. People do not change. 

There is something comforting knowing the fact that people cannot change. It is good knowing that you will get the same behavior whenever you interact with someone. 

The morning air is comforting now. I have come into the habit of waking to wait for the sun to rise. Today I am old enough to attend the academy. Today will start the beginning of my ninja journey. I know that this is something small in the grand scheme of things, but Ashigiri has been training myself and Toneri to the bone since he arrived here. 

Today also marks the trial with which the elders and my father will examine the training that I have received from Ashigiri. They want to make sure that he has been keeping his end of the bargain. Something about the thought of them testing me… It makes something sour and hard twist in my belly. 

I know that I will have to show them my abilities as the heiress of the clan else they will try something, but there is a part of me that wants to test them . I want to see how far I could push them, how long I could control their fear of me. 

Since the day that they took my eyes from me, I have felt a rumbling inside of me. I have felt this anger that scratches up my throat like some feral beast and aches to burst from my chest and mouth like a two headed jackal. It is something that I know I need to control, and yet…

I rise with the sun and nod my head once before climbing down from the roof and swing into my room. When I enter I already see Toneri sitting there with one of my plushies wrapped in his arms. I smile and slide down on the bed next to him. 

“When did you get in here?” I ask. My heart is sent pounding into my chest. Toneri is a nice boy, but there is something suffocating about being around him. The expectation of being the Byakugan princess is ever present with him around and I am thinking that with this time away from one another — with my being at the academy and him staying here to train with his father — will allow me to cultivate some kind of appreciation for him. 

It is hard to know someone when you have put them on a pedestal. 

Toneri looks at me with glassy eyes. His eyes are large on his pale white face and shimmers with unshed tears. He drops the stuffie and grips my pajamas in his hands. His hands are tight white fists that bunch the front of my night gown. 

“You promise that you won’t forget me. You promise that we will still be friends and you will marry me one day?” 

He has been hung up on this marriage thing for a while now. It reminds me of a child that understands that marriage means something but lacks to understand the type of commitment that it requires. I stroke a hand down his head and he nestles closer into my chest. “You promise?” 

I shake my head. “You will always be a dear friend to me Toneri,” I say. The words seem to lose more and more meaning as time goes on. How long can you say something before it means nothing? I seem to be on a quest to find out. 

Toneri hiccups and pulls away from me to wipe at his face. I laugh and pat his head once and then rise. I still need to get ready for class. I shoo Toneri out of the room and get dressed simply for the day. I wear a simple kimono top and some black pants and slip on my sandals. 

My father and little sister are waiting for me at the dining table with Ashigiri and Toneri. They are sat against one another, each facet of my life facing one another from across the table. I sit down somewhere in the middle. I will not cross over to one side or the other and they all know this. 

Food is set out in front of us and we begin breakfast in silence as we always do. The only sound being chopsticks hitting the dinnerware. My father is the first to break the silence. 

“I hope that you will put on a satisfactory performance today,” he says, his voice still low and rumbling. 

Now that I do not spend every waking moment with my father, I can see the telltale signs of aging on him. Wrinkles crease his eyes and there are lines parenthetical to his mouth. My father is aging, no longer the young man that he was when I was younger. 

And I know exactly what he is speaking about. He is speaking both about the school day and the session that will follow after it. He wants to make sure that his heir apparent will do well and that the training that he has handed over to Ashigiri will be worth the time and effort. If not… there is no telling what would become of me. 

I open my mouth to say something, but Ashigiri beats me to the punch. “You will find that Hinata had progressed considerably under my tutelage. I would not lie to you about this,” he says as he places some salted fish on his tongue. Toneri nods his head in agreement. 

“Hinata has become super strong in the time since my father has been training her. You’ll be so surprised,” Tonei says. I want to flush but I bite down on the emotion. I could feel the weight of expectation mounting. It was going to crush me wholesale. 

Ever since Ashigiri and Tonei came into my left, the tale of the Byakugan princess is something that I have had to contend with. I could not be this mythical person who will help them and their clan. I am not someone that amazing. All I know is that I am Hinata and I wanted to be a powerful ninja. 

The style of fighting that Ashigiri has taught me comes to me more naturally than the traditional Hyuuga Gentle Fist, but I have never fought against a traditional gentle fist user since I have begun training and so I am woefully unprepared for today’s fight. 

Already I could feel the disappointment that will color their faces. Soon I will not be Hinata the fabled Byakugan princess, I will be Hinata the wasted potential. This is something that I know and yet, there is a part of me, small and growing, that feels almost confident in my abilities. I know that I will never reach the expectations of some people, but there is a part of me that has expectations for myself and my performance. I want to be good and that is more surprising than anything else. 

“I hope to do well at today’s exhibition,” I say. My voice is calm but my stomach is twisting. I want to scream and it almost claws up my throat and out my mouth, but my teeth form a barrier that it cannot escape. I smile and consider my next words carefully. “I think I will do well today.” 

The words are almost a shock to me. I feel like today I will do well. The thought jars me. But this confidence, this feeling that I will do well and that I will perform well is something that I cannot tamp down now that this part of me has been acknowledged. My heart thunders in my head and I feel a fainting spell coming on but I fight it off. 

“Good,” my father says and then we go back to our meal. The meal is eaten and then taken away. Ko stands by the door waiting for me to take me to class. I rise from the table, bid everyone goodbye, and then make my way to Ko. We leave the compound and walk through the town. 

I have been outside enough to deal with the whispering now. But the village people have gotten used to my eyes. No, now they whisper because of all the time I spend with Naruto. 

“She is only seen with the demon boy… They are always together… Do you think he is threatening her?” 

The words mean nothing to me, but my ear twitches when they call Naruto the demon boy. I do not understand why they continue to call him this. I have asked Ko about it, but he said that it was something that he was not at liberty to tell me. I wonder why, but I think that Naruto will tell me in his own time, if he even knows. 

We make it to the academy around the same time that other students get there. There are mothers kissing their kids as they enter the school. I see the parents of the Aburame clan coolly wishing their child a good day. The Inuzuka clan is loud as they present their son with a puppy that he places atop his head. The puppy barks happily and licks at the forehead of his new owner. 

I search through the crowd trying to see where Naruto is. My eyes look for the shock of blond and I find it. He is sitting on a lone swing, far away from all the families and people and he just… watches. His eyes were heavy with longing and my heart twists in my chest. 

Naruto does not have people that will welcome him home or send him off. He is all alone and this display of familial love must serve as nothing more than a reminder of what he does not have. I let go of Ko’s hand and walk over to Naruto. 

I do not know what possesses me to go over there and begin speaking to Naruto. My heart is thundering in my head and my tongue is heavy in my mouth, but I am determined to help the person who was my first friend after everything that had happened to me. I place a smile on my lips and walk over to him. 

“Hey, Naruto,” I say as I lean over to him. 

“Hinata?” he says as though he was surprised to see me. I smile and grab one of the ropes that make the swing. I smile and he mirrors the action. I see some of the light return to his eyes and with that my tongue feels lighter. “You’re not with your family?” 

“They just sent my retainer Ko with me,” I say with a hand wave over to where Ko was standing. I grab his hand then and I look into his eyes and smile. “Congrats on making it into the academy.” 

I say the words that I wish I could have heard that morning. The words that I knew that he too wanted to hear from someone. His eyes flickered for a moment, the blue of his eyes the color of a still pond. For a moment they became glassy with tears but he fights them back and grins at me. This grin is wide and welcoming and his eyes match the strength of the grin. He jumps up from the swing and grabs my hand. 

Naruto begins to lead me toward the school house and is talking the whole time. “Thanks Hinata! We are going to be so awesome in the academy! Like can you imagine the jutsus that they are going to be teaching us. Like we are going to be so damn amazing by the end. I mean we are amazing now, but we’ll be doubly amazing by the end of this.” The words come out hard and fast, but they make something in my chest warm. 

We are going to be amazing. We are going to make everyone who looked down on us or hated us eat their worlds. I walk a little faster so that I am not being pulled by Naruto but am walking by his side. I know that there is going to be a long way before the two of us become the ninjas that we are thinking we will become, but the feat, committing to this path seems less daunting when I am beside Naruto.

We walk into the school house and walk into the classroom that has been assigned to us. The classroom is empty and the desks cascade upwards so that everyone in the room would have a clear view of the board. I run my hand against the solid wood of the desk in front of me. 

Naruto tugs on my hand and I look to see him already with one foot on the stairs. “Let’s sit in the back so that way we can talk when lessons get boring,” Naruto says in a stage whisper. 

I giggle at his words and follow him up the stairs and into the two seats in the center and the back of the room. I slip into the seat next to Naruto and the two of us talk as people slowly make their way into the room. 

Student filter in and I mark each clan that enters the room. I see the Akimichi, Nara, Abrume, Inuzuka and Yamanaka . It appears that all the major clans have children around my age and we are all in the same academy class. I feel sorry for whoever is gonna be our teacher. And I thought I was going to be dealing with some pressure. 

The room holds it breath however. I notice girls watching the door their eyes dancing over the front door as though they are waiting for something or someone. I do not know who else they could be waiting for. I look over the students and the seats are all almost full. How many more students could there be? Who could the be waiting for? 

Was the teacher supposed to be someone handsome? Was that why the room felt like it was a powder keg ready to erupt? The door slides open and in walks a boy. There is nothing particular about this boy to me but the energy in the room erupts the second that the boy enters. 

Chairs screech against the ground and girls squeal long and loud. They move quick. Their short legs bringing them forward so that they crowd around the boy that they have been waiting for.  All I can make out about the boy was his dark hair before he is swarmed with girls. 

Naruto places his chin in his hand and juts out his lower lip. “Ugh, the girls are all over Sasuke again.” 

“Sasuke?” I ask. I wrack my brain trying to grasp at something. I know that name. “Sasuke… Uchiha?” 

“Yeah,” Naruo says, “all these dumb girls are always after him. Some even say that they love him but he doesn’t do anything so I don’t get it.” 

I feel a smile twitch at my lips at his words. How funny that he would hate someone so beloved. I place my own chin against my hand and shrug my shoulders. “Maybe they like his hair or his personality.” 

“He’s just like everyone else. There is nothing special about him!” 

“Maybe.” 

Sasuke breaks away from the group of girls and walks over to his desk. He pauses for a moment and I swear for the briefest moment our eyes connect. The world pauses for a second and the first thing that I want to do is hide my eyes away. They are odd to look at. Who the fuck has a lotus pattern in their eyes? But I look away and down at my desk. 

I peer up from under my lashes and Sasuke’s mouth is open, but then the door slides open and the teacher walks into the room. He is a tall man with the chunin flak jacket. A long scar runs over his nose and he smiles at all of us. 

“Alright everyone. Sit down in your chairs. My name is Iruka and I will be your teacher for your time heere at the academy.” 

The day begins and whatever it was that Sasuke wanted to say is thrown out the window. Good . the last thing that I need is the commentary about my eyes. 

I pull out my book and ready myself for the lesson.