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Jung-Hwa can feel the sob building in his chest while he leaves the room, desperately trying and failing to suppress it, as the doctors rush to Siyeon. The panicked and terrified look on the face of the woman who should be, but he has no right to call his sister sent a knife right to his heart. Rendering him even more of an emotional mess than when this whole ordeal began.
Ever since that day months ago, when their father got the call that Siyoen had been hospitalized, he's been drowning in a well of remorse and self-loathing.
Neither their father nor Baek Hyeon has said anything to him regarding the reason why Siyeon was hospitalized (stomach cancer, just like her mother. Jung-Hwa should know he spent enough time making snide comments and teasing her about it. He thinks disgustedly back at his past actions.) He spent the past months wondering if they (his father and brother) knew he was the reason. He was why Siyeon was hospitalized. Why she was sick. If they did, they never gave him any indication.
There have been multiple times he's almost told them. To get some form of relief - some form of punishment - only for the guilt, regret, and shame to silence him, to choke him.
When Siyeon is fully conscious, perhaps she'll tell their father and brother or possibly tell them all that it's all his fault—and maybe he'll finally get what he deserves for what he did to her.
Once upon a time, it brought him a sick sense of joy to have the attention any way he could get from the cold, shut-off, apathetic girl that Jung-Hwa just wanted to get the chance to know (but didn't know how to reach out to), to be acknowledged by, no matter how horrible his methods.
Jung-hwa was at least self-aware enough to know that he was emotionally stunted and repressed. But he didn't realize just how toxic he was until Siyeon's hospitalization - seriously minorly poisoning her over several years, years. What had he been thinking?
There really was no excuse, he thought, as he leaned against a wall, sliding down into a crouch. Jung-Hwa pressed his hands to his face as another sob escaped from his lips. What would happen now? He idly wondered to himself. He knew that he could never make it up to her, that they could never make it up to her, but he could at least try.
He would never earn her forgiveness, and while he was mostly okay with that, this wasn't about him. This was about the sister he failed, the sister who suffered because of him, the sister he abused, and he would spend the rest of his days fixing his mistakes, repenting for his sins.
He let out one shaky sigh before wiping his tears and standing. He wouldn't fail Siyeon again.
After a few minutes of loitering in the hallway, a nurse finally approached him. Telling him Siyeon had a panic attack, and her weakened body couldn't keep up with the strain, causing her to black out.
Morosely, Jung-Hwa leaves the hospital, walking by the gift shop on his way out. The array of colorful stuffed animals on display captured his attention. He wondered if Siyeon would like one or if she'd find it much too childish - in the end, he bought her one anyway.