Chapter Text
And there's just one question that I'd ask him every time,
“If you really want this, why are you so broken up inside?”
How much deeper can we hide that part of us that just won't die?
Somewhere in shatters lies a heart buried alive.
. . .
Isami wasn’t sure when the gentle mechanical hums of Bravern’s cockpit went from unnerving to soothing, but he was much too tired to be anything other than grateful.
An exhaustion unlike any he’d ever known had seeped deeply into his very skeleton. He was slumped over unceremoniously in Bravern’s pilot seat, limbs heavy as though they were made of lead. He could barely keep his eyes open, the darkness of the cockpit illuminated only by softly blinking status lights ceaselessly tempting him to fall asleep, but he fought against it. There was too much to do when they got back – he’d have time to rest later.
Alas, it was a losing battle, and he inevitably slipped further and further away from consciousness. Though just as Isami was about to drift away completely, an eerie green light, strange but gentle, fell over his collapsed form.
Eyes just barely cracked open and vision blurry, he looked up at the fuzzy mass of green that had materialized before him, far too deep in the haze of fatigue to question what he was seeing. Still, some subconscious part of Isami’s brain tried to match the shape of the silhouette to something he recognized, until the green light answered for him by reaching out with what was most definitely a human arm. A near inaudible gasp escaped his lips when a green hand brushed lightly over his cheek.
The sensation grounded Isami just enough to awaken some logical part of his brain, and his vision finally cleared just enough to make out the features of the face gently smiling down at him.
Smith?
“Isami, are you alright?”
Bravern’s voice rang out through the cockpit as the lights flicked on. Isami, now very much awake, blinked again to confirm what he was seeing was real. The green figure from before was gone, as though it never existed.
“You jumped upright in your seat. You weren’t having a nightmare, were you?” The mecha continued. Isami shook his head.
“I’m fine, Bravern. It’s nothing.” No point in worrying the big guy by admitting you’re seeing dead people.
Isami couldn’t see what Bravern was doing from inside the cockpit, but somehow, he felt the robot nod. “We’re almost back to the carrier. You’ll be able to get some proper rest once we arrive.”
“Huh? Don’t we have to go through debriefings? And probably a bunch of medical exams, and –”
“Don’t worry, Isami. I am privately communicating with your superiors as we speak. I’ll handle everything, while you get your well-deserved rest.”
“But –”
“Isami.” Did Bravern’s voice even come from his mouth? How was it that Isami could hear his smile?
Isami sighed and let the beginnings of a smile creep onto his face. “Yes, Bravern?”
“We saved the world together. We won, hero.”
Hero.
That’s what he was now, wasn’t he? The four of them defeated the final three Deathdrives. Humanity survived. Earth survived.
It felt wrong, somehow. Isami couldn’t shake the feeling that something was supposed to have gone horribly sideways; that at least one of them should have been horribly injured or killed, or some secret ninth Deathdrive was supposed to show up and wipe the floor with them. But that was just Isami’s anxiety, wasn’t it? As much as Isami was expecting to suddenly wake up in some nightmare reality where that raging Deathdrive Ira had ripped a hole in Bravern’s chest, that wasn’t what happened. They succeeded. They were alright.
“You’ve earned this.” Bravern reassured him. Hesitantly, Isami nodded.
Bravern’s external cockpit view flared to life, and for the first time in hours since they’d set off, Isami could see how the ocean beneath them rushed by. Though he’d never admit it, deep down, Isami felt a certain childlike wonder at seeing just how fast they were moving across the water.
Through some miracle of alien engineering, no matter how sudden or intense the mecha’s movements, Isami was never hurt when Bravern whipped through the sky. Even so, he felt the increasingly familiar sensation of his stomach dropping out beneath him when the robot’s trajectory pitched upwards. As they rocketed skyward Isami could peer down to see Superbia flying below them, carrying Lulu in his own cockpit. When they’d first taken flight, the girl had already been half asleep. She was likely getting some much needed rest as well.
Pulling his gaze back up, Isami watched as the colossal aircraft carrier grew closer. After several straight hours of flying, they were home.
Isami’s stomach lurched again – though significantly less this time – when Bravern made touchdown with the runway. The cockpit clicked open, and Isami winced a little at the harsh sunlight on his eyes, moving to cover them with his arm until they adjusted.
“We’ve arrived, Isami.”
“Mhm.” He half-walked, half tiredly stumbled onto Bravern’s awaiting palm, letting himself be gently lowered to the ground. Just as he was about to hop onto the runway, a voice caught his attention.
“ Isami!”
“ Isamiiiiiii!”
Isami looked up to see Hibiki bolting towards him, Miyu in tow.
“Where the hell were you!? You didn’t tell anyone you were leaving, I -” Hibiki collapsed onto her knees just as she reached Isami. “We were worried about you, damn it…”
Superbia calmly strode up behind them, carrying a sleeping Lulu in his palm. “Hibiki, Miyu. The final three Deathdrives have been vanquished. The need to worry is no more.”
Hibiki looked back and forth between Superbia, Lulu, and Bravern, before her gaze once again came to rest on Isami. “Just… don’t ever do that again.”
Isami nodded softly.
“We weren’t the only ones who saw you, Isami.” Now it was Miyu who carried Lulu in her arms.
“Mhm.” Hibiki nodded. “Word spreads fast in the ATF. If you don’t want to deal with all that commotion right now, you’d better hurry up and hide.”
“Yeah.” He agreed. It was all he could manage in his exhausted state.
“Isami.” Bravern finally spoke. “Let’s go in through my room. Quickly.” Isami responded with yet another nod. Hibiki and Miyu appeared to shrink beneath him as he was carried back into the sky.
“I never bothered to visit your room before now, Bravern.”
There was an imperceptible hesitation in Bravern’s next footfall. “Ah, well… now’s the perfect time, isn’t it?”
“What kind of stuff does a super robot own, anyways?” Isami’s tired smile was audible in his words.
Bravern grinned back. “You’ll have to wait and see.”
. . .
Unfortunately, the two weren’t quite able to reach Bravern’s room before getting mobbed by other ATF members. Having to answer everyone’s questions and pose for several pictures, which he imagined would show visible bags under his eyes, left him even more fatigued than he thought was possible. He was about ready to pass out on Bravern’s hand when the mecha finally slid open the doors to his personal quarters.
“Here we are.”
Isami looked around.
There was no nine-meter bed, but there was a super-robot-sized chair in front of what he assumed to be the mysterious hyper-dimensional 3D printer known as “Buildvern.” Isami wondered if this meant Bravern didn’t need sleep, or that he simply didn’t require comfort to do so. On various inbuilt shelves stood “miniature” – taller than a human, yet still smaller than the real thing – replicas of various mecha, and a life size statue of a tokusatsu hero that looked vaguely familiar. Maybe he’d seen a rerun of an episode or two as a child?
“Did you build these yourself?”
“I did! It wasn’t necessary, but I printed the individual parts separately so I could assemble them myself…”
Isami couldn’t help but snicker. The alien mecha was himself a fan of Earth’s mecha fiction.
“You’re such a -” Suddenly, Isami found himself choking on his words. “You’re such a – a dork.” Something hot and wet ran down his cheek.
I’m crying?
“Isami!? Are you alright?” Bravern looked down at Isami with deep concern in his glass eyes.
“I’m fine, Bravern, I… I just -” But the tears wouldn’t stop flowing. Why wouldn’t they stop?
A face as striking as that of a Hollywood movie star.
Blonde hair like fine threads of gold.
A smile that made even the sun seem dim.
An honest gaze that made something deep in Isami’s heart twitch.
Blue.
Green.
“Hurk -” Isami keeled over like he’d been punched in the gut.
“ Isami!”
“I’m fine, Bravern!” The words came out harsher than he intended. “I’m… I’m… Damn it, I’m…”
But Isami could no longer force out the words through his sobs.
“Isami.” Bravern pulled the trembling human up against the crystal on his chest in a gesture analogous to a hug. “You should get some rest.”
Isami couldn’t argue with that.
. . .
“Lulu, Miyu, have you seen Isami anywhere?” Hibiki asked, sitting down at the lunch table across from them both, a tray of Japanese curry in hand.
Lulu shook her head. She had her newly grown hair pulled back into two high buns, a style she hadn’t worn in quite some time. “Lulu hasn’t seen Isami today at all.”
Hibiki sighed. “It’s almost noon…”
“Surely he’s exhausted, after saving the world and all.” Miyu chimed in. “We should give him time.”
“I know that, but…” she poked at her food. “Something still feels wrong. Maybe I should go check on him.”
“Lulu will come too.” The girl exclaimed.
“You don’t have to do that, Lulu. You fought in that final battle too. You deserve to rest just as much as Isami does.”
“That’s exactly why Lulu should go see him! Lulu is a pilot too! Lulu understands!”
“Well… if you insist. But finish your food – Lulu? Lulu!?”
Hibiki didn’t have the chance to finish her sentence before Lulu jumped out of her seat and bolted towards the exit of the cafeteria.
“Lulu, wait a minute!” Hibiki’s curry was abandoned at her spot.
Even as a trained soldier, she still found herself breathing heavily by the time she’d caught up to the deceptively fast girl.
“Lulu? This isn’t Isami’s room, this is –”
Lulu pushed the door open just a crack.
A sliver of light stabbed through the shadowy depths of a room far too disorganized, far too colorful to be Isami’s, with walls covered in Showa and Heisei-era tokusatsu posters and stacks of unassembled Plamo kits occupying an entire corner. There on the floor beside the bed sat third Lieutenant Isami Ao, pulling his knees up against his chest.
For a moment, Hibiki said nothing. “I-Isami, are you…”
Isami only hugged his knees tighter.
“… Isami…”
Lulu, with a facial expression entirely blank, stormed back down the hall.
“Lulu –” But she had already rounded a corner, leaving the two Daidara members alone.
Unsure of what else to do, Hibiki carefully made her way across the messy floor and sat down beside her squadmate.
“You don’t have to say anything,” she reassured him, and then sighed. “I wish I was better at this stuff.”
For several minutes, the two sat beside each other in silence. At some point, Hibiki noticed the tricolor shirt balled up in Isami’s clasped hand, but didn’t press the matter.
“… I fucked up.” Isami’s voice was barely a whisper.
“We’ve all done things we regret.”
“ It’s what I didn’t do.”
“I get it. But…” Hibiki leaned her head back against the bed. “… If any of us could go back and change the past, surely we’d all have done it by now, right?”
“…”
“There’s still time to change the future.”
Isami finally lifted his head.
“There’s something I should do.”
. . .
A few hours later, Isami made his way back to Bravern’s quarters.
“Isami! There you are.” The mech seemed to have the ability to sense Isami’s presence without having to see him. But Isami had already accepted so many of the mecha’s oddities, there was no point in questioning it now. “Did you sleep well?”
“… I wanted to talk to you.”
“Of course, Isami! Is there anything I can do for you?”
Isami shook his head. “It’s not like that.”
“You know you can talk to me about anything, you know.”
“… We’ve been dating since Project Bonfire, right?”
“Isami…!” The mecha seemed joyously surprised as those words, which only made Isami feel more guilty for what he was about to do. “If that’s how you see it, Isami, of course we are!”
“That’s how I saw it, but…” He swallowed. “I’ve decided to break up.”
Isami felt all the air in the room turn to ice.
“I-I-I-Isamiii!? Wh – wuh – where did this come from? Are you really serious, Isami!? Did I do something wrong? Please, let me make it up to you! If you just give me one more chance, I… I…”
“No. It’s my fault.” Isami interrupted. The pain was so clear in Bravern’s robotic features that he nearly winced, but forced himself to keep going. “It wasn’t fair to you. None of this was fair to you. I can’t date you while I’m… still…” He trailed off.
A silence as sharp as a blade cut through the atmosphere.
“Why, Isami?”
“Because,” he whispered, “I’m still in love with Lewis Smith.”