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"Hey, buckaroo. Flip the 'OPEN' sign to 'CLOSED,' wouldja? I'm goin' on a lunch break."
"But, Meowth, sir…?" A brunette young man stammered as Meowth pushed the door to The Cat's Meow open, holding a hand out. He was a new employee, and it showed in his lack of confidence. "Couldn't you just eat here? There's more than enough ramen to spare!"
"Ah, th' ignorance of youth…" Meowth tutted, shaking his head. He stood in the doorway, smiling to himself. "If you spent all your days workin' as a lifeguard, the beach wouldn't look so appealin' for a summer vacation, would it? It'd just be any othah day, pickin' da seashells outta yer soles!"
"I… guess so." The unseasoned employee frowned, even as he went to flip the sign on the front door as he was asked. He didn't seem to really get it.
"Well, them's the perks of workin' for me, kid. I don't pay ya's to think! I pay ya to wait tables. So let dose wrinkles in your noggin rest easy, while Meowth does all the work." The jingling chimes strung to the ramen bar's entrance clattered, as the Scratch Cat pushed the door fully open.
"...Anyways, I'm goin' on break. Fetch yaself a Ramune from the fridge, I'll look th' other way."
Meowth breathed a content sigh as he wandered the streets of Saffron, with his paws folded behind his back. Another day, another Poké in his wallet. Mondo had done him wonders, reprising his offer to let Meowth head his ramen bar franchise, after he'd abandoned his life of crime. No more tip-toeing around depraved cretins and mad scientists. No more Thunderbolts.
Just him, spending his days with his favorite people, making noodles, and living on Easy Street.
"Th' dinah… Mmm, I ain't feelin' breakfast or overpriced burgas." He thought to himself aloud as he wandered through Saffron's commercial district, avoiding trainers and Pokémon on the sidewalk in the meantime. "Bagels… I don' like the chutzpah of that Persian who skulks behind the counter. It ain't worth my blood pressure!" He crossed another option off his list for lunch.
…And another. And another.
"Oy. I think th' monotony's gettin' to me," Meowth sighed. "I'm startin' to see why I was enough of a masochist to chase Twerps for years on end. At least that kept me on my kitty toes."
He stopped at the next street corner, rocking back and forth on his heels. His thin slit eyes glanced sidelong down the next street. The next block always looked a bit run down; not quite the center of economic attention that main street received. The road less traveled, as far as cities went. "Hm. Maybe they got some nice hole-in-th'-wall places, down this way!"
So, the former felon took the road less traveled… Far less traveled. A whistling breeze passed through the side street, and Meowth halfway expected a tumbleweed to roll on by. Brick and mortar buildings looked to be deteriorating, with moss growing over their cracks.
"Griiii!"
"Yipes!" Meowth recoiled, leaping back towards the closest unattended building.
A Grimer had crawled his way out of a gutter, raising his filthy hands in an attempt to intimidate Meowth. He cackled at his success, and then slipped back into the grimy underbelly of the city.
"Jeez louise… They don't teach manners down in those sewers, do they?" Meowth exhaled in annoyance. He walked with less confidence, now, looking for any sign of friendly activity, or at least a business that hadn't packed up and moved out, yet. "Ain't somebody gonna renovate dis part o' town? Compared to the rest of Saffron, it's an eyesore."
"Now, that ain't fair, Meowth!" A low, gravelly voice could be heard. "You should love this dump! After all…" Three large, looming shadows towered over Meowth, having snuck up on him. Two tall and lanky humans were dwarfed by a mountain of a man. "...It fits real well, for a back alley cat like you."
"Hey! Who's got the cojones to, er…" Meowth turned to threaten his accosters, before shrinking in their shadows.
A young man and woman were dressed in Team Rocket uniforms, flanking the man who'd opened his big fat mouth: A huge, muscular, middle-aged man with a more decorated, high tech looking uniform bearing the infamous Team Rocket "R." He was muscular, bearing a mean mug with a square jaw, and a curiously Poké Ball shaped beard. He bore a malicious grin.
"Who? We're Team Go Rocket, that's who, you spineless traitor!" The large man spat on the sidewalk in a show of disgust. "You can call me Cliff. I'm here to bring Team Rocket back to its former glory."
Meowth squinted at the man in disbelief, then waved a paw dismissively. "It's nice to dream, ain't it, Bub? You have fun with dat cosplay." He turned around, folding his arms behind his head, and started to walk away. "Some of us moved on with our lives."
"I don't think you understand, street cat." Cliff spat; his voice dropping to a low, threatening rumble. "Your 'moving on with your life' is exactly why we're here."
"Yeah, you spineless traitor!" One of the grunts barked.
"Backstabber!" The other shouted.
"Yeah? So what?" Meowth looked over his shoulder, shrugging casually. "I don't know if you kiddies're old enough to remember the real Team Rocket, so I'll give youse a history lesson." He turned back to face the trio of criminals, flashing a snide grin and flashing one of his sharp claws. "Bein' a slimy, dishonest backstabber was what made you a Rocket. It was all trickery, cowerin', and sabotagin'. You t'ink an organization that runs on turnin' Pokeymons into cargo runs on honor?"
"You ever heard of 'honor among thieves!?'" Cliff barked back. "Lord Giovanni had a vision, and you walked all over it to save your own hide! Do you know what could've been!?"
"What 'could've been' was a world dat didn't have room for a sometimes-self-respectin' Pokeymon like me," Meowth hissed. "And youse damn right I walked all over it! I danced on his tombstone once, and I'd do it again. Maybe take a wizz on his grave." He cackled.
He could see the grunts' and Cliff's faces contorting with rage. If there was any villainy left in his pudgy little body, it was the enjoyment he wrung out of screwing with these losers.
He grinned wider. "Y'know! Turn it into the world's most famous gendah-neutral bathroom. How's that for societal progress!?" With another laugh, he turned to be on his way.
Unfortunately, he wasn't offered that option. Three flashes of light sprung in his path, quickly taking shape. The first was a Parasect, threateningly clicking their claws. Second was a Golbat, screeching and hovering overhead with erratic beats of their webbed wings.
Third was a Rhydon who towered over Meowth, roaring with ferocity.
"Traitors don't get to just walk away," Cliff spat. "If we can get our hands on at least you, that'll be a big message to Kanto — that Team Rocket's having a revival! You can come quietly…"
Rhydon let out a low rumble, letting the drill atop his head whirr and spin. Its sharp point glimmered under the sunlight, aimed threateningly at Meowth.
"...Or we can do this the hard way."
"Erm…!" Meowth took several steps back, with sweat dripping down the back of his head. "Y'know, I really should be going. I have a shift to get back to, ahahah…!" He poked his paws together. "Youse guys don't wanna hurt the local economy, do ya's?"
The trio of Pokémon glowered at him, showing no signs of humor at all.
"...Cripes. Guess I'm not walkin' outta this one peacefully. Alright, then! You asked for it!"
Meowth leapt into action, jumping high above the grimy sidewalk. Golden lightning flickered around his body, concentrating in the shiny coin atop his head. He fired a Thunderbolt at Golbat.
The lightning made a jagged path towards Golbat, before abruptly changing course. It was attracted to Rhydon's horn, which spun with an awful, grinding noise to accompany it.
Rhydon roared, flexing his stony biceps. Static electricity danced over his body.
"Oy…! Of course he's got Lightning Rod." Meowth complained.
"Nice try! But we came prepared!" Cliff roared. "Use Hammer Arm!"
Rhydon charged, swinging a tremendous arm towards Meowth to clothesline him.
He backflipped out of Rhydon's range, narrowly avoiding Hammer Arm. Rhydon bashed his arm into the sidewalk, tearing the concrete asunder. "Youse gonna have to do better than that!"
"We'll show you better! Golbat, Air Cutter!"
Golbat screeched, flapping their wings to fire a barrage of cutting air currents.
"You t'ink that's gonna stop me?" Meowth charged directly into the flurry, wincing and guarding his face with one of his noodle-thin arms. The harsh air currents stung, but he persisted, lunging at Golbat. "After all d' Thunderbolts I ate, this pain ain't nothin'!" His claws gained a mauve glow.
"Cross Poison!"
Before he could land a Night Slash, though, he cried out; a dark violet poisonous cross slashed into his midsection, sending him tumbling back across the pavement. Luckily, he didn't feel a poison status seeping in, but the damage made him feel sickly, nonetheless. "Oy…!"
He picked himself up, glowering at the three Pokémon who'd accosted him. "You're really pissin' me off. You think it's a good idea, gettin' on my bad side? Huh? Well, newsflash, bubs!"
There was a dark glimmer in Meowth's eyes, as malicious thoughts bubbled to the surface.
"I didn't become a Team Rocket Executive for nothin'."
Nasty Plot had revived his nastier instincts, and sharply boosted his special attack. He took full advantage of the resurgence, swiping his claws through the air with villainous glee. A storm of golden stars accosted Golbat, Parasect, and Rhydon. He'd used Swift.
"Parasect! Wide Guard!" One of the grunts waved her hand. Parasect clicked their mandibles, and an orange, translucent shield covered themselves and their allies. Swift was neutralized.
"Ah, hell. Gimme a break…!" Meowth stammered, slowly taking steps away from the Pokémon opposing him. 'My ranged moves ain't doing jack to these guys. I don't have a choice but t' fight!' With that considered, he lunged at Parasect; his greatest obstacle to using Swift.
His Night Slash was wielded at the ready.
"Use Spore!"
A cloud of green dust clouded the open air, forcing Meowth to skid to a halt and back off.
"Yipes!" He stood unsteady, just out of Spore's range. "I don't got no nose, but if dat stuff gets in my mouth, I won't just be snoozing — I'll be sleeping with th' Magikarp!"
"Tough luck, cat! Use Hammer Arm!"
The wind was suddenly knocked from Meowth's lungs. Rhydon's arm buried deep into his gut, making him caught up spittle, before he flew helplessly through the air. It was super-effective!
"Now, use Surf!" Cliff roared, pointing forward.
Rhydon roared, and a rising tidal wave carried him above the pavement. It was mighty; his special attack fueled by Lightning Rod, from earlier. The wave crashed, pummeling Meowth.
"Ack…! Ptew!" Meowth pulled himself out of the receding tide, shaking his fur out. He was beginning to feel dizzy from the damage he'd taken. 'Alright. Dis stinks. But Surf don't play favorites; their othah Pokémon ought to be waterlogged, too! If I can just get that Parasect…!'
He sprinted through the receding current, with a Night Slash wielded. "Take this, ya overgrown shroom!" With a shriek, he lunged to slash at Parasect. To his horror, they looked unperturbed.
"Spore!"
Parasect bombarded Meowth in a somnic pollen. He rushed to plant his face in the receding waters of surf to wash it, and waterlog himself. "Ack! Phew…!" He lifted his head out of the Surf; his fur drenched and his whiskers drooping. He looked like death. "Y'know… I hate watah."
He shook his fur out, bearing his claws. "Especially wet watah."
"Having a tough time?" The female grunt grinned sardonically, barely hiding her amusement behind the back of her hand. "Parasect's ability is Dry Skin, you know. Water moves help her more than they hurt her!"
Golbat, meanwhile, had hovered far out of Surf's range, leaving him untouched.
"You're beginning to see the power of Team Go Rocket, aren't you?" Cliff taunted, punching a large fist into an open palm. "We came prepared and coordinated to deal with you, specifically!"
"I… guess I should feel honored…!" Meowth took slow steps backwards. Fear was starting to sink into his little kitty noggin. His prospects were looking worse by the minute.
"Feel whatever you want. You're losing, either way." Cliff waved a hand. "Use Rock Blast!"
Rhydon conjured several large boulders in a row, firing them to squash Meowth flat.
"Not on my watch!" Meowth cried, firing a Thunderbolt from his golden amulet. It broke through one Rock Blast after another, before striking Rhydon head on. "T'anks for giving me a bullseye!"
Even if Thunderbolt was going to be directed to him, that didn't mean he couldn't use it!
"Drill Run!"
Unfortunately, that bullseye was coming right towards him. Rhydon stampeded towards him with his head lowered, and his horn extending into a giant, earthy-tinted drill. He roared, stabbing at him. Meowth only barely scrambled out of the way, falling back on his rear. His chest was heaving as he caught his breath.
"Oy… I'm really slipping, these days. Maybe I should get back on Weight Watchers!" Years of peace and justice had, unfortunately, started to make him soft. Sure, he went on the occasional Interpol mission with Looker and Jessie and James, but he was the strategist! He had backup!
Here, he was alone.
"...I gotta get outta here!" The feline scrambled to his feet, sprinting off, slipping between the trio of Pokémon and their trainers.
"Hey! Get back here!" Cliff cried, as all six of his pursuers gave chase.
"Make me, Blockhead!" Meowth swiped a claw through the air, veiling his escape with Swift.
Meowth sprinted as quickly as he could. Sprinted until his legs started to feel wobbly, and his lungs started to burn. At the first opportunity, he rounded a corner and ran… finding himself in an alley with a dead end. There were apartment buildings on either side, with a scaffolding leading up to a fire escape. Between that and a dumpster that, naturally, reeked, it was more-or-less barren and abandoned. At least it was safe—
"Hey! Thought you could slip away from us, did ya!?" Cliff's silhouette cast a shadow, along with his grunts and their three Pokémon. They'd backed him into a corner.
"...Ah hell." Meowth anxiously bit his nail, taking slow steps backwards. "Chat, I may be cooked."
His eyes darted around in a panic, before he spotted the low-hanging ladder to the fire escape. Meowth leapt atop the dumpster, and sprung towards the ladder, swiping his paw at it. He miraculously caught the bottom rung, pitifully swinging from it. With an extra bit of effort, he yanked himself up with both paws, throwing his weight over the runs. "Phew!"
From his vantage point, he had a better perspective of his opponents. Parasect and Rhydon were below him, but Golbat hovered just a bit higher. A lightbulb went off in Meowth's head, then.
'I got it! Lightning Rod won't do jack, if Golbat's closer t'me than Rhydon is! I just gotta use my altitude!' He grinned conspiratorially, as lightning coursed through him and gathered in his coin.
"Oh, no you don't! Golbat! Use Haze!" The male Rocket grunt ordered, as Golbat spat a thick, inky haze that completely enveloped Meowth.
The ex-con coughed and hacked, suddenly feeling his strength drain away. The benefits of Nasty Plot left him, and he was beginning to feel faint. "Damned Haze…" He coughed.
"Cross Poison!"
More toxins cleaved through the air, cutting down the ladder he dangled from. Meowth yelped, hitting the ground with a 'thud.' He groaned, forcing himself to sit up. He was starting to see double. There were several large boulders flying towards him, and they seemed to be multiplying. Meowth scrambled back, narrowly avoiding a boulder that broke into pieces.
"Aw, crud…!" He scooted back and rolled over, scrambling to avoid another large rock.
The breath was knocked from his lungs, once more, as Hammer Arm collided with his back. The follow-through lagged for just a moment, before Rhydon roared and swung his arm around.
Meowth collided with the brick wall facefirst, embedding his shape in it, before tumbling down to land upside down, with his rear in the air. Torchic danced over his head in circles.
"Well… On th' bright side," Meowth groaned, "at least I had a good life. Got Jess and Jim, and our crew… A nice, cozy job I took fer granted… and a handsome Raichu for a hubby and a darlin' Lopunny for a wifey." His vision started to blur, and he resigned to the last catnap he'd ever take.
Just as he started to walk his merry way into dreamland, though, he led out a loud yelp.
A surge of bone-rattling electricity shot through his body, from head to toe. He seized and jerked up, wide-awake all of the sudden. "Hey, hey! What kind of putz jolts a Meowth out of a catnap!?"
He blinked, looking down at his paws. The way they tingled… "Hold on… I know that shock."
A flood of restless electricity bathed the entire alley way in an ambient golden glow, casting long shadows. One shadow in particular dwarfed them all; at the end of the alleyway, one large and rotund figure stood, with sharp, coiled ears, and a long, cable-like tail whipping about erratically.
Garbage and old, crumpled flyers blew through the alley way, kicked up by a strong tempest. A shadow, stretching into a blur, flew over Meowth's head, and perched atop the fire escape's railing. A muscular Lopunny sat with her legs crossed, sporting a black leather jacket, spiked wrist cuffs, a choker, fishnets, and black eyeliner. She gave a buck-toothed grin.
"Nuh-uh. Ain't no goddamn way you thought you'd get away with trashing our hubby." She clicked her tongue, cracking her knuckles.
"Dassah…!?" Meowth blubbered, unable to believe his eyes. "I-is that really you!?" He looked back towards the exit to the alleyway, sniffling. "If youse here, then that must mean…!?"
Cliff and the grunts began to shiver and stammer, slowly backing away towards the alley's exit.
"Where do you think you're going?" The shadowed figure swiped his tail in an arc, kicking up a passing storm of electricity that knocked the criminals off of their feet. Powerful kangaroo feet stomped into the alley, extinguishing lightning beneath his feet with a pitiful fizzle.
Peeks smashed his fists together, leering at the triumvirate and their Pokémon.
"Peeks…!" Meowth's blubbering had turned to full-blown waterworks. "I can't believe it. It's you. Both of ya's! Just in the knick o' time!" He linked his paws over his heart, swooning.
"Pull it together, baby." Hadassah soothed, leaping back from the fire escape to land beside Meowth, working one of her strong arms into a windmill. She spared him an affectionate smile and a wink, before turning her fiery wrath back to the criminals. "We have a battle to win."
"Gah… Damn it! We don't have a choice!" Cliff growled, steeling his composure for the sake of his grunts, and his own survival. His teeth gnashed together. "The goal is to win! Got dat!?"
"Uh… S-sure, Boss!"
"Yeah, about that…!"
Meowth flashed a toothy grin, stepping forward with a confident swagger, as Electric Terrain sent tingles up his spine. He suddenly felt oh-so-lively, again. "Oh, youse done for, now! It's too late to run and cry to Mommy." Malicious intent glimmered in his thin blue eyes, as he schemed.
Nasty Plot bolstered his power once more, and he made full use of it. With a swipe of all six of his claws, he launched a storm of Swift; a glimmering curtain of gold descended upon them.
"P-Parasect! Use Wide Guard!"
Parasect summoned an orange veil, ready to intercept Meowth's Swift.
"Aha-ha, I don't think so." Peeks said darkly, from the other end of the fray. With a terrifying, booming cry, he summoned flashing pillars of lightning that just passed by the Rocket trio.
It wasn't a mistake that Rising Voltage came just short of scorching them, scaring the wits out of them. It went on to collide with Wide Guard's reach; immediately shattering the shield to bits.
Swift battered Golbat, Parasect, and Rhydon all at once.
"S-shit!" Parasect's trainer swore. "Parasect! Use Spore, now!"
Parasect released a cloud of green spores into the group.
Hadassah coolly walked into the infectious powder, yawning as she inhaled it. "Y'know, if you had any brains between all six of your skulls, you'd know that Electric Terrain has this lil' kick."
Lightning and static to spare shot through her stocky body, waking her up immediately. She tapped a paw against her hip, letting the static sizzle. "But, I get it. You must be scared outta your wits." Without warning, she punted Parasect, sending them flying.
She fired an Ice Beam from her mouth, freezing and knocking Parasect out in one shot.
"Sonnova…!" Cliff growled, punching the air. "Rhydon! Use Hammer Arm!"
Rhydon roared in compliance, lunging at the Lopunny with a haymaker prepared.
His fist then collided with solid steel. A jagged, embossed metal shield had come between Rhydon and Hadassah, boasting ornate lightning bolt patterns. The Rock-type's eyes followed the shield, leading up a cable-like tail, finally landing on a Raichu, who stood behind him, with his paws casually on his hips.
"You've got a lot of nerve," Peeks spat, "Swinging on my wife with a cheap shot. And after ganging up on my hubby? Honestly, if you need those kinds of numbers, that's pretty pathetic."
The Raichu's glare chipped away at Rhydon's constitution and resolve. He swiveled around to face Peeks, taking several steps back. King's Shield had halved his attack in one display.
Peeks took the opportunity to punch Rhydon in the stomach, and then backhand him with his paw. He exhaled, raising his lightning bolt tail; no longer metal. "You don't even deserve our efforts. Why don't you and that 'Go Rocket Squad' quit, like the rest of Team Rocket?"
His tail started to smack Rhydon silly, left and right; a pink cartoonish cloud was kicked up in the midst of it. He was using Play Rough. "You know. The smart ones, who went and got a life."
Rhydon stumbled back out of the pink cloud, weary and clumsy. He groaned in pain.
"Meowth!" Peeks shouted. "Take care of Golbat!"
"Eh…!? Golbat?" Meowth stammered. "But, what about Rhydon's-"
"Just trust me!" Peeks pleaded.
Meowth swallowed his tears, and nodded, resolute. "Alright, Nosferatu! You're in for it, now!" He channeled most of his remaining strength into a bright, golden light, finding himself invigorated by Electric Terrain's amplification. His Thunderbolt was stronger. It fired from his gold amulet, cutting a jagged path through the air towards Rhydon; stronger than ever before.
Peeks smiled, and his tail snapped out at lightning speed, tangling around a flustered Golbat. Without warning, he flung Golbat directly between Meowth's Thunderbolt and Rhydon.
Golbat shrieked, taking the full force of the Thunderbolt, falling atop a weary Rhydon's head.
"Now, Meowth!" Hadassah cried. "It's all you!"
"Have I ever let youse two down, before!?" Meowth belted out.
"...Don't answer dat."
He lunged high with a feral cry, hovering over the weary Rhydon and Golbat, wielding long, sharp, mauve claws. He passed both of them, carving a villainous light through the air.
He landed crouched on one knee, with his back to both of his enemies, proud and gallant.
Rhydon grumbled wearily, stomping around to face Meowth. He raised a fist to strike.
Hadassah quietly delivered a vicious knee to his gut, doubling him over.
Meowth was none the wiser. He grinned victoriously at Cliff's forces.
"...Crap. Tactical retreat!" Cliff growled out, as he and his grunts recalled their Pokémon, sprinting for the exit. Before they could even process their opposition, a Rising Voltage sizzled them all.
Several blinding pillars of light coursed before Meowth's eyes, before all three Rockets dropped.
"...And, that's that." Peeks flicked his tail irritably. "Vultures." He sighed, leaving them be for the moment to approach Meowth, frowning as he looked over his partner and his many bruises. He clicked his tongue, cupping the Scratch Cat's chin with his gentle paws. He left a tender kiss on his lips, doting and protective. "You alright, hun? They did a number on you."
Meowth very well could have melted into the embrace. But, he was nothing if not stubborn. "Fine!" He screeched, shoving Peeks off of him. "I'm fine. Peachy. Nothin' I couldn't'a handled on my own. So put the breaks on the pity party, will ya's!?" He walked a short distance away from his partners with his back turned to them; his tail coiling and uncoiling.
Peeks and Hadassah exchanged a look, and bemusedly rolled their eyes.
"...Of course…" Meowth trailed off, his voice falling into a pitiful whimper. "I mighta bruised myself up in that scrap, back there. I took my lumps along the way. So… If one of ya's wouldn't mind giving me a lift back—"
Meowth yelped, as Hadassah lifted him into her arms, bridal style. The Lopunny smiled sweetly, rubbing her cold nose against his cheek. "Don't sweat it. A lift to the Pokémon Center is the least we can do for our Champion."
"Yeah. After we stop by Officer Jenny to drop these fuckers off." Peeks coiled his tail around the three unconscious Go Rockets, dragging them along with him. He cast a smug smile at Meowth.
"Even if you're going to be an obnoxious gloat along the way."
"Hey! Who youse callin' obnoxious, you kangaroo rat!?" Meowth blustered. "I don't gloat, t'ank you very much. I humbly and nobly keep my exploits to myself."
"Pffyeah. Alright, Mr. Hero. Now, come on. Be good, and I'll give your bruises a kiss."
"Oh, bite me," Meowth snapped back. But, as Hadassah giggled behind her paw, he felt his heart start to flutter, once more. Any and all shame towards his individual weakness melted away, in the wake of something far greater — the knowledge that he was never alone.
He sniffled, nestling into his wife's arms, hiding his wide, goofy, squiggly smile.