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Maybe I can feel better

Summary:

( set early in the story , direct continuation of 'difficulty' )
After the disasters of not too long ago, Nayuta finally introduces Ryo to Kenta.
Initially wary of Ryo, Kenta still ends up getting along with him.

Notes:

I spend all the time, all the classes in school, writing this AU. I do not pay attention to class, I'm just scribbling on my notebooks dialogues and ideas and everything... I told myself that I will take my time with this and I won't be too constant, but it gets hard when I'm having fun :)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"Satozuka, I come with someone. I require you to instruct him in the duties that a butler must perform," were Nayuta's words, spoken in a confident and direct tone to his servant—who had hardly arrived to greet Nayuta before he was received with such an order, with no further explanation in between.

“Your highness, what are you talking about?” asked the man adjusting his glasses, noticeably agitated at not having expected such a request, and especially not on a day like this. He looked behind him, and there was Ryo, just staring at him the way a frightened dog would. “Today...”

"Logically speaking, no one but me could really inherit the throne. I have to prepare from now on, and that means having more people working under me. This young man came to me in the rain, desperate and soaking wet, begging me to help him somehow."

 

Kenta would never be against the orders Nayuta asked him, he was always going to trust him no matter what, turning a blind eye to anything wrong as usual. And yet, from time to time, he still had no choice but to question his actions and words, especially when he considered the timing and that Nayuta didn't usually behave like that; it was quite out of place behavior.

“You wouldn't treat a stranger with such kindness,” he said, “if you can even call it that.”

“I have not been thinking rationally.”

"Under stress, you would kill someone."

He clicked his tongue and looked into Kenta's eyes with noticeable disapproval, feeling somewhat cornered. It felt ridiculous to think that someone he knew so closely was looking at him in such a suspicious way. “And if you just do as I say?” “I'll help, but please understand that anyone else would view this behavior with distrust.”

“Jesus, what are you even thinking...”

"Don't worry any further. Please just introduce me to the person."

The white-haired man quickly gave Ryo a glance and made a motion with his hands, a visual command for him to step forward, which he complied with immediately. He took a stepped in front, keeping his head down and holding one of his arms with the other, but when it was time for him to speak, nothing would come out of his mouth.

"He's not good with things like that. His name is Ryo... Akebono. He's younger than you and younger than me. Show him some decency, ok?" Nayuta voiced, and Ryo just looked at him a little surprised at the mention of such a random surname out of nowhere.

"...Nice to meet you, Mr. Akebono. I will try to be a good guide, I have years of experience. I'm not the only person on duty, but because of the time, it's only me. Your Highness, shall I start now?"

"What are you waiting for? Make it quick, more important matters must be taken care of."

Kenta adjusted his glasses one more time and nodded his head, not forgetting to show a slight displeasure on his face regarding what had been brought up. He calmly asked Ryo to follow him around the castle, a request he accepted without complaint.

 


 

"I didn't introduce myself properly, I owe you my apologies," he tried to bring out some conversation, speaking formally. "My name is Kenta Satozuka. Have you had previous experience as a steward?"

"No."

"Understood. Do you know how to wash dishes? Or floors and walls?"

"I'm not good at it."

A hint of confusion flashed through the glass of his glasses. Of course, Nayuta had already claimed that this man approached him out of the blue, though Kenta hadn't expected his knowledge regarding the subject matter to be so low either. 

"You should give it a try. I left some dirty dishes in the kitchen after… what happened to the king, since I had to rush to deal with everything, you can practice with them."

"The king…" Ryo muttered as quietly as he could, his face visibly worried, which again left Kenta confused—but he had no choice but to ignore him. "Yes, I should..."

Upon arrival, the kitchen was relatively tidy-at least compared to the average kitchen, and other occasions in which it had been worse—but Kenta still felt uncomfortable, having sworn initially that it was better. He was not a cleaning freak, yet his need to always be working led him to grab a cloth, wet it, bend down, and start mopping the floor

He was about to ask Ryo to look into the matter with the plates, but even before him, he had already been scrubbing one of them against fabric, using an impressive speed to exterminate any possible stains.

They didn't have much chatter between the two in the time they were working, more focused on doing their work than anything else; especially the shorter of the two, who ended up wiping the floor with a cloth between his foot—with enough firmness to not let it come loose—and his other hand focused on taking care of the table, and simply Kenta's efforts reached a certain point at which his body started begging for a rest regardless of how minimal it was. With sweat beading on his forehead and slight complaints leaving his lips, he leaned back against the table, his legs shaking as per usual.

He removed his glasses, and pushed them aside on the table. “Are you ready yet?” the red-haired man asked Ryo, seeing how even after all this time he was still continuing with the dishware.

“No... I'm still on it,” he replied. The surprise at that statement even took the exhaustion of the whole day off Kenta for a few moments, and Ryo continued. “Still dirty, I'm sure.”

He stepped closer to confirm the boy's assurances were true, but Ryo couldn't be more wrong with what he was saying—the plate was immaculate, under the sun it would do nothing but glisten, possibly being cleaner than it had been in its entire existence.

“You've done pretty well, I'd say it's been clean for a long while now.”

“You're not upset? No one is going to be upset with me?” He asked him, coming to sound purely innocent. “I didn't want to do it wrong.”

"If you ask anyone they're going to say it is clean. I'll take care of the rest, but don't take so long on just one again."

All Ryo did was nod his head very faintly, looking curious and confused as he was already used to the reactions being totally different and aggressive.

There were many occasions where he found himself washing dishes for days on end, while being yelled at for any mistake he made and for the slightest ‘stain’, which were usually things that would be impossible to remove. He had never been told before to stop doing it so soon, let alone that it was enough... It was something so minimal, but pleasant at the same time.

He kept thinking about it, looking at nothing, but that small peace ended up being interrupted in such a way that his neutral expression turned to show only fear; just as minimal things made him feel good, also minimal things made him feel bad, including words.

 

"We would be better off training with something else."

 

All that word brought to mind was the horror he had gone through in his life, shivers ran down his spine multiple times. With desperate eyes he shook his head, about to speak but his vocal cords would not cooperate.

'An extremely unique individual'' thought Kenta, raising an eyebrow as he noted his reaction. Again he couldn't comprehend under what possible way —that didn't involve something odd— Nayuta could have employed this man. From what he could see, he was the complete opposite of what he was  always looking for in someone; faint of heart and pusillanimous.

 

"...Not now? That's fine, though tomorrow we have to look into that." Kenta added to see if he could calm him down, unwilling to deal with this as he finally returned to feeling the heaviness of his legs which he had forgotten about.

"...You're giving me the choice?" Ryo still looked tense, but the knowledge that he had 'some more time of peace' chained a slightly positive reaction for him. Technically, his fear was justified; a verb as simple as training, for all his life, meant enduring horrible physical and mental stress with unpleasant forced labor.

"Looking at the hour, I see no reason why," Kenta replied with a smile, a somewhat awkward one, but it was still one.

 


 

For the rest of the evening, there were no further events of any great significance; the only remarkable thing, if you could call it that, was the stress put on Kenta—or rather, that he had put on himself, entirely of his own accord. There he was, writing until his fingers ached in his notebook, working on every plan of action and moving around a lot; so much work should have made him sick, yet he was not the one who ended up like that.

Considering how atrocious the weather had been the previous day, no one would expect the sun to shine in the blue sky as it did at the moment.  Of course, the landscape was subject to change and could be different at night, but the important thing was to enjoy the warmth while it lasted. Generally speaking, it was a much more peaceful day than the previous one, many going about their lives as if nothing of great severity had happened.

And while everyone went about their chores inside the castle, there wasn't a place where Ryo could be seen, disappointing considering this was supposed to be his 'first day of formal work' besides practice; he couldn't be slacking off, so Nayuta was visibly annoyed when Kenta alerted him to it.

"Just maybe his sleep schedule is different, but still... Ugh, what a pain in the ass." The white-haired man speculated, clutching his head in disapproval.

"We have not checked his assigned bedroom yet, so it's possible he's still there," was his butler's suggestion. 

Even so, Nayuta's annoyance was moderate compared to many other times where he was just livid. Now it was more of an indifferent annoyance; clicking his tongue, shaking and clutching his head in disapproval again when he realized that he still did not check the bedroom that had been assigned to Ryo, which alluded to the fact that the chances of him just sleeping were not low. Somewhat displeased by such an outcome, he asked his present butler to accompany him there.

The door to the room was not locked from the inside, but out of initial precaution they knocked multiple times first; in the absence of answers, they just opened it without a second thought. The scene inside wasn't really bad, just... concerning.

Only being able to noice someone's head when looking in between the opening formed by the wall and the open door, when stepping further Ryo could be seen clutching tightly to the blankets in an attempt to cover himself well. He kept his eyes half closed, filled with a painful tiredness also demonstrated by heavy but slow breathing; a faint "sorry, I'll try to get out now" was mumbled, almost impossible to hear.

“...Shit, standing in the rain for so long really fucks someone up. Whatever, Satozuka, can you take care of this?”

"Your highness, I would never refuse your orders, however I find myself somewhat busy taking care of other matters of utmost importance, I apologize for that. In the meantime, I will prepare a herbal infusion."

"And it's the other servant's day off... Hell, if things keep going like this I'm going to need a fourth one. I have no choice but to stay here myself." Upon his final statement, Kenta nodded his head and walked away with the intention of returning with what he promised

 

Now that it was just the two of them, there was an unwelcome silence. Nayuta kept his brow furrowed for a few seconds, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed—and in truth, he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do in a situation like this. Sure, it frustrated him to see Ryo like this, but it was undeniable that the blame also fell on him to some extent, considering that he asked this very man to stand in the rain as if it were nothing.

He shifted his position, sitting down next to him, and relaxed his face-which still looked annoyed, but that's just the way it naturally was-setting his gaze on Ryo, who was returning it with severe cowardice.

"Are you really this weak?" he asked with his so-characteristic serious tone, that it even made him sound angry—everything about him was growing to be intimidating, especially to such a delicate Ryo. “Stop staring at me like that.”

He quickly obeyed and averted his gaze at the request, still with noticeable melancholy. "I've tried to get up many times, but... my body really doesn't respond well, and my head hurts."

"So, how did you sleep today?"

"...You're not going to do anything to me?" fiddling with his hands, he looked restless.

"Hah? What do you mean by that?"

"Hurt me. Or yell at me, or, I don't know."

Nayuta stared at him silently for a few seconds, processing what his words really meant, and continued, "...it's weird that you make me feel like someone decent."

Almost mimicking her action, Ryo also fell silent, unsure of how he could respond to that. "Oh, and... I woke up badly, but I slept well."

"I don't settle for the bare minimum, so wake up well next time. I'm going to trust you on that."

“Ah... Thanks for the opportunity.”

Notes:

i plan on reading a 141 pages long thesis for the next part about knights and chivalry god send help. im excited though
i have the feeling im gonna need to tag implied/referenced abuse half of the time when ryo is involved in early story works....

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