Work Text:
Y/N suffered from chronic asthma since she could remember. When she was little it was really strong, but now, it wasn’t that bad most of the time. She was so used to it that her body automatically kept calm in those scenarios, and she just tried to avoid worrying people. That’s why Matt didn't know what was happening the first time that she had it in front of him.
She hadn’t told him yet. It wasn’t a secret or anything like that, it just hadn’t come up. Even after she learned about his secret, about the Devil, he was still clueless. Honestly it was pure luck that she hadn’t had an attack in front of him yet. Until that day.
It was a calm Sunday morning. They weren't doing anything out of the ordinary, just enjoying the peace that those kinds of days brought. She hadn’t even noticed it at first. Sometimes that happened, she heard it before she felt it. It was actually Matt the one who noticed something wrong.
They were both sitting on the couch, he was reading some files for their next case, and she was doing sudokus at his side. He tilted his head, like he naturally did, concentrating in the faintest whistle that his super hearing caught. Y/N looked at him for a brief second, convinced that he must be hearing something from the streets or the neighbours, but it couldn’t be very important, or else he would have been moving already.
Suddenly, Matt left the papers written in braille on the coffee table and leaned more towards Y/N. This time, she gave him her full attention, completely confused with what was happening.
— Are you okay? —he asked, settling his hand gently on hers.
— Of course, why wouldn’t I be? —she put her other hand on his cheek, looking into his beautiful unfocused eyes.
— I don’t know —his voice was less than a whisper. He was still too focused on his senses.
— Matty, you’re scaring me, what’s going on? —her heart started to pound strongly on her chest. She had to force a little bit the next breath in, but she didn’t think too much of it.
— Your breathing… It's wheezing —Matt finally said, with his brows furrowed in worry.
— Oh…
She completely forgot to tell him. Nowadays she was so used to it, and it happened in periods of time so apart from each other, that she didn’t see the necessity of turning him into another person who worries about her lungs working. But, she knew it was meant to happen eventually.
— Don’t worry, it’s just my asthma —she said, trying to take the weight off her words.
— Your what?! Are you okay? Do you need anything? Are you breathing?
He started to panic, and she just patiently waited for him to stop talking. When he did, Y/N turned back to him, moving his hand to rest on her chest.
— Matt, honey, you can answer all those questions on your own — he nodded, swallowing and letting out a sigh of relief.
— Why didn’t I know about this?
She just shrugged her shoulders, letting go of his hand, now that she was starting to hear the whistle herself. Her heart was still racing, but that was probably more the fault of her anxiety and this weird situation than her asthma.
— I don't know, it just hasn’t come up —she answered quickly before coughing.
— Do I have to remind you that I know when you’re lying? —he whispered, getting closer to her again.
— I didn’t want to worry you. At first it really didn’t come up. And then, you told me about your secret, and I didn’t want to add my malfunctioning lungs to your list of worries. And I also don’t like when people overreact about this, it makes me feel bad. So I just thought, maybe it was better if you didn’t know yet.
She coughed again right after finishing talking. It wasn’t too bad, at least it seemed manageable for the moment. But, she was also a little bit constipated so that really didn’t help with her struggles to breath.
— Sweetheart, —he started saying, holding her face between his hands— I always worry about you. And, I’m sorry if I overreacted. —Matt pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead before continuing— Now, how can I help you?
— Thanks, Matty —she said under her breath, a warm feeling spreading over her aching chest— There’s really nothing you can do, but thank you, truly.
— Don´t you need an inhaler or something like that?
Y/N was impressed that he knew that. For her it was something obvious and common since she was a kid. But, as she grew up she started to realise how little people actually knew about asthma, or how to treat it. Most of the people she had encountered thought it was like in the movies, unable to take even one breath in and needing an oxygen mask, or worse, like that and with just one dose of the inhaler they were magically cured. That always annoyed her. She had ended up in the hospital a lot of times because of her asthma, and she knew it could get really dangerous and a lot of people had it worse than her, but it was a really exaggerated image of asthma and a misrepresentation of it.
So, she didn’t even bother to explain those kinds of things to most of the people, what an inhaler was or how it worked. Why would she? Most people weren’t interested, even if it could come in handy, or thought that it was magical and that because of movies they knew how everything worked. So maybe her bar was a little low, but she was very impressed with Matt’s knowledge of the inhaler.
— Yeah, but not now —he furrowed deeper his brows, so she quickly explained— It’s not bad right now, and sometimes, some very lucky times, it just goes away on its own.
— So, there’s nothing we can do? —She smiled again, of course he was determined to help her any way he could.
— I'm sorry, not yet. If it gets worse I’ll just get my inhaler.
— No —he exclaimed, suddenly standing up— I will get it, and bring it here just in case.
She laughed and leaned back on the couch as she focused on her breathing while waiting for him to come back. She felt the couch dip next to her, and when she opened her eyes again, Matt was examining carefully with his fingers her inhaler, holding it like it was made of glass.
— What are you doing? —she asked with a quiet laugh.
— I’m trying to figure out how it works —he replied, his cheeks and the tip of his nose turning to a light side of pink.
She looked at him for a brief second, completely stunned. For someone else that must be something completely insignificant. For her, it was odd and heartwarming.
— Really? You don’t need to know that stuff Matt. You’re not gonna take a test on asthma or anything like that —She tried to joke about the subject, like she usually did, but he just smiled softly.
— I mean it, I want to. It could be useful, and that way I can help you if it gets bad.
— Okay, first of all, it’s not gonna get bad. And, second of all, I know how to take it so you don’t have to bother, really, I know this is just a stupid inconvenience.
— It’s not —he quickly answered, covering her hands with his and the inhaler— Teach me, please.
They spent the rest of the morning talking about asthma. She taught him how to use an inhaler, and explained everything she knew about the topic, which was less than she liked to admit. Matt also asked about how it was for her, how did she feel it. And she told him. It was kind of liberating being able to talk about all that stuff with him and not feeling shame or annoyance for doing it. She also explained part of her insecurities attached to this, and was pleasantly surprised when he listened and comforted her without judgement of any kind. She shouldn't have been that surprised, it was Matt she was talking to, but even with him, there was that voice that told her that he was also going to think that it was all stupid and insignificant. However, that voice was wrong.
Since that day, Matt started carrying one of her inhalers with him at all times just in case.
***
They had just won a case that had taken them a few weeks, so the four of them were celebrating at Josie’s. Matt and Y/N had already been dating each other for months, and at this point, Matt knew how to recognise the signs of her asthma. He also knew when to warn her that it seemed to be strong, or if it was nothing to worry about. That always helped her calm down even more because sometimes she doubted herself, thinking that maybe it was stronger than she thought, but she always had him to reassure her.
The ambience in Josie’s wasn’t the best for her. The last couple of days, there had been horrible weather which always worsened her asthma. And that, plus the dust and the clammy environment of the bar didn’t help.
The four of them were sitting down on a table in a quiet corner of the bar. She had started noticing a little whistle in her breathing and the tiniest bit of pressure since a few minutes ago, but she was determined to stay there. She was having such a great time, she didn’t want to be a buzzkiller. Y/N knew that once she stood up to take her inhaler, the conversation would move around that and everyone would be watching out in case she need it something.
Matt had whispered in her ear just a few seconds after she felt it, but she ignored him. Since then, Matt hadn’t taken his attention off of her. Knowing how stubborn she was, he knew she wouldn’t give in and she was going to hold on as long as possible.
The conversation carried on, and she was getting so distracted, that she even started to forget about her asthma. Maybe it would just go away. And that was, when Foggy told the joke about the “avocados”. It always made her laugh. In fact, Foggy told it because he saw how nervous and serious she was all of a sudden.
She laughed so much that she instantly started coughing. It wasn’t the first time that she had asthma, or that it got worse, because of laughter. That was probably the worst case in which she could get asthma. It made her feel terrible afterwards.
Y/N tried to suppress her cough a little, while searching in her purse for her inhaler. She wasn’t going to take it in front of them, it would just win her more weird looks, so she thought the best thing was to go out into the cold night air.
— Y/N, are you ok? —Foggy asked, worried for her friend.
— Yes, it’s just my asthma —Both Karen’s and Foggy’s eyes widened, so she calmed them down— Don’t worry, it’s fine. I’m okay. I’m just going outside to take my inhaler, and I’ll be back in a second.
She started heading out, and Karen’s and Foggy’s gazes went straight to Matt. He could feel them waiting for him to confirm what she just said.
— It’s not really serious, guys. I promise, I can hear it.
— Either way, you should go with her. —Karen said, just as Matt took his cane and started to get up.
— Make sure she’s okay, please —Foggy added, still a little worried about her.
— I was planning on it. —Matt laughed softly at their worry— I’ve got it, don’t worry.
She stumbled through the crowd, suddenly needing to get out of there as fast as possible. It was starting to get worse, so she needed to breathe fresh air immediately. When she finally got out, she took a deep breath, which whistled loudly, and made her chest and stomach hurt. Looking around she couldn’t find any benches near her and she really needed to sit down so she wouldn’t get dizzy when taking the inhaler, so she sat down on the side of the pavement.
She was in the middle of taking it, when Matt appeared in her vision, and sat down next to her. He waited patiently for her to finish, and while she was holding her last dose, his hand found her free one. She slowly exhaled the air, and focused on taking deep breaths.
— How are you feeling?
She thought of a few answers: tired, sick, angry, and that was just off the top of her head.
— How do you think? —she exhaled again, letting go of Matt’s hand and starting to fidgeting with her trembling ones—. I hate this. —she exclaimed, punching her chest, which she regretted immediately—. Asthma is a bitch. It sucks and no one seems to notice it. My chest hurts, because of my damn medicine now my heart is racing like a maniac and I can’t stop trembling…
Her voice faltered, and Matt wrapped his arm around her shoulders, holding her hands with his other one, trying to keep them still.
— I’m tired.
— I know, it’s okay —He kissed her head and rubbed circles in her hand — Come on, let’s go home.
— No, I don’t want to go. I hate that this happens, but now they’re gonna be worrying about me, and I don’t want that.
— We can do whatever you want, but we both know right now you’re tired and need to rest —he said, moving his hand to cradle her face and smiling softly at her.
— I don’t want to ruin your night. You barely go out, you should be able to enjoy an evening out with your friends.
— You don’t have to hold on because of me. That’s the last thing I want. And, we’ve been here long enough, they will understand —He kissed her lips softly— Let me take you home, sweetheart.
She pressed her forehead against his, and breathed deeply a few more seconds before nodding slightly. The medicine was starting to kick in, and she was truly tired. If she went back inside she wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything. As much as it bothered her, Matt was right. She needed to rest.
Matt stood up right away, and offered her his hand helping her stand up. Her breathing was already starting to feel normal again, so luckily she didn’t get too dizzy moving. However, although they were a few blocks away from Matt’s apartment they took a cab there. Y/N assured him that she was more than able to walk, and he knew it. But, Matt being his worrying and protective self, didn’t let her. He was even willing to carry her in his arms if she didn’t want to take a cab.
When they entered the apartment, Y/N went straight to the bedroom without even turning the lights on. She already knew the place like the palm of her hand, and the bright billboard in front of their windows, illuminated most of the way. Matt walked a little slowly behind her, giving her some space. He could still hear her quick heartbeats, and how her body wasn’t completely calm yet.
Y/N changed her clothes quickly, and got in bed facing the wall. A few seconds later, the bed dipped behind her, and Matt wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing a kiss on her temple. She sighed, trying to relax her body but failing completely.
— Relax, it’s just us —Matt whispered in her ear.
— I’m sorry —she trembled, a tear slipping down her cheek
She felt stupid and childish for crying over this situation. This had been happening her whole life, she should be used to it by now, but that fact just made her feel worse. Like there was something unfixable with her, and it was really frustrating.
— You have nothing to be sorry about —he quickly answered.
She turned to face him, while he moved his hand to cradle the side of her face. She smiled to the touch, trying to keep her hands from shaking.
— I do —her voice was less than a whisper, but Matt heard the pain in her tone—. I whine and complain about this when I really shouldn’t. There are bigger problems than mine in the world. For God’s sake, you’re blind and I’m the one complaining.
She said that bit louder than she meant to, and she quickly shut her mouth and apologised again. Matt let out a soft laugh and kissed the tip of her nose, and then her lips. He pressed their forehead together again, and caressed her cheek.
— I’ll repeat it as much as I have to. You don’t have anything to be sorry about, sweetheart. Don’t compare yourself with others. This is something that has been affecting you your whole life. You’re tired and sometimes it gets too much. I get it, believe me.
She breathed in his scent, and moved closer to him, both wrapping their arms around each other, trying to be as close as possible. He calmed her down, and made her feel safe. He comforted her, Matt was her home.
— What did I do to deserve you? —she mumbled against his chest.
— I think it’s the other way around —he answered, pressing a kiss to her head— Now, get some rest.
***
It was a cold winter night in Hell’s Kitchen, and Matt was patrolling the streets like every other night. Although he had to step in on a few situations, overall it was a pretty calm night. He was jumping from one rooftop to another, going to a nearby street where he thought he was hearing some trouble. That was when he heard her. They were a few blocks away from each other, but Matt could recognise her heartbeat miles away. It was speeding up fast. He made a 180º turn, and went straight to her. He was on his way, when his phone vibrated.
— M-matt —her voice sounded breathy, and she coughed a few times.
— Y/N, what’s wrong? —he asked out of breath because he was going as fast as possible.
— Okay, don’t freak out —That definitely didn’t help to calm him down— But, I’m going to the hospital.
— What?! —Matt exclaimed, jumping from a rooftop to another, almost losing his balance.
— I said don’t freak out —she tried to laugh, but she coughed again— I’m having an asthma attack. My oxygen saturation is really low, and my meds aren’t doing much. So, I called Foggy, and he’s right now on his way to pick me up and drive me to the hospital.
— But, are you okay? Why didn’t you call me before?
— It’s fine, don’t worry —this time she did laugh a little. It was heartwarming but needless his concern— And, I called Foggy first because I can’t drive, and you certainly can’t either. —A knock on the door was heard in the background, and Matt let out a sigh of relief since she wasn’t alone anymore— That must be Foggy, I’ll talk to you later.
— No, wait, I’m on my way.
— You don’t need…—She was going to protest, but she realised who she was talking to, so she rectified— Okay, meet us at the hospital.
When Matt arrived he was still wearing his black suit, and he had just taken off the piece of clothing used for covering his face changing it for a pair of his red glasses. Luckily that night he hadn’t taken the Devil’s suit because it needed fixing. He went running into the front desk. Once they told him where Y/N was, he kept rushing that way, trying to focus between all the people there, trying to find her. When he was getting closer, he heard her heartbeat, and a few seconds later he heard her talking with Foggy. At least it sounded like she was okay.
She was in a wide room with a few hospital beds divided from each other with thin curtains. Hers was open, so Foggy and her saw Matt racing towards them. Foggy quickly got up and let the chair free for Matt, but he didn’t notice at first, too focused on kneeling down next to her and wrapping her face with his hands.
She put her hands on his wrist, caressing them, trying to calm him down, especially because of what he was about to feel. It didn’t take long before his hands found the plastic oxygen mask wrapped around her mouth and nose. He could feel the air getting out of the mask against his palms. She smiled softly and took his hands on hers.
— Matty, I’m fine.
— No, you’re not. You have a fucking oxygen mask on. —he tried to keep calm, but adrenaline was still roaming his body.
— Buddy, she is going to be fine —Foggy interceded, leading his best friend to sit down on the chair.
Matt wrapped his hands around one of hers the instant he sat down, and didn’t let go. Foggy started to explain to him everything the doctor told them and the medicine they had given to her, but honestly, he wasn’t able to focus. Matt was too distracted hearing her body, making sure she was alright. But the hospital was too loud, and the machines next to them and the oxygen mask didn’t let him hear her well enough.
— I’ll leave you two alone. I’ll be back in a bit. If you need anything, call me. —Foggy said, pointing at Y/N with a wary look.
She nodded and thanked him for the millionth time that night, before he left. When she turned to look at Matt, he was passing his free hand through his hair, and squeezing hers with the other. Y/N moved his hand, and softly passed her fingers through his messy hair. Matt let out a sigh, and scooted the chair closer to her.
— Matty, really, I’m fine. —He nodded, although he wasn’t still very convinced. How could he? She was literally in a hospital bed— I would tell you to listen to my heartbeat, but right now is going faaaast —She ended extending the last vocal, and laughing at herself.
She felt truly fine, now that she was there. The oxygen mask always made her very hyperactive and talk too fast. She felt like she could be awake for days.
— I know it looks bad, but… Well you can’t really see how it looks, but believe me, it looks bad. —she laughed again, before realising what she just said.- Sorry, the oxygen mask always makes me talk too much and too fast, and I can’t control it —she cringed at herself, but for the first time since he had arrived, he let out a small laugh.
— It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re feeling okay —Matt smiled and kissed the palm of her hand.
— I feel more than okay. Right now, I could jump through rooftops like a ninja with you —she said a little bit too loud, and she shushed herself before both of them cracked up— Sorry —she apologised, still laughing.
— It’s fine. Honestly, when you called me, I imagined the worst case scenario…
— Matt Murdock picturing the worst case scenario? Nooo —she sarcastically said, earning a roll of his eyes and a charming smirk.
— Like I was saying… I thought I was going to find you…— his tone turned serious instantly— I don’t know, connected to wires, unable to breathe or something…
— Well, in your defence, you did find me attached to an oxygen mask, and I couldn’t breathe really well moments ago so… —She laughed again and kept a smile on.
— How can you be so chill and optimistic about it? —he asked with a tiny smile back on his lips.
— Honestly, I know it’s weird, but since I was a kid I’ve always preferred taking this situation with humour. I mean, everyone around me was worried enough for me, I didn’t need to add myself to the list of people freaking out.
— Fair enough — he chuckled, feeling how she was leaning closer to him, like she was about to whisper a secret.
— Also, this mask helps a lot with being giddy and chill.
— Yeah, I’m noticing that.
He was going to laugh, but he froze when he felt her cold hands at the side of his face. She cradled his face, and passed her thumb through the crinkle in the middle of his brows. He hadn’t even noticed that he was still frowning a bit. Then, her hands moved slowly to the side of his red glasses. She waited a brief second, silently asking for permission, and when he nodded she took them off, and let them on the tiny desk. She looked at his beautiful and filled with worry eyes, and smiled.
— My sweet Matty, you were really worried about me, weren’t you?
— Of course I was, sweetheart. I always worry about you.
— I know —she said, putting down her mask for a brief second, kissing his forehead— But everything is okay now. I promise, it’s okay Matty.
He slightly nodded against her lips, and wrapped his arms around her back, pulling her close. After a few seconds, she let go of him, and put the mask on again. She moved around on the bed, away from him. And, for a second, he thought she was going to let go of his hand, but it was the contrary. Y/N patted the side of the bed that she had left free, and indicated to him to lay down with her.
Matt was at her side in an instant. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, while he let her fidget with his other hand. She started rambling about random topics that came to her head, without filtering the information. She even explained in great detailed what had been Foggy’s reaction to her call, and the face that he had while driving her to the hospital. Matt couldn’t help but laugh loudly when she described as “it looked like he was going to have a heart attack and jump off a cliff at the same time”.
— Okay, I need you to confirm something for me.
— Go ahead —he said, smiling, and intrigued.
— When I say this to people they are too preoccupied with me being in a hospital with a mask to tell me, but since you can’t see me… Don’t tell me I don’t sound like Darth Vader with this mask? —she asked and then went ahead to say the line “I am your father” trying to imitate his voice as best as possible.
Matt started laughing so much that his stomach and cheeks hurt. She was still forcing the breathing and the voice, waiting for his answer.
— How would I know? —he simply answered with a wide smile, that Y/N barely saw but she loved.
— Come on, I know Foggy has made you watch them. And I can imagine you two, as college students, with Foggy explaining everything to you with great detail so you wouldn’t get lost.
— Okay, that’s very accurate. You kinda sound like him, yes.
— Yes! —she exclaimed triumphantly.
— And, yes he did over explain everything on the screen so I would understand everything, and maybe I forgot to tell him that I saw them as a kid before getting blind.
— No, you didn’t —her tone was overly surprised and her eyes went wide— Poor Foggy —she laughed
At that very moment, Foggy entered the room, with a few bags of food and a couple of bottles of water. They both started laughing when he came close, and Foggy looked at them confused but smiling nevertheless.
— What? Were you guys talking about me?
— Matt was just telling me about your college years.
— Well, don’t I have stories about our dear Matty… —Foggy started to say, taking the now free chair.
Y/N had always felt like her asthma was something annoying for her and for those around her. But with them, it felt a lot easier, like she was not that much of a burden. At least, at that moment, she didn’t mind being at the hospital with a mask on her face, because she was with them. They comforted her in ways she thought impossible. They help her not feel lonely in those moments when she used to feel the loneliest and weirdest person in the room.