Work Text:
The clock hits midnight. The date? January 1, 2025. This is it. The year Shayne does the splits.
A few days after New Years' Day, he makes a TikTok about his desire to do the splits to let his fans hold him accountable. And for the month of January, he seems to be keeping his word. He adds a short stretching exercise that focuses specifically on his legs into his morning gym routine and manages to keep up with it everyday. Courtney notices that he's spending a bit longer at the gym each day, but Shayne doesn't update even her on his progress. "I'm just not gonna tell anyone. Like, you're not gonna know. I'm not gonna give updates. It's just gonna happen. Gooch to ground," as he said in his TikTok.
In February, Shayne stays consistent, despite missing a few days of stretching. The first day he forgot to stretch, he didn't realize until he had a moment to think about it while filming a Smosh Mouth episode with Ted Nivison. As Ted and Amanda began talking about Massachusetts, leaving him unable to contribute to the conversation, he began to dissociate and thought about what his day was like so far, when he realized he forgot to stretch. He felt a pang of disappointment, feeling discouraged because of his forgetfulness. Amanda noticed his disappointed expression, assuming it was because of the fact that he wasn't being included in the conversation.
"He doesn't like being left out," she jokes, trying to bring him back into the conversation. He laughed it off, and it distracted him from his previous thought, which was helpful considering that he remembered that moment later in the day, thankful that Amanda distracted him, as he now found the motivation to persevere and continue despite forgetting. This even encouraged him to continue during the other few days where he forgot due to being busy with other projects.
In March, Shayne remembers the leg stretching contraption Ian and Anthony got him for a Flashback episode. He finds it in his basement and puts it to use again, realizing it still works pretty well. He begins to use it more often, and it invigorates him with a new sense of motivation. He doesn't forget a single day of stretching. At lunch, even Angela noticed the newfound passion and motivation in Shayne that extended beyond his dedication to stretching for the splits.
"Hey, I've noticed you've been a lot more motivated recently. I need whatever supplements you've been taking," she compliments with a smile.
Shayne laughs, glad someone noticed. "Yeah, I've been working out a bit more recently and I can definitely feel a new sense of rejuvenation. Maybe you should 'go to the gym' more," he jokes, referencing the videos Angela made to motivate herself to go to the gym.
She rolls her eyes but continues to smile. "Yeah, maybe I need to make more motivational videos since you find 'Affirmations with Angela' so funny."
In April, Shayne brings the leg stretching machine to work, beginning to use it during his breaks. His coworkers poke fun at him, but he knows they're just joking. However, this gives them ideas. One lunch break, Courtney, Amanda, Angela, Chanse, and Spencer discuss Shayne's progress while he's still preparing his lunch.
"Have you guys seen Shayne stretching his legs during breaks lately?" Angela says.
"Yes, and he looks ridiculous," Spencer responds.
"Seems like he's really dedicated though," Chanse chuckles.
"Honestly, at this rate, he can probably do a split already," Courtney adds.
"So true," Amanda agrees.
They all laugh. Then, Courtney comes up with an idea. "Oh my god... You know what'd be funny?" Courtney chimes.
The group is speaking in hushed whispers when Shayne walks up to their table. The only thing he manages to grasp from the conversation is Chanse's "Let's ride."
"What're you guys talking about?" Shayne asks.
"Oh, nothing..." Angela reassures him. But they all look at each other with smirks on their faces, and Shayne's eyes narrow at them suspiciously, clearly confused. They don't say another word, so Shayne slowly sits down.
"Okay..." he says with hesitation.
The conversation continues as normal, and Shayne assumes that whatever they talked about wasn't really that important. It isn't until a random Tuesday when he realizes what they were actually talking about.
One day, Shayne walks into the Smosh office and realizes no one's there. He checks his watch, wondering if he came early. Nope, he came at the same time he always does. Where is everyone? Shayne thinks. Then, he remembers that Courtney left early this morning because of an emergency meeting. He didn't think it was unusual until now. Could that be the reason why no one's here?
He begins searching the whole building. The editing bay, lunch area, art department, meeting room, storage, everywhere... no one. Is this a prank? April Fools' Day already passed, he thinks. There's only one area he hasn't checked yet. The stage rooms. He left them for last in the event that he could disturb a recording session, but it seems like it's his only resort.
Shayne walks in and immediately notices a black curtain covering the entrance to the sets. It's dark, but the lights on the Pit stage are on, and it's bright enough for him to make out the curtain. However, what he doesn't notice, too distracted by the oddly placed curtain, is a banana peel on the floor. As he takes a step closer to the curtain, he steps onto the banana peel and... whoosh! He slips. But instead of falling on his ass, he fell into a... split.
"Ow!" Shayne yelps. But it didn't hurt as much as he expected it to. He looks down and realizes what just happened. He did a split, gooch to ground. When he looks back up, the curtains open and reveal the whole Smosh cast and crew hiding behind it. They're smiling, cheering, applauding, and screaming in excitement for Shayne.
"You did it!"
"Shayne did a split!"
"Yay!"
"Woohoo!"
After a brief moment of confusion, Shayne begins to smile. Someone helps him stand up, and he high fives everyone, grinning happily. As it turns out, this was planned all along. His coworkers purposefully hid and placed a banana peel for him to slip on, hoping for him to slip into a split. And it worked. Shayne did the splits in 2025, and all that stretching paid off.