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English
Series:
Part 5 of Yes, Minister
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Published:
2025-04-14
Completed:
2025-05-04
Words:
2,946
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4/4
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Artificial Intelligence

Summary:

- Minister Hacker learns about Artificial Intelligence and wants to implement it in the Ministry of Administrative Affairs.

- Bernard is enthusiastic; Sir Humphrey less so.

- Once more, Sir Humphrey tries to find a way to derail the Minister's plans.

Notes:

Chapter 1: A new idea for Jim Hacker.

Chapter Text

It is seven thirty am in Jimmy Hacker's house. Minister Hacker is drinking his coffee and eating a pancake his wife has made. Their daughter though...

"Lucy," Annie Hacker says, "why don't you eat your breakfast? Why are you glued on your smartphone?"

"I was reading today's news," Lucy replies. "They are so exciting!"

"What is so exciting about them?" her father asks. "Another celebrity getting married or getting divorced? Or another one posting his or her pictures from an exotic location?"

"Well, sort of. I was looking at a celebrity's pictures. She has more than a million followers on Instagram. She is not an ordinary celebrity though."

"What is so different about her?" Annie asks.

 "She is not real. She is an AI generated model."

 "Really?" her father asks. "Let me see."

 

 After a few minutes...

 "She is so gorgeous," he says, full of enthusiasm... until he realizes he complimented a woman she is not his wife in front of his wife!

 "I mean," he says, trying to patch things up, "she is technically perfect. Her hair, her eyes, her chest... I mean her body. She really looks like a human!"

 Realizing her mother is not exactly pleased by her father, Lucy tries to change the topic.

 "You know Dad, this is not the only area Artificial Intelligence used for. For instance, we constantly use it in University."

 "That is very interesting," her father replies. As an experienced politician, he knows when someone offers him an opening to avoid an unpleasant conversation.

 "Yes," she says. "For starters, we have an AI system that automatically replies to common questions we have such as when a lesson it to be cancelled, etc. It.  We also have AI systems for research. They are excellent for reviewing huge volumes of data very quickly, giving us directions."

Jim Hacker's eyes widen and a huge grin appears on his face. His wife smiles. She knows exactly what that means. So does his daughter.

"Lucy, your father just entered Minister Hacker mode."

 

Nine am...

Jim Hacker enters the Ministry of Administrative Affairs. He still has that huge and wide grin on his face. That is something Bernard Wooley, the Minister's Secretary, immediately notices.

Puzzled, Bernard visits Sir Humphrey, the Ministry's General Secretary.

"And apart from the grin," Bernard tells the senior bureaucrat, "he also had a spark in his eyes. What could that mean?"

"After thirty years of experience," Sir Humphrey replies, "and after having observed countless Ministers, I know the exact meaning of this. It means trouble."

"Trouble? of what kind?"

"The far-reaching and unforeseen consequences one."

"Are you sure about that, Sir Humphrey?" the younger man asks. "I mean, he might have some new ideas for us."

"My dear Bernard, it is always trouble when a Minister has new ideas."

 

Thirty minutes later, Bernard and Sir Humphrey are in the Minister's office. Jim Hacker still carries the wide grin on his face.

"Good morning, gentlemen," he says. "I had a greet idea today while having breakfast."

"Buying us free espresso machines?" Bernard asked.

"No, I mean something great, fundamental. Can you guess what?"

"Buying us new computers?" Bernard said.

"Sort of. Gentlemen, I am going to introduce Artificial Intelligence to our Ministry!"

"That is quite extraordinary!" Bernard says, full of enthusiasm. "It will fundamentally change everything we do!" Sir Humphrey notices the enthusiasm in the man's voice.

"Yes, Minister," Sir Humphrey says, "but we don't have an AI system installed in the Ministry. And as far as I am concerned, His Majesty's Civil Service has no such system installed either!"

It was at the next second that Jim Hacker said the one word every senior civil servant is scared of.

"Exactly, Sir Humphrey," Hacker says. "We are going to... **innovate!**"

 

Back in Sir Humphrey's office...

"Innovate? Innovate?" the senior bureaucrat says. "It is as bad I was afraid of."

"Don't you think you exaggerate, Sir Humphrey?" Bernard replies. "After all, many innovations have benefited us. I really believe it will be the same with AI."

"So does our Minister. That is why he asked us to find the best system for the Ministry."

"Yes, I read the email. He wants us to propose him the best possible AI system to install until the end of the day."

"Not an easy task for certain. There are so any different to choose from."

"Correct, Sir Humphrey. There is OpenAI, Google Gemini, Microsoft Copilot, DeepSeek, Grok, and so many others."

"True, Bernard. But the most fundamental question is another: do we really need Artificial Intelligence?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Bernard, what I mean is..."

Chapter 2: Jevons Paradox

Summary:

Bernard argues that AI will increase productivity. Sir Humphrey counters him with the Jevons Paradox.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"... that there will be implications?"

"Such as?" Bernard asks.

"First things first," Sir Humphrey says. "Question One: why would a politician want to introduce an AI system to his Ministry?"

"To improve the various processes by increasing efficiency and productivity."

"No, Bernard! I mean the real reason why, not what he says to the press."

"Oh, well... To generate good publicity for himself as a smart and innovative politician. The press will love him, the public will love him, and he will greatly increase his odds of reelection."

"Not to mention inner-party politics. All that good publicity helps his political party as well. He becomes more valuable and improves his relative position within the party. His chances of getting selected for reelection increase; his chances of remaining Minister improve; his chances of taking over a bigger Ministry... well they go up as well."

"But aren't many politicians also concerned with serving the public and helping the civil servants under their supervision do their jobs better?"

"Far fewer than you imagine, Bernard. And their actions often make things worse, despite their good intentions."

"I see," the Minister's Secretary says. "But how does it relate to Artificial Intelligence?"

"Well, Bernard, Artificial Intelligence is the hottest topic to discuss nowadays. Everyone is aware of it and its rapid development. You have already guessed how much Minister Hacker will benefit from getting involved in it."

"You already said it yourself, Sir Humphrey. But what about the consequences for us? Won't AI benefit us?"

"Well, Bernard, let me ask you this: in what ways will AI assist us? Can you name me a few?"

"For starters, it will help us reply to emails faster. You know how many emails we have to send and receive on a daily basis? AI can read the emails for us and draft answers to them. It will save us a tremendous amounts of workload."

"Not so fast, Bernard. Let me ask you this: what is the most time-consuming part of writing an email? Writing the first draft? Or correcting and editing it?"

"Well, drafting and correcting. Most first drafts are mediocre at best."

"In other words, we are going to need human interference to edit the drafts AI sends. And since you won't be the one writing the first draft, it will require more time editing it, because AI won't have added all the content you would in the first draft."

"That is correct, Sir Humphrey."

"Not much time saving here then."

"Sadly, not,” Bernard admits. “But AI will still bring us a lot of other benefits. For example, we can use it to summarize lengthy texts. We can also use it to generate early drafts of reports, memos, etc."

"OK, I will grant AI that," the senior bureaucrat says. “But what about second order effects?”

“What second order effects, Sir Humphrey?”

“For starters, let’s examine report generation. If AI can help us draft more reports, what will happen to the quantity of generated reports?”

“I don’t know. Will it really change?”

“It will increase, Bernard. And there is a great reason for that. Are you aware of the Jevons Paradox?”

“Yes, Jevons was a 19th century economist who observed that whenever a resource becomes cheaper, we tend to use more of it. For example, if we buy a car that burns less gasoline, we are going to use it more often. But by using it more often, we’ll end up spending more gas compared to our previous car.”

“Exactly, Bernard. The same applies to AI. The moment we introduce it, it will become faster and easier for the various departments to generate more reports, rules, etc. We are flooding in a sea of rules and regulations already. AI will turn that sea to an ocean!”

“But don’t you think it is a wrong comparison, sir? I mean, isn’t the purpose of bureaucrats to create as few rules as possible? I mean, the more rules we make, the more time we’ll need to check them, maintain them, etc.”

“In theory yes,” Sir Humprey says. “In practice though, why are rules and regulations made?  No, it’s not only to address important issues. It is also to give bureaucrats a way to feel and seem important. One department introduces a new regulation, what will the other departments do? They will scramble to introduce new ones to show their Minister they are not lagging behind in productivity.”

“I think the same applies to a higher level,” Bernand says. “Between Ministries.”

“Of course. Each Minister wants to give a good impression to the Prime Minister. The competition there is much worse of course, because the budgets and the egos are bigger.”

“And that is why the rules, the laws, and the regulations constantly expand.”

“Yes, Bernard. More rules in number, and more pages in average for each one of them. And AI will accelerate that process.”

“At least AI will help us summarize those rules.”

“That is good,” Sir Humphrey agrees, “but it will not help us. Granted, we are going to spend -on average – less time for every rule, but since the number of rules will increase…”

“And if it increases that much, the amount of time needed to read them – even summarized – might increase.”

“Not to mention that a summary might leave important details out.”

“Yes,” Bernard says, “meaning we are going to read the whole thing on our own anyway.”

“And there is even more going on here?”

“Like what, Sir Humphrey?”

“Well, Bernard, like…

Notes:

The Jevons Paradox is a real phenomenon and that is its real name. The description Sir Humphrey and Bernard did in the chapter is an accurate one.

Chapter 3: Intelligence vs Intelligence

Summary:

Sir Humphrey continues his analysis. His next point is about how AI could replace humans in various tasks.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Well, Bernard, like… replacing us.”

Bernard Wooley gives Sir Humphrey a puzzled look.

“You are talking about science fiction now, Sir. No matter how good Artificial Intelligence is, it cannot replace humans on core skills. For example, AI cannot make judgements, they cannot make decisions on their own, and they cannot act without human supervision. AI can only do specific tasks that require specific skills, and not much more than that.”

“That might be correct,” the senior bureaucrat replies, “but it might be more correct than you assume.”

“I am curious now, Sir Humphrey. What do you mean?”

“Well, Bernard. Apart from AI, who else only performs a very limited variety of tasks that only require a very specific set of skills?”

“People doing repetitive jobs: factory workers, bureaucrats, and… Hey! Wait!” Bernard stops, having realized what he just said.

“That is, people like us!” he continues.

“Exactly,” Humphrey replies. “Let’s face reality. We the people of the Civil Service are not thinkers, or scientists, or innovative entrepreneurs. It is doing the same thing, all day, every day. Write a memo, correct a memo, publish a memo, attend a meeting, then another meeting, etc., etc. I mean, can you tell me the most exciting thing that happened in your workday during the past three months?”

“Well, let me thing about it.”

 

Three minutes later…

“I think,” Bernard finally replies, “that the most exciting thing was our espresso machine. It went kaputt, so we bought another one.”

“Hardly worth mentioning,” Sir Humphrey says. “And it happened five weeks ago, correct?”

“Yes, correct.”

“Let’s face it, Bernard. If the most exciting thing we can think of was about an espresso machine we replaced, or about a joke someone said during a teleconference, then what does it mean?”

“That our job itself is so boring there is nothing of value to discuss about. That we are filling our days with meaningless activity. No initiative, not interesting tasks, nothing. Just paperwork upon paperwork. AI can easily do those tasks. They don’t require much thinking at all. You are right, Sir Humphrey. We might face difficulties ahead.”

“Not at all, Bernard,” Sir Humphrey replies with a smile. “You see, the same reasons that make AI so dangerous are the ones that will save us from it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Before replying, I would like you to do something for me. Make an online search at the jobs most likely for AI to impact and make a list of them. I have a really good feeling about this.”

 

Thirty minutes later, Sir Humphrey is at the Minister’s office, dossier in his hand, and a thin smile on his face.

“Is there something to worry about?” Jim Hacker asks.

“Not at all, Minister. Why would you say that?”

“Oh, nothing at all.”

Inwardly though, Hacker is worried. He is afraid that once more Humphrey found a way to outsmart him.

The next minute, the door opens. Bernard enters the room, a thick dossier on his hands. He sits opposite Sir Humphrey.

“Gentlemen, I just finished my preliminary analysis about Artificial Intelligence. I hereby present you my conclusions.”

“We are all ears, Bernard,” Humphrey says.

“Actually, yes. Here we go…”

Notes:

In the next chapter: what will Sir Humphrey say to convince Hacker not to implement AI systems in the Ministry?

Chapter 4: AI vs politicians.

Summary:

In the end, Sir Humphrey finds the one reason why Jim Hacker would never wish to install AI systems in the Ministry.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“The first part of my analysis is about tasks Artificial Intelligence can help us better implement. The second part is about tasks AI will replace.”

“I think there is also a third part,” Sir Humphrey says, innocently.

“Yes,” Bernard says, innocently as well. It had taken him and Humprey a lot of rehearsals to get their reactions perfectly.

“What is the third part about?” Hacker asks a bit puzzled.

“Oh, it’s the logical extension of the first and the second part. If AI can do things better than humans and can also replace humans in many other activities, the humans doing those tasks will be replaced as well.”

“That is unfortunate, yes,” Hacker says. “On the other hand, those performing other tasks will find new, and more exciting avenues of employment. We should be open-minded, gentlemen, not conservative and always looking back.”

“In principle, you are correct, Minister,” Sir Humphrey says. “Nevertheless, AI might prove itself a very disruptive solution to the Ministry.”

“That is correct!” Bernard says, full of enthusiasm. “As a matter of fact, I have made a list of the Ministry positions most likely to become obsolete.”

“That is extremely interesting news,” Humphrey says, “I am curious, Bernard. Out of the dozens of different positions in the Ministry, which one is the most likely to be affected by AI?”

“The Minister’s,” Bernard says.

“The Minister’s?” Sir Humphrey asks, in a well-practiced feigned surprise.

“Yes,” Bernard replies, “the Minister’s position is the most likely to be disrupted. That is because he is a politician, and politicians are very vulnerable from AI.”

“How so?” Jim Hacker asks, his voice a combination of puzzlement and anxiety. “After all, politicians are heading Ministries, they are the most important people in each and every such administrative unit.”

“Well,” Bernad says, “according to the analysis I read, politicians spend most of their time socializing, in shallow decision making, in public relations, and in appearing knowledgeable and important while in reality they have nothing to show for it.”

“Present company excluded,” Sir Humprey hastily adds.

“Certainly,” Bernard says, getting the hint.

“Nevertheless,” the senior civil servant says, “the issue is real. AI might replace politicians. If – and I say if – we implement it, other Ministries will follow. And then… Bernard?”

“Then, AI will gradually take over many politicians’ jobs.”

“That’s right, Minister,” Sir Humprey says. “We can safely estimate half the politicians will be out of job within the next… Bernard?”

“Four to five years,” comes the reply. “That means…”

“Oh, no!” Hacker says. “Half the politicians out of work?”

“Yes, Minister,” Bernard says.

“And every single one of them will blame me it was I who started it all?”

“If it starts from the Ministry of Administrative Affairs,” Sir Humphrey says.

“Oh, goodness! Each and every politician will turn against me. They will brand me Hacker the Job Hacker.”

“Perhaps you are exaggerating, Minister,” Bernard says. “You might end at the one half who won’t lose his job.”

“Highly unlikely. Everyone in the party will accuse me for destroying his chances or reelection. Everyone will want to avenge me for that. The Prime Minister will kick me out of the Ministry, I will never get reelected, and I will be lucky if I get a pension.”

“It is the inevitability of Artificial Intelligence,” Sir Humphrey says. “Its implementation will make many jobs obsolete. Unless of course…”

“Unless? Tell me, Humphrey, don’t leave me in agony!”

“Unless, we reconsider its implementation. After all, as the Jevons paradox says, the cheaper a resource becomes, the more we tend to use it.”

“You are right,” Hacker says. “We apply AI, we end up producing more memos, and the time we save is wasted there.”

“That is correct, Minister,” Bernard says. “We might end up working the same amount of hours in the end.”

“What is the point then,” Hacker says, as if rediscovering the wheel. “Why to implement AI and risk my reelect… I mean without tangible benefits for the Ministry?”

“That’s a good point, Minister,” Sir Humprey says, retaining his poker face. His plan has worked. He found the one good reason why Hacker would never want to implement AI.

“On second thoughts,” Jim Hacker says, “let’s not be in a hurry. Let another sucker… I mean colleague face the Prime Minister’s wrath… I mean test and implement AI.”

“Yes, Minister!” Sir Humprey says.

Notes:

I wonder: could AI ever replace politicians.

I would like to read your replies in the comments.

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