Chapter Text
It all started with a poorly thought-out plan, or as Yuji preferred to call it, an "emergency tactical rescue operation for a cat." It was the kind of idea that emerged with no logic, probably in the middle of a wave of homesickness and unresolved drama. Sukuna, of course, thought it was all complete nonsense. But, as always, there he was, neck-deep in his younger brother's mess. Not because he wanted to, but because it was inevitable. Because Yuji had that annoying talent for turning any crazy idea into a sacred mission. And because, deep down, well, not so deep down, Sukuna caved every time. After all, who else in the world would get involved in a home invasion just to retrieve an ex's cat?
Sukuna stood in front of Megumi’s house, arms crossed, frowning with his usual look of displeasure. However, his younger brother, Yuji, remained perched on his shoulders, whining with childish impatience and eyes fixed on the second-floor windows.
— Lift me higher — Yuji asked, pointing upwards as if he wasn’t already high enough.
— This is a terrible idea — Sukuna replied, his voice rough and resigned. — You’re going to fall, break your face, and guess who’s going to have to take you to the hospital?
But despite the complaints, Sukuna bent his knees slightly and boosted his brother with his hands, lifting him higher with ease, as if Yuji were nothing more than a feather. It was always like this. He could curse, threaten, and complain, but he caved every time. Because he was the older brother. Because Yuji (along with Nanami) was the only one who could pull this kind of reaction from him.
— I need to save my son! — Yuji exclaimed dramatically, as if about to commit a heroic act. — Do you really think I’m going to leave my cat in the cold, calculating hands of my ex?!
— He’s just a cat.
— He’s my son!
With a long sigh, Sukuna simply held his position. Yuji climbed with agility, balancing with enviable precision before reaching the balcony and disappearing into the house. Sukuna, down below, crossed his arms again, his expression impassive, although he already knew this wouldn’t end well.
Inside, Yuji went straight to the point. He knew where Megumi hid the cat, or, as he preferred to say, where he unjustly kept it. It didn’t take long to find the little feline curled up on the couch, covered by a blanket. At the sound of his owner’s voice, the cat let out a needy meow and jumped straight into Yuji’s arms.
— Daddy’s here! — Yuji whispered, moved, as he hugged the cat like a rescued child. — I’ll never leave you with that cold traitor again!
He was already preparing to leave when he heard a familiar sound: small paws against the floor and light breathing. Turning around, he came face to face with Megumi’s two puppies hopping towards him, ears up and tails wagging. They already knew Yuji and loved when he showed up. He smiled. And, at that moment, a brilliant and extremely impulsive idea sparked in his mind like a fuse.
— You want to come too, right? — he murmured.
First, he went to the window, and without thinking twice, carefully tossed the cat outside.
— Catch him! — he shouted.
Sukuna, quick as always, raised his arms and caught the cat in the air effortlessly. The cat landed on his lap with a confused meow but settled comfortably. Sukuna looked up, eyes narrowed.
— Why are you taking so long in there?
Yuji was already running around the house, found Megumi’s backpack thrown over a chair, and emptied it with a swift motion. The two puppies came towards him as if they understood exactly what was happening, jumping straight into the open bag. Yuji adjusted them carefully, making sure there was space and that the top remained open for air. They seemed to be enjoying the adventure.
— Ready, soldiers — he said with a mischievous grin.
He ran back to the window and, without thinking twice, jumped. The impact of landing next to Sukuna was muffled, his feet touching the ground with precision.
— Are you crazy?! — Sukuna growled. — What the hell was that?!
— Mission accomplished — Yuji replied with a satisfied air, adjusting the backpack on his back.
— What’s in there? — Sukuna asked, eyeing it with suspicion.
Yuji just blinked, a mischievous smile on his lips, and said casually:
— Megumi’s karma… for stealing my cat first.
Sukuna looked at him, then at the backpack that was subtly moving, and finally at the cat in his lap that was purring contentedly.
— This is going to be a disaster — he muttered.
— It already has, now run.
And the two of them disappeared, laughing down the streets.
The two brothers ran down the sidewalk like fugitives from a highly improbable robbery: a dramatically rescued cat and two puppies kidnapped in a backpack that was wagging as if it had a life of its own. Yuji laughed loudly, panting from running and laughing at the same time, while Sukuna, with the cat in his arms, ran alongside him with an expression of pure existential regret.
— Why did I let you drag me into this? — Sukuna grumbled, dodging an elderly woman with a shopping cart. — I’m an adult! I have a name to protect!
— You also have a heart! — Yuji replied between laughs, jumping over a puddle. — And it beats for me and my children!
— They’re animals!
— MY children!
The cat, completely unaware of the chaos, began climbing Sukuna’s chest with its claws digging into his hoodie, as if looking for a more comfortable spot to observe the escape. Sukuna let out a muffled shout when the little paws scratched too close to his nipple.
— Damn it, this cat is stabbing me! — he complained, trying to balance the cat without letting it fall or tear his clothes.
— He feels your judgment! — Yuji shouted over his shoulder. — Stop emanating that absent father energy!
They reached a park, and Yuji threw himself onto a bench with an exaggerated sigh, still with the backpack on his back. The zipper was slightly open, and from inside came a curious little snout followed by a sharp bark. One of the puppies tried to escape, placing its paws on the edge, but Yuji, still not looking, pushed it back with the palm of his hand, like closing a drawer.
— Shhh! You’re on a rescue mission! Be professional!
Sukuna threw himself beside him, the cat now lying on his lap as if it were the true master of the situation. He looked at his brother, then at the dogs, then at the cat, and finally raised his eyes to the sky, as if asking a deity for help.
— This is not normal. This is not healthy. We should be at home watching movies, Yuji.
— I tried doing that! — Yuji pointed dramatically. — But Megumi took my son away like he was an old shoe!
— It was literally you leaving the cat at his place every weekend! He thought he was doing you a favor!
— No one asked for that favor!
Sukuna huffed and lay his head back on the seat, exhausted. The cat was purring, the puppies had now given up on escaping and were licking the inside of the backpack. Yuji stared at the scene with a proud smile on his face, like a general who had just completed the most absurd and successful operation of his life.
— Sukuna... — he started, with the most serious tone he could muster. — From now on... these four are your responsibility.
— Four? — Sukuna frowned. — Who are you counting as the fourth?
— Me, idiot. You’re the one who reminds me to eat when I forget. You’re the one who goes to the pet store because I’m allergic to the food aisle. You’re the uncle of my pets!
Sukuna stared at his brother, a deadly silence between them for two seconds. Then he sighed, defeated.
— Just kill me already. Go on! End me right here, in front of the cat.
Yuji laughed so hard he almost fell off the bench, holding his stomach. The cat jumped from Sukuna's lap to his and shoved its nose in his face as if asking for silence, but that only made Yuji laugh even more. By now, people passing by were looking at them strangely, but the two seemed to have created a universe of their own — where brothers kidnapped puppies and cats for emotional reasons and discussed pet parenthood as if it were a political treaty.
Until Yuji’s phone vibrated.
He answered automatically, still laughing, and the voice on the other end made his smile die in half a second.
— Yuji, where is my cat? — It was Megumi, and he sounded like he was smiling, which was much, much worse.
— I… technically, I just brought him back home.
— And my dogs?
Yuji looked at the backpack, which was now giving little jumps on the ground with tails wagging out.
— They… got promoted. They’re spies now.
— Yuji.
— It’s Sukuna’s fault.
— YOU INVOLVED ME IN THIS! — Sukuna yelled, getting up from the bench, pointing his finger. — I HAD PLANS TODAY.
Yuji hung up on Megumi and turned his attention back to Sukuna.
— Your plans involved making pancakes and complaining about life in silence, old grump. I gave you excitement. I gave you purpose. — Yuji replied, adjusting the backpack while it barked in stereo.
Sukuna gave him a deadly look.
— Purpose my ass, Yuji. Now Megumi is going to come after us like an armed rent collector.
— I have a plan. — Yuji said, his eyes sparkling with creative madness.
Sukuna froze.
— I swear on everything sacred, if this involves makeup on a dog, no.
But Yuji was already taking the backpack off his back.
— We need to throw Megumi off the scent. And to do that, we’re going to make him think the puppies were kidnapped by a rival group.
— A rival what?
Without hearing, Yuji opened the backpack and began pulling one of the puppies out carefully... and an old shirt. He quickly put the shirt on the dog, making it look like an informal member of a local gang.
— They are now the "Midnight Barkers." A secret gang of rebellious puppies. — Yuji declared with a crooked smile.
The dog barked, as if approving.
— We’re going to take some photos and send them anonymously to Megumi. It’ll look like the puppies ran away to live life outside the system. — Yuji explained, already pulling out his phone and positioning the dog on the bench.
For a moment, Sukuna stood still, processing everything. A puppy in a shirt, sitting on a park bench, with a leaf on its nose and a dramatic look like it was living in a movie. The other puppy, still in the backpack, tried to get out, and Yuji placed it next to the first one, putting a pair of sunglasses (his own) on its nose.
— This is the gang leader. His name is Viper.
— You’re naming Megumi’s dog Viper?
— It’s a name of respect, Sukuna. He’ll understand the message.
Sukuna couldn’t take it anymore. He simply sat on the ground, laughing like he hadn’t in months, his eyes watering while Yuji tried to make the puppies pose like celebrities on an international escape.
— Now, all we need is a poster. “Wanted: gang leaders, dangerous, cute, and armed with licks.” — Yuji muttered, typing frantically.
He sent the photos to Megumi’s number, along with the caption: “They don’t want to come back. They’re happy living outside the system. Don’t try to find them. Signed: The Bark.”
Two minutes later, Yuji’s phone vibrated. An audio message. He hesitated before pressing play. Sukuna leaned in, curious.
When the audio started, there was only silence. Long. That kind of passive-aggressive silence that carried more judgment than words could convey. And then, Megumi spoke, in a cold voice:
— I just hope you’re hydrated, Yuji. Because you’re going to need to run a lot to avoid me finding you.
Yuji gulped. Sukuna burst out laughing again.
— He’s going to kill us, Sukuna.
— He’s going to kill you, I’ll watch with popcorn. And maybe, if he’s creative, I’ll even record it.
Of course, they would be hunted down as fugitives by Megumi. But it was worth it.
Because now, the "Midnight Barkers" were real.
And Yuji was their proud founder.
The apartment was in complete chaos — or, as Yuji preferred to call it, "full family harmony." The cat was sprawled on the sofa like a Roman emperor, one paw covering its eyes as if exhausted by the world. The two puppies, now affectionately named Cookie and Massacre, were running back and forth as if they’d had espresso with energy drinks, biting slippers, pillows, and eventually, a charger cord.
Sukuna was sitting at the kitchen table, with an expression of someone contemplating their sanity slipping away. One of the puppies was chewing on the hem of his pants. The other tried to climb his leg. And the cat had just vomited a hairball onto the laptop.
Yuji, on the other hand, looked like he was in paradise. He walked around the house in a T-shirt that read “Pet Dad and Proud” with a satisfied smile on his face. He went to his phone, calmly typed a few things, and then said:
— Done, I blocked Megumi.
Sukuna slowly looked up, pure desperation in his eyes.
— You did what?
— Well, he was being toxic. — Yuji shrugged. — Negative energy doesn’t come into this home anymore.
— This is going to be a disaster.
— I hope so, it’ll be fun.