Chapter Text
“Gold Star Entertainment released a statement an hour ago revealing that top actor Nani Hirunkit Changkham will be going on an indefinite hiatus to focus on his health. GSE would like to assure the public that Nani will be getting some well-deserved rest after taking on various projects over the last two years and that he will be back once he’s 100% ready to work again. Nani also posted on his own Instagram thanking the fans for their understanding, he also asked them not to worry too much about him and that he would return with a stronger and happier version of himself…”
“There you have it, no turning back now.” P’Som sat beside me with a worried expression on her face.
“Thanks,” I replied, reaching for the remote control to turn the TV off. “I appreciate that.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to tell everyone what truly happened?”
“Tell everyone that a crazy fan broke into my apartment and attacked me? No way, they crave attention … me acknowledging their existence will only make the others want to do it as well.” I explained, not sure if I made any sense.
“But the stalker was already arrested. I still think we should have revealed the truth, to make an example out of him.”
I sighed. “I just want to move on and forget what happened. If we tell them about the attack, they’re not going to stop begging us for an interview. I don’t want that … I just want to move forward and forget about that night as soon as possible.”
“No need to force yourself to move on from it that quickly. It only happened two weeks ago and the attacker was arrested the same night. I’m worried about you, Nani. You know that, right?”
I nodded and gave her a reassuring smile. P’Som and I go way back, she worked as my manager in the company I was previously in, then I joined her when she founded Gold Star Entertainment. She was one of the first people who believed in me and had been a constant voice of support throughout my career.
“Alright, when are you going to leave then? And what’s the name of the village?”
I opened the Google Maps app on my phone and handed it to her. “The pinned one,” I said, and she looked closer at the screen. “I’ll be leaving this afternoon.”
“Hope? Is that the name? It’s so small and it’s up north?” she asked, clearly confused.
“Yeah, I didn’t even know we have a village here named after an English word. I looked it up and it seemed like a very small, quiet, and beautiful country town. Like the type of place where travelers just pass through on their way to bigger cities and more popular destinations. It’s not too far from here as well which is perfect. I think I’ll be fine there.”
“But Nani,” I could already tell that her mother instincts were tingling and she was about to protest. “I don’t think this place suits you, especially if you’re alone. Why don’t you stay here in the city and I’ll just visit you every day? I can also ask Suwat to stay with you if you want.” She offered.
“Suwat? Seriously?” I shook my head from side to side. “He’s a chronic yapper. My ears will bleed if I listen to him talk about random shit all day. He’s a really good manager, okay? But I won’t get any rest if I stay with him. And besides, it’s been a while since I lived in the countryside. I miss the peace so much. I’m also a north kid, remember? … Nani can handle himself.”
P’Som chuckled then shrugged. “Fine, but you have to promise me you’ll be safe. And that you will let me visit you once a week.”
“Clingy much? You can come once every two weeks if you want, then we can video call twice a week.” I suggested.
“Fine,” She spoke after a moment of silence. “As long as you’re being safe. You found an accommodation there?”
I nodded.
“Is it secured?”
“Yes, it is. Don’t worry. It took me a long time to find a house there that has a proper security system.” I answered, exaggerating a bit. It didn’t take me a while to find a house equipped with modern locks and cameras as there were only three in the entire community. I just got lucky that there was one open for long-term rental.
“That’s good. As we agreed before, I can give you three months off but after that, you’ll have to come back here for a meeting with the board. Do you understand?”
“I do! You’re acting like my mom again!” I quipped and she rolled her eyes. P’Som then playfully hit me on the shoulder before dishing out a litany of reasons as to why she might as well be my second mother.
“Do you even go to your therapy sessions?”
I told her yes even though I wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware of the importance of getting professional help for mental matters. But at that time, I thought I could deal with the aftermath all by myself.
But boy was I wrong. Big Time.
P’Som and I chatted for another 15 minutes, and then I left her office and went straight to my apartment to gather the things I would bring. Thankfully, the place I would be staying at was fully furnished so all I needed to take with me were the essentials.
After making sure that all of the important stuff was packed neatly in suitcases, boxes, and duffle bags, I settled on the living room sofa and looked around. I would be lying if I said that the apartment didn’t feel different after that night. The place I used to feel the safest had lost its magic, and there was no getting it back. So even if it had a lot of sentimental value as it was the first property that I bought for myself, I decided to put it up on the market just to move forward and forget about everything.
I left the city around 1:00 pm intending to avoid the heavy traffic, but it still took me almost five hours of driving just to cover a distance that was supposed to be done in three. The sky was already painted in orange and purple hues by the time I reached the dirt road intersection leading to the village of Hope. I looked out of my window and marveled at the sight of the green fields and hills bathing in the warm light of the setting sun. This view may be normal for a lot of people, but for someone who has been living in a concrete jungle for a long time? It was a moment I couldn’t let pass by without taking a picture.
I pulled up on the side of the road and got out quickly to take shots of the gorgeous surroundings. I also took that opportunity to call the homeowner, a woman named ‘Emily’, to tell her that I was almost there. That was when she told me that her flight from the Philippines was delayed for a couple of hours due to poor weather conditions, and thus, she asked a close acquaintance of hers to meet with me instead.
“Is that okay?” Emily asked. I wanted to say no but what else could she do? And so, I just agreed.
“Thank you!!! You don’t need to worry. He’s like a nephew to me. He’s young, energetic, and kind. He’ll give you a proper tour of the home and will be willing to help you in any way he can.”
“Alright, got it.” I sighed and was about to end the call where she hid the extra key to the house.
“Just in case you find yourself alone in there, the front door key is hidden inside the flower vase by the gate.”
“The closest to the gate? Okay. Thank you so much. I guess we’ll just meet tomorrow then?” I inquired and she said yes. The call then ended a few seconds later.
I went back to my car and continued to my destination. The view for the rest of the ride remained picturesque. I could already tell just by looking at the seemingly endless fields and rows of mountains that I would get the peace and quietness that I badly needed at that time.
It was already dark when I reached the ginormous oak tree with the circular bench made of cement underneath it. There was a 10-foot-tall signboard next to it welcoming visitors to the village of Hope. As I expected, only a few people were roaming around even if the night just started. I looked around and saw some of them staring at me.
Alright, this is quite scary.
I thought to myself. I couldn’t blame them though, a guy in a red pickup truck pulling up from nowhere, I would be suspicious too. I gathered my courage and rolled down my window. There was a guy nearby, face covered in cloth, who asked me what I wanted.
“Uh, I’m looking for the 616 Guest Villa,” I replied as that was the name of the home I would be renting. The stranger didn’t utter anything for a moment before pointing me towards the lonely light post about 400 to 500 meters away from the tree.
“There’s a dirt road right after that white post over there. Just drive up and you will see the house, it’s right in front of an onion field.” He told me. I smiled, thanked him, then slowly drove away.
I reached the light post and then turned right. He was right, there was a dirt road going up here. I looked around and could see that the houses were a mix of modern and traditional designs. Some were still made of wood and had those old-style windows that I hadn’t seen since I left my hometown.
“There you are,” I whispered after spotting the house located at the topmost part of the hill. Thankfully, it matched the pictures I saw in the ad. At least I had one less thing to worry about. Unfortunately, the lights were off and there was no one outside the house, meaning the so-called ‘acquaintance’ wasn’t there.
I just sighed, too tired to complain. After pulling up on the driveway and getting out of the car, I immediately made my way towards the vase where the key was said to be hidden. But before I could even touch it, I heard a loud voice coming from behind my back.
“Hey!”
I turned and saw a guy rushing towards me, left hand raised and waving. The first thing about him that caught my attention was his bright smile. And as he got closer, I also noticed his broad shoulders, fair skin, and impressive height. Even from a distance, I could tell that he was attractive, much more so when he was only 10 feet away and I could see his eyes and dimples.
“Red truck! I was working in the field! I saw you pass by earlier!” he exclaimed, a bit breathlessly. I wasn’t sure what to say at first so I just nodded.
“Aunt Emily asked me to fill in for her and give you a warm welcome to her home.” My ears perked up when he said those words as it meant he wasn’t some random dude messing with me but the house owner’s acquaintance I was supposed to meet.
“Ohh, that’s you?!” I asked him and the smile on his face grew wider.
“Yep. I’m Wongravee Nateetorn, but you can call me ‘Sky’ for short. I hope we get along well.’’ he answered, extending a hand for me to shake.
Is this guy for real? He looked so energetic, so alive. And he said he was working in the field then ran all the way here after me?
I cautiously reached for his hand and shook it. “Nice to meet you. I’m Hirunkit Changkham, you can call me Nani.”
“You’re Nani the actor, right? The one from ‘Meteor Garden’? F4’s MJ?” Sky asked, that enthusiastic smile on his face faltering a bit.
“Yes, I am,” I replied. I kind of expected him to act excited or in disbelief, similar to what a typical fan of mine would do. But instead, he stayed calm and just seemingly nodded in satisfaction.
“Did you perhaps watch my show?”
“Nah, not my thing. Where’s your stuff? Do you need help bringing them in?”
“Oh.” That was all I was able to say before pointing at the boxes at the back of my truck. Sky then proceeded to take the extra key out of the vase and slid the metal gate open. Yes, it wasn’t locked at all.
“I see there’s no garage. Is it safe to leave a car out here?”.
“Of course,” he answered promptly. “This is a town where everyone knows everyone, crime rate is almost non-existent. Save for some outsiders trying to mess things up from time to time.”
We spent the next few minutes unloading all of my things from the pickup truck. Sky then led the way towards the door even though he was carrying two boxes at once.
“I hope you enjoy your stay here. This is a great house.” Sky spoke, looking back for a moment to smile at me.
“I hope so too,” I told him. Without putting the boxes down, Sky unlocked the door and held it open so I could come in first.
“Are you being a gentleman?” I asked, teasing him.
“I’m just trying to treat a celebrity right. Who knows? You might send your fans to hate on me.” Sky quipped. I grinned and rolled my eyes at him. He then turned the lights on, allowing me to see the interior of the house in person for the first time. The design was a mix of modern Thai homes and Spanish villas with high ceilings, large glass windows, white walls, wood panels, mezzanine, and brown-colored tile flooring.
“It looks the same as in the pictures,” I commented, completely satisfied.
“Well, of course, Auntie is a serious businesswoman. It’s getting late and you must be tired from the travel. How about I give you a quick tour first?”
I agreed. And so, like a tourist guide on his first-ever trip, Sky excitedly led me on an introductory tour of what would be my home for the next few months. It was impressive how much he knew about the place. From when it was built and who thought of the layout up to the design choices and the security system, it was like he built it himself.
“Are you sure, you’re not the homeowner?” I questioned him and he let out a chuckle.
“I’ll own a bigger one in the future.” He responded with that same bright smile I saw earlier. Sky then continued speaking about something, meanwhile, I admittedly zoned out and just looked around at the random art pieces installed throughout the house.
One of the biggest consequences of being distracted is that you might crash into something, and that’s exactly what happened at that moment. I was so busy looking at a painting that I bumped into Sky who had apparently stopped walking and turned around to face me. To make matters worse, I bounced off him. Yes, bounced. I lost my balance and was about to fall down the stairs when he thankfully caught me by grabbing both of my arms.
And just like a cliché scene from a K-Drama, we were there seemingly stuck in that position longer than we should have been. After regaining my composure, I managed to stand properly and pull my arms away from his hold. An awkward moment of silence then ensued, with both of us looking in different directions.
“No problem. Um … I think that’s about it. By the way, the largest kitchen cabinet door doesn’t close properly, I could fix it right now but I don’t have my toolbox with me. The lights on top of the counter should be replaced as well. I’ll just drop by early tomorrow morning to deal with them.” Sky then spoke, breaking the quietness.
“Sure, do you have a key or are you going to use that one?” I asked, pertaining to the front door key he used earlier.
“Oh, this is for you to use,” He answered, handing it to me. “I have another one, it’s for the back door. Since I regularly do the maintenance here, Auntie gave me a spare key.”
“You seem like you’re capable of doing a lot of stuff,” I commented.
“Well, I just know a lot of things,” Sky replied with a shy smile. He then walked past me and went downstairs.
“Oh, by the way. Can we speak casually?” He then questioned me.
“Sure, but how old are you?”
“I’m turning 23 this year. How about you?”
I knew it, he was younger. A lot younger.
“I turned 28 last October,” I said and the smile on his face dropped.
“Oh…” Sky’s voice trailed off, obviously unsure of what to say next. I walked closer and assured him it was okay, that I don’t mind honorifics that much anyway.
“Are you sure?”
I nodded. “You can call me by my first name, but only if it’s just the two of us. If there’s someone else, you have to address me politely. Alright?”
“Sure!” Sky agreed. “By the way, my house is right across the field. You can see it if you look out of the window, the white bungalow with a blue roof. You can go there whenever you need anything. Have you had your dinner yet?”
“I’m not hungry,” I told him even though it was a lie. I was starving, but I was also extremely exhausted that I would just rather go to bed and call it a night.
“Alright. But if you get hungry all of a sudden, it’s still early after all, there’s a restaurant café nearby. Just keep going down the main road, it’ll be an 8–10-minute walk or 3–5-minute ride depending on how fast you are. The name is … Hopelessly Delicious.”
I giggled, that was a clever name.
“But if you don’t feel like going out that far tonight, there’s bread and fruits in the kitchen. I hope you can visit the café though … they have a lot of amazing food.”
“Maybe I’ll check it out in the morning,” I uttered. “I’m just really tired right now and I still have to organize my things.”
Sky understood, he just told me to take care and then left. Finally, I was alone in my temporary home. After breathing out a sigh of relief, I started doing one of my recently established night routines, which included checking if all possible entries were double-locked, inspecting all the doors and windows to see if they were secured and not easily removed, and testing all the cameras installed inside and outside the home.
Being attacked in your own house changes you as a person, at least that was what it did to me. Gone are the days that I would leave my windows open and doors unlocked, I’ve also become more attentive to the noises that occur whenever I’m alone.
Every tap. Every knock. Every creak. I learned to listen carefully to all of them.
The events of that night forever broke my sense of security. It made me realize that you can never really be safe, even if you’re within the four walls you call home.
Once I was satisfied with everything, I went up to the master’s bedroom and locked the door, leaving all of my stuff downstairs. I sat on the side of the bed and fished the phone out of my pocket to check on the messages I wasn’t able to reply to all day.
I opened my Line app and saw a bunch of familiar names pop up. Most of them were asking how I was, some offered to visit me, and a few even offered to take me on trips abroad so I could truly take a break. Of course, I didn’t receive any message from my family per usual. I just sighed and allowed myself to completely fall in bed.
My phone then started ringing, I looked at the screen and saw an, unfortunately, all-too-familiar name pop up. I hesitated for a moment before accepting the call.
“Hello? Dew?” I asked, already regretting my decision.
“Nani? It’s me. How are you? I’ve been trying to reach you since this morning.”
There it was, the voice I’d been wanting to hear for a long time. I sat up again and took a deep breath, trying to calm my heartbeat which had suddenly gone wild.
“I’m alright,” I replied casually. “How about you? I‘ve been busy, and haven’t really touched my phone since this afternoon.”
“I’m alright as well, two more weeks and our shooting will be done. Are you in your apartment? I have a two-hour break tomorrow morning, more than enough for me to go and check on you.”
Shit. I should have just stayed in the city for an extra day.
“Oh, I’m currently out of town, Dew. I’ll be back in a few months.”
“Wait what? Where are you right now? Can I visit you on the weekend?” He asked.
That was when I realized I never told Dew what happened. Well, how could I? The last time we talked was in December.
“Somewhere up north,” I responded, willing myself not to divulge any more information.
“Are you in hiding, Nani? Why so vague?”
“Yes, I am. Don’t worry, I’ll be back sooner than you think. You’re gonna have to treat me to dinner when we meet, okay?”
Changing the topic was the best move I could think of. Otherwise, I would have already given in and told him where I was, thus defeating the purpose of having a completely peaceful and healing vacation.
“Alright, I need to go back now. Please take care, Nani. If you need anything, just call me. If you need me to be there with you, then I will.”
It would be hypocritical of me if I said that my heart didn’t skip a beat when Dew said those words, the thought of him being concerned pleased me a lot. I was so busy drowning in my delusions that I didn’t notice he was calling my name over and over again.
“Nani? Nani? Hey Nani are you still there?”
“Yes! Sorry, I zoned out.” I replied immediately, feeling embarrassed.
“It’s okay, don’t worry. I said take care. Can you promise me you’ll take care?”
“I promise. Wait, why are you treating me like I’m five years old?”
“Well, you’re as cute as a five-year-old. I have to go now. Bye!” Dew ended the call before I could even say anything. And just like that, everything went silent again. The only noises I could hear were the soft humming of the air-conditioning unit and the barking of a dog nearby. I took a deep breath and laid down once more.
“You’ll be fine, Nani. You’re cool … you can do this.” I whispered before unintentionally falling asleep.
Maybe I was too tired from driving all day long, or maybe it was because of Dew’s call, but I had a peaceful sleep that night. No nightmares, no waking up at 3:00 am covered in sweat, nothing. When I woke up the next morning, the first thing I saw was the sunlight seeping through the curtains casting a cool glow inside the bedroom.
My second day in Hope had begun.
After replying to as many messages as I could, I slowly got out of bed and started stretching both my arms and legs. But while doing so, my stomach started rumbling, making me remember that the last meal I had was lunch from the day prior.
I sighed and walked towards the door. But as soon as I opened it, I heard the unmistakable sounds of footsteps and chairs being moved around downstairs. My heart sank, all I could think of at that moment was that this was exactly how that fateful night started. I ignored the weird noises instead of investigating and giving myself enough time to fight or run, so this time I decided to do the opposite. Carefully, I slipped out of the room and tiptoed my way towards the second-floor hallway. My suspicions were confirmed when I looked over the mezzanine and saw a figure wearing a black hoodie rummaging through the kitchen cabinets.
Something in my mind told me I shouldn’t panic, but a wave of false courage washed over me. And so, against my better judgment, I quietly made my way downstairs, took off one of my shoes, and threw it as hard as I could towards the intruder. It hit them on the back of the head.
“Ow!” Judging from the voice, and the height, it was a man.
“Leave! Or I’m calling the police!” I yelled, trying to sound as brave as I could. The intruder then slowly turned around and I swear I was more than ready to bolt towards the front door. But much to my surprise, it was the guy from the night before.
Sky.
“That hurts! What is wrong with you?” he grunted, rubbing the back of his head.
Only then did I remember that he said he was going to come early to do some work in the kitchen, and that he had a spare key for the back door. Stunned and embarrassed, I just stood there and stared at him with my face as red as a fucking tomato.