Chapter Text
FILE: SOLARCHAT.EXE // THREAD: “vibes.txt”
DATE: [20XX.04.13]
HOST: Sun (idle) | Logging Active...
Earth:
GUYS WAKE UP
Mercury:
I was up before you even rotated
Venus:
It’s literally noon, Earth.
Mars:
It’s not noon for me
Uranus:
bro it’s not noon for any of us
Jupiter:
Time is relative, let’s all calm down.
Earth:
NO because I just stepped in human garbage again
Luna:
Wasn’t me this time
Earth:
YOU orbit me
Luna:
still not my trash
Neptune:
🧃
Mercury:
Why are you sipping juice
Neptune:
cause i CAN
and bc none of u are paying attention to the ocean dreams I sent last night
Mars:
you sent them??
Neptune:
i don’t know
maybe
i just vibe
Saturn:
Okay but has anyone else felt weird lately
like ring-tension???
No? Just me?
Venus:
Maybe you’re just anxious. Again.
Saturn:
yes. that’s entirely possible. thank you
Jupiter:
We are due for a cosmic anomaly soon. Every few millennia, something shows up.
Uranus:
bro don’t manifest it
Mercury:
no one manifest anything. i am TIRED.
Neptune:
🌊🐙🌒😵💫
Earth:
STOP sending me ocean nightmares please
my whales are stressed
Pluto:
I thought we weren't doing ocean horror until next cycle?
Neptune:
something’s down there
not my down there
just
someone’s
Venus:
This is why no one goes to you for therapy
Sun:
soon
Mercury:
OH NO
Mars:
AAAAAAAAA
Earth:
TAKE COVER
Saturn:
Wait what does that mean— soon what??
Uranus:
Sun that is the least helpful thing you could’ve said
Neptune:
☀️⏳
Venus:
What does THAT mean???
Mercury:
I’m updating my will
Earth:
ok but fr
has anyone else heard like…a hum?
Mars:
define "hum"
Earth:
low
gross
kinda feels like it’s under your skin
Neptune:
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS
y’all thought i was lying
Jupiter:
Hold up... I just checked some of my moons.
We’re getting vibrations past Pluto.
Saturn:
That’s not normal, right? Right???
Pluto:
Don’t look at me, I’m just a guy
Venus:
a weirdo in the corner of the system
Pluto:
exactly. leave me out of your hauntings
Earth:
wait
is this like a new planet thing???
ANOTHER sibling???
Neptune:
👁️
Uranus:
...what the hell was that emoji for
Neptune:
it blinked