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Everyone's born with a soulmate; that's just the way that the world works. Oscar included, obviously. He's no exception. But the thing is, people die young, all the time, and that managed to be the case for Oscar's soulmate.
Her name was Lily, apparently. She died when Oscar was two due to complications with cancer that nobody even knew she had. It's not that he doesn't feel bad for her, but. He definitely has it worse. She's got nothing to worry about not. He's the idiot that lost his soulmate before he could understand the concept of them.
Once he was considered old enough, his mum explained the whole thing to him. How he was sick for a while, so she took him to the doctor's, only for them to just point out his mark was dulled. Things happen, and it won't be the same, but he can find someone else. All that jazz.
It didn't take him long to move on. Mostly because he didn't know who he was moving on from. He dated girls, but a lot of them ended things because being with someone who wasn't their soulmate was just unfulfilling. Deep down, he knows that it's fair, but he wishes that he could relate. That he had more left behind of his soulmate than just a faded set of initials on his wrist.
In all honesty, he's kind of given up on love now.
People tell him to keep trying, but they wouldn't understand. If they'd lost their soulmate before they could even remember, they'd get why dating isn't quite so fun.
As some sort of replacement, he fell in love with other things instead. His job, going on evening runs on the odd day that it didn't rain, the relief of managing to cook something without burning the food, himself, or his apartment down.
And he finds himself spending a lot of time with his new soulmate: hot chocolate with caramel and marshmallows. Being an engineer has its perks, but the hours definitely aren't one.
Every day, he pops into Costa before work. He sits on the same table. He gets that same drink. And he’s served by the same employee: ‘Lando’ - or at least that's what his name tag says.
They'd spoken a couple of times, but both of them were often far too tired to hold up an actual conversation. If they did communicate, it usually just consists of mutual grunts and pointing. By now, Lando knows his name, but he's not entirely sure when he told him. It's far too late to question it, so he just goes with it.
He's pretty, not in a gay way, obviously. Just. Easy on the eyes. Curly hair that makes you want to run your hand through it perfectly framed into a messy mullet. A hint of muscles under the uniform, but not enough to tell you everything. All in all, soft-looking. Oscar doesn't want to look like him or anything, so he doesn't know why he finds himself thinking about it so often. Whatever.
It's a Monday morning, so he's even less motivated for the day than usual. For some strange reason, he decided to stay up late, meaninglessly scrolling on Instagram. Whenever he saw a video of two people being happy together - soulmates - it sent a painful twinge through to his heart. Enough twinges lead to him putting his phone away and sleeping. But they didn't quite come soon enough to save his sleeping schedule this time.
At least someone would match his vibes this morning.
“Oscar!” a familiar voice calls out the second he enters the store, and there's nobody else there except Lando and himself. The tone was more than a little unexpected, to say the least. “Are you getting your usual?”
Blinking in shock, he manages, “uhm, yeah.” Walking over to the counter, he can physically see the happiness on Lando's face, and somehow hang around him. “You're in a good mood.”
“Indeed I am. I had a really nice weekend.”
Good for him. At least someone in his life is thriving. “What happened then? Let me guess: you met your soulmate?”
Instantly, the cheery expression on his face vanished. He didn't mean any harm by his question, obviously. It was more of a subtle jab at himself. An inside joke that only he was in on. Pretty sad, really. He isn't sure what he said that was wrong, but he feels awful about it anyway, naturally.
When Lando still doesn't say anything, just continuing to make his drink glumly, he really wonders what was so bad about what he asked. There's always a chance that Lando was in the same situation that he was, but for his sake he really hopes that it's anything but that.
He doesn't ask out of pure respect. Nobody sane asks someone they barely even know whether their soulmate is alive or not. People just assume that they are. It's kind of the default setting after all. Not one person doesn't start of alive. Not one person doesn't start of having a soulmate either.
You'd be crazy if you randomly told that same stranger that your soulmate is dead as an apology too, so he just settled for mumbling, “sorry.” It's quieter than he'd like by an almost embarrassing amount, but he knows that Lando's heard him.
“Yeah, it's whatever,” he says casually, placing Oscar's hot chocolate down. Looks as good as ever. The drink, not the barista. Well, maybe both.
He taps his card to the machine, already knowing how much it costs, then goes to sit down. Specifically at a table out of view from the counter.
Before he leaves, he waves at Lando, and plasters on the politest smile that he could possibly muster. He's not typically one for acting on your best behavior for someone you already know, but it'd be really inconvenient if he had to find somewhere else to get a drink from in the morning.
When the barista waves back, a more genuine smile on his face while he attends to the woman that always comes in after Oscar does, he knows that everything is just fine.
The next day, Oscar's slightly less exhausted. His appearance shows that off too. The dark circles under his eyes lightened by just a slightly noticeable amount, his usually unruly hair somewhat tamed. For reasons unknown to even himself, he went to sleep much earlier than usual.
He chats to Lando, standing at the counter way longer than he needs to. On a regular visit, he'd sit straight down, but he feels a strange urge to stay here. To learn.
He thinks back to yesterday, and interrupts Lando's rant about how disgusting it is that his roommate eats fish around him, “you know, you never told me why you were so happy yesterday.”
Avoiding eye contact, Lando murmurs, “I started therapy.”
“Oh,” he replies, surprise clear in his voice. He didn't know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't that. “Well, that's good. I think.”
“Uh, yeah. It's good.” He's completely refocused his attention to wiping down the countertop now. Realistically, it shouldn't need cleaning when they just opened, but Oscar doesn't comment. “I mean, what happened wasn't good, obviously. But. Mm. Things are getting better.”
Sure, he's curious, but he doesn't pry. If he's going to therapy over it, then it must be a sensitive topic. And sure, Oscar's good at a lot things, but deep conversations aren't one.
Plus, they hardly even know each other. He knows all of two things about Lando: his name and the fact that he's insane at making hot chocolates.
Originally, that's all he thought he needed to know, but now he kinda has an urge to find out everything that there is to know about Lando. From his favorite colour to his mother's middle name.
Platonically, of course. Casual, even.
Oscar clears his throat. “Great.” He takes a sip of his drink and hums happily. “Also great. As usual.”
“Great,” Lando echoes, emphasising the t. “I'll see you tomorrow?”
Oscar just nods, taking that as a clear sign to slink away, so he does. He doesn't think about Lando on the way to work, and he definitely doesn't think about him the whole day, either.
The next few weeks pass by a lot quicker than they used to, and they're a lot cheeryer. Things between him and Lando had gotten a lot friendlier recently, and he's willing to admit that he did kinda see him in quite the gay way. That's new, but it's not like it matters. He doesn't even know Lando’s soulmate situation.
Today was a regular day, a little warmer than it has been. Oscar likes summer, and he dresses for the weather regardless. As far as he's aware, Lando likes it too. He's never said that he did, but he always complains about the cold, so one could imagine.
“The usual?” Lando's voice calls out the second that he was through the door. They hadn't even seen each other yet, but Oscar was always the first one in.
Walking over, he says, “no, actually. Too hot out for a hot drink.” Is that too many times to say hot in one sentence? Whatever.
“What would you like then?” Lando's crouched down under the counter, rummaging through something underneath it. Honestly, it's not an unlikely place for him to be.
“Uhm, not sure. Something cold.”
Lando now springs up, nearly banging his head on about three different objects. He's silly, but in an endearing way, so Oscar is helpless to do anything other than smile.
Then, he pulls out a few things that Oscar doesn't recognise, and he gets straight to making the drink. “Something cold coming straight up, Osc.”
Oh, and there's the nickname again. Lando's called him that a few times recently, and it seems to have become second nature to him, or close to it. His mum used to call him that when he was younger, so it reminds him of then. It reminds him of home.
While the mysterious cold drink is in the blender, Lando sets up the card machine for him to pay, and he does. The amount of money he spends here is near alarming, now that he thinks about it. Eh, a good drink and good company is more than worth it.
“Looks good,” he says, describing the finished drink, and not Lando, although it could easily apply to both of them.
He reaches out to grab it, and takes a sip. But when he looks up again, he notices that Lando's eyes were firmly set on his wrist, more specifically where Lily's initials were. Yanking his hand and drink back, he clears his throat.
Eventually, Lando looks back up, a little startled. “Oh, uhm, sorry. Have you met them yet?”
“She's dead,” he deadpans.
Lando looks completely horrified, and he physically recoils, clearly not knowing what to say. “Oh my G-d. I- that’s. Wow. Okay. I'm so sorry for your loss.”
He's so used to people asking about his soulmate that he's not bothered when telling people anymore, but Lando's (a bit too) dramatic reaction does make him feel a little bad. In all honesty, he's not sure when it stopped being a big deal to him.
A few years ago, he would've been nearly having a mental breakdown if someone asked about his soulmate. But when he reached his twenties, the question started to get a lot more common, and he started to care less and less. Everyone grieves in their own way, and Oscar just chooses not to anymore.
But just because he's not constantly affected by her death, doesn't mean that other people won't freak when they find out. This much was proven today.
“Yeah. It's fine. She died long before we met anyways, so it's not that big of a deal.”
“Ah. And it was definitely a she?”
Interesting. “Yeah, but it doesn't really matter.”
“It doesn't?”
“I'm bi anyway.” What the fuck, Oscar? He's barely even come to terms with it himself, let alone told his own parents about it. Instead of thinking about it, he just downs almost half of the drink. He'd give anything for a chance with this guy, apparently.
There's a small smile on Lando's face. “Cool. I'm gay, so.” Well, that's certainly good to know.
Neither of them say anything, so Oscar just continues to drink, awkwardly looking at him. To avoid commenting on the whole coming out thing, he just says, “the drink's really good by the way.”
“Yeah, it's a personal favorite.”
“So,” he starts, assuming that there'd be something that Lando would be willing to talk about. A roommate story, complaints about fish in some regards. Anything, really.
“Oh! Did I tell you that Alex adopted another cat?” He had told Oscar about it, but he didn't stop him.
Turns out, he hadn't been told about that cat, and Alex just has a whole bunch of them. And by the end of the story, he's finished his drink. He thanks Lando one last time before leaving, with a smile on his face.
A few days later, he realises that he still has no idea whether Lando's with his soulmate or not. It feels like ages ago when he shut down after Oscar last asked, but there was definitely something going on there. Nobody gets that upset thinking about their soulmate unless there's a story behind it.
Yet, Lando was way too horrified about Oscar's soulmate being dead for the same thing to have happened to his. Maybe he just gets sentimental about that stuff.
So, he just points out, “you've never mentioned whether you've met your soulmate or not.” Immediately, Lando stiffens, and tears his gaze to the ground. “I don't mean to pry! You don't have to tell me anything. Just curious.”
“No.. I should tell you.” He sighs, before continuing, “I did meet him, yes.” His gaze returns back to Oscar, and he looks far more vulnerable than he ever has before.
Oscar can't help himself. “What are we doing then? All of this when you kn-” and he's shut up by a kiss.
Lando's leaning over the counter in a way that couldn't possibly be comfortable, and he caught him completely off guard. Oscar also has half a mind to still be pissed, and accuse him of cheating. But. It feels natural, in a way.
“He was a dick,” Lando explained as soon as he pulled away. “My soulmate. He was abusive, and I deserve better. I want better, Osc, I want you. Okay?”
“Okay.”