Work Text:
The sand has managed to sneak its way into his shoe, and he can feel the way each granule shifts. Any moment now it will magically infiltrate his sock, rub against his toes, as sand always has a knack for finding the most uncomfortable places. Normally, he would have already stopped to fix this. Would have balanced on one leg, and carefully, so as not to accidentally allow more sand in, poured out his shoe, before gingerly switching to the other foot. It’s a well mastered ability, one he’s perfected from years of living near the ocean, and blustered by practicing yoga.
Rin doesn’t dare attempt it now.
Currently if he were to lift his leg, it would tremble, as would his hand when he goes to grab his shoe, inevitably causing him to lose balance and stumble forward, dooming him to be on the high end of irritation until he leaves the beach.
So he trudges on, hyper aware of each step, and gripping the box that prevents him from fixing it.
“Are ya okay Rin?” Hiori asks.
The gentle grasp of hands, the swipe of a thumb, right above where his wrist peaks out of his coat pocket, and the sand’s sensation fades to the background as Rin fights his body’s urges to simultaneously melt into a puddle and violently convulse.
“I’m fine,” Rin says, praying his monotone is in its normal decibel. “Cold.”
He’s not cold, despite the night’s December breeze cascading across the ocean to meet them, but he can’t tell Hiori the truth, not yet.
Rin presses his feet a little harder as he walks, causing more sand to make its way into his shoes, but at least it stifles his shaking knees.
“Hmmm,” Hiori hums, tilting his head in suspicion. “Do ya wanna head back then?”
The suggestion shoots a spike of white-hot panic through his skull, and his next breath rises in a sudden slipstream to try and cool his mind. He whips his head towards the ocean, hoping to avoid Hiori’s all-too-knowing eyes while he does a mental reset.
“No,” He says, and at least that isn’t a lie.
Hiori leans forward, trying to catch Rin’s eyes without unlinking his hands. Rin keeps looking off, setting his gaze half on the horizon, half on the shore.
“If ya say so. You’re actin’ a tad funny,” he says, returning to walk in step. “Let me know if there’s somethin’ ya wanna tell me.”
Yes. There is. But please, his mind begs, please wait.
“Let's just make it to the pier,” Rin says instead.
“Well, if we're goin’ to keep goin’, we can’t have ya bein’ cold,” Hiori chides, his smile curling slightly on one side. He grabs the towel that Rin has slung over his shoulder and fans it out, before draping it around his neck in a mock imitation of a poncho. Then, Hiori snakes both his hands tighter around Rin’s arm, hitching himself closer as if to share body heat.
If he was actually cold, it wouldn’t have done much to help, but the gesture warms him regardless; momentarily setting his nerves at ease as they continue walking.
Everything, for the most part, is going to Plan.
The Plan being an excel file inconspicuously labeled Workout Routine that currently sits on the home page of Rin’s laptop; created last year and last updated an hour ago. In it, various notes are organized under the categories of Hiori’s preferences, Timing, and General Preparedness, which are then organized alphabetically.
The weather is exactly fifty-four degrees, cold enough for Hiori to wear his favorite cream colored sweater, while also driving away any other beach-goers. The crescent moon ensures the tide will only be strong enough to gently lip at the dock’s legs, rather than crash into them. The piece of paper in his back pocket rests folded inside of a small ziploc bag, protecting it from the humidity until he needs it.
Most importantly, the ring hides in his left leather jacket pocket. Left because Hiori always walks on his right, and the leather jacket specifically because it’s bulky enough to hide the shape of the box.
He caresses it now, rubbing his thumb over the soft, prickly velvet, and feels the sensation uncomfortably spread over the rest of his skin.
Every detail has been calculated, recalculated, written and deleted, countlessly agonized over numerous times in the year leading up to this very moment. Them, walking on the shore line, towards the place where he first confessed. It’s sweet, sentimental, and private. All things Rin knows Hiori will appreciate. It worked the first time after all. So it should all be fine, and yet he never thought to account for the fact-
-The pier branches out into the ocean, just barely visible from the soft glow of the single oil lamp at its end. Hiori makes a soft hum of acknowledgement at the sight, and Rin-
Rin feels his knees go weak, his stomach churn, vision blur. There’s an intense urge to jerk his arm back, away from where Hiori’s thumb has snuck under the sleeve hem, so Hiori doesn’t feel it; the sudden pounding of his heart.
His heart beats in time with each step, and Hiori, either out of grace or obliviousness, continues to silently walk with him. Hiori must feel it though. How the blood strains against his veins, pulses against the walls. He’s thankful that it’s cold, that most of his body is covered, his hands tucked away; he’s sure every vein, down to the capillaries, protrudes against his skin with the increasing thumps of his traitorous heart.
“Rin? Are ya gonna come up, or…?”
The words reach him like a buoy sent to pull him from the oceans depths, and yet as he gazes at Hiori already up on the pier, moments away from his proposal, Rin feels his grasp slip. Because now they’re here. It’s happening, no more planning can be done.
Will it be good enough?
He takes a step.
What if he says no?
Then another.
Will he leave? Will he want to break up? What if what if what if-
Finally, Rin reaches the top. He follows behind Hiori, treading the wooden slats. Each one seems to laugh, creaking up at him in mocking for even daring to be here.
He can barely focus on Hiori, his mind only registering that he is facing the ocean so Rin can check off each necessary box, quickly, before Hiori catches on. He gently drapes the towel across the bridge, covering the gaps between each board, refusing to risk accidentally dropping the ring into the ocean. The speech is retrieved from his back pocket, and he slides it out of the ziploc bag before stuffing the bag away again. Finally, he checks his coat, flipping open the ring box from inside the pocket, just to ensure the ring is still there.
He gets on one knee, takes one last steadying breath, and lifts his head.
“Yo Hiori.”
“Hmm?” Hiori turns at his name, at first twisting only his torso to glance back, before his eyes go wide, and he spins fully around.
The bad thing about preparing is that it’s never the real thing. Rin has recited this speech a hundred times, silently mouthing it to himself in the mirror almost every morning. He knows it. He knows he knows it, but mirror him couldn’t prepare, can’t compare, to the man in front of him.
All the elements seem to battle for Hiori. The moon twines into the lamp's faint glow to caress Hiori’s face; the ocean stretches up the sides of the pier at a chance for a drop to grace his skin; in the moments before Hiori turned to face him, he swears the stars must have stowed away in his eyes.
“I-” Is all he’s able to get out.
Then panic sets in.
He looks down to his speech, but he can’t seem to process anything. His eyes are unable to move beyond the first word, like there’s an invisible buffer. Is he breathing faster? He thinks he might be.
“I- I- just give me a moment!”
It’s with all his blood rushing in pure horror, every vein throbbing against his skin, Rin wonders deliriously, manically, if Hiori would find it romantic. That if his veins were to burst, coating his clothes, splattering the ground, flecking onto his written speech, and on one knee he took his last, labored breath proposing, would Hiori look at his ruptured body and feel at all more inclined to say yes?
“Rin.”
No, please, this isn’t how it’s meant to go-
He closes his eyes to try and center himself. To try and salvage this.
“Rin.”
No no no no nonono-
“No, wait-” Eyes still closed, he pleads.
“ Rin.”
Fuck.
The wood groans, a careful step is placed. Rin doesn’t move.
“Rin,” A gentle voice, “Woulda look at me please?” Gentle hands cup the side of his face, slipping over his burning skin like ice water. He pries his eyes open. Hiori is crouched beside him, head tilting in concern.
“Are ya proposin’ to me?”
The words sink into his heart like a knife, straight to the hilt. Not because of Hiori, Hiori isn’t cruel, but because of himself. He failed. He couldn’t even get his speech out before Hiori says no. He tries to keep his face neutral, to give Hiori the ease of rejecting someone who won’t make a fuss, but he can’t shake the rigid disappointment that rests in him.
He nods his head once.
“Is that why you’re so spooled up right now?” Hiori’s thumbs come together at the crown of his head, smoothing out his crease lines, over his brows, tracing down to the pinpricks of his eyes. He needs to brace himself, but almost against his will, Rin feels some of the tension ease out of him. His mind inadvertently muffles as the comfort of Hiori soothes him, and he almost misses what is said next.
“It’s a yes.”
… What?
“What?”
He can’t have heard right.
A small giggle escapes Hiori, light as anything, “It’s a yes, it’s always been a yes.”
His mind careens straight back into chaos, a mix of adrenaline, disbelief, and euphoria.
“But everything is so shit,” STOP, his conscious screams, “I couldn’t even say my speech.” Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Hiori fixes him with a pointed stare as his lips quirk up in a knowing smirk. “Look, I know ya Rin. And I know you’ve probably been overthinkin’ bout this. Am I right?”
“I think I’ve thought about it an appropriate amount,” He says, bristling.
“Ya brought a towel to lay over the boards.”
“That’s because I’m not an idiot.”
“My point ,” and now Hiori breaks into a full grin, “Is that ya tend to get in your own head. so I’m tellin’ ya now that it's a yes. I’m not a goal where ya gotta get all the pieces right in order to score.”
“I know that,” Rin says, averting his eyes.
“And ya know I love ya.”
“Yes.” The words aren’t foreign, and yet it still sends a trill down his spine to hear. “I love you too.”
“And now,” Hiori says, one hand coming to grasp at his that isn’t holding his speech, “that y’know the outcome, ya can stop bein’ so worried and finish. I don’ wanna waste all your hard effort after all.”
Everything fades away then. His heart slows, his mind quiet, his body numbs, as it… clicks. Hiori said yes. Just like that. Like it didn’t even matter that he fucked up the proposal, that Hiori just loves him, and that’s enough to say yes. The thought passes down into his throat, thick and solid and glowing warm like honey, and settles between his lungs. The anxiety in his blood is replaced with spun-sugar, his whole body seeming to beat with the sentiments of; He said yes, we’re engaged, we’re going to be married.
Married .
“Stand back up then.”
And like hell he isn’t going to give Hiori a damn good proposal.
Hiori lets out an amused hum, standing up while still holding onto his one hand.
“Yo Hiori.”
Rin pockets his speech, uncaring of how it crumples, because looking into Hiori- his future husbands - eyes, he remembers every word. He brings his other hand up to hold Hiori’s, and continues.
“I don’t like people.”
Hiori’s eyes dip fondly as a giggle breaks out of him, and Rin isn’t one to be endeared to many things, but Hiori’s smile can only be described as cute.
“But I like you. You’re calming in a way no one else is. You’re naturally kind, even when you don’t have to be. You’re patient, smart, and beautiful. You’re so many things I’m not, and I love those things. But you’re also really weird,” Hiori laughs fully then, the sensation rippling down his arms, and Rin feels his own lips tilt slightly up, “and nerdy, and intense. And I love those things too. You both balance me, and also inspire me to improve. I can’t believe I met you, let alone that you agreed to be with me.”
He detaches his hand and reaches into his pocket,
“I don’t believe in fate or luck. But meeting you is beyond coincidence, so, just once, I’ll believe in fate, and that it brought me to you, because I’m not lucky enough to have met you otherwise. But, maybe that can change.”
He brings out the small velvet box.
“Yo, will you make me the luckiest man alive,” he opens it, “and marry me?”
“Hmmm,” Hiori says, tapping his chin in a mock-thinking manner. “I don’ know.”
“Bastard,” he says, but he’s already taking the ring out, reaching for Hiori’s left hand.
“I think ya mean fiancé ,” Hiori teases, splaying out his fingers so Rin can slide the ring on. It’s silver, inset with multiple small diamonds around the band, contrasting perfectly with Hiori’s pale skin. It’s Simple, practical-
“Beautiful,” Rin hears himself say, admiring the fact that Hiori is engaged to him more than the ring itself.
“I’d have to agree,” Hiori smiles, wrapping his arms around Rin’s neck, “but I think you’re forgettin’ somethin’ Rin.”
He doesn’t hesitate.
Rin feels his whole body sag in relief as their lips meet, any lingering anxiety dissipating. Hiori threads his fingers through his hair, and Rin can feel the barely-there new bump of the ring against his scalp. A new sensation that will become permanent, he realizes, and it sends a new wave of awe through him.
They break apart, only to rest their foreheads against each other; soaking up this newfound future together.
“Ready to head back? Since ya were so cold earlier.”
The moment lasts for just that, only a moment, but when Hiori pulls back Rin swears he would see a different moon phase. He almost wishes he would, if only to marvel at the idea of Hiori having been his fiancé as well as currently being .
“Yeah whatever,” Rin says, rolling his eyes. The annoyed effect is diminished when he grabs Hiori’s waist, pulling him closer.
“Oh hey,” Hiori turns his head, causing his nose to brush up against Rin’s cheek, “didya wanna get the sand oughta ya shoe before we walk back?”
And as he lifts up his leg to take off his shoe, Hiori’s hand in his to offer support, ring glinting off his finger, Rin can’t help but think-
I’m so lucky.