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Dear Sua,
I'm currently sitting in some building with members of the human rebellion, though I am alone in this room at the moment. One of the members' name is Hyuna, she escaped after she lost in the 49th season. Did you know that? ...Probably not, but Sua...
At this point, I don't even know what you do and do not know. You've been protecting me all this time, right? You never wanted me to feel down or hopeless. That has to be it. That's why you smiled at me, you wanted to send me off into reality with your final, soft smile. I feel so stupid. You knew you would die, didn't you? Ever since I first saw you, in a box in empty space. I remember the look in your eyes, the look of someone who thought they had no future.
So why, Sua? Why did you constantly stay by my side, instead of working towards a fighting chance of surviving, maybe even winning. You've always been a talented singer, at least in my eyes. What do you see in me that you felt you had to put so much effort in to make my life as good as it could be? You are like the sun, and I am like a plant struggling to grow in its environment. This place is hell, and now god is dead.
You know, I wish it mattered at this point, but I always thought it was the other way around. I always tried cheering you up, doing something silly to brighten your day. Remember that fish? I still have your laughing expression clear in my mind. Your laugh was just as beautiful as your song.
Sua, it feels like my brain and my heart is empty, urging for your presence. In the last round I was in before I was rescued, I--for a split second--thought you were there. I thought it was you caressing my face, above me like the angel you are. I feel like I don't deserve you, because even that fake millisecond felt like I was being saved and this was all a bad dream. How come I couldn't tell you apart? How did I not realize it was just a mirage? But I suppose such is the nature of a god, a twisted mystery of what is real and what is fake. My god, My universe.
But don't worry, imitation of a god is a sin, right? I gave Luka his due punishment. (That was who I was up against). Maybe you saw me from wherever you are, but I wouldn't have been able to. I was in a blind rage, because how dare he? Apparently, he won the last season and he came back for more. How unfair, right? Why do all the aliens like him so much?? I honestly wish he was dead, sorry for saying so but it's true Sua. I can't believe he would try to break my mind like that. Using an underhanded method like that to win is insane. Does he hate his own people? What is he getting out of this?! Honestly. I still have so much fury from the moment. I don't think I will ever recover from this, I wish I was more mentally prepared. Not to blame you, Sua.
Haha, isn't this funny? It sounds like I'm just speaking idly with you, even though you're dead. I saw your body sprawled on the stage in a pool of dark red. Your beautiful white dress got stained. Your hair even got in it. Ah, speaking of hair, I actually got mine cut. Some guard cut it and cut my cheek too. Now it's short, like yours was. In a way, it helps me remember you. I know you only died the other day, but I think I like my hair like this. I feel like I'm carrying a piece of you with me. Now all I need is a white headband, earrings, and short dress! Haha, well, that was going to be my outfit in the first place anyways. But I really did think it suited you better. I feel honored that the clothing you passed in was per my recommendation.
Hyuna was right, I feel slightly better. I guess she knows a lot about people and how they work. I know that none of this is even near ending, and I'm still worried for Till too. But now, it feels like you're still alive in a way. It feels like someone will really receive this letter. How shall I send it to the stars, my universe? Tell me and I'll do it.
I can't wait to write to you again. Well, I hope I can.
I love you, Sua. I hope that was clear in the song we sang as you took in your last breath.
Thank you for everything,
Mizi.